Song: Dancing after death by Matt Masson
The sound of someone talking quietly wakes me up out of my deep sleep. I keep my eyes closed, not ready to wake up yet. The mystery person talks again, and then I feel something wet touch my hand.
"Willow King!" I finally recognize the voice as Romans, "let's go, you are going to wake her up."
Willow whines softly, nudging my hand with her head, before I hear her nails tap against the floor and she moves her head away from my hand.
"Don't even think about jumping up there." Roman scolds.
A small smile makes its way onto my face at his motherly tone.
"Come on up girl." I croak out, my voice deep, and my throat incredibly dry. I slowly open my eyes and see a flash of golden fur before I feel Willow settle down next to me.
I turn my head to see Roman leaning against the doorframe, in only a pair of grey sweatpants. His whole upper body on display. My eyes take in his tattoos and his abs, before they reach his eyes. His hair is messed up from sleep, and a small smile graces his lips.
"Morning Beautiful." He makes his way over to me and sits on the edge of the bed. "Sorry for waking you up. Willow seems to really like you, and has been waiting outside the bedroom door all morning for you."
I grin as I tilt my head to look at Willow. She stares back at me, cocking her head to the side. I bring my hand up to her face, cupping it in my palm. She leans into my touch and closes her eyes for a moment.
"I already love her."
"It's not hard to love her that's for sure." I turn back to Roman, he's looking at Willow lovingly.
"No it's not." I agree.
I pull myself up into a sitting position, readjusting the pillows behind my head so that I'm not leaning against the wood headboard.
I take the chance to look around his room. The walls are a dark grey, and dark wood furniture is placed around the room. Straight in front of the bed is his dresser, a t.v placed right on top. Picture frames are hung on the walls, some of him and his family, other of friends, and pictures from boxing matches. A door is next to his dresser, which I remember seeing him go in to use the bathroom. A giant window covers the right wall.
His bed is placed in the middle of the room, small dark wood bedside tables on either side, each with a lamp on them. The bed is covered in black sheets and comforter.
And this has to be the most comfortable bed I've ever slept in.
The corner of his room has a small light grey chair, a pair of shoes littered in front of them. A wooden bookshelf is next to the chair, covered with small personal items, a few books, more pictures, and trophies from some of his wins. A door leading to what I assume is his closet is next, and right next to it is the door that leads outside.
"How you feeling?" He asks.
"I have a terrible headache, but I didn't drink to much last night so other then that I'm okay." As I talk about last night, I can't help but blush at the memory of kissing Roman. I won't deny the feelings I have for him.
I mean who wouldn't fall for him?
But if he does have feelings for me, there are some things I need him to know. And I don't want to rush into things.
"That's good." he brings his hand up and pushes a piece of hair behind my ear. His eyes flickering to my lips for a moment. "There's some water by your bed, and two advil for you to take if you want."
I visibly tense when he mentions the pills. Thoughts invade my mind and I quickly shake my head, making sure not to look at them.
8 months ago I attempted to take my life, swallowing two bottles of random pills I found in the bathroom cabinet. I've avoided taking any since then, and I know I'll eventually have to take them again, but for now I can't stand the thought.
"No. I can't." I take in a deep shaky breath. Roman looks at me, concern evident on his face. "I- there are some things I need to talk to you about. But can you please put the advil away."
"Of course." Roman doesn't hesitate to get up and throw them away. I watch as he shuffles into the bathroom. I pick up the water glass and down it all in one go.
Roman comes back in, a guilty look on his face along with confusion. He stands at the foot of the bed, not knowing where to go.
I pat the spot beside me on the bed, right next to Willow. He takes the hint and climbs into bed, moving closer to me.
I look at him, unsure on where to start. How do you tell someone that you really like that you were abused by your last boyfriend, and tried to kill yourself. How do I tell him that I'm scared of getting in another relationship?
I look down at my lap, my nails beginning to roughly scratch my forearm. I start to breathe heavier, my anxiety coming at me full force.
"Hey," Roman covers my hand with his to stop my scratching, "take your time and take nice deep breaths."
I nod my head and close my eyes. I focus on my breathing, feeling Roman run small circles on the back of my hand.
My breathing begins to normalize after a minute or two, and I open my eyes again.
"I don't really know where to start."
"You don't have to tell me everything, just the things your comfortable with me knowing." He squeezes my hand encouragingly, "you can trust me."
"Okay." I breathe out, swallowing the lump in my throat. "About a year and a half ago I got in a relationship with a guy I named Austin, that I met my senior year of college. He was a business major, and I was studying business along with photography, so we had maybe two classes together." I grip Romans hand tighter as I talk.
"Anyways, we started dating, around April of senior year. He was such a nice guy, and I quickly fell in love with him. He was everything to me, and things moved fast between us. We didn't move in right away with each other, instead we waited until we both had good jobs. I loved my job, it wasn't paying much at the time since I was just getting started. But I worked with animals and got payed to photograph them and sometimes I traveled the states to take pictures.
Austin was working at his uncles business, which had been his dream since he could remember. Don't ask me why anyone would want to sit behind a desk all day and do paperwork, but he loved it. We moved in with each other by Christmas time, and everything was going great. That is until he started to get greedy with all the money he was making. He started to spend it all on cars, and expensive watches. I tried to talk to him about how this will affect us in the long run, but he simply ignored me."
I stop my talking and close my eyes. Talking about this is very hard, especially in detail.
"Take your time love." Roman whispers, the first words he's spoken since I started talking.
"As you might have guessed, all his spending put him in debt for a lot of things. He had forgotten to pay off his college debt, and he just kept adding to it. His uncle saw what he was doing and threatened to fire him. But Austin didn't care, and he ended up getting fired. Loosing his job ruined him, he started drinking, and at the time I didn't know, but he somehow got involved with drug dealing.
He got a job at some random business, and got obsessed with the idea of me working there with him as the receptionist. I told him countless times that my job meant a lot to me." I turn toward Roman, "you know how much my job means to me?"
"Of course I do. The happiness on your face when your taking pictures is one of my favorite sights. I could watch you take photos for hours." He reassured me, kissing my temple.
"When I kept refusing, he stole my camera and sold it online for money. He kept me locked in our apartment, not letting me out unless I took the job. But I would not let myself take it." I feel tears well up in my eyes, and I blink them away. "The first time he hit me he was angry at his boss. He left a giant bruise on my cheek, but I excused his actions for him being drunk, I never thought it would become a daily thing." I can't stop the tears as they fall down my cheeks, and I hold back my sobs. I need to get this out now.
Roman wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer to him. He brushes through my hair, but doesn't say anything, letting me continue.
"He would slap, punch, and kick me for the dumbest reasons. He would throw me against the wall, and hit me with objects laying around the house. He knocked me out a multiple times, and broke my nose and fingers more than once.
It took me a year to finally realize that he wasn't going to return to his old self." I mutter the last part quietly. "Money ruins certain people, and he happened to be one of those people. January of this year, I finally had enough. When he was gone on business, and had me locked in the apartment, I found two bottles of random pills under the sink. Neither of them were all the way full. I didn't even think twice before I took them all. And only when I felt my body shut down and my head get fuzzy did I regret my decision."
Romans grip on me tightens, and I feel his jaw clench from where my head is resting underneath his.
"Apparently my parents had been trying to reach me all day, and when they couldn't they came to my apartment. They had no idea what was happening to me. I covered it all up, and Austin put on his picture perfect charm and convinced everyone we were the perfect couple." I wipe my eyes with the back of hand, and take some more deep breathes.
"I don't think they will ever forgive themselves for not knowing." I sigh, "but they broke the door down and found me on the bathroom floor barely alive. When I woke up in the hospital and told them, they didn't doubt me for a second. After a month of fighting for Austin to go to prison, they finally got enough evidence of him hurting me, as well as his drug dealing and other sketchy things he was involved with. Ultimately getting sent to prison for 46 years." I finish telling Roman what happened, and look up at him with watery eyes.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry that happened to you." He picks me up and places me on his lap. I bury my head into his neck and let my sobs out.
"You didn't deserve any of that, and if I ever see this guy he won't live to see another day." He tightens his grip on me, like he's terrified to let go. "And god, I am so sorry about the pills."
"Hey," I pull my face out of his neck to look at him, "how the hell were you supposed to know?"
"I don't know." He mumbles, pulling my head back into his neck.
"All that matters is that I'm here with you now, and I don't really plan on leaving anytime soon." I tell him.
"I don't either." I pull away to look at him, bringing my hand up to comb my fingers through his hair. "I really like you Arabelle." He tells me, looking me in the eyes.
"Me too." I feel my cheeks heat up, "but this is my first time liking someone like this since him, so I want to take it slow."
He nods his head, a smile on his lips, "one step at a time."
I interlace our hands and press a soft, quick kiss to his lips.
"One step at a time."
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WORD COUNT: 2150