Shout out to @crazythando
Simon stood in front of his mirror and straitened the blue tie that hung round his neck. The warm June air drifted lazily in from his window, and Simon yearned for the coming end of school standing just around the corner, but to get there he'd need to get through a few more days. A tie to school was a new experience a few months prior, but today it adorned his neck in a sensible and normal manner, as if he'd worn one his whole life. His white dress shirt was neatly pressed, as Simon liked to keep it, and his hair combed swiftly from his eyes. St. Anne's Preparatory School for Boys had seemed like the end of the world, when Liam made him privy to the fact that he was going to be finishing out the school year, on the neatly manicured shut out lawns of the local Catholic School.
Liam had told him that his grandparents had sent over the money, and requested that Simon's education be finished in a proper Catholic way, but this made Simon suspicious. His grandparents had never much cared for his education before, nor were they particularly religious. They clung to a 'laissez faire' ideology that allowed them to live in Florida without interruption from their charges in Boston.
This information was brought to Simon just one day after Liam caught him and Shea together, and Simon wondered if it might have something to do with Liam wanting Simon away from Shea. Not that changing schools would have mattered much, being that Shea was well into his time at Cambridge, though Liam was unaware of that fact.
Simon liked St. Anne's. He liked the commitment to education. He liked the focus on the arts. He liked the serious, if a little stuck up, students. Mostly he liked that almost everyone had chosen to be there, rather than the forced nature of communal anguish fostered by Boston Central Schools. He was sure it was good for him too, being that fullness had returned to his cheeks, and a sparkle brought to his eyes. In this new environment, it was less of a chore to be cheerful, it took less of a toll on his health to be kind. Simon felt as if he could finally be himself more freely, and it was a good feeling.
"Morning, Liam." Simon smiled, sitting next to his brother.
"Good Morning, Simon." Liam nodded in response. The largest change to their situation was Liam, now a smiling shell of his former manic depressive self. Liam found it easier to function as well, and vowed he'd continue to make the money so Simon could continue to find peace in his Eden. Sure, he was tired, and borderline working himself to death, but Liam was proud of himself though. "Would you like a ride?"
"Sure!" Simon nodded, glad to avoid the bus. "What have you got going on today?"
"Practice after school." Liam responded lazily, allowing his eyes to linger on Simon, "You seem chipper."
"I suppose." Simon smiled slightly, "You as well."
"I suppose." Liam repeated with a larger smile. Simon had benefited from the change, but Liam even more. It was as if a large weight had been lifted off his heavy shoulders. Simon liked that look.
Life was less of a whirlwind at St. Anne's; everything seemed almost trapped, frozen in time. Nothing seemed to change or evolve, everything was stagnant. The trees, the fountains, the flowers, the desks, the chairs, the food, everything was the same, and it was comforting. Things changed so quickly at Boston Central. Simon thought that if he took to large a breath he'd miss a million different things.
The one window Simon allowed himself into his old ways was social media. He kept tabs on all his old friends and acquaintances, looking for them to be in good standing. Most notably, Garrett had led the team to a championship victory in the absence of Asher, and though Simon longed to reach out to the estranged Asher, he knew it was always best to let Asher make up his own mind, and come back when he wanted. Somehow Simon had hurt him by being his friend, and Asher was too fragile to risk that again.
Shea had messaged Simon several times from Cambridge trying to reach back out or establish a new connection, but Simon had decided it was too dangerous. If Liam checked his phone, or caught him talking to Shea, he'd lose it, and Simon decided no relationship was more important than the one he maintained with his brother. That one needed to take precedence.
"Are you ready?" Liam asked, and Simon nodded cheerily. "Let's go then." Liam nodded, and they made their way from the kitchen to the car. "You sure you won't be too warm in that?"
"It's a uniform, Liam."
"Right." Liam chuckled. "I forget... well, have a nice day at school."
"I will." Simon smiled, then pulled Liam into a half hug from the passenger seat. "Thank you... You were right.. I needed a change."
"Of course. I love you Simon." Liam smiled to himself, feeling a weight off his shoulders, and more satisified than he had in years.
"I love you too..." Simon broke the hug. "I should get going now..." Simon lingered a moment longer. "See you later."
"Of course."
....
Therapy.
Social workers.
Foster Care.
Foster Care?
It seemed like everyone had a different time consuming solution to Asher's problems. Everyone had a different way that they thought things ought to be done. Suddenly he was talking to social workers, then lawyers, then finally getting help, and facing his past.
Domestic Abuse.
The emboldened words at the top of the paper he was required to sign read. It wasn't the way he looked at his situation, or the words he would use, but that was how the social worker had labeled it. Asher had chosen to leave home, but now he was not permitted to go back home. Being eighteen meant he could go off and live on his own if he wanted to, but still they were looking for someone to take him in while he got back on his feet. Not every family wanted an eighteen year old foster kid. Of course, there was also Kit, and though Asher didn't want to disrupt the boy's life, the talk of him being removed from their mother was inevitable. His family was wealthy, so they'd have good lawyers and Kit would likely have to stay, but still it was considered.
Asher's mental case was deemed dire, and it was thought that Kit would go down the same path. The coach had decided not to press charges for destruction of property, but Asher would have to pay for the lock that he broke, and he thought it was only fair.
Asher, who never enjoyed school, now found it as an escape. He was relegated to the role of a social outcast, but it was worse than nights. Nights spent in sorrow wallowing at the home. The boys at the home were rough, and Asher was quickly getting a strong distaste for the so-called 'real world.' Nothing about his situation felt real. In fact it felt like a joke... but still. He needed help. Asher needed to stop putting things off and finally get better.
It was a long road. Like breaking an addiction, just as Simon said it would be. He was despondent and detached from life. Asher felt the world spin around him as if he had no real control over the situation. Perhaps Kit had come to visit him a few times. Perhaps not. Asher wasn't totally sure. He didn't feel like he was getting better, but he'd walk from the therapist's office covered in tears, but also feeling relived. It was the only time during his stay at the home that he felt anything at all.
What he did know, was that his mother hadn't come to see him. He figured she was angry with him. She always got angry when people asked difficult questions. Asher no longer had the strength to care if she felt angry.
Asher no longer had the strength to feel anything.
But he was getting better. He WAS getting better. He was sure of that. Asher was going to get better. Simon was right again, he knew. If he didn't want to get better he never would. Asher knew it would be a difficult challenge, but he had to want it every step of the way. If he ever lost sight of that, even for a moment, he'd relapse and have to start back from the beginning the next time he tried.
Asher had a court order so he could retrieve the rest of his clothing. He didn't see his mother. At least he didn't think he did. Maybe he had. Maybe he hadn't.
The boy was learning. Asher had a lot to learn, but he was learning to care for himself, and then care for others; because you can't do one without the other. Learning slowly, but learning. He needed to learn. He needed to relearn. He needed to acknowledge the changes that he needed to make, and make them.
It was going to be long hard work.
....
Shea skipped school most days. There just wasn't a reason to go. Why bother? He was broken. Simon had cast him out like garbage, and the beck of his selfish brother, and Shea was fuming. One to many times had he gotten so angry at Simon. How many times was he meant to forgive the boy? A hundred? He needed to be done.
But he just wasn't.
If Simon wanted him back he'd take the boy in a heartbeat. Shea wondered if it would always be like that. He wondered if he'd always be attached to Simon.
The only friend Shea had left was Garrett. Nobody else from Boston Central still talked to him. It wasn't like he couldn't adjust to a new school. It wasn't a new school, he'd been there before, but Shea had no interest in adjusting. He was still pissed that he had to adjust. It should be Asher stuck alienated like this. Shea thought to himself. Why was Shea being cast aside like the villain in a princess movie? It was Asher that was the real danger.
Shea cut off his hair. Shaved his head clean, hoping the semblance of a fresh start would be able to make him feel a little bit better, but it didn't work. It was the same Shea. The same broken, second choice, it'll do, Shea that he'd always been. It was like he was trapped under the boulder of his own personality.
No, Cambridge Public School was not the fresh start he'd wanted. Mostly because it wasn't fresh, being that he'd already gone there for most of his life. He'd already met all the people, and they all knew him.
The whispering started on his first day back, as expected. The school was filled with the same tired old people, so why not try the same old tired tactics. When Shea had been at Cambridge the first time, the rumor had been that he was gay, now in an upgrade, the rumor he heard was that he had sexually assaulted a boy, and forcibly separated from him by federal mandate. It was the biggest load of shit he'd ever heard, but nobody would get close enough to Shea to let him explain himself.
The people at Cambridge avoided him like the plague.
So Shea got himself a fake ID, and started him buying himself as many drinks as he could afford, and pouring them down his throat to make himself feel better. That's not all he did, though. Shea lost his virginity. Then lost it again. And again.
That'd show Simon.
In actuality Shea wasn't sure if Simon would care in the slightest, but he felt like he was doing at least something to hurt the other boy when he did it.
The person Shea's promiscuity really did hurt was his ex, a closeted boy on the football team, who had started Shea's sexual assault rumor.
"Did you sleep with Chad?" The man asked.
"Yep." Shea smiled. "And I'd do it again."
"You f-" Shea's ex began.
"I could say the same to you." Shea cut the boy off. "Cut the crap, or I'll tell everyone all the gay things you did."
Shea's ex had actually looked hurt, but Shea didn't care. Caring for others feelings had gotten him nowhere, so why bother. The only person that seemed to notice the change in Shea was Garrett.
"I don't like the person you've become." Garrett had said over the phone.
"Yeah?" Shea had asked. "Suck my dick." And of course Garrett had hung up the phone immediately as was to be expected. Shea felt bad for a moment before he decided he didn't really care. Garrett was a pain.
Still it was wrong to treat him like that. It was Simon's fault he was upset. All Simon's fault. Simon, the boy who dodged his calls and ignored him. Simon, the boy who pissed him off. Still, Garrett just had to get Simon back.
(A//n) Hi. It's me. I'm back.
So... I've been gone for MONTHS, and I really wanted to apologize. If you know I had originally planned to complete this book back in November, which of course did not happen. I'm really sorry. It's been college, college, and more college since September, and on top of that I got the lead in the fall play, and now I'm the lead in the musical, so I'm only going to get busier :(
I just want to say that I haven't forgotten about this book. I'm still invested in the story. I still intend to finish this book. However, if I do have to go radio silent I would like to remind everyone that I have to other completed books on my profile for you to binge in my absence. They're both bxb, so if you like this one you should like them. Also neither of them are as mentally taxing or messy as this book, so it should be a bit of a relief honestly.
Anyway, I've got a lull for a bit here, so I'm going to update as much as possible, and try and finish this book. Believe it or not we're almost done, I have the ending planned, I just need to get it down, which I'm going to do now.
Happy Reading!