These past few days have been very stressful for the fandom, but I feel we are managing well. There aren't any song lyrics in this chapter because I've been avoiding their music. It was hard to write this chapter because I keep thinking about how nothing will be the same anymore with the boys. I'm sorry, but this chapter sucks. Hopefully when my sadness passes, I'll write better chapters. I love you all so much and I'm glad that you didn't leave the fandom. <3
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I lay on my back on the bed. Harry is staring at me from across the room. I remain speechless.
Harry is standing still. His eyes are locked on me. I'm frozen. We are both silent.
Suddenly, a tear runs down Harry's cheek and crashes against the floor.
He runs out of my bedroom and slams the door behind him.
"What the hell?!" I yell, "Where are you going Harry?! Wait!"
I hear a loud crash from my living room. I jump off the bed and rush out of the room to see Harry curled up on my floor in the fetal position weeping loudly.
"What is wrong with you?!" I scream.
He's breathing heavily.
"I...I..." Harry says, "I can't do this anymore..."
I kneel next to him on the floor. I keep my distance because I'm unsure if his emotional state is stable.
"Do what? What are you talking about? Why did you throw me on the bed?"
"I...I need...help..."
"I'm right here, talk to me," I say.
"I can't lose anyone else...especially not Niall..."
"You're not going to lose Niall, I promise. He is going to be okay."
Harry unlocks himself from his fetal position and sits up on the floor and gazes at me.
"Can we go see him?" he says.
"Uh..."
Harry's face morphs into a frown.
"I forgot you don't care about Niall. Never mind, I'll go by myself."
"I stayed at that hospital for hours in the middle of the night; don't tell me I don't care about him."
"So you do care about him?" he smirks.
"I care about his well-being. That's all."
There is a brief moment of silence.
"I'm sorry Emily," he says, "for everything."
I clench my jaw and glare into his eyes with anger.
"Harry I can't deal with you anymore! I thought you were going to rape me!"
"I was just angry. I'm sorry. For everything."
"School starts in a few hours," I say, "I need at least at little sleep before I go! Can I at least get that?!"
He smiles at me.
"Can I sleep in here on the couch for a few hours? And can you drive me to campus when we wake up?"
"My car is still at the hospital. That's why I was on that bus."
"I can call a taxi," he says.
"I can't afford a taxi."
Harry's smile gets even bigger.
"Do you know who I am?!" he boasts, "Do you know who my family is?! You don't have to pay for anything with me Emily!"
"It's rude to brag," I say and roll my eyes.
"I'm not bragging. I'm just telling you the facts. I'm rich as fuck."
"Yeah, all you rich guys are assholes." I say and stand to my feet as I walk towards my bedroom.
"I'm not an asshole."
"Harry, you're literally insane! I've gone through so much shit with you I feel like my brain is going to explode!" I yell.
He stares at me in confusion.
"What shit?"
"Oh my god! You're delusional! I can't take this anymore! So much has happened in the past twenty-four hours I can't believe it! I just want to fucking sleep! Let me fucking sleep! Can you please just fuck off for two hours so I can fucking sleep?! I want to scream! Sleep on the god damn couch I don't give a fuck anymore! I'm going to sleep!"
I run into my room, Harry chases after me, and I slam the door as hard as I can in Harry's face. Harry is silent on the other side of the door, but I don't care because my patience level is so small right now.
I lock my door, close the blinds, shut off the lights, strip off all my clothes, and slide into bed. I look at the clock. It's a little after five in the morning. I have about two and a half hours until the alarm goes off to go to school.
I want to sleep forever. As much that has happened in the last day, I'm afraid to wake up in the morning. If I avoid anyone involved with Niall, then I should be fine. Except his brother is sleeping in my living room.
I sigh. I eventually drift off into sleep, afraid of what I will face tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The alarm blares into my ear and awake with the biggest frown on my face.
I don't want to get out of bed. My eyes feel like they are on fire.
I arise from my bed and stare at myself in the mirror. There is mascara and makeup smudged all over my face. There are countless bags under my eyes and my hair is a tangled mess. I have less than an hour to look somewhat presentable for school.
Shit. Harry is still here.
I take a deep breath and slowly exit my bedroom. The smell of eggs and bacon quickly comes into my nose.
I walk quickly into the kitchen to find Harry in front of my stove cooking breakfast. He's stirring eggs in a bowl as bacon is sizzling in a frying pan.
But he's only wearing underwear.
I quickly cover my eyes with my hands.
"What are you doing?!" I yell.
"Cooking a healthy morning breakfast, you need all the energy you can get for-"
"Without clothes?!"
"How else would you cook breakfast?" he says while holding the frying pan.
"Harry, please put some clothes on."
"It was so hot in here last night. And I can't sleep in those tight trousers."
"Harry, please."
"Just look at me, one time. I promise you won't regret it."
"I'm not going to look at your half-naked body," I respond.
"Come on," he begs, "I bet you've never seen a guy as hot as me shirtless before."
"Stop."
"Niall doesn't nearly have the muscles that I do."
"Weren't you the one who just accused me of cheating on Niall? Now you're going behind his back?" I say.
"Uh...I'm just trying to test you to see if you will."
"I won't. So put a shirt on."
"Do you want to see the cool tattoos on my chest and abs? I promise you'll like them."
"No thanks," I say with my hands still over my eyes, "I need you to cover up."
"How do you like your eggs?"
"Covered."
"You're very funny, Emily. You know that? Hilarious," he says.
"Thanks."
I walk over to the couch to find his trousers and his black tee-shit on the floor. I grab the clothing from the floor. It smells unusually good. The legs of the skinny jeans are so small I don't know how he fits his legs into them.
"Put these on," I say and throw the clothes at Harry.
"Can you help me put them on?"
"No!"
"Damn Emily. Can you at least show me where your salt and pepper is?"
"Yeah, sure," I say turning to face him removing my hand from my eyes.
We are now facing each other. He is squinting his eyes and smirking at me. I try to turn around but my eyes are locked on his body. His body is perfectly cut, his chest pokes out more than mine, his abs are like hills, and his biceps are gigantic. My eyes veer down his body. He's wearing tight black boxer briefs, skin tight. Except in the front of his underwear is a huge-
"Like what you see?" he laughs, "say something so I know you're breathing."
"Oh my god," I say.
"Yeah, I know it can be a lot to take in. Sometimes I can't believe how hot I am."
I finally come back to my senses and turn around then walk to the window and stare out of it.
"I don't get you Harry," I say.
"What do you mean?" he says as he places the frying pan on the stove.
"Your emotions are all over the place. More than mine."
"How so?"
"You keep switching between cute college guy, arrogant asshole, emotional wreck, sex freak, and homicidal maniac within seconds and it's scary."
"I'm sorry," he says and sits on the couch, "for everything."
"Stop saying that."
"I'm a mess Emily. After my parents died, I fell apart."
"Harry...we really need to go..."
"The taxi won't be here until 8:45."
"8:45? School starts at nine."
"Uh...yeah? It only takes five minutes to get there."
"Whatever. Let's eat," I say.
"Okay! Just give me five minutes to set the table!" he smiles and skips joyously back into the kitchen.
I look to the wall and notice a note hanging on my apartment door. I walk over to it and remove it from the door. It reads:
Hi Emily! There was this nice blonde boy who knocked on my door last night and said he needed to get into your apartment! He said he is really close to you, so I let him in using your spare key! I hope it didn't cause a problem, but he seemed like the nicest boy! Much love. --Mrs. X
Are you fucking serious?! That's how Niall got into my apartment! Mrs. Xavier let him in! Oh my god!
While sighing, I walk back to my room to get dressed. I stare at myself in the mirror for several minutes. Not even make up could cover the tiredness shown on my face. I might as well wear a bag over my head.
I finally decide on an outfit. I put the hoodie and sweatpants on and try to put concealer on my face until I hear a loud knock on my door.
"Breakfast is ready!" Harry sings, "It's going to get cold!"
"I'm coming!" I yell back.
I leave my room to find a half-naked Harry sitting on one side of my dining table.
"Please sit Emily," he says and points to the chair on the other side of the table.
I awkwardly sit at the table and stare at Harry in confusion. He's smiling like a little girl who just found out she's going to Disney World.
God this is so weird.
"You really need to do something about your mood swings Harry. I fear for you."
His smile disappears.
"Yeah, I know," he begins, "my medication is back at my dorm so I'm sorry if I'm a bit odd today."
He stares down at his plate as he twirls his fork in his scrambled eggs.
"Harry, I'm sorry," I say, "I didn't mean to offend you."
"It's okay. I'm used to it."
There is a long moment of silence.
"What do you mean Harry?"
"It's just...I...I've been criticized a lot. Since I was a wee lad."
Harry is still looking down.
"What do they say about you?"
"Well, Emily, I've always been...I don't know how to say it...uh...different..."
"What do you mean different?"
"Well...uh...I..." he mutters.
"Are...you..." I say, "are you...gay?"
"No!" he screams and jumps out of his chair, "I'm not gay! I like women! I like vagina!"
"Whoa, okay, calm down. I believe you. Just tell me why you were criticized."
He sits back down in the chair and his mood softens again.
"I have, well had I guess, severe social anxiety."
"You?! Severe social anxiety?!" I say in shock.
"Yeah. It was hard for me. I was afraid of everything. I isolated myself, but it only hurt more. I have always wanted to come out of my shell, and college was the perfect opportunity for me to do that."
"If only I could think that way," I say.
"I know it can be hard, but look at you!" Harry yells, "I just met you yesterday and we're already having breakfast together!"
"That's because you wouldn't leave."
"You don't enjoy my company?!" he says as his mouth drops open.
"Harry, I have one question before we go," I say.
"Okay, go on."
"I got a text from Niall in the middle of the day yesterday, while he was with you, and he told me something terrible had happened and he couldn't make it to work. What happened?"
"Uh...uh...nothing...um...nothing happened. It's all good. Don't worry about it. Nothing. It's nothing. It's really nothing. It's-"
"Harry! Stop keeping secrets from me!" I yell.
"No one has hid anything from you Emily."
"You're a fucking liar!"
"Why would I have any reason to lie to you?" he smiles.
My heart stops. That's what everyone has been telling me. My head is spinning. I can't think straight anymore. I don't even know who to trust. Everything is so uncertain.
"Harry, the taxi will be here any minute."
"Okay, let me put some clothes on."
"Please."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harry and I are in a taxi driving down the city streets as the sun has just risen. I roll down the window and stick my nose out to smell the fresh air outside instead of the musty smell in this taxi.
Harry places his hand on my shoulder and I turn around.
"We're almost there babe," he says.
"Don't call me babe," I say as I push his hand off of me.
"What's got you on edge?"
"These past few days have had more drama than I've ever had in my entire. I just need to relax. Okay? Is that too much to ask for?"
"Understood."
We ride in the car for several more minutes. The sun has now risen over the trees and it is shining down over the road heating the concrete and the window of the taxi.
"We're here," the driver says, "at the University."
I attempt to pay half of the money owed to the taxi driver, but I fail as Harry gives the man more than enough money for both the bill and tip.
"I said you don't have to pay anything with me Emily," Harry says.
"Don't be obnoxious."
"Whatever," he laughs.
We exit the taxi emerge onto the sidewalk. I start to walk away from Harry on my way to my first class.
"I'll see you later Harry," I say.
"Okay, bye. I'll see you in American Literature."
"Bye," I say as I turn away from him and walk in the opposite direction. I keep looking back until Harry leaves my sight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I have to know. I have to know what's going on. I've been so confused. I need answers.
I stole Harry's phone. He didn't even notice that I grabbed it off of the taxi seat before we left. I was so scared he would realize, but he didn't.
I run over to a building and sit against the wall on an uninhabited side.
I pull Harry's phone out of my book bag. I spied when Harry unlocked his phone, so I know his password. I immediately unlock his phone and go to messages.
I'm so scared. I don't know what I'm going to see, but I can't wait any longer. I click the message box that says Niall. Shaking nervously, I scroll to the top of the messages that start from yesterday and read:
Harry: *I left my notebook in the dorm. Are you in there? I don't know if I have my key.*
Niall: *ok but ive got a girl in here.*
Harry: *Who?*
Niall: *her name is emily dont know her last name*
Harry: *Are you having sex with her?*
Niall: *tryin*
Harry: *Did you try the virgin trick?*
Niall: *not yet the time isnt right but i will*
Harry: *Okay, well I'm on my way.*
Niall: *when u get here make sure u say something like 'oh niall never has sex with girls i was shocked when i saw a tie on the door'*
Harry: *I've said that a million times for you before.*
Niall: *ya i know pls do it again. thanks bro*
Harry: *Anytime.*
Niall: *also dont tell melissa about this*
Harry: *Of course.*
Niall: *i dont need my girlfriend knowin im doing this*