TW: Child abandonment, abuse, self harm, murder.
This is y/n's past and if you feel uncomfortable with any of these topics you can skip this chapter.
"We can't take care of her," a woman said beside child y/n.
"We will take care of your child," the woman she was talking to said.
The man next to the woman, behind y/n, leaned down and took her hand in his, "We love you y/n. We will find a way to get you back, and give you the life you deserve. But for now you have to stay here, and maybe find someone else better for you."
"But I don't want someone else!" Y/n whined, "I want you!"
The man started crying, and hugged her, "I love you so much, sweetheart."
The woman next to him leaned down and hugged her too. When they both let go, the other woman took y/n's hand and led her away to a building, while she screamed, saying she wanted her parents.
Y/n looked to be a handful of years older than the other memory, and was in a big room, with lots of other girls and boys, all of them standing before a man, "You have an extraordinary opportunity. A way to defend yourself, be powerful!" The man was saying, "All you have to do is help me and listen to what I say."
The man didn't speak for a moment, and eyed them all, "So who wants to come with me?"
10 kids out of the 30, including y/n stepped forwards. The man laughed, "Well I can't take you all," then mumbled to himself, "Or maybe I can...and use some test subjects."
He picked out five of the kids, including y/n, then gave a small head nod to a lady standing to the side, "Thank you for your cooperation...you will be payed graciously."
The woman hesitantly nodded back.
Y/n watched kid after kid go through tests, and almost immediately die, not able to handle the power.
"Your turn subject 5." The same man from the building said.
Y/n gulped, clearly nervous, but nodded and followed him into the test room. A few men strapped her down into a bed, and they started injecting her with serum after serum, her screams echoing the room.
After a few minutes the men stopped, and unstrapped her, leading her to an inclosed cage, where they continued to teach her to use her powers for the next few years.
Y/n was out in a field, clearly on a mission, and she looked around nervously, "Maybe today is the day I finally escape..." she said to herself.
She turned herself invisible, and started walking through the forest, out back into the city. She continued walking before making it back to the building in the other memories, likely the orphanage, and knocked on the door, proceeding to fall unconscious on the doorstep, where a few minutes later someone found her and brought her inside.
There was a couple on one side of the table, and y/n on the other, a few years older once more.
"We're here to take you home y/n," the woman said kindly.
"Home?" Y/n asked, as if it was a foreign word.
"Yes, you can become part of our family," the man smiled.
Y/n smiled at them.
"Welcome to the family, Y/n Stark," the woman hugged her.
Y/n was at someone's house, where there was a man there too. She was wearing short sleeves in this, just like the other memory.
"You good for nothing whore," the man screamed at her, making her flinch back.
"You're here to satisfy me, if you don't want sex then too bad!" Y/n looked down, tears falling down her face.
There was memory after memory, of the man screaming at her, telling her she was there to help him.
The memory quickly changed to the first time she hurt herself. She stood in her bathroom, breathing hard, and out of rage, punched her mirror, shattering it to pieces. The picked up a piece and scratched it over her arm, squeezing her eyes shut from the pain. This happened multiple times, usually after fights with the man.
There were more memories of all the times she made excuses to people, as to why she was wearing long sleeves, hiding the marks.
More memories of how the man made her have sex with him, leaving her to her own after, leaving her to cry.
Y/n was in her room, asleep on bed, in long sleeved pajamas.
She woke up, sweating and panting, she looked around and saw her room on fire, she screeched and ran out of her room, only to see the rest of the house on fire.
The house's beams were collapsing, the whole house falling apart. Y/n ran into her adoptive parents room, seeing them screaming, on fire everywhere.
She screamed, "Mom! Dad!"
"Y/n...please," the man begged.
"Put us out of our misery!" The woman screamed.
Y/n was crying, but she nodded, finding a knife in their bathroom, probably used for shaving maybe, and walked over to them, tears in her eyes.
"We love you," the woman said.
"Do it," the man hissed.
Y/n sobbed, and put the knife to each of their necks, cutting their heads.
She rubbed her eyes, putting the knife down and clearing the tears. When she opened her eyes, the house was fine. There was no fire, but she looked to her parents, and saw them dead.
She screamed, "NOOOO!!"
She fell to her knees and sobbed, shaking.
At 11:50 pm, y/n felt Natasha shaking her shoulders, telling her to get up. She sat up in her bed and rubbed her eyes, mumbling, "I'm up, I'm up."
"Ok, come downstairs we're waiting for you," Nat said and left.
She took a deep breath and stood up, heading to her bathroom to quickly brush her hair and head downstairs. She were still wearing her hoodie, a long sleeve shirt under it, and leggings, like she always did. She put her brush down and came downstairs to see all the Avengers waiting for her(besides Thor). She looked at her watch that said 11:58.
"You know what to do," Nat said, and she nodded, heading to the bathroom.
She closed the door and started taking off her clothes.
She took of her hoodie and cringed at the bruises she could see on her neck now that the hoodie wasn't blocking it. She closed her eyes and took off her long sleeve shirt and leggings, leaving her bra and underwear. She opened her eyes and let herself look at herself in the mirror. All the bruises and scars all over her body. On her arms, stomach/chest, legs/thighs.
She looked away from her body before she got caught in memories once more, and looked at the watch on her left wrist. 11:59, 50 seconds.
She closed her eyes and counted down in her head.
10...
9...
8...
7...
6...
5...
4...
3...
2...
1...
She took one last deep breath and opened her eyes, and started checking all over her body for the tattoo.
Only after a second did she realize it was on the back of her left hand. It was a simple swirl. She looked at it and smiled. Then she took her right hand and started tracing it, only to stop as she realized there was another mark on the back of her right hand.
She gasped, two marks? That was unheard of. That shouldn't even be possible! One can't have two soulmates!
The one on her right was a stick, maybe a staff? With two snakes curled around it, their eyes facing her.
She almost started crying. Of course there would be something wrong with her. The universe obviously hated her.
She took a deep breath and tried to calm down. There was no way she could tell the other Avengers about this. Just like her powers, and the bruises and scars, they would freak and she didn't need that. She decided to pretend she just had one, and went with the swirl. Y/n put back on her clothes and pulled her right sleeve down to cover the other mark. She could cover it up later with make-up.
Y/n opened the door to see the Avengers waiting anxiously for her.
"So?" Tony asked first, breaking the silence, "Can we see it?"
Y/n showed them her left hand, the one with the swirl mark, and gave them her best fake smile.
Natasha squealed and gave her a hug.
"We are going to find your soulmate if it's the last thing we do," Natasha said, giving y/n a very determined glare.
Y/n actually laughed a little at that.
The next few memories were kind of blurred together. All the times y/n was with Loki, showing how she slowly started liking him, maybe even loving him.
How happy she was hanging out with him.
How much she trusted him.
"Where did you go?" Loki asked again, not looking at her.
"I asked Piedro to tell me how fast he could run, and instead he brought me to Washington DC with Wanda too," she explained, "I'm sorry if I worried you."
Loki stood up, twirled in a circle, then sat back down, letting her pet him again, and grumbled something she couldn't hear.
"Why don't you change back from cat?" She asked unexpectedly, "You said you have some powers, and I assume you can change, why don't you?"
"Didn't I answer you already?" He sighed, "The Avengers will be much more comfortable with getting used to me as a cute furry cat, then as myself."
"Ok...well why isn't yourself blue?"
Loki stood up, and backed away, looking at her, "What do you mean?"
She sat up, "Um I did a little research when you told me where you're originally from...I saw that Frost Giants live there, which means you're one, but you're not blue."
Loki looked down and took a deep breath, "I use illusions to hide my true self."
"Why?"
"Because I'm a monster! My kind has killed so many!" He yowled.
"Just because your kind killed people doesn't make you a monster," she said kindly.
"I look like one," he sad sadly.
"Show me."
He looked back at her, "What?"
"Show me what you really look like, I know you can."
He shook his head, "No. You will think me a monster too."
She slowly came closer to him, making him back up more, so she stopped, "I won't."
He looked down, "Please..." he begged, "I know you will."
She put one hand on his cheek, scratching his ear with a finger, "I promise you I won't."
Loki sighed, and jumped off the bed, then turned into his human form. She looked him up and down, he was wearing a regular shirt and jeans, and said, "Wow you're tall," making him laugh.
She got off the bed, and stood in front of him, taking his hand in hers, "Please show me."
Loki looked down at their intwined hands, "You're going to hate me."
He closed his eyes, as if he couldn't bare to see her expression as he changed. She saw the illusion fall and saw his true self.
His skin was completely blue, none of the paleness there anymore, and there were lines etched outwards all over his face and body. He opened his eyes, looking at you with a scared expression, and you saw they were blood red, instead of their usual emerald green.
She put her hand on his cheek, then he put his hand on hers, and said, "You're beautiful."
"You can't really think that," he said, not believing her.
"I do," she said, looking into his eyes, telling the full truth. No matter what form he was in, whether it be Asgardian, cat, or Frost Giant, he was still her Loki. And she...loved him, she admitted to herself.
"Then you're blind," he took her hand off his face, and turned around, turning his back to her, hurting y/n just a bit.
It was years of memories, but it happened in seconds. Loki took his hand back, and took a step back, breathing hard. He looked at y/n and saw she was crying, and felt bad, it must have been hard to relive those memories...