The next morning, I realized that the bleeding had stopped. I got up slowly moving my legs side to side so that I could slide the soaked but dried up blood.There was a lot of blood that came out of me from the looks of the once ivory colored towel to a dried red towel----- almost like maroon. It smelt really bad, too. Dried blood does not smell pleasant. It released an awful fowl odour, to be precised.
I still had my bathrobe covering my body. I passed the mirror but witnessed that my hair was messy and tangled. It's better if I go take a shower and wash myself off of yesterday's unexpected event.
After my morning shower, I felt refreshed but relaxed. I sighed in satisfaction. I threw the soiled towel in a hamper beside the bathroom door. Hopefully, Mrs. Malik will see the towel and dispose it in a safe environment where no one would suspect anything. As I was changing, my mind trailed off to the question of whose my real mother? Is she really my mother, or is she my surrogate mother? Why must I find her, after all we have no biological connection with each other? She only knew me for 4 years but that was it. Will she remember who I was? So many questions and no answers.
"Hey, Bianca, I just want to let you know that breakf-------" I heard Zayn as he cracked opened my door. I got scared and tried to cover my body. It was too late, he saw me partially naked. I wished he didn't see me in this state. Zayn's eyes widen as he saw me. I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around my body but only exposing my back. There was a peculiar presence in the room that hung out.
Zayn inched closer to me. I flinched back. His gaze turned into pity. I was confused, what was he pitying me for? I traced his gaze and it hit me. He was staring at the scars on my back.
"What?" I said, only to break the silence. My voice echoed.
"Nothing, it's just...how can... your scars... I'm so sorry, " he was lost in word when he saw them shocked. Shocked was right, and he should be.
I shrugged and fixed my eyes on my feet. I gave him a slanted yet weak smile.
"Don't be sorry, Zayn. What had happened, had happened. You have no control of undoing something from the past, and having pity for others is no use either," I told him. He blushed of embarrassment. I think he got the memo of feeling pity and sympathetic.
"You are right, but seeing you physically hurt and run down aches my heart deeply," he remarked. I sighed. He came close towards me. I could almost feel him touching me. If he wanted to touch my scars, I would let him.
"I know, but don't worry I will be fine. I have you t lift me up, right?" I asked. I sat the edge of my bed. He followed me, too.
He pulled his arm around my torso and nudged me over to his chest. I stayed still as I heard his heart beating frantically. I felt him reach for my back and traced along my deep faded scars that ran along my back. It felt soothing and comfortable.
"Bianca?"
"Yeah."
"I love you, ok. Don't think I don't love you. I do. Even if I'm with someone else, I'm always thinking about you. When I cheated on you with Perrie, I wasn't thinking right. I was young and stupid to break your heart. Would you forgive me?" he explained. A tear rolled down my cheek. I unwinded from his grip and looked at him sternly.
"Zayn, I love you, too. Let's not talk about the past, we are living in the present but let's make memories in the future," I said. He smiled.
"Does that mean you forgive me?" he asked dumb fondly.
I nodded. He chuckled under his breath.
"Whenever you are ready, breakfast is downstairs," he told me as he got up and kissed me on my forehead.
"OK."
I turned back.
"Also, don't worry, we will find your mother soon," he reassured me. I nodded and he left. I closed and locked the door. That was weird, but comforting. I dried myself and changed into something comfortable such as a t-shirt and yoga pants. I sat down on Doniya's dressing table chair and combed my hair.
It was impossible to comb the tangles out. Suddenly, there was a knock on my door.
"Coming in!" I bellowed in a melodious voice. I heard two small smacks on the door and a door knob twisting to open the door. I forgot that locked the door. I got up and unlocked it. It was Mona and baby Ayesha standing at my door. I plastered a smile. I bent down to Ayesha's level.
"So you were the one who was knocking at my door,weren't you?" I asked as I cooed at her. Ayesha's almond shaped eyes flickered and brighten. She smiled revealing her two front teeth. I couldn't resist but laugh and kiss her big fleshy pink cheeks. I jumped up to Mona's height.
"Mona, hi! Please come in,"I offered.
"Thank you," she said as she and Ayesha strolled into my room. Ayesha started to climb slowly up onto Doniya's bed and she jumped boisteriously. Boy! Was she ever an active kid. Mona lay down in the middle of the bed. She seemed to me as if she was comfortable.She cupped a hand behind her head for support as she rested her other arm on the side of her hips loosely. She stared at me whilst I tried to get the tangles out of my hair. It was totally despicable!
I groaned and tears filled my eyes to every inch I took with that brush near my head. I gritted my teeth together.
"Here, me help," Mona offered through her broken English. I passed her my comb and she pulled my chair close to her so that she could comb the knots from my mane. Somehow, it was a miracle when she combed my hair. It didn't hurt as much as I would've combed it. She brushed it ever so gently that I didn't feel like I was ripping my skull out. It was relaxing, nonetheless soothing. I sat back.
Mona gave quick glances at me through the mirror. I smiled.
"Your mother ever brush your hair?" Mona asked as she scooped up the other small locks of tangled hair and brushed them with her fingers one by one.
My mother, I thought. My mother didn't love me as I remember it. She was a CEO for a huge Union company and had no time for me. It was wake up in the morning, made my breakfast and lunch, go to work, come back, make some shitty dinner and sleep. The same thing will happen the next day. It was a continuous cycle that I thought will never rest but unfortunately it did stop. It got laid to rest in a scary cemetery back in Pickering, Ontario, 500 metres or so beneath the cold, hard ,ground. My mother never combed my hair, came to any of elementary plays, also she never came to my graduation in grade 6 and 9. I envied my class mates since their mothers came to every single things, not their fathers. My father was there most of the time, no wonder me and my father were close---- but not anymore.
"No, my mother never loved me to comb my hair or to kiss me goodnight," I told her in a fierce tone. A tear rolled down my cheek. I wiped it off quickly so that she didn't witness it.
There was silence.
"Bianca, what you talking about? Your mama loved you very much. She don't want to let you go ever," she remarked. I could see her brown eyes glimmering in the sunlight from the window bouncing off in the room.
I turned around alarmed. Our faces and eyes perpetual to each other.
"Mona, what do you mean? My mother never loved me. She would wake up to get ready to go t------" before I could finish my sentence, Ayesha fell down from the bed and started to cry. I yelped and ran after her. I picked her up.
"Oh, Ayesha, baby, why?" I asked myself but indirectly to her.
She just wailed. I hushed her and sang her "little things" into her ears in a whispered tone. I sat down in front of Mona and rocked her back and forth in my arms. I kissed her forehead. I heard Mona chuckling.
"You love children One day, you will good mother," she commented.
"Thank you," I said. As I rocked Ayesha, Mona continued to comb my hair.
"You know every girl should get their hair combed by their mother once," Mona mumbled.
"I know, but I never had that kind of mother," I reminded her again. She placed the comb down for a minute and sighed. Her head was down and she concentrated.
"What's wrong?" I questioned. She looked up.
"Bianca, me need to tell you a deep secret, that family kept away from you," she confessed. The tips of my ears perked. I swiveled around as I caressed Ayesha. I had a sense that it was my abduction years ago, but I'll pretend that I don't know about it.
"What is it?" I demanded as I placed my free hand on her shoulder. She breathed out and spoke.
Let me tell you that what she told me shocked the living dead out of me.