A/N: Hey Hi! Chapters will continue to be sparse for a while. Sorry about that!
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You're walking silently with Satan back to the House of Lamentation, with your shift ending about 20 minutes ago.
Unfortunately, you had to close alone because everyone suddenly had to leave. And since you're the new employee, everyone just put their bitch work on you. Elenore couldn't help you either since her shift ends one hour before yours.
It was ass.
Your only saving grace was that HoL was only about five minutes away.
"Well, don't you look miserable," Satan mutters.
"I had to close alone, so that's why I took a while to call you," You explain, "I had to make everything nice and pretty for the morning people."
"Those bastards."
"Right?" You stretch your arms above your head, "How's everyone back at the House of Lamentation?"
Satan snorts, "Today is Levi's karaoke night. He's been singing anime opening songs for an hour now. I'm sure he'll be singing when we get back."
You beam, "Let's join him! It'll be so much fun!"
Satan sighs, "Even though you know he has a weird obsession over you, you still treat him normally and with unwavering kindness. I have no idea if I should be repulsed by that or not."
You frown, looking away in thought. It's not like you can just say "well it's because I'm a fictional character from an anime". And you're just going to come off as annoying if you claim yourself to be dIfFeReNt FrOm OtHeR gIrLs.
But anyway, why should your kindness be considered revolting? Is it a demon thing?
"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way," That's what you settled on, "I'm not bothered by it because Levi treats me kindly as if I'm his best friend. His "obsession", as you like to call it, is not hurting anyone. And it's certainly not hurting me, so I couldn't care less."
Satan doesn't say anything, probably thinking about what you just said. Either way...
"And anyway, it's not fair to talk about someone when they're not here to defend themselves."
"Well, aren't you just a perfect little human?" Satan muses.
"I'm not trying to be perfect, I'm just trying not to be an asshole," You frown, "Seriously, what's so surprising about wanting to be nice to people?"
"We're demons, [Y/n]."
"Okay, and??"
"You're so strange..."
??? What was the reason???
You roll your eyes and look ahead, focus on just getting back to the HoL. You see a few demons walking as well. On your side of the sidewalk two male demons were talking to each other about whatever guys talk about. They both look at you and Satan as they head your way.
You smiled at them to be polite before you were going to pass by them, but one of them thought it was an invitation for something else.
One of the demon grins as he slows to a stop, "Hey, babe. Who's your daddy?"
Satan was about to end this man's entire existence, but you weren't going to let that happen just yet.
You stop right in front of him and smirk smugly, "Oh? Who's your daddy?"
"I..." The demon bursts into tears, "don't knowwww!"
Oh shit.
Satan grabs your hand and drags you away. The other demon pats his sobbing friend on the back, waving to you with an apologetic expression.
"And that's why we don't talk to strangers, [Y/n]."
——
"You know, I actually have a black belt," You grin as you walk up the stairs.
Satan was right by your side, "In karate, I assume?"
"Nah, from Gucci." You bite your bottom lip, squint your eyes, and raise your eyebrows.
"I don't like these little talks we have."
"Don't be a baby-"
"-[Y/n]! You're back!"
Leviathan slammed his door open to poke his head out, a wide grin was adoring his face.
"Sup, Levi?"
"You wanna do karaoke with me??"
You clap your hands together, "Yes! Just let me put my stuff away real quick."
Then, a room next to Leviathan's opens up, and you Beelzebub comes out with a confused experience. Though, when he sees it's just you and your gaggle of pals, he smiles.
You give Beelzebub your signal, "I'm back! You wanna join us for karaoke night, Baby Beel?"
Beelzebub tilts his head, "Okay."
"Awesome!" You walk to your door with a grin, "Levi, you might wanna... ah, clean your room?"
Leviathan looks confused for a moment before gaining a look of realization on his face. He throws out a quick agreement before going back in his room, slamming the door shut behind him.
Satan and Beelzebub follow you into your room; you don't mind it though, since misery loves company. You smile fondly at the sight of a Little Akaza sleeping on your bed.
It seems he's using Akaza's pink vest to lay on.
You almost want to take it away from him; admittedly, you want to be the only person who can touch/use it.
That goes for Gerik and Miku' haori, your sword, and the gifts you received from the Butterfly Girls.
Just this once, though, you'll let it slide.
...
Actually, no.
You strut up to your bed with a smile, "Pst, Little Akaza. I'm back!"
————
Ah, Fridays, easily one of the days of the week.
Actually, today was kind of ass.
You're so fucking tired. This new schedule you have with Diavolo and Solomon is not bussin', and you're barely getting 5 hours of sleep the days you're patrolling. Absolutely nothing has happened during those patrols, so you always return to HoL unsatisfied.
You're lying in bed with Little Akaza, ignoring the knocking at your door. You might just ask Lucifer to stay home to sleep, what's one day of absence?
"You know," You say quietly, "I'm really fucking sarcastic for someone who's about to start crying most of the time."
Little Akaza hums quietly, it almost feels like he's purring.
"[Y/n]...?" Satan's muffled voice calls from the other side, "Are you awake?"
You sigh through your nose and hug Little Akaza a bit tighter, hoping the devil who came knocking at your door will leave you alone so you can sleep.
Unfortunately, no one in this damn house understands privacy, so Satan comes in anyway. The blonde huffs at the sight before him, putting his sassy hands on his sassy hips.
"You're not even out of bed?" The Avatar of Wrath makes his way to your bedside, sitting at the foot of your bed, "What's the matter? We're gonna have to skip breakfast if you don't get up now."
"Can I stay home today?" You ask while burying yourself and Akaza deeper under the covers, "I'm so fucking lethargic, I might pass out during class if I go."
Satan isn't upset with you for not wanting to go. After all, he knows about your horrible schedule. You told him it couldn't be helped since you need the Grimm, and your business during those certain days you're off with Diavolo and Solomon can not be put off.
Satan wouldn't mind so much as helping you with Grimm, but you're very persistent to make your own earnings. He admires your determination, but he really wishes you had a better way to manage your time.
"Missing one day can put you behind in class, RAD is a tough school," Satan pats your leg, "I can make notes for your classes today like usual, but you know how difficult it'll be to learn the material if you're not there."
You almost start to cry, "I know... ugh. Alright, I'll get up."
"...No, no, you should stay." The blonde smiles softly and almost teasingly, "You got this miserable look in your eyes-"
"-Gee, thanks."
"-I'd feel bad seeing you moping around school all day. Take your well deserved rest, okay?"
You actually start to tear up this time: "Thank you."
"Mhm."
"I love you."
"...Eh?"
Little Akaza glares at Satan with a cold gaze, but Satan wasn't paying attention to him to notice it.
"Not like that, you doink," You snort, patting Little Akaza, "I love you, but like, platonically."
"And, I hate you, but like, romantically?"
"Yeah, now you get it."
————
Satan should've stayed home with you. He already got used to you being by his side so now he's just really fucking bored.
If being titled the Avatar of Wrath didn't keep demons away all day, certainly his sour expression did.
All day he's just been sulking and moping like someone just killed his cat. It got so bad, that Mammon, Yuki, and Beelzebub were being affected by it during lunch.
So bad that Beelzebub lost his appetite.
Beelzebub had a little pout as he stared longingly at his sad sandwiches stacked on his plate. They were all watching Satan angrily drink his free carton milk provided by the school.
As the eldest brother (at the table), Mammon decided to poke the bull.
"Um..." Mammon clears his throat, "You alright, Satan?"
The blonde scoffs, "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Do you miss your Emotional Support Human™?" Yuki asks sincerely.
"Wha-Don't be ridiculous."
"Yeah, he definitely misses her."
"Don't push it, Beel."
Yuki smiles softly, "Aw, I think it's kinda cute!"
"Hey!" Satan glares, trying to push away the heat rising to his face, "Don't think you-"
"-Did you hear what happened to Solomon?" A random student gushes as he walks by the table with his friend, "Lord Diavolo personally pulled him away from class before lunch. He said it was an emergency."
"What? No way!" The friend gasps as she widens her eyes, "Do you think Solomon got in trouble?"
"I don't..."
They've walked too far from the boys to hear.
"So, that's why Solomon isn't here..." Yuki mutters.
"It must've been pretty serious if Lord Diavolo retrieved him personally," Satan frowns, "I wonder why..."
Yuki smiles in an attempt to ease the concern, "Well, I'm sure they're okay."
——
"MOTHER FUCKER!!"
"OH, MY GOD!! THAT'S SO GROSS!!"
"I HATE MAN-EATING DEMONS!!"
At that exact moment, you, Solomon, and Diavolo we're not okay.
——
"Yeah... Yeah..." Satan sighs, "Damn, what's gotten into me?"
"Maybe you just miss [Y/n]," Beelzebub guessed as he picked up his sandwiches, "I've never seen you get so close to somebody so quickly, you probably just got attached to her without realizing."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"..."
The blonde scrunches up his nose, "What is this? Psychoanalyze Satan Day?"
Anyway, the Author is sure you're wondering what fuckass adventure you're currently dying on, so she'll get back to you now.
————
"MOTHER FUCKER!!"
"OH, MY GOD!! THAT'S SO GROSS!!"
"I HATE MAN-EATING DEMONS!!"
At that exact moment, you, Solomon, and Diavolo we're not okay.
The reason? Remember those demons (we're calling them monsters again for the sake of distinction) Tanjiro encountered while he met Tamayo and Yushiro? The monsters who used the handballs and the one with the fucking eyes on his palms?
Well, you were dealing with Yahaba: the monster with eyes on his palms.
Apparently it was Barbatos who had the foreboding sense that something was amiss. He told Diavolo to get Solomon from class, while Barbatos more or less showed up unannounced in your room telling you to get the fuck up. Barbatos directed you all towards the scene and lo and behold, there was Yahaba feasting on a female demon.
Barbatos quickly rescued the demon while you three kept Yahaba occupied.
What's worse was that you couldn't even see the arrows like Solomon and Diavolo could, so you kept getting gut-punched and sent flying thanks to the Blood Demon Art.
"GUH!!"
Just like now.
You desperately claw at the concrete before inevitably flying upwards, losing your grip on your sword and watch helplessly as it clatters against the ground.
"SON OF A BITTCHHHHH!!!"
Solomon balks at your retreating form, "[Y/N]!!"
"GET THE SWORD!!"
Solomon quickly directs his gaze to your nirichin blade. He runs towards it and swoops it up into his hands before narrowly dodging an arrow headed towards him.
"DON'T YOU D-AH!!" You stop mid-air then are forced to fly to the left, "DON'T BREAK IT, SOLOMON!"
"Solomon!"
The human with the mixed blue-brown eyes looks at Diavolo who had called out to him.
"I'll create an opening for you to decapitate the demon."
Solomon's witty and confident facade slips for a moment: "Eh?! I don't know how to use a katana!"
"THE POSITION OF THE BLA-ACK!!" You get helplessly tossed in another direction, "THE BLADE AND THE FORCE APPLIIIED HAS TO BE THE EXACT SAAAAME!!"
Solomon audibly gulps as he and Diavolo are forced to move to avoid the Blood Demon Art.
Okay! How hard could decapitating a monster be?
[Spoilers: He broke your blade in two on the first swing.]