Suna
It was already 7 PM and I was on my way to meet up with Desiree. God this needs to stop after tonight I can't keep going on with this.
Even if that bitch won't stop, I need to tell (Y/N). She knows something is up and she definitely knew I wasn't just going to Atsumu.
We were meeting at a restaurant because it was always a place she wanted to meet me at, I don't know why, we never go in but she always wants to meet me there.
I don't know how long it actually was but it felt like an eternity waiting for her to show up.
"I was hoping you'd show up."
I quickly turned around and saw her.
"It's nice to see you" she says with that smug smile i definitely did not miss.at.all.
Can't say the same.
This felt like a god damn horror movie like as if I was getting murdered any second, just her presence makes me feel uneasy.
"What do you want Desiree." I said coldly, hoping to get this over with fast, I wanted to go back to (Y/N) as soon as possible, though she was with Michi so I just hope she isn't too bored.
Before she said anything she took my arm and dragged me into an alley. This can't be good.
She stood there with her back turned to me while I leaned against a wall.
"So where's (Y/N)? Your little girlfriend not with you?" She asked turning to me now.
"None of your business."
God can she just say what the fuck she wants.
"Why did you call me?" I'm getting impatient.
"No need to be so angry Suna." She raised her eyebrows probably seeing all of this as just a joke. I just kept looking at her without any expression and she gladly got the hint to finally tell me what the hell she wants.
"Well, you know. I miss what we had, we can fix this. She changed you and I don't like that. Where's my old Rinnie?" She started leaving lesser space between the both of us and started pouting like that would convince me.
Bitch.
Fixing this? You can't fix something that has never been there in the first place.
"We had nothing Desiree, you just used me. (Y/N) didn't change me, she makes me happy and I'm hers. Nothing can change that."
Did she really think I was falling back into her trap? She must think I'm dumber than a fucking rock.
It looked like she thought about saying something for a second but before she could say anything I had to get it out.
I've thought about how I could end this bullshit right here, and I didn't come up with the best idea, but it was worth a try. Either it would make the situation worse or it would end right here. I didn't care at this point.
I had some time to think about what to tell her that would make this girl shut up, but at this moment I just let everything out that was in my mind.
"Look I don't know what you still want from me besides just acting like you can control me. But if you talk any more shit about her or even dare publish these photos, I will tell anyone what a crazy bitch you can be and what you and not to mention, your family really are hiding behind that stupid facade everyone seems to fall for. I don't care how long it will take me or what you are trying to do, but leave (Y/N) out of this. You can spread any rumours about me or publish embarassing shit from me, I literally couldn't care less Desiree."
It felt like a heavy weight was lifted from my chest and that wasn't even everything that I wanted to say.
"What do you mean with what my family is hiding?" she let out a nervous laugh, thinking I wouldn't know.
According to her facial expression I can tell she definitely wasn't expecting that. I almost let out a laugh. Bringing her family into this apparently did the trick. If it was any other person or situation, I wouldn't bring anyones 'loved ones' into this. But I know what crap her father pulls and what i know could ruin his reputation since he is respected in this town, fucking bullshit.
"I'm not dumb Desiree and I am definitely not deaf, i know about the affairs of your mum and the crap your dad pulls behind closed doors and especially him admitting to the shitty stuff he does, you wouldn't want that info to get public now, would you?"
Has it been that easy or did she finally realise that I'm not falling for her bullshit anymore?
Is she going to say something? Normally I would be the one who's just silently listening, oh how the roles have been reversed.
"Not going to say anything?" I'm not gonna lie I had to hold back a smile, it was good to see her finally shutting up.
"You can do whatever you want, but you're not gonna get me back, not in a million years."
With that and without waiting for an answer I left. She didn't even try to hold me back so I'd take that as answer enough.
I need (Y/N). I need her now.
I hope all that stuff is over, but for now I have to tell her. I can't keep this from her anymore. I know that for now it was over at least, she wouldn't rat out her parents name since it was the only thing that kept her out of shit.
After calling (Y/n)'s number three times without her picking up I got worried, normally she'd always pick up her phone whenever I'd call her.
She's at Michi's, I can call her if she's not already home yet.
I searched for her number while still walking home and finally, someone picks up.
"Michi?" I said in a hurried tone.
"For fucks sake Suna, where the hell are you?"
Okay, wow. I've never heard her that angry. Michi knows the truth, basically because Osamu can't shut the fuck up and told her, or because Michi is too good in reading people and knowing when someone is hiding something, that's why she scares me sometimes not even gonna lie.
"Look I have no time to explain, I talked to Desiree and I hope the bullshit she pulls is ove-"
"Yea I know you've been with her, (Y/N) actually saw you, you fucking smartass."
No no no no no.
This can't be true. She saw us?
Oh god no, it looked so wrong. The two of us in a dark alley and that bitch trying to make a move on me, fuck.
I kept silent on the phone. She saw us before I could tell her. Shit.
"Suna?"
But I didn't answer. I need to think. How will I tell her the truth without her thinking it's another lie? She doesn't deserve all this shit and probably thinks I'm a lying asshole. Great, at least the asshole part was right I guess.
"I told her." Michi suddenly says.
What?
"Michi what? Couldn't you have said that like a minute ago before I started- oh my fucking god." My hands went through my hair, I need to see her right now. "Where is she? Put her on the phone Michi, please." I sounded so desperate, but I am in that moment, I fucked up. Once again. I could've just told her from the beginning and everything could have been good.
I just heard her laughing from the other line.
Excuse me, did I miss a joke or something?
"Well I could ask you the same because she left a few minutes ago and is not answering her phone." There was a short break "she said she went home."
Oh hell no. She wouldn't go there alone, especially not at night.
"I'll find her don't worry, I'll text you when I can" I said hurried, wanting to hang up as soon as I can and go after her.
"Suna, wait!" Michi said on the phone. She took my silence as a sign to hurry up. "I need this to be over, she needs it to be finally over, I don't want her dealing with any dumb bullshit anymore and I mean it when I say she deserves better."
Well, that hurt, but it's true. Everything I put her through to 'protect' her was fucking unnecessary.
Yea no shit she deserves better, a child could even see that.
"I know."
———
I knew she wasn't gonna go home, it was probably the last place she wanted to be at, even with only her mum home.
So I went to the only place there was left, and there I saw her.
Sitting on our bench, hugging herself with her arms and probably freezing, staring into nothing but the lights coming from several houses and street lights that you could see from that view. It looked so beautiful yet so depressing.
How do I approach this? Michi already told her.
I slowly walked up to her and already could imagine what was going on in her head.
"I knew you'd be here."
I didn't sit down, I don't know if she wanted me to, I'd understand if she wanted some space between us right now, even if the only thing I wanted right now was to hold her and forget everything ever happened.
She didn't turn around nor did she say anything as if she didn't hear me, her head still hung a bit low. But I know she did, because even in the dim lights that came from a street light nearby I could tell that she tensed up.
I didn't expect her to say anything, it was me who is responsible for this after all. So i spoke.
"I fucked up, I know that." I started, taking one step further so I'd stand next to the bench.
"I don't know where to start," and it was the truth, I had no fucking clue what to say besides telling her how sorry I am. "I know Michi told you everything already and I know you saw me in that alley."
I paused for a second recollecting my thoughts.
"I'm sorry that I lied to you and I know it's the stupidest excuse existing to mankind but I was trying to protect you."
She scoffed. Well at least I got a reaction from her i guess. But no other response.
"I get it if you're mad or disappointed or hate me, you have every right to. But please know I never intended to hurt you or do anything stupid, I promise I'll try to be better."
There was a short moment where I thought she said something when she opened her mouth and it fucking scared me. I could read her and her expressions well, but I sure as hell wasn't a mind reader and didn't know what was going on in her mind all the time obviously. But nothing came out, she still only listened to me, so I said want I wanted to say all along.
"I want to be better for you."
And shit, I don't know if I should've said that, because even though most of her hair covered the side of her face I could see from where i stood, I saw a tear running down.
I want to hold her, I hate seeing her cry, but I know I couldn't right now and her comfort was more important right now.
I wanted to speak again but I quickly closed my mouth again when she took a deep breath.
"I'm not mad at you Suna."
God, I don't know wether to be relieved or scared that something worse was coming. I expect the worse.
'I'm not mad at you Suna, I expected it.'
'I'm not mad at you Suna, I'm not surprised.'
'I knew i shouldn't have trusted you.'
She stood up but still didn't turn to me.
Please for gods sake say something.
(Y/n) took one last deep breath, turned to me and slowly began walking up to me. And at that point I knew it was over, she'd probably slap me across the face, which for the record, I'd deserve, and dump my ass.
But she didn't.
She.. hugged me?
I officially don't understand anything anymore and she seemed to notice my confusion because she began to speak.
"I need this right now. Please" she said against my chest and when I say tears threatened to fall I don't mean hers. I don't think I remember the last time i cried.
I put this girl through so much pain when she only deserved someone that was good for her, I wanted to be that person. But I'm not, at least not yet.
I hugged her back, I needed this too.
I still don't know if I should be completely relieved, this conversation obviously wasn't over. But none of us were in the mood to talk and just needed each others warmth.
I leaned my head on hers with one hand softly stroking her hair and the other rubbing her back, trying my best to comfort her.
"I could never hate you, Rin." She silently said, almost whispering. But I heard her and sighed.
Of relieve? Worry? Angst?
I don't know. But Michi was right, I know that something had to change and it wasn't her, but it can't keep going on like this.
It's not fair to her.
———
A/N:
so, hi :3
First I wanted to say, tbh I didnt really intend on keep writing this story purely because I felt like it was an ongoing conflict that was never coming to end and i
lost the motivation.
But I finally know where i want to go with this book and already have an ending in planning, so there will probably only be a few chapters left until the end (but I'm not promising anything!!)
I hope y'all can forgive me for not only not updating, but in advance for the heartbreak thats about to come.</3