*TRIGGER WARNING*
I was running down an endless road trying to get away from them. They ran after me all the way to my house calling me names. I ran inside locking the door behind me. They started banging on the door. "Can't hide in there forever."
I just ran upstairs. I was done with all of this. I was done with this life I could handle it. I through my bag to the ground and stormed to the bathroom. I took out my depression pills from the medicine cabinet. I put them in my hands and took half the boodle.
I slowly leaned against the tube staring at the wall, just waiting for my breath to run out. The gray wall started to get blurry. I heard yelling and screaming before my mother ran next to me and held my head on her lap.
**end of dream**
I woke up screaming. I was in a puddle of my own sweat. My breathing was heavy. I could fell the room closing in on me. I reached over and opened my draw, pulling out my pills. Carter burst through the door
I piped the cover off and PPP a pill in my mouth. It calm me down and I leaned back. "Are you okay?" Carter asked. I nodded my head. "What the hell did you just take?" He asked walking over to me. I shook my head. "It's for anxiety." I said.
"You sure you're okay?" I nodded my head. . He started to walk out of my room. "Thank you." "For what?" He asked turning at the door. "For being worried about me." He smiled. "No problem.
_____
I woke up and look at my phone. 8:46 am. I load in bed for a few second before deciding to get up. I grabbed a hoodie and throw it on over my tank top.
I look in my mirror by my dresser and notices I still had a few boxes left for me to unpack. I walked over and went through one of the boxes. It was just my bathroom stuff. I brought all the stuff in the bathroom and organized it.
In the other box it was just a bunch of random things, at the bottom was my old diary and song book. I took it out and sat on my bed.
This is where I would write to get all my feelings out. It was my only friend real. I was going through it, reading my old passages. When i came across a song i started to wright when i was around 12 I think.
It was called 'In Your Words.'
(A/n I know thats Rebecca Blacks song and i know i didn't write it lets pretend Madison did okay?)
I started to read the little bit of the song. I remembered the melody and the tone.
"Im moving on cause you set me free
And I'm tryin be as much as myself as if you were here with me
And I'm feeling lost but its not unheard
And while you go on living your life I'm still stuck here living in your words."
I smiled a bit at the memories of the day I wrote this. I smiled running my hand over the page. I sighed putting the book in my dresser draw with my socks.
I looked at my phone and it said it was 9:50. I got up and walked into the bathroom. Turning the shower to let it heat up. I put on "lighting in a bottle" by The Summer Set. I walked into my room and grabbed ripped jeans and a white shirt. I went into the bathroom and put my towel with my cloths.
I pulled my cloths off and stepped into the steaming hot shower. I washed my hair as i sang along to 'Hall Of Fame' by The Scrip.
After washing up, i got out of the shower and dried my body and put the towel around me to blow dried my hair. Once my curly blond hair was dried, I got dressed.
I walked into the living room. It was around 10:30 now. I noticed Carter in the kitchen starring at something.
"Whatcha doing in there Carter?" I asked sitting on the couch. "staring at the cubers and trying to make food appear with my mind." He said before shutting the cupboard.
I chuckled as Carter jumped over the couch and landed next to me.
"Im going to go get some breakfast want to come?" he asked.
I shook my head. "You have to eat at some point. You haven't eaten since you got here." He said sternly. "I'm not hungry, I ate earlier." I lied.
"Well I'm getting some food." He stood up and grabbed his skateboard and left. I know what your thinking. Why doest she eat, because I'm fat. Yes i believe what the people say. I need to loss weight.
I went upstair and sat in my spiny chair. I rolled over to my guitar. I started randomly strumming it and playing random cords. I thought for a second before taking out my song book. I put it up on my desk. I started making the lyrics.
It was about 30 minuets later and I had about half the song done. I adjusted my guitar ready to play the song.
What you don't know
What you cant see
What you don't realize, you once had until you see that its not free, and as for us
Its not clear, the clouds ain't always bad If when they fade it love
That they reveal
And I'm moving on
Cause you set me free
And I'm trying to be as much as myself as if you were hear with me
And I'm felling lost but its not unheard
And while you go on living your life I'm still stuck here
Living in your words
Well there was good
And there was bad
But i took for granted the way you made me laugh
And the way you spoke
Only i could hear
And the way i saw myself in you as if i were
Staring in a mirror
And I'm moving on cause you set me free
And I'm trying to be as much of myself as if you were here with me
And I'm feeling lost but its not unheard
And while you go on living your life I'm still stuck here
Living in your words.
I closed my eyes as I finished. I jumped when I heard clapping. Carter was standing in my door way with a another guy.
He was tall and had brownish blond hair and brown eyes.
"Hey thats pretty good Mads" Carter said smiling.
I could fell the heat rising to my cheeks. I just sat there staring at Carter and his friend.
I look from Carter to the other kid."Oh right Mads this is Matthew. Matthew this is Madison."
He just smiled and waved. My face got really hot and I looked down at the ground.
"Well...me and Mat will be in my room...bye" he said awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck. He closed my door behind him.
I laid back on my bed and covered my face with my hands. Great.
______
I got up and sat at my desk with my laptop. I opened up pandora and "I Just Wanna Run." Came on. I went to tumbler and read through a few story's.
I got a Twitter notification and I sighed clicking on it. It took my to Carters Page. He must of followed me and I didn't know.
The link brought me to a video.
Hey wrote "@Madison_Gray singing her own song. Isn't she great?"
I hesitate before looking at the comments.
"She lives with a dude? The fuck?"
"How is the kid video tapping not dead? i mean did you hear her singing? Dam."
"You know just do us all a favor and kill yourself. No one wants you here."
"I cant believe i was ever your best friend what was i thinking. Lol. Just die no one will miss you."
The last two hurt the most because they were from Gabby and Jake. I was now on my bed in tears just reading all the comments. I barred my face in my pillow as I cried.
I was like that for an hour reading more and more comments. I can't do this. I throw my phone across the room, it hit the door and fell to the floor.
I heard Carters door open. I got up to ran to mine and locked it. I stood in front of the door as he knocked. I didn't answer. I leaned my head on the door.
"Maddie are you okay i saw the comments." I didn't answer. My phone was still going off. I slid down against the door and pulled my knees up to my chest as I ran my hand through my hair.
Carter kept knocking on the door. "Please Madison open the door." I just sat there with my knees to my chest crying.
"Carter what are we going to do?" I heard Matt ask.
My phone started to go off more. I walked over to it and picked up the now cracked phone. It was tweet. "@Madison_Grey just kill yourself XD."
"Maddy please let me in." "Leave me alone Carter." I said walking to the door.
I slid down the door and i knew he was on the other side sitting against the door. By this time i think Matt left.
"Madison, please. Let me in."
"Carter just leave me alone."
We sat there as i got more and more notations.
"Fat pig"
"Die"
"Kill yourself"
After sitting against the door for like a half hour, I stood up unlocking and opened the door making Carter fall backwards onto the ground. "Thanks" he said with a smirk and stood up.
I could fell the tears coming back. I guess Carter could see that because he wrapped me in tight hug. I felt safe in his arms for the first time in a long time.
A/N
Heyo. Chapter 2.
-so Bye AVEIRE