A GROUP OF MEN ushered us into an awaiting vehicle. As soon as we were in, and the doors were locked, they started the vehicle and threw questions at us. Kinamusta nila kung nasaktan kami, kung may iba pa kaming nakita na umaaligid, kung wala ba kaming nararamdaman na kakaiba.
Sa sobrang bilis ng pangyayari, nakaramdam ako ng pagkahilo. Sinubukan kong pumalag at sumigaw, pero pinigilan ako ni Theo.
"Anong nangyayari?!" I hiseed at him nang makita na armado ang mga kumuha sa amin. "Theo, ano 'to?!"
"Check niyo si Sir Theo for any injury," sabi ng lalaking malaki ang katawan na nakaupo sa harapan. Moreno siya at may makapal na mga labi; lips that were now curled in frustration. Flashbacks hit me when I saw his face.
Sa terminal.
Sa harap ng bahay ni Theo.
Napasinghap ako. May lumapit sa akin na babae na naka-uniporme rin ng light blue at may earpiece sa tenga. She had a kind face, iyong tipong mapapantag ka, pero hindi iyon nakatulong para mapalagay ako. "Okay lang po ba kayo, Ms. Megan? Ako po si Agatha, security detail ni Sir Theo. Muntik na kayong malapitan kanina nung sumusunod kay Sir. May masakit po ba sa 'yo?"
I couldn't speak. My jaw was locked in place and a tear rolled down my cheek. Nanginginig pa rin ang kalamnan ko magmula noong hinablot nila ako.
"Ma'am?" nag-aalalang tanong ng babae na malinis ang pagkakapusod ng buhok. "Apprehended na po 'yong suspect." She shone a flashlight on my face at tumingin kay Theo. "Mukhang in-shock si Ma'am, Sir."
Galit na hinablot ni Theo ang flashlight mula sa babae and he grabbed me to face him. "Megan, okay ka lang ba?"
"Theo," was all I could manage to say. "Theo..."
He turned to the familiar man with blazing eyes. "Sinabi ko na sa inyo na 'wag niyo akong sundan. Bakit hindi kayo nakikinig? Kahit sa Bicol sinundan niyo ako!"
"Sir, kaya po kayo pinababantayan ng papa niyo para maiwasan ang mga ganitong sitwasyon," paliwanag ni Agatha na nakaluhod pa rin sa harap ko.
Papa? Security?
Anong nangyayari?
Sinubukan kong alalahanin ang nangyari. Theo's face, his warm breath against my lips, may lalaking humawak sa akin, may humila kay Theo, the guy who grabbed me was pushed to the ground...
Nagtakbuhan ang mga tao sa park palayo.
Tinawag ni Theo ang pangalan ko.
May nagbalot sa akin ng jacket at ipinasok ako sa sasakyan.
I held the jacket tighter against my body. Nanginginig man ay humarap ako sa lalaking puno ng pag-aalala ang mga mata. I traced every inch of his face with my eyes, trying to relearn them, trying to remember if something changed. Pero walang nagbago, siya pa rin si Theo na nakasama ko sa Bicol, 'yong artist na 'di marunong gumamit ng pinto at naninigarilyo kapag aburido. Nakaputi siya ngayon but he always wore black.
He was the same person who'd always run after me or take me away during an argument. Dinalhan ako ng lalaking 'to ng donuts at nilibre ng kwek-kwek. He almost kissed me.
Yet, this man was a stranger. Hindi ko siya kilala.
"Sino ka ba talaga, Theo?"
He shut his eyes as if the answer pained him at magmula sa takot ay nabuo ang galit sa dibdib ko. "Sino ka?! Magsalita ka?! Sino ka? Sila ba 'yong naghahanap sa atin sa beach?"
He hesitated, but he nodded eventually.
I fell back in my seat. Parang naubusan ako ng lakas. "Ano 'yon?" 'di ko makapaniwalang tanong. "Alin 'yong totoo sa pinagsamahan natin? Peke ba lahat ng 'yon? Bakit ka may security?"
Walang sumagot ni isa sa loob ng malaking van at sumigaw ako. "Sino kayo?!"
Nagsalita ang lalaking nakita ko sa harap ng bahay ni Theo. Tiningnan niya muna si Theo bago tuluyang sumagot. "Security po kami ni Senator Perez, Ma'am."
It clicked. Everything clicked right at that moment—his animosity toward Senator Perez and politicians, ang pagka-late niyang madalas, his flaky presence. At higit sa lahat, kung bakit niya itinago sa akin kung sino siya.
'Wag ka nang gumaya sa akin. 'Wag kang mag-girlfriend ng taong sa tingin ng mundo ay 'di pwede sa 'yo. Kaya kahit kailan never na talaga ako magjo-jowa ng taong hindi simple ang buhay. 'Yong hindi ko pwedeng maka-holding hands sa mall kasi baka masaktan ako.
"Ibaba niyo na ako."
"Pero, Miss Megan hindi pa namin na-inspect ang lugar kung safe. Malapit na ang eleksyon kaya delikado ngayon," alma ni Agatha.
"Megan." Theo tried to reach for me but I shook his head away. "Please, ihatid na muna kita."
"Theo, please. Hayaan mo na muna akong i-absorb 'to. Ibaba niyo na muna ako."
With a frustrated sigh, he asked the driver to pull over. Walang lingon akong bumaba at naglakad para makapara ng masasakyan. I ignored him when he called my name, asking if I was sure that I'd be safe. Narinig ko ang paghingi niya ng sorry, but I dared not to look back. Kahit na hindi ako naglakas ng loob na tumingin sa likod ko, alam kong nakasunod pa rin ang sasakyan nila sa akin.
Yet with every step I took, I knew I was headed closer back to my box, and this time, a numbing pang was my company.
-
Buong gabi akong umiyak. It was the longest cry I had in years. Noong huling beses yata na umiyak ako ng ganito kalala ay noong nawala si Papa. Noon, kasama ko si Mama para yakapin ako at sabihin sa akin na hindi ko kasalanan. Pero ngayon, ni hindi ko kayang pagbuksan ng pinto si Lola Dally na nakailang beses nang kumatok.
I was ashamed.
Pakiramdam ko, ang tanga ko nanaman. Unang beses na nga ulit akong nakagusto, sa lalaki pang 'di ko maaabot. I was about to do the very same mistakes again, at sisirain ko nanaman ang buhay ng marami kasi hindi ako nag-isip. Hindi pa nga ako tapos sa pagdurusa ko kay Derek, dadagdagan ko nanaman.
Ni hindi man lang ako nagduda, gaya ng dati.
Paulit-ulit na lang.
Lumiwanag na muli ang kalangitan at lumabas nanaman ang mga puting ulap, but I stayed under the sheets—hidden, betrayed, and supposedly safe. Kahit na init na init na sa ilalim ng kumot ay 'di ko ginawang lumabas. Then, the person who was more stubborn than me arrived.
"Kung hindi mo bubuksan ang pinto, sisipain ko 'to, girl. Wala akong pambayad ng pinto mo pero gagawin ko."
Mas lalo pa akong nagtago sa ilalim ng kumot nang marinig ang boses ni Jenna.
"Isa," banta niya at sinipa ang pinto. "'Di mo talaga bubuksan?"
She kicked the door again and I bolted up right. Agad kong tinawid ang distansya mula sa higaan at pinto para buksan iyon. The disgusted look on her face was what greeted me.
"Bakit ka ganyan makatingin?" maktol ko. "Kung ayaw mo akong makita, umalis ka na."
She pushed past me and deposited a carton of food on my nightstand. Kahit na puno ng sipon ang ilong ay naamoy ko ang masarap na langhap ng lomi at bagong hango na turon.
"Kumain ka na pagkatapos maligo ka so you feel better," she said. "Daig pa ng drama mo ang hiniwalayan ng boyfriend, e hindi naman kayo."
Iniyakap ko ang kumot sa sarili at suminghot. "Pinapunta ka ba niya rito?"
"I'll still go here kahit 'di niya ako pinapunta. Magkaibigan tayo, 'di ba?" Nilagyan niya ng plastic spoon ang lomi at umupo sa desk ko.
I glared at her Doc Martens that were comfortably perched on top of my desk. 'Yan nanaman siya, in her typical devil-may-care glory and rockstar outfit.
"Alam mo 'no? Alam mo na anak siya ni Senator Perez."
Jenna's shrug was too casual to provide me comfort. "Hindi ko kasi sikreto kaya 'di ko ipinagkakalat, at 'di ko rin naman alam ang ganap niyo sa Bicol kaya 'di kita nabigyan ng warning."
I let out a sob but she ignored me, kicking her feet to turn the swivel chair she was in to face my drawings. "Aba at productive din pala ang pagiging sawi mo," she noted, picking out a particular one with her chin. "Bet ko 'tong purple na dress. Lagyan mo ng slit 'tapos tahiin mo, bibilhin ko. Name your price."
"Mukha ba talaga akong pera para sa inyong lahat? Ganoon ba ako kababaw? Kaya niya ba tinago kasi feeling niya gagatasan ko siya o itinago niya kasi alam niyang ayaw ko na sa mayayaman? Alin ba ang totoo?!"
Jenna blinked at me for a second too long then clicked her tongue. "Aba sige, pagbigyan natin 'yang drama na 'yan. Ikuwento mo."
So I did. Ikinuwento ko talaga sa kanya na walang halong hiya at takot. I didn't leave any information behind and when the final story of being chucked into a van was done, Jenna whistled.
"Girl, hanep. That was one hell of a story. Para kang nasa soap opera, I'm loving it!"
I dropped to the floor, nakabalot pa rin ng kumot at may uhog.
"Gusto mo bang magseryoso ako?" I didn't bother answering and she nodded. "Sige, sige. Okay fine. Why does it feel like you're overthinking this, e hindi mo pa nga naririnig ang explanation ni Theo." She paused to collect her thoughts. "Okay, I value respect a lot pero dahil friend kita, I'm letting you know na hindi talaga sila in good terms ng tatay niya. It's like, Theo doesn't even want any attachment with his father. So 'di madali sa kanya na i-acknowledge o ikuwento sa iba kung sino 'yong tatay niya. May sense ba? Aside from that, not that I'm defending him because he's also my friend pero hindi niya lang siguro alam kung paano sasabihin sa 'yo lalo na with your history with Derek."
"E kinakampihan mo naman talaga siya."
"Megan, please," she groaned, flipping the invisible extra length of her silver pixie cut. "Kilala kita, and I know that people bully you for fun and you're so comfortable underneath that—" itinuro niya ang kumot na nakabalot sa akin— "cloth of pity that victims wear, but please step out of it. Hindi porket biktima ka ay hindi ka na puwedeng lumaban. Huwag mong panindigan, okay? And don't assume other people in your life are out to get you as well. I'm sure Theo doesn't. At 'yong nangyari sa Bicol, it was partly your fault, but not entirely yours, okay?"
Yumuko ako, admitting silently to myself that she was right, and that was what I loved about our friendship. Jen was blunt, but she was a good friend who always had your back, and most of all, she'd guide you back to the right path—itutulak ka nga lang niya.
Jenna pulled back her feet from table, at lumapit siya sa akin. "I suck at comforting people, pero my point is, stop beating yourself up lalo na kung 'di mo naman kasalanan. What he did was wrong, pero hindi iyon ang dahilan kung bakit umiiyak ka, at alam natin it's your self-esteem that broke your heart and not him. E gustuhin ka talaga ng mga political sons, e. Anong magagawa nila? I know you're upset kasi akala mo simpleng tao lang si Theo, but if you ignore the fact that his family is acknowledging him now, you'd still see the same guy. Kung gusto mo, stalk mo na lang 'yong magiging in laws mo para 'di ka ma-intimidate."
Kaya ko ba talaga na magkagusto kay Theo kahit na galing siyang prominenteng pamilya? Kaya ko ba 'tong gawin ulit? Ni hindi ko nga alam kung gusto niya ba talaga ako o naaawa lang siya sa akin.
She snickered and pulled out her phone. Nag-scroll siya at ipinakita sa akin ang picture ng isang dalaga na nakaputing tube. The girl in the photo looked to be around twenty-one. Mahaba ang mukha at mukhang manika, even her hair was brown.
Tinulak ko palayo ang cellphone ni Jenna. "Anak 'yan ni Senator Perez, e."
Asther Perez, ang nag-iisang anak ni Senator Perez at ang beauty queen nitong asawa. Who would've thought na kapatid pala ito sa ama ni Theo?
"Kaya nga in-laws! Nako, kuwento ko sa 'yo 'yong nangyari noon dito kay Asther—nakakatawa. Tumakas din siya sa security niya para mag-grocery 'tapos tinawagan si Theo ng papa nila para hanapin, ayon, Theo ended up bringing home her groceries including sanitary pads."
Naalala ko 'yong gabi na pinuntahan namin si Theo sa Silly Strokes at may nakita akong sanitary napkins sa mga pinamili niya. "So, hindi sa 'yo, 'yon?"
Jenna looked offended and I quickly shut up. "Ipakita ko na lang sa 'yo 'yong Twitter niya kasi nakita ko na nag-post siya noong isa about sa—wait..." She launched the app, and as soon as the tweets loaded her face fell.
"Hoy." Tinapik ko siya. "Ano meron?"
She turned to me with wide eyes. "Megan, trending ka."
Dali-dali kong kinuha ang sariling cellphone sa ilalim ng unan at tiningnan ang trending topics, and there I was, or rather the mystery girl who broke Kiana June's trust at number one in the Philippine trends.
Grabe yung kay kiana june! Napanood niyo na ba yung latest vlog niya?
Professionalism in today's society: a thread.
Sino kaya yung babae?! #ProtectKianaJuneAtAllCosts
my cousin din hired the services of an event coordinator and the girl ruined her wedding, swear! Imagine at this day and age normal na yung pang-aagaw. #snake #ProtectKianaJuneAtAllCosts
Hinanap ko agad ang pinag-uusapang video ni Kiana at kahit na pinipigilan ni Jen ay pinanood ko iyon, I kept my eyes glued to the screen, hanging onto her every word.
The video started with Kiana smiling, then, it showed her breaking down. Inabutan siya ng tissue ni Tweeting, ang secretary nito at saglit siyang tumawa bago umiyak ulit. She proceeded to tell her tale of how it went, and in that story, I was the villain.
Nagpanggap daw ako na mabuting kaibigan ni Derek sa kanya and blackmailed him with money so I wouldn't tell her my identity. Balak ko raw sirain ang kasal niya and even went as far as sabotaging the designs of her dress and forcing my classmate in high school to prepare subpar food for her wedding because I was still in love with Derek. She showed them the deposit slips, blurring my name and account number on the screen. Nagkuwento siya kung paanong umamin ang kasamahan ko sa trabaho na masama talaga ang ugali ko and that I was out to ruin weddings with the purpose of stealing the rich groom.
Kiana said that she refused to believe those because she thought of me as a friend, but the evidence kept telling her otherwise. Pero sa kabuuan ng video na 'yon, sa loob ng dalawampu't anim na minutong kasinungalingan, isang bagay ang hindi ko inaakalang marinig.
Kiana wiped her tears—barefaced and in a white blouse—and looked straight into the camera. "But I know that Derek loves me so much, I never once doubted that, kaya with the help of my coordinators, we will still continue with the wedding this December. I'm really grateful to everyone who stayed by my side, kanila Tash who were very professional. Thank you for supporting me and Derek. Thank you for making this fairytale come alive."
As expected, Derek didn't do anything to help me.
"Tigilan mo na kakapanood niyan, hindi naman totoo." Sinubukang agawin ni Jenna ang cellphone ko pero nag-ring iyon. I immediately answered it when I saw Weng's name.
"Be, nabalitaan namin 'yong nangyari. Okay ka lang ba? Nasa baba kami ni Vince ng apartment mo, dala namin 'yong mga gamit mo sa opisina."
Narinig ko ang galit na boses ni Vince sa kabilang linya. "Alam niyo ba?"
Huminga nang malalim si Weng. "Be, ang alam ko kasi tuloy pa rin ang kasal dahil nagkausap sila ni Sir Rin, pero 'di namin alam sa Elixir na may ginawa palang ganyan si Tasha."
My voice was trembling but I fought against it. "Anong ginawa ni Tasha?"
"Ang alam ko lang, be, siya 'yong nagsumbong kay Kiana tungkol sa nakaraan niyo ni Derek kasi nakita niya kayo noon sa San Juanito. 'Tapos, nag-usap sila na basta aalisin ka, Elixir pa rin ang kukunin ni Kiana. I'm sorry."
It didn't take me long enough to decide that I needed to do something.