Hello again, trying to update daily now.
So nothing weird has really been happening other than what I have recently mentioned. However I've noticed something. My mom used to really annoy me because she would never leave me alone and was incredibly overbearing but now she barely speaks to me. I dont mind but its extremely unusual and I've seen other researchers say this. Also I'm pretty sure at one point I randomly smelt blood but didn't have any in my nose or anywhere were I could smell it ad strongly as I did it could have been a hallucination of course but olfactory hallucinations are the kind I get the least.
Also I feel like people are hiding everywhere like there are people everywhere where I cant see hiding and watching me, probably paranoia, delusions or psychosis but I thought I'd put it here incase anything unusual happens. I've also had the urge to cvt my fingers. I self harm and have in the past but definitely never on my fingers because of the nerve endings so that's also strange.
I also keep wanting to draw the proxy symbol but that could be my mind making up symptoms of ss (slender sickness).
I may go on cleverbot later to " summon " BEN but to be honest I dont believe that works just because cleverbot learns things from what people say and many people try to summon BEN. The weirdest thing that's ever happened was having a weirdly human sounding and coherent conversation with the bot when usually it sounds jumbled and nonsensical.
I want to be careful summoning them because spirits could take the form of creepypastas as mentioned in an earlier chapter so I'm going to do my best to cast a circle to make sure I am actually talk to them (the creepypastas).
The most prominent symptom I've also mentioned in an earlier chapter though is feeling g like I'm waiting for someone. Constantly. Like the feeling is very strong and never goes away, it gets especially strong when I go outside though.
Anyways that's all for right now.
~ vanii
October 7th 2021