I sigh after a long day at work. We've been overloaded with orders at the bakery. Today Randy was supposed to ice a bath of vanilla cupcakes with blue icing, and then a red velvet batch with a cream cheese frosting. Well, he got them switched, so we had to start all over again. I'm not sure why Ms. Marcy keeps him around because he always messes things up.
I finished editing one of my videos. I lean back in my chair. I have a heavy feeling in my chest from emotions rising up. I really don't want to be here right now. I just want to go somewhere. Anywhere.
I grab my keys and walk out of my apartment. I glance at Clay's door as I walk past. We haven't hung out outside of chatting in the mail room since movie night a week ago. In fact, I haven't had much in person interaction since then either.
And I really don't want to be alone right now.
I take a risk and knock on his door. He answers pretty quickly in all his glory..
"Hey, do you want to go for a drive?" I ask before he can say anything.
"Sure," he says without hesitation. He invites me in while he grabs some shoes.
He leaves his bedroom door open while he grabs them, but I stay firmly in the kitchen. I notice his room shares a wall with where my PC is on the other side. I really hope I'm quiet when I'm streaming.
"Are we going anywhere in particular?" he asks from his room.
"Nope just driving to drive." I say as I look at the closed door. What could he be hiding? All the other doors are wide open.
"Sounds great."
We hope in my car. I offer him aux, but declines. I put on my playlist and started to drive.
"Y'know, you accepted my offer very quickly. What if I was a murderer or something?" I ask him as I turn onto the interstate.
"Then I might die tonight. That makes it more adventurous." He chuckles a little.
I laugh. "Maybe I'll spare you this time, but watch out." I put my fist up a little bit.
Heatwaves turned on the radio and I skipped it. I haven't been able to listen to that song without thinking of dreamnotfound. I have nothing against dreamnotfound, of course. I just really don't want to be thinking of Dream while I'm with Clay.
"Oh come on now," he says with a chuckle, "that was a great song."
"Sorry," I smile. If only he knew what two people I was thinking of when I heard that song. He'd laugh at me so much.
"Don't like that song?" Clay asks.
"I have nothing against it. It just makes me think of something that I don't want to think about right now." I shrug.
"It's not my top choice either depending on the day."
I nod, turning the next song up and singing along. Clay joins me after a couple songs.
We don't talk besides saying that a song is a good one. He occasionally adds certain songs to the playlist because he'll think I'll like them. We're just driving and jamming.
"I WANNA SEE SOME ASS" We both scream. I laugh as we sing, thinking that Sapnap would be so proud of me for knowing the song he showed me.
"BABY CAN YOU DO IT LIKE THAT"
We scream/sing the entire song. The next song that comes on is 'change my clothes'.
I let it play. I know I said I don't want to think about Dream right now, but I like Alec Benjamin. Plus, the song isn't bad at all.
I sing along to Dream's part. "But if I never step outside.. Of my comfort zone here in my home"
"You know this song?" Clay asks with a hint of surprise in his voice.
"Yeah, I've been listening to Alec for years. Dream's a minecraft youtuber, I think." I add the 'I think' for some reason. Maybe to ensure he won't figure out my identity.
"Yeah, I love Alec Benjamin. I just didn't know you did." he shrugs as he nods along to the chorus.
"Oh yeah, for sure. This song's really good, too." I start to sing along again.
He smiles at me while I sing. "What?" I ask.
"Nothing. I just think you're really cute, y/n." He says.
My face turns into a fiery mess. "Oh, thank you."
"Thanks for asking me to come," he says as he turns to face the road, "you have no idea how much I needed to get out of that apartment."
I sigh, feeling more aware of the pit in my stomach. "Yeah, of course. I really didn't want to be alone tonight. I thought it could be fun."
"It really was," he nods in agreement.
It's quiet as we continue the drive. Once the song is over, I turn the music down a little.
Clay is one of the only people who knows about my dad. Maybe he can help me get this weight off my chest. I mean, I'm having fun while singing, but the whole time I had a pit in my stomach.
I don't talk until we're halfway through the next song.
"My dad died three years ago today." I say quietly, holding back tears. It feels good to let it go finally. I already feel relieved.
"Oh, I'm sorry, y/n. Do you want to go home?" he asks in a gentle voice.
"No, usually I want to stay home and do absolutely nothing, but this year I felt different. I wanted to be anywhere but home." My voice cracks a little as I speak.
"Well, we can stay out as long as you like." He reaches over and touches one of my hands to comfort me.
"Thank you," I sniff. We're quiet for a couple minutes before I speak again. "I just feel like I'm finally accepting that he's gone, and that scares me. What if I forget about him, Clay? Now that it's not a rock in my chest every second of every day of my life? I can't forget him, Clay."
"You are not going to forget about him, okay? He's forever going to be your dad, and you'll never forget that. You'll think of him with so many little things in your life. Like poker, remember how you told me that he always loved to play poker?"
I smile at the fact that he remembered. "He really did. Lost a lot of money doing that."
He smiles a little too. "Y/N, your dad sounded like an amazing person."
"He was. Y'know, I don't even know the last thing I said to him?" I ask him as I turn the volume down even more. "It was in the hospital. I just.. I shut down while I was there. I might've said one thing to him, and I don't even remember it." I wipe a tear from my face. "I shut down for weeks after he died, just thinking of everything that could've gone differently."
He sits and listens to me as I ramble.
"We didn't have the best doctors. We couldn't afford that. I dropped out of college and got a job, but it wasn't enough. He was so mad at that. 'y/n, school is important. We will figure my medical bills out' is what he would say. If only he could see me now. I could pay for a pretty decent doctor for him now. I really could."
I realized after I said it that I slipped up a little bit. Clay knows I couldn't possibly make that much money from the bakery, but he doesn't ask about it.
"I just really miss him is all." I finally say.
"I'm so sorry you had to go through that, y/n. I wish I could take some of your pain away, I really do."
"It's all good. I just needed to let that out. Sorry for the mental breakdown right there."
"Don't apologize for that. You needed to let it out. I'm glad you had someone there for you."
"Thank you for being that someone."
We rode back in silence. He lets me think through some things.
We walk up to our apartments. "Thanks again," I say as we reach my door.
"Anytime, do you-" his phone starts to ring, "ugh,"
"What's wrong?" I laugh a little at the way he said 'ugh'.
"I have to take this, ugh, I'm sorry." I laugh at the way he said it again. He steps away for a moment. Holding up his finger to say it'll only be a minute.
"Hi what's up?" he says.
He waits for a moment. "Okay, give me a little bit of time. I'll join in a bit."
The other person talks again. "No, Qu-, no, I'm not."
"No, shut up or I'm not coming at all."
"Okay bye,"
He turns to me. "Sorry."
I laugh. "Do you have somewhere to be?"
"No, not really. Do you want to hang out some more?" he asks.
I really want to say yes, but I don't want to seem too needy to have someone to talk to. "No, I think I'm just going to get in my pajamas and do nothing the rest of the night." I laugh at how silly that sounds.
He chuckles. "Okay, call me if you need anything."
I nod before saying goodbye.
I check my discord once I've changed into my sweats. I see a notification from Quackity.
QuackityHQ
Quackity:
Hey I'm streaming if you want to join at any time tonight!
Storm:
Sounds fun! Give me like five minutes!
I turn my PC on to join. It took less than five minutes.
"Hey guys!" I say as I join, hoping they're not being super crazy tonight. I'm not feeling totally with it today.
"Hey Storm! We're making a song with chat!" Quackity say.
"Oh okay cool,"
They continue the stream for five minutes before Dream arrives. Not the person I wanted to see, but I'll have to live with it.
"Where were you Dream? You sounded busy before?" George asks.
"Are you jealous, George?" I ask him.
"No, I'm just curious."
"I had just gotten home. I needed to eat something first." He says.
"Where were you though." Quackity joins in.
"Just in the car. Drop it guys." Dream sounds a little pissed.
Usually I'd say that he's annoying for just not going with the bit, but today I have sympathy for him. I know it can be hard to go through something then have to show up to stream. It can be really hard, especially when you don't put your whole life on the internet.
The boys drop it and continue the song. I think the viewers can see that Dream and I are both not entirely with it.
After the stream, I scroll through twitter.
Dream @dreamwastaken
Today I donated to cancer research. I have a lot of empathy for those who have been affected by cancer, whether that is patients or loved ones. Please give your friends and family a big hug for me today <3
What a crazy coincidence. I don't reply to the tweet, but I go straight to his dms.
Dream
Storm:
Thank you so much for donating to cancer research. As someone who has lost a loved one from cancer, it truly means a lot.
Dreamwastaken:
I'm so sorry for your loss. I have many friends who have to go through so much because of it. I really want to help those who are affected.
I smile at the messages. Maybe I should give him a chance. He seems like a good person.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
that chapter was really hard to write ngl.. i hope you guys are enjoying the story so far!
have a good day <3
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