25/11/20
Wednesday
3:05am
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The pure black of the night warms me, as though it was hugging me in this cold. Waking up to this feeling makes my heart comfortable, releasing my stress and anxiety of this world. Thinking that it was already morning, I rubbed my eyes and sat up, and was enveloped with blackness.
Huh? Isn't it morning?
Grabbing my phone from the small cupboard beside the bed, I quickly check the time and frown. It was morning but only three. Blinking in bewilderment, I look around, trying to figure what woke me up.
I gasped softly to myself, putting a hand on my mouth.
Was it the murderers?? No- it can't be. If it was the murderers, I'm sure I'll be dead right now as the murderers probably prefer to kill people before they wake up.
If it wasn't the murderers, then what wake me up??
Shivering in the cold, I wrapped my arms around me to try to warm myself as I continue looking around. Beside me, Jungkook shuffled uncomfortably and I realize his back was facing towards me for the first time.
Hm... maybe it was him who had woke me up?
Turning towards him, I placed a hand on his forearm and leaned in to look at his face. His eyes were slightly covered with his messy hair, and his other hand was on his hard face, as though he was frustrated at something. I feel like something was wrong as he was shuffling a lot under my hand and also sniffling a lot. There were beads of sweat on his face and I place a hand on his forehead to see if he was sick. Luckily, he wasn't but I was still worried.
Removing his hand from his face, I moved some of the hair away with a finger and realize he was crying, a hell lot. The corners of his mouth was pulled down and he was potentially pouting his lips. My heart begin to stop as I saw him like this. Watching him anxiously, I begin shaking him as I didn't know what to do to stop him from crying.
"Wake up, Jungkook!" I said, trying to keep my voice down as the others might be light sleepers.
"Jungkook, please wake up and get out of that nightmare!" I continued, as I'm assuming he's currently suffering from one.
I vigorously shook him and despite my weak attempts, it still doesn't work but I didn't give up. I knew that he was a heavy sleeper- well maybe since he's not affected by my pleads and my constant shaking.
"Jungkook- please, wake up... or I'll call your dad," I murmured, and I knew that I was lying as I didn't dare to call him in the middle of the night. "I'm just joking- please wake up. You're making me worried." I said quietly, pouting sadly seeing him like this.
He suddenly sat up, making me flinch and I move away, staring at him curiously. He was breathing steadily, as though he was trying to control his breathing. He didn't seem to notice me but was staring straight ahead, as though he was contemplating life decisions after what he had seen.
"Jungkook?" I pronounced his name and he turned to look at me, his face trembling in fear. "What's wrong?" I asked anxiously as he wrapped his arms around me and place his face on my shoulder. He begin sobbing quietly and I wasn't sure how to react. I place a hand on his back and caress it while stroking his hair like he was a baby.
His tears were starting to soak my shirt but I didn't mind as I knew this state of him needed comfort and love. "Tell me, what's wrong? It can't be solved by crying." I murmured, hugging him close to me as he might have a nightmare of being alone.
Leaving my shoulder, he avoid looking at me and sniffed, letting his head drop. His arms still tightened hard around my waist, as though he didn't want me to leave him. I place myself onto his lap and wrap my legs around his waist while passing my arms around his neck. "Jungkook?" I started and he sniffed.
"I dreamt of Taehyung." He mumbled between tears that slowly welled up in his eyes. "He..." Jungkook inhaled loudly as he tried not to burst into tears again. I pat him on the back to calm him down and he pouted. "I dreamt of him dying." He started shaking his head uncontrollably, trying to control his tears.
I was shocked by what he dreamt, as it wasn't something easy to deal with, especially with Taehyung under their captive.
"I don't want to make the same mistake like I did with my mother ever again... why does this always happen to me?"
"Jungkook is not your fault that your mother died. You didn't want that to happen did you?" I asked and he nodded, sniffling like a little kid. "If the same thing happens to Taehyung, don't just blame it on yourself. That's a huge burden to deal with. Instead, all of us will blame ourselves for not taking care of him good enough, okay?"
"But, I'm the group leader. I should take responsibility for whoever's hurt." He said, and I disagree by shaking my head.
"No, just because you're the group leader, doesn't mean you should hold that many burdens. All of us are part of this together. You're not alone, all of us are going to have the same feelings eventually." I said, and Jungkook scrunches his nose sadly.
"Jungkook," I said, tilting my head. "Look at me."
He obeyed and drifted his gaze to look at me. His eyes were misty and if it wasn't dark, his face would be tomato red. I dried his face from the tears with my thumbs and gave him a small peck on his hot cheek. I would be blushing by now since I was the shy type.
He raises his eyebrows in surprise and I saw his eyes sparkling. I was glad I change his mood just in a few seconds and he leaned in to peck my lips. Passing him a reassuring smile, I raised a hand and poke his nose. "I'm here for you okay? Go to sleep, is only three in the night."
He nodded and gave me another peck. Releasing me from his lap, I place myself on the side of the bed as I watch him slump down onto the bed. He gestured me to lie down beside him with a hand, and I did, pulling the blanket over us. The softness and the sense of rest of the bed had brought us into peace and I smile happily when he put his arms around me.
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6:45am
I haven't been sleeping for three hours and more and I'm currently sleep deprived. I feel quite fatigued, despite laying on the bed and not doing anything but staring at the ceiling. Jungkook still had his arms around me and I didn't mind. He was snoring softly away and I was glad that he's been able to sleep from the horrible nightmare he had to experience.
To be honest, that had led me to not sleep. I did try to sleep by closing my eyes, or counting sheep, you know, those cliché things. But seriously, who does maths to try to sleep? It sounds ironic as is something I've never done.
Maths is stress and stress is maths. So, there's no way I'm using numbers to try to sleep. Either way, stress is the archenemy of beauty after all.
I don't know what I just had said but anyways, moving on, what Jungkook had told me had taken a toll on me. Like, I get is just a nightmare but I'm a bit anxious.
Taehyung is already someone special in my heart, the incident when he talked to me after Jungkook was being an ass. So, I'm not looking forward for his death- I don't think anyone is. He's reasonably precious and personally, I like him, as a brother.
From now on, I'm going to work hard to solve that riddle and save him. Is for our own good, especially Jungkook's as I don't want to have him deal with the same thing, like he did with his mother.
The truth is, I don't think Jungkook has been taking Taehyung's missing news well... he haven't been smiling a lot and I get that it had only been a day and that is just a coincidence because is Taehyung, and he's precious. But, I can't help myself but get worried when someone's not being themselves.
I should probably try to get some sleep now... is not worth overthinking in the night is it?
But, it is what it is.
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Thank you for reading <3
~Xin