"Do you want to do something? I can take you anywhere." Yoongi offered.
Jimin shook his head no and kept staring ahead. The air was much warmer now and he could see the leafless trees slowly start to blossom.
He was sitting on a chair by his balcony while Yoongi stood behind him. He wanted Jimin to enjoy himself, at least a little.
The only things they ever did now was sit in silence. Which was fine as long as he was by Jimin's side.
But to Jimin, this didn't seem as pleasant. His eyes were filled with anger and sadness. Something he couldn't repair from morning to night.
It would take time and patience. Yoongi could ask for forgiveness for a million years and that still wouldn't be enough. He bawled his fists furious at their fate.
He wondered if he would've declined Taehyung's dad job offer if he would've met Jimin under different circumstances. Maybe his obstacle would've been fighting with Yuta for his love.
Which was still a difficult situation, but compared to their current one it seemed effortless.
"Do you want me to resign as your guard?" His voice was quiet. It still caught Jimin off guard because he could see him tense up and hold the chair tightly until his knuckles turned white.
"Are you bored of me again dog?" He fumed.
"Jimin—"
"Am I no longer interesting to you since you got what every man ever wants from me?" He argued with his face turning bright red.
Yoongi walked in front of him and leaned over to his height. "Jimin, you know that's not true." He said softly.
In the back of his head he could feel the doubt creeping in. What if a guard from down saw them here in the open balcony? He pushed that idea of the side and kept himself there.
"You said it yourself. You don't want me. You want to discard me like a broken toy."
"I never...I don't want to stop being your guard." He wanted to talk to him and tell him everything. It just wasn't the time or place.
"Then why do you ask such a stupid question?" He crowed with fury.
He leaned closer until their noses were centimeters away. Jimin's face turned a bright pink. His sweet breath breezed over his lips and that made him melt into a puddle. A love puddle.
"I just want to make sure you're okay with me here. I know I've hurt you a lot and I can't expect to come back and let everything go back to normal. I just want you to tell me that you're okay with this."
His low voice was soothing to his lips. It was a melody to his ears. Everything about him, his face, his lips, his eyes.
Min Yoongi was a fucking masterpiece.
One that Jimin would never get tired of seeing and therefore his last sense of dignity got swept under the rug. He knew he had to say no and let him leave because having him close only hurt him.
It abused him. Bruised his heart and weighed him down to the point it hurt to breathe. It even hurt to function, but as he looked into his eyes everything vanished.
The worries, the hurt, the pain.
"You can be my guard." He finally said after a long moment of silence.
For the first time in a while, Yoongi's lips curved up into a crooked smile. "Good. After lunch I'm taking you somewhere."
He straightened back up and resumed his spot behind him. Jimin kept swallowing the load of saliva that had puddled inside his mouth. Having Yoongi so close mesmerized him that he forgot how to do simple involuntary movements.
•••
Jimin stood by the entrance of the music room while Yoongi was closely next to him. Was this some sort of twisted game? To bring him to the room he loved the most?
"I assumed you'd take me shopping." He said, trying to not sound intrigued.
"Come in," he said, motioning him to follow.
Jimin debated it for a few seconds, but finally gave up. His curiosity had always been one of his biggest flaws. Along with his impulsivity.
Yoongi waited for him to walk further and then he closed the door behind. Jimin's breath hitched at these actions.
Although the room was pretty spacious and open, he couldn't help but feel so intrigued to be in the same room as him. Even if they were feet apart the electric discharge through his body was thrilling.
His heart pumped faster and he could hear it in his ears. When Yoongi took a seat in front of the piano and patted the space next to him he nearly lost his composure.
"What game are you playing?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Attempting to make his voice sound tough and defying did not work. He just sounded flustered.
"No game. Do you not want to sit next to me?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.
For the first time in a while, he looked defenseless. Small. His eyes were dark and very sad. Had Jimin been so caught up in his world that he hadn't realized this? Then again, it was fair that he was hurting too. It wasn't merciful for Jimin to feel everything alone.
"Not really." He replied, still trying to continue with the phase.
"Please." He pleased softly.
Jimin's stomach flipped flopped and he felt his knees turn into jelly. He swallowed down his nervousness and finally proceeded to sit next to him.
Their elbows were nearly touching, but he could feel his radiant body heat. His whole body got goosebumps like it was searching for his warmth.
He recalled what it felt like to be held in his arms. It felt safe, warm and peaceful. So very peaceful. Enough to silence his demons and doubts.
"If this is some trick I will cut you stupid dog." He attempted to sound harsh. Through his words you could hear the fear.
The fear of being let down again. Of being ultimately destroyed. He had just managed to put some pieces of himself back together and at the moment he could feel them cracking. He couldn't go through that again.
He'd already survived his heartbreak with Yuta and a second time with Yoongi. A third time seemed impossible for his fragile heart. Not to mention it was cruel to keep putting himself through it.
The mental and physical abuse his body had withstood was a miracle. Yet, here he was sitting next to him after all. Not much of a fight was put up because he immediately agreed too even though he attempted to resist.
Yoongi's fingers slowly traced over the piano keys and he began playing. A sweet, soft melody that could drift him to sleep.
"I'm sorry." He said as he played the music.
"For what?" Jimin responded coldly.
"For hurting you. For leaving. For everything."
Jimin turned to look at him, "There's nothing to apologize for. I was clearly mistaken about our...encounters."
"I never used you. I never wanted to stay away."
"You're a very good liar." He whispered with tears brimming his eyes. Why was he doing this to himself? He should stand up and walk away.
"Jimin, I did it to protect you." He whispered. The time to the music he was playing was getting slower and didn't sound like a complete piece. It was probably due to the fact that he couldn't quite concentrate on what he was doing.
"Protect me? From what?"
"From Taehyung. You don't know the things he's capable of. Sehun told one of the guards something about us being too close. We've been lucky to get past Taehyung's eyes. It's because he trusts me so much that he hasn't been able to tell, but it would only take a seed of doubt to be planted for the tree to bloom. I knew if I stayed close to you Sehun would tell him because he wants to overpass me. He's jealous of my accomplishments and in a business like this you don't care who you hurt. But right now, Sehun is gone. He's in charge of business overseas. He will be gone for a while. That's why I came back to you even though it's wrong. Even though it puts you in danger. I'm so sorry for hurting you. I'm so sorry."
Jimin looked ahead and felt his throat tightened. His heart was racing and so was his mind. There was anger, denial, hurt. Everything at once.
"So you did this to protect me? You stayed away to protect me? Because you're bad?" He asked sarcastically.
"Yes."
Jimin laughed, throwing his head back. It was a bitter one. Yoongi kept playing, but he turned to look at him puzzled.
"I don't see what's funny Jimin."
"So what if you're bad? I was hurt before you. Stop trying to save me because I'm just like you. I told you I'm not unhinged for what I feel. I knew what I was getting into."
They remained quiet after that. Yoongi even stopped playing and turned his attention to him. It felt like unconsciously they moved closer to each other.
Before the tension got heavier, Yoongi's phone rang. Jimin turned his face away, shocked at himself that he thought about kissing him.
"I have to go. Chan will take care of you for a few hours. I'll be back and talk to you. I promise." He whispered while holding his face in his hands.
They were cold and harsh like usual. His breathing was unsteady. Yoongi removed his hands and walked out. Chan was already outside the door.
Jimin stared at the piano in front of him with his judgment clouded. He hoped that Yoongi's promise wasn't an empty one.