Heyyyyyyyyyy😏
Diamond's POV
2 months later
December 1st
"You're really leaving" Nani asked as I packed my shit.
"Yes. College is a huge part as to why I feel the way I do. I just need to get away from it. It's not for me anymore"
"Oh wow. But diamond stay in touch please. Imma miss yo ugly ass" she said making me laugh.
"I'll try. Just give me time though because I know the first few months are gonna be rocky for me" I said zipping my suit case.
"Okay" she said.
I stood up and took a deep breath. Everything else is already in my car. I just had a little bit of clothes left.
I looked down at my watch and sighed. It's 10:00am. This is the longest I've went without drinking nothing. My body is literally craving alcohol right now.
Im not gonna drink shit until I get to my destination. I was supposed to go see DeAsjah today and stay til my flight on Sunday but I don't know anymore.
I might just go see her on Sunday before I leave.
But she's part of the reason why I ain't drunk shit at all today. I'm really fighting demons right now tryna stay sober.
I just feel weird standing in her face knowing I broke every promise we made. Barely even attempted to keep them.
The first one was that I wouldn't drink heavy anymore. Broke that one the next day.
The second one was that I'd try to control it. Haven't attempted at that shit.
The last one was that I wouldn't get black out drunk. That's happened three times since the promise. One time I was put in the hospital. No one knows but Nani though.
So no I haven't been doing good at all. I still ain't been to class. Only to take my midterms though. I passed them shits with flying colors. No I wasn't sober during them either.
Life's been shitty. Real shitty and I've really been finding it hard to stay sober. I feel like I've thrown my life away.
I barely talk to anyone. I barely eat. I barely sleep.
"Ughhh I fucking hate my life"
"Go see your girlfriend" Nani said patting my shoulder.
"I don't wanna. She's gonna be so fucking disappointed in me. And that feeling.. that- that look doesn't feel great at all"
"Too bad. I called her already so she knows your leaving. You might as well go see her"
"The fuck would you do that for?" I asked turning around to her.
"Diamond stop leaving her in the dark."
"I'm not. And it was my business to tell Nani. Not yours. Stop doing that for real"
"So what you was just gon leave without telling her shit?"
"I don't fucking know. Stop putting yourself in the middle of my relationship Damn. I can tell her shit."
"But you weren't"
"Nani get the fuck outta my face for real"
"Ight bro. Bye diamond. I hope you get this shit under control." She said walking out but then she popped her head back in.
"Oh and she knows about your little hospital visit"
"Nani what the fuck." I said walking up on her and pushing her.
"She has a right to know"
"It wasn't your place to tell. You just destroyed my damn relationship. What the fuck is she gonna think about me now?"
"Wake up and realize your destroying your own relationship. You're not allowing her to be there for yo. You're not allowing no one to help you"
"I don't need nobody's fucking help. I got my damn self"
"No you don't. You're losing yourself. You have a problem diamond and you need to get help."
"I fucking know I have a problem. Stop telling me that shit"
"So fucking fix it" she said pushing me back away from her.
"I'm fucking trying"
"No you're not."
"How about you fucking fix me then. You fucking help me. Instead of yelling in my damn face. What the fuck have you done besides yell at me to get better? Newsflash yelling doesn't solve shit"
"What have I done? Did you really just ask what have I done?" She said waking up in my face.
"Mann get out my face" I said pushing her but she walked back up on me.
"Diamond who the fuck makes sure you alive each and every night? Who comes and checks on you? Who held your hair back when you were throwing up every Ight? Who came and got you from them parties because you were too fucking wasted to even say your name correctly. Who took yo ass to the hospital when you were literally laying on that floor nearly dead? Who makes sure you're in your bed each and every night instead of on the floor."
I stayed quiet.
"Me that's fucking who. So don't you ever question what I did for you. I was always fucking there for you. I did it all. Diamond you even threw up in my fucking car."
"You didn't have—
"You're right. I didn't have to. But I wanted to because as my friend I wasn't gonna let you handle that shot alone. But addiction or not I'm not finna let you treat me like I didn't absolutely nothing for you. Like I wasn't the shoulder you leaned on. The shoulder you cried on."
"I'm sorry" I said looking everywhere by her face.
"Bye Diamond. Get help please"
Damn. I fuck up everything now. I can't do shit right.
•••
"Hello? Where are you?" I asked my dad on the phone. I'm currently sitting infront if my house.
"Work why?"
"I'm in town"
"You decided to tell DeAsjah?"
"No but she knows."
"Go see her. I'm not in the office right now anyways."
"I can wait"
"Diamond go see her. I'm surprised she ain't called you"
"It's cause she's giving me the space I want or however she put it"
"Go"
"Okay. Can you uhhh call me when you get back or something?"
"Yeah. I gotta sign my transfer papers anyways."
He's coming with me. Only for a couple months though then he's coming back.
"Okay" I said.
"I gotta go. Love you"
"Love you too" I said and hung up.
Then I called DeAsjah and pulled off.
"Long time no see" she said when she answered.
"Sorry about that."
"Yeah okay. Whatchu want?"
"Whatchu mean? I can't just call you?"
"Well you never do so I was just assuming you wanted something. I don't never know when it comes to you now"
"Damn shots thrown. I understand it's my fault though."
"Damn right it's your fucking fault. I've been nothing but good to you and the only thing I ask is that you pick up the phone. You can talk to everyone else even my own sister but you can't talk to me. Your fucking girlfriend if you've forgot. And then I hear from someone else that you're leaving. ON FUCKING SUNDAY. It's Friday Diamond. When were you gonna tell me huh?"
"I'm trying so fucking hard not to give up on us but everything just feels so forced. I feel like I'm forcing you to be with me. If you don't want to be with me please just say that"
Instead of answering I checked her location and drove there. Apparently she's at her mom's house.
Yes I talk to Shay more than her. I talk to Shay more than anyone.
It's just that Shay is just easy to talk to I guess. It's like she doesn't judge me. And she doesn't try and force me to get better. She just takes it day by day with me. She listens and gives me advice without pressuring me to get better. She suggests it but doesn't pressure me.
But that's not the reason I don't talk to DeAsjah. I don't talk to her because I don't want her to see just how bad this "problem" really is.
I don't want to see the look of disappointment on her face. I'm really just afraid of what she'd think of me. What she'd do.
This girl literally has my fucking heart in the plan of her hands. Her opinion matters so much to me.
I guess I'm afraid of failing her. Of disappointing her. But apparently I already did. Majorly.
"Can you come outside?" I asked parking my car.
She didn't say nothing. All she did was hang the phone up.
A few minutes later she came out the house and got in the car.
Before saying anything to me she immediately started searching my car. Probably for a bottle.
"Damn. Youn trust me enough not to have drunk nothing? Kinda hurts you know" I said laughing a little.
Is she gonna find one? Yeah. One plus two more. I haven't drunk outta them today though.
I watched as she found all three and poured them out on the side of the road.
She got back in and slammed the door then she grabbed my chin pulling my face to hers. I opened my mouth and she smelled my breath.
Afterwards she let me go and leaned against the window.
"Can you come here?" I asked softly as I slid my seat back as best as I could.
The shit I'm my backseat made it kinda hard.
"I'm here. Whatchu want?"
"DeAsjah"
"No diamond. Fuck you for real"
"Please"
She huffed and climbed in my lap. I rubbed on her thighs.
"Can I get a kiss?" I asked.
"You drink anything today?"
"No" I quickly answered because it was the truth.
She searched my face for any lies.
Damn. She don't trust me? That's my fault though.
She leaned in and kissed me. I immediately kissed back. Oh how I've missed this girl.
After a lil bit she pulled back and pecked my lips a few times before resting her forehead against mine.
"I love you. Imma do better I promise"
"I've heard those words before diamond. Stop promising me shit you know you can't keep."
"De—
"I woulda been fine if you said you told me upfront that you didn't think you could keep them. All I wanted was for you to try. That's all."
"I'm sorry. For real. I got a question though" I said and she nodded.
"Do you see me any different. Like do you think of me differently now?"
"No. Why would I?"
"Because it's so bad that I got sent to the hospital. Maybe you—
"You got sent to the hospital? Diamond when the fuck did you get sent to the hospital?" She asked raising her voice.
"Wait I thought you knew. Nani said—
"Nani ain't tell me shit but that you were leaving"
"Oh" fuck you kanani.
"Diamond why didn't you tell me?" She asked her voice softer now.
"Are you mad?" I asked feeling tears slip.
I understand I done fucked up with everyone. But her? I just can't. This girl is literally my everything.
"Yes but at the fact that you don't tell me these things. I'm not mad or disappointed in you because this shit is hard. I get it. But please diamond you gotta tell me these things. I don't wanna hear from someone else that you were put in the hospital."
"Okay" I said just above a whisper.
"And then you're leaving. I knew you were going to eventually but I expected you to tell me when. You were gonna leave without saying goodbye. Diamond why?"
"I don't know" I said as she wiped my eyes.
"Stop leaving me in the dark just because your afraid to disappoint me. I love you okay and as long as you're trying to get better"
"But I wasn't. I made no efforts to gain control. I- it consumed me. I couldn't stop. No one heard my cries. No one heard my pleas for help. An- and now I can't control it. My body craves it. I haven't had shit today and my body feels like it's about to explode. I need help de. I want it to stop. Make it stop" I cried.
She pulled me into a hug and I cried on her chest.
"Okay. Okay baby. You're gonna get help. We're gonna get you help."
DeAsjah's POV
I held her tightly as she cried. Tears of my own fell.
I don't know what to do to help. I really don't even know what's going on.
"Hey. Look at me" I said and she sat up.
I gently griped her face.
"You're gonna be okay. You're gonna get through this. Imma be by your side the whole way okay?"
"I don't wanna leave. I don't wanna leave you" she cried.
"Imma just be a phone call away baby okay?"
I honestly think it's best if she leaves for sometime.
"I love you okay?" I said and she nodded.
"Just don't leave me" she mumbled.
"I'm not. I promise."
"Don't give up on me."
"I won't. Just don't give up on yourself"
"Too late"
My baby is broken and I don't know what to do.
A/N: this part is dedicated to a special someone😌 enjoyyyyy
Jhaniya's POV
2:00am
I'm lit as fuck right now. Jhyia is a fucking alcoholic. Girl had me drinking everything. My ass could not hang with her at all.
Oh we're in Vegas. We took another trip. Last time we just went to the beach.
But lemme tell y'all some shit. We fucking saw Jhkyla. Her ass ain't fucking dead. They lied and she's in fucking California.
Fuck her bitch ass. And Jhyia stupid ass gon throw a bowling ball at her and get us kicked out of the bowling alley.
We was lit then too. Mmcht a lotta shit done happened. I met this girl named Sevyn. She was pretty too. But her ass tried to fuck me so I shut that down quick.
Anyways now me and Jhyia are done snuck into the hote pool. Girl didn't even get in the pool. She literally fell in.
Come to think though her ass been in there forever. Mmcht lemme go save her.
I walked close to the pool and turned around.
"3....2.....0"
I fell backwards and didn't even land in the pool. My ass fell flat on my back with a loud thud.
Knocked the wind right outta me.
"Owwwww" I whined.
"Bitchhhh" I heard Jhyia slur.
Girl was pissy weak. She was laughing her ass off.
"Fuckkkk you bitchhh" I slurred.
Oh my goshhh my body hurts. How did my dumbass just miss the whole pool.
"Get uppp and her innn" Jhyia said.
"Bitch I can't fucking swim" I said sitting up by immediately laying back down cause pain shot through my back.
"Liarrr." Jhyia said.
I really can't remember if I can or can't swim. But if I can....
"Bitch im a fucking mermaid" I said to myself.
"If Puerto Rico was a planet- I mean state where would we put it?" Jhyia asked.
"Uhhh I vote South Carolina. Wack ass state."
"Righhttt it's only relevant because of North Carolina."
"Wait waittttt. How we gon move Puerto Rico?" I asked and she started laughing. I did too for some reason.
"Waittt what's funny?" I asked.
"Bitch we can't move it. It's on land dumbfuck"
"You asked the stupid question"
"I don't give a fuck about you or anything that you do" he stupid ass sung.
"Jhyia white boy carl was fine as fuck when he had his black boy stage"
"Ewwww no."
"Yesss. And ion even like PLC's"
"What's a PLC?"
"Person lacking color. Jhyia keep up"
"What imma keep up with? Yo ass ain't running?"
"Yes I am. Dumbass. How you gon tell me I'm not running when you clearly see me laying on this dumbass floor"
"Bitch I'll bite you"
"Bite me raccoon"
"You lucky this water got me stuck"
"Whatever"
A phone started ringing and I groaned.
"Bitch they done caught us. It's the police"
"Jhyia shutuppp" I said digging in my top to get my phone.
I answered because it was nylaia.
"Heyyyy babyyyyyyy" I said overly excited.
"Girl what the hell you drink"
"Water that's it. It was some strong water though. That shit burned my throat" I said scratching it.
"Oh. Well you might not remember this in the morning but—
"Hold up Lemme write it down"
"No need"
"Okay. Gon head"
"I think we should break up"
———————————————————————
Chileeeeeee okay imma stop playing with y'all frfr🤚🏾
Next year tho😎🤜🏾
Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful 😮💨