Kiss My Sass [Books 1 & 2]

By Puppy1899

207K 15.5K 5.5K

Featured in YARomance's 'Love-Hate' reading list as of 01/24/2022 Featured in TeenFiction's 'Funny Bones' rea... More

[book 1] chapter one: an introduction of sorts
[book 1] chapter two: new neighbour
[book 1] chapter three: my neighbour steals my chocolate milk
[book 1] chapter four: drunken dani
[book 1] chapter five: i commit a felony
[book 1] chapter six: i commit another felony
[book 1] chapter seven: the car ride of death
[book 1] chapter eight: study buddy from hell
[book 1] chapter nine: my twin gets in a fight
[book 1] chapter ten: i bunk with a psychopath
[book 1] chapter eleven: test time
[book 1] chapter twelve: semi-finals
[book 1] chapter thirteen: my window gets smashed
[book 1] chapter fourteen: confessions & revelations
[book 1] chapter fifteen: i'm officially an idiot
[book 1] chapter sixteen: kisses & awkward situations
[book 1] chapter seventeen: the cold shoulder
[book 1] chapter eighteen: so it begins
[book 1] chapter nineteen: the real james hastings
[book 1] chapter twenty: blast from the past
[book 1] chapter twenty-one: i unload my baggage
[book 1] chapter twenty-two: the search for my father
[book 1] chapter twenty-three: the ugly truth
[book 1] chapter twenty-four: the untold story of cade
[book 1] chapter twenty-five: field trip to penbrooke
[book 1] chapter twenty-six: niko's dirty little secret
[book 1] chapter twenty-seven: the birds & the bees
[book 1] chapter twenty-eight: ignorance is bliss
[book 1] chapter twenty-nine: i'm dating a liar
[book 1] chapter thirty: the other new neighbour
[book 1] chapter thirty-one: my mom ruins my relationship
[book 1] chapter thirty-two: finals
[book 1] chapter thirty-three: i commit my third felony
[book 1] chapter thirty-four: stitches & broken hearts
[book 1] chapter thirty-five: breakups & makeups
[book 1] chapter thirty-six: election day
SEQUEL?!
[book 2] chapter one: welcome back
[book 2] chapter two: i become a convicted felon
[book 2] chapter three: ain't no party like a parker party
[book 2] chapter four: oh, niko
[book 2] chapter five: the end of the summer solstice
[book 2] chapter six: nothing rarer than a blissful dani
[book 2] chapter seven: we meet the future mrs. parker
[book 2] chapter eight: i get a mashed potato facial
[book 2] chapter nine: late-night rendezvous
[book 2] chapter ten: off to penbrooke
[book 2] chapter eleven: the curious case of leila
[book 2] chapter thirteen: dani parker, city councillor
[book 2] chapter fourteen: i make a fool of myself
[book 2] chapter fifteen: ring the bell, it's time for wedding planning hell
[book 2] chapter sixteen: nothing like some sisterly advice
[book 2] chapter seventeen: the boneheaded boys have a brawl
[book 2] chapter eighteen: dinner disaster
[book 2] chapter nineteen: just desserts
[book 2] chapter twenty: secrets
[book 2] chapter twenty-one: blackout
[book 2] chapter twenty-two: truth or dare
[book 2] chapter twenty-three: the aftermath
[book 2] chapter twenty-four: alex becomes a smitten kitten
[book 2] chapter twenty-five: literal heartache
[book 2] chapter twenty-six: sleepover with holden
[book 2] chapter twenty-seven: pre-rehearsal dinner mayhem
[book 2] chapter twenty-eight: the rehearsal dinner
[book 2] chapter twenty-nine: betrayal
[book 2] chapter thirty: nothing but the truth
[book 2] chapter thirty-one: the sting of a friendship breakup
[book 2] chapter thirty-two: my boyfriend meets my dad
[book 2] chapter thirty-three: alex and i share a secret
[book 2] chapter thirty-four: i become the most hated parker
[book 2] chapter thirty-five: my tires get slashed
[book 2] chapter thirty-six: when opportunity knocks
[book 2] chapter thirty-seven: i rescue two drunkards
[book 2] chapter thirty-eight: brenton's dirty little secret
[book 2] chapter thirty-nine: holden gives relationship advice
[book 2] chapter forty: no ship like friendship
[book 2] chapter forty-one: our favourite narc pays a visit
[book 2] chapter forty-two: the bachelor(ette) party
[book 2] chapter forty-three: mistakes and regrets
[book 2] chapter forty-four: old habits
[book 2] chapter forty-five: a new proposition

[book 2] chapter twelve: we meet the future mrs. parker...again

296 40 12
By Puppy1899

"THEN SHE TOOK my seat. Can you believe that? She took my seat," I fumed.

"What's the matter? It's only a chair."

"But it's my chair!"

He placed his hand over mine to calm me down. "Dani, it's nothing worth getting worked up over."

I swiped my hand out of his grasp. "You don't understand. She was trying to spite me."

"Come on, you'll get over it," he said. "Aren't you two best friends?"

"That's Amber," I corrected. "I'm talking about Leila. Do you even pay attention?"

"I'm sorry," he said exasperatedly. "I hardly see you and every time I do, you bring up so many different people it's hard for me to keep up."

I leaned back in the car seat and exhaled. "I wish we didn't have to keep this a secret."

"We don't have to."

I instantly sat up straight. "Yes, we do. I would be skinned alive if anyone found out."

"Fine." He was quiet for a moment. "Why are you so threatened over this girl?"

"What, I... w-what do you mean?" I sputtered, flabbergasted by his question. "Didn't you hear what I said? James and Leila dated. He clearly hasn't been honest with me."

"You haven't been honest with him either," he pointed out. "Unless, of course, you told him about us, though judging by that look on your face I doubt it."

I scowled at him. "Whose side are you on?"

He chuckled. "I'm sorry. I only tease you because I love you."

"I'm totally feeling the love," I murmured. My eyes glazed over the clock in the car, and I realized it was time for me to leave. "It's getting late, I should go home." I didn't wait for him to say anything and I slipped out of the car and walked back to the house.

Carefully, I crept inside and went to the kitchen to get myself a glass of water. Somebody else must have had the same idea because the kitchen lights flicked on as soon as I stepped inside. I tried to leave but I knew I had been seen and it was too late. I turned around, expecting to get an earful from my mom. What I wasn't expecting was to be face-to-face with Holden.

"Where'd you come back from?" he questioned, an empty glass in his hand.

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently.

He snorted at my fake naivety. "Don't pull that crap, why were you outside?"

"I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk," I answered robotically.

"Do you always sleep in dresses?"

I was about to ask what he meant until I glanced down and realized I was still wearing my outfit from dinner. "Whatever," I dismissed, fresh out of excuses. "Why are you even in my house?"

"I'm sleeping over. Why are you dodging my question?"

I rolled my eyes. "Goodnight, Rollins."

He grabbed my arm before I could leave, and when I turned around I almost collided with his chest. Did I mention he apparently slept shirtless? My eyes flickered from his toned torso up to his face and back down to his torso. I looked up at him again to see he was staring down at me. I involuntarily gulped, but before he could say anything I took a step back.

"Goodnight," I repeated, my voice hoarse. I practically sprinted up to my room, shutting the door behind me and resting my back against it as I let out a breath. What the hell was that?

~*~

The next morning after Holden had left, Alex and I caught Brenton and Mom bright and early. While I tricked my twin into thinking I made him breakfast, Alex pretended to have an upset stomach, leading Mom and Brenton to arrive in the kitchen at the exact same time.

"You know what? I'm not so hungry anymore," Brenton said in an attempt to leave.

"That's fantastic because I didn't make you breakfast," I said.

"Alexander, Daniella, what is this ruse?" Mom asked in a bothered tone.

"You two need to talk," I told them.

Alex nodded his head in agreement. "Stop fighting with each other, we're all sick of it."

I gave Brenton a firm look. "Mom can be with whoever she wants."

"And so can Niko," Alex said to Mom with a pointed look.

I peered at both of them. "Brent, keep acting like this and you'll push Mom away. And Mom, the same goes for you with Niko. We're a family, and we should be supportive of each other no matter what."

Brenton sighed. "Fine, just don't let that tool sleep over."

I elbowed him in the rib. "And no more name-calling."

"Fine," he groaned. "Take away my free speech, why don't you?"

Ignoring him I looked at Mom in anticipation. "So?"

She inspected her nails to avoid eye contact and admit she was wrong. "I suppose it would be hypocritical of me to not be supportive of Nikolas and his...professor."

"Fiancée, but hey, that's progress!" I said. "Does this mean I can invite Niko and Vanessa for dinner, and we will all be civilized?"

She nodded in defeat. "What about Adam?"

"Baby steps," Brenton pleaded.

I felt bad for my mom, but my twin was right. "Let's focus on Niko today and we'll move onto Adam another day?"

"Very well," Mom said. "Now if there are no more interventions planned for the morning, I have meetings to attend. Speaking of which, we still need to discuss your newfound responsibility, Daniella."

"Can't wait," I grumbled, loud enough for her to hear.

~*~

"Thanks again for coming over to help," I said to Amber. After inviting Niko, who skeptically agreed to dinner, I realized I only had a few hours to prepare everything so I called Amber and asked her to help me make dinner. With Niko and Vanessa being experts in the culinary field I figured macaroni and cheese wouldn't be the ideal dinner which was why I enlisted Amber's assistance.

"As long as I don't see you-know-who, I don't mind," she assured me.

After spending about two hours arguing over the menu, we finally decided on homemade bruschetta, spaghetti bolognese, and a Greek salad. With Niko being a baking prodigy, I was really banking on him to bring dessert. Otherwise, all we had in the freezer were fudgesicles from last summer, and I was not willing to take the risk.

As we prepared tonight's dinner, I filled Amber in on last night's dinner. After Leila bombarded our dinner, James and she drove back to Penbrooke. He texted me an apology about not mentioning their relationship and he promised it had meant nothing, but if it had really meant nothing then why didn't he tell me? I was hoping to get some backup but Amber insisted he had probably just forgotten or it really did mean nothing and that I shouldn't worry. I also told her about my run-in with Holden.

"Maybe you should be less worried about Leila and more worried about Holden," she said.

"I would never cheat on James," I defended.

"I know, but it seems like the Dani and Holden ship is finally sailing," she mused.

"What do I do?" I cried. "I've only seen him as a brother my whole life, and now in one summer, I see him as anything but."

"You need to set boundaries," she encouraged. "Try not to be around him as much."

"But he's here all the time!"

She put the tray of bread in the oven. "Then maybe you should go to Penbrooke more."

That wasn't a bad idea. I could visit James on his lunch breaks or after his work and spend time with him. That way I was spending more time with him and less with Holden. I munched on a cucumber from the salad bowl. "I think I just might do that."

"Good." She smacked my hand as I reached for another cucumber. "Stop eating the ingredients."

~*~

Before Niko and Vanessa came I made sure everyone was dressed and on their best behaviour. I caught Alex about to sit at the table, so I fixed his hair before he could. "Dani, that's enough," he said.

"Wait, let me just—"

"I'll bite your finger," he warned.

I held my hands up. "Damn, no need to get so violent."

Alex muttered incoherent words under his breath and sat at his seat. Brenton and Mom entered the dining room, both of them looking at the dinner spread in surprise. "You made this?" they said in sync.

"Amber helped me," I said without thinking.

"She made this?" Brenton screeched. "Screw that, I'm out."

I grabbed his forearm before he could bolt out of the dining room. "Brent, please."

"You're lucky I'm hungry," he grumbled before taking his seat. Mom sat at the head of the table, and perfectly on time, the doorbell rang. I walked to the foyer and opened the door for Niko and Vanessa. He had an anxious look on his face which calmed down a bit when he saw my smile.

I stood on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Stop making that face. You look like you just witnessed a murder," I whispered in his ear.

"Sorry, I'm nervous," he whispered back.

"Don't be." I was about to greet Vanessa, but my eyes zeroed in on the glass dish in her hands. "Is that..."

"Homemade pumpkin pie? Yes, it is," she answered with a smile.

I couldn't conceal the giddy expression on my face. "Is there any chance you brought..."

"Vanilla ice cream?" she filled in raising the plastic bag dangling from her wrist. "There's no other way to have it."

I graciously accepted the dessert and beamed at them. "Please, come in." I escorted them to the dining room before putting the ice cream in the freezer. I returned back and sat in between Mom and Brenton.

"So..." Niko swallowed. "How has everyone been?"

There was a pause as we all looked at each other to see who would break the silence. 

"Well my week has been utterly exhausting," Mom responded, taking us all by surprise. Even Vanessa looked shocked to see Mom engaging in small talk.

Just like that, what I was expecting to be a quiet dinner was filled with endless conversations. Mom talked about her job, Brenton and Alex brought up old embarrassing stories of Niko, and even Vanessa added to the conversation here and there. Neither Mom nor Niko brought up his change of heart for his career path and I was grateful. Everyone enjoyed dinner for the most part, and I had to fight the willpower to not call Vanessa a wrinkly old cougar when she offered me pointers for my bolognese, but other than that, the night couldn't have gone better. When it was time for dessert, I went to the kitchen to slice up the pie.

"Hey," I called over my shoulder when I saw Niko enter the kitchen. I carefully cut the pie into slices and delicately placed them into dessert plates.

Niko rummaged through the fridge and took out a can of whipped cream. He handed it to me and took the ice cream out of the freezer. I watched as he scooped the ice cream and placed it on the plates beside the slices of pie. "What the hell did you do?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Is professional cake-cutter not in my future?"

He let out a breathy laugh. "No, I mean where did you find a wizard, and how did you convince them to cast a spell on Mom to make her civil?"

I sprayed a dollop of whipped cream on top of a slice of pie. "I told you I truly was sorry, and I'm going to make sure we all put in an effort." I licked some residue whipped cream off of my finger. "I talked to Mom and Brent and told them both to be more supportive of Parker relationships."

Niko set down the ice cream scooper and made a disgusted face. "You mean we have to see more of this cop prick?"

I pointed the nozzle of the whipped cream can at him accusingly. "If you want Mom to accept your partner you have to accept hers."

He snatched the can out of my hand and sprayed some whipped cream into his mouth, earning a look of disgust from me. "Since when were you okay with Mom dating?"

I shrugged my shoulders as I leaned against the counter. "I don't know, she eventually came around to James, and I owe her the same."

Niko stepped forward and kissed the top of my head. "Have I mentioned you're my favourite sibling?"

"Maybe once or twice," I said with a wave of my hand.

"That's it," he suddenly said. "You should be my best man."

"Something about being referred to as a man on your wedding day doesn't sit right with me."

He chuckled as he picked up some dessert plates, so I copied him and we went to the dining room to dish them out.

"Did you guys pick a date yet?" I asked as we returned back to the table. Everyone excitedly began to eat their pies, not paying attention to Niko and me.

I saw the giant smile form on his face from across the table. "We've decided we're going to get married in August!"

My head snapped to the left when I heard wheezing noises, and there my mother was, choking on her pumpkin pie. Niko rushed over and smacked his palm against her back until she coughed out the small piece. It went flying across the table, landing in Alex's water.

"I'm not drinking that," the thirteen-year-old instantly said.

Ignoring him, we were all focused on Mom. "Are you okay, Mrs. Parker?" Vanessa asked concernedly.

Mom patted Niko's hand. "Thank you for saving my life, dear." The sweet mother and son moment lasted about two seconds before she gave him a deadly stare. "Now, I'm going to have to ask you to repeat that last sentence. I'm not sure I heard it correctly the first time."

Brenton reached over the table and stabbed his fork into Mom's pie before moving it to his plate. "We don't want a repeat," he said cheekily when she scowled at him.

Niko took in a deep breath as all eyes were on him. "Vanessa and I have decided we want a summer wedding. So we will be getting married in mid-August."

"This year?" Mom said incredulously. "Honey, that's less than two months away. There's no time!"

"We don't want an extravagant ceremony," Vanessa added, taking the attention away from her soon-to-be husband. "We were thinking of an intimate event."

"Exactly," Niko said. "Like, say, the backyard?"

"You mean my backyard?" Mom clarified.

"Aw, that could be cute," I said in my attempt to lighten the mood.

"Daniella, go clean the dishes," Mom snapped.

"Crabby," Brenton murmured.

"You can join your sister," she said to him.

"Don't look at me for help," Alex said to Niko before he could get any ideas.

Well, so much for a civilized dinner.

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