"Sugars dropped again huh?" Jin asked, clicking his pen. He brought it up to his perfect plumped lips and bit it lightly as he scanned the paperwork.
"Yes. It happens often. I've got a medication pen just in case it drops too low. Nothing to worry about." He replied avoiding staring too long.
At times he got too caught up admiring him that he forgot what to even say. He could hear him stepping closer and he glanced at him from the corner of his eyes.
"Hypoglycemic episodes are always worrisome. Look at me please."
Namjoon straightened up and looked at him. He held his breath as Jin flashed a light across his eyes. He stared at him in delight because how was a human this beautiful?
It had to be a sin to be this gorgeous.
"Now we're checking your blood pressure." He spoke as he wrapped the cuff around his arm. He squinted at the pulse oximeter on his finger and looked up at him.
"You need to breathe." He reminded him.
Namjoon suddenly let out a shaky breath and felt a cough coming up. He quickly covered his mouth as he coughed trying to spread oxygen to his lungs. No wonder he had started feeling so lightheaded.
Jin waited until he stopped coughing to check his vitals. Once he was done, he removed the cuff and hummed. Namjoon waited nervously as he wrote some stuff down.
Then, he came and listened to his lungs. Up close he smelled so good. He looked good too. The white clashed perfectly against his tan skin.
"Vitals are great. Any other problems?"
He shook his head no and he nodded. "Perfect. Your endocrinologist is coming to see you in two weeks, but you already know that right?"
"Right."
"I'll let him know about the hypoglycemic episode."
Jin smiled and Namjoon timidly returned it. He felt himself blush and bowed, excusing himself. It was sad to know that doctor visits had become his favorite thing.
When he had appointments with Jin, he often told Hoseok to wait in the office. It was ludicrous to imagine that an appointment would lead to him finally kissing Jin. They weren't even past the awkward silence stage. Namjoon could barely say hey without getting nervous.
He shook his head embarrassed at himself for always thinking their relationship would evolve. He traveled down the elevator and headed to the dining room.
As he walked past the hallway, he looked out the glass door and stopped once he saw a figure. He stepped closer to the glass door and felt the cold radiating from outside.
Jimin was standing still and looking up at the clouds. The snow was falling and he stood frozen while Chan was behind him shivering. Namjoon stared for a few minutes to see if he would move, but he didn't.
Eventually, he sighed and kept moving only this time he changed his direction. He made his way to Taehyung's office and knocked, but did not wait for permission to walk in.
When he did, a startled Yoongi and Taehyung looked up. Namjoon headed straight to his brother, not addressing Yoongi.
"Can I talk to you really quick?"
"Brother, we're in the middle of something. We can—"
"It needs to be now. It's about Jimin."
To this, both of them looked alert. Yoongi fought the urge to panic, but his heart raced ferociously. These past few weeks hadn't been easy for him.
It was an nasty feeling of guilt that never let him in peace. The disappointment and pain he had caused Jimin were unbearable.
He wanted the world he used to have. The one with Jimin. And he couldn't even dare to imagine what Jimin was going through. It must be hell for him.
"Yoongi, please excuse us for a moment."
"Sure." He replied, setting the paperwork down on the table.
Namjoon nodded as a greeting as he walked out the door disappointed. He had hoped that Taehyung would allow him to stay and listen to whatever he had to say. At the end of the day he still cared and loved him even though he broke his heart.
Taehyung looked up and raised his eyebrows. "What's wrong with Jimin?"
"Haven't you noticed he's been acting weird?"
"Weird? No. He seems fine to me."
"You might think I'm not an observer, but I am. I keep quiet but I see things. These last four weeks he's been off. I catch him a lot outside and he looks like a walking corpse. Don't get me wrong, he doesn't look tired or like he's lost weight. He just doesn't seem all there. Shouldn't you ask him what's wrong? If he's going to be your escort for six more months then you should definitely try to figure it out. I don't like to get involved in your business, but I thought you should know."
Taehyung kept quiet. He had noticed a slight difference in Jimin lately, but he had chosen to ignore it. It was easier than to think that he was because of him.
"You know you can't keep him forever. Not if he's this miserable."
Taehyung tightened his jaw. "I know." He said through his gritted teeth. "Tell Yoongi we're done for now." He added turning away from him.
Namjoon nodded and headed outside. Yoongi quickly froze hoping that he hadn't seen him trying to hear behind the closed door.
"Taehyung says you're done for now. You can rest."
"Thank you sir." He bowed.
As soon as he heard his steps fade in the distance, he looked up. Rest? How could he rest with so many things in his head? Knowing that something was wrong with Jimin?
While Yoongi was self-loathing, Jimin was still outside feeling the cold hit his cheek. It was harsh weather. Even for February.
Chan was behind him shivering although he had a thicker coat than Jimin's. He didn't mind taking care of Jimin, but when he came outside and stood in the freezing snow it was always something he didn't enjoy as much.
"When will the snow stop?" Jimin asked, turning to him.
Chan looked startled. Jimin didn't speak often. In fact, he didn't really acknowledge him half of the time. So to hear this was shocking.
Jimin stared at his new guard and couldn't help being disappointed. Every time he turned to face him, he hoped it was Yoongi.
But it never was.
It had been two whole weeks that he hadn't even seen him. Yoongi was truly avoiding him to the max. It stung, here and there. Jimin found himself living the same day over and over.
It felt like the last four weeks had blended into one long day. It was hard to keep track of the time or the month. For some strange reason, being with Taehyung somehow was easier.
Maybe it was because there was no longer a romantic attachment between Yoongi and him. Therefore there was no guilt for sleeping with another man.
Not to mention, Taehyung wasn't precisely an animal when it came to it. He was sweet and gentle. Of course it was hard to feel anything because Jimin was still deeply submerged under water.
"I give it a few more weeks. By the end of February the snow is pretty much gone."
"Hmm." He replied once again with disappointment.
"You really like the snow don't you?" Chan added.
"Yeah. I do." He mumbled, staring back at his feet. He took a deep breath and winced lightly pressing his hand against his chest. It hurt to breathe sometimes. It would make his breath stutter, but was he a masochist if he liked to feel that?
Pain?
It was better than not feeling anything.
He sat on the snow and then laid back. The cold snow was starting to melt against his jeans making him slightly shiver.
He extended both arms and legs making a snow angel. His eyes were closed as the coldness kept making his skin crawl, but then it was gone.
His eyes flew open and he froze, not moving. He was stuck in a horrible vortex. Stuck on Yoongi, stuck on loving and needing him and that was the truth.
The day he left, Jimin became numb. That's why he enjoyed the small pangs of pain that would hit him every now and then. It was better than to be fucking numb. He was stuck in a body that was his but didn't feel like it was.
Jimin was too tired to move from the snow to even notice the figure dressed in all black watching him from the glass door.