Today was the day. It's been a few days since the unfortunate screaming match between me and Justin, after cooling down I suggested we meet in a nearby park on my lunch break. Not too public but not too private either, which hopefully lessens the chance of us having a screaming match.
Asher had to work this morning so I left Kaden with my parents for the day as they, mostly my dad, have been asking when he's coming by next; you have a kid and they forget all about you, I'm just his chauffer at this point.
He's probably being spoiled by his grandparents while I am having one of the most nerve-wracking walks in my entire life, when did this park get so far because I feel like I've been walking for hours.
I finally make it to the park and scan the area to see if Justin is already here. Of course, he's punctual as ever and is already waiting at a picnic table for me, he stands once he notices my approach.
"Hey, it's nice to see you." He gives me a tense smile and we sit on either side of the table, facing each other.
"Thanks for agreeing to meet me here, I'm sure you have some questions from the last time we saw each other." I grimace a little thinking of the screaming match we had.
"I'm really sorry about that, Addie, it was just really surprising." His brows furrow and I can tell he wants to say more but is holding himself back.
"Well it was surprising for me too, when I told your mom I would talk with you I didn't mean you could show up to my house unexpectedly."
He stays silents and just looks down at the wooden table as if it has all the answers he's looking for.
"What did you want to talk to me about anyway?" I suddenly remember he was the one who wanted to meet up in the first place.
"Oh, well, uhm, I mostly just wanted to apologize for the way I left things with you. It wasn't right and I should've spoken to you instead of just leaving like I did."
"Well, thank you for the apology, Justin. Was that all?" I know I'm being blunt and probably a little bit rude but this conversation is bringing up feelings I thought I came to terms with already.
"Not necessarily, I was originally going to ask if you wanted to go for dinner, but now I can see you've moved on." Though there was some bite to his words I can sense a bit of sadness as well.
"Not that it's any of your business who I date seeing that we aren't together. Did you expect me to just be here waiting for you as if you didn't rip my heart out of my chest and disappear?" I might be a little dramatic, but I'm trying to put my point across.
"Well, I guess not, but I also didn't expect you to have a baby with some guy and be living together when I got back. Seems a little quick."
"Are you serious right now!? You don't know anything, you left me! I was here all alone, and now you want to just come back into my life?"
Again not where I wanted this conversation to go, especially not on my lunch break, but I guess we're just laying all our cards out on the table.
"What am I not allowed to feel things? I was so in love with you Addison, but at the speed, you moved on I guess the feeling wasn't mutual."
Those words felt like a shot to my gut because I was so in love with him and he knows that, I would've done anything for him and our relationship.
"Well maybe if you had asked instead of jumping to conclusions, you would have found out that I didn't move on." I make sure to keep my voice down remembering we are in a public space right now.
"Oh yeah? So you just live with some random guy and a baby?"
"No, first of all, Asher is my friend, and second," there was no coming back from what I was about to say, "if you decided to do some basic math, you would've realized he's not just some baby. He's your baby."
Any previous rebuttal Justin had died on his lips as he just stares at me in silence, it feels like forever before he responds.
"We have a kid?" That is all he's able to utter out.
"A son, his name's Kaden, that's who Asher was holding when he answered the door." I start tapping my fingers on the table.
"When did you find out?"
"The day you left." I scoff and Justin takes in a sharp breathe at my answer, what terrible timing.
He whispers out a curse but doesn't say anything for a while, I look at my phone to check the time and realize my break is ending soon.
"Listen, I really hate to end like this, but I have to get back to the bakery."
He looks up at me as I stand, but doesn't say anything, just nods his head silently.
I breathe out an 'okay' and turn to leave, only turning when I hear him call my name.
"Addison hold on a second," I turn to see Justin jogging a bit to catch up with me. "I want to meet him. Please."
"Of course, we'll talk and plan a meeting." I give him a soft smile before walking back to the bakery.
I let him reach out to me so we can plan a day for him to come by and meet Kaden, we may be doing this on my terms but I don't want to pressure him.
It takes Justin about a week to call, and we planned to meet up today at my house since he obviously knows where I live.
Asher was working today, which works out seeing that the last time he and Justin met it wasn't exactly the best.
The doorbell rings as I finish feeding Kaden, and the nerves start to build.
"There's somebody at the door for you buddy," I smile as he tilts his head confused. "Do you wanna go see who it is?"
I pick him up from the highchair and he babbles all the way to the door, stopping when he sees the unfamiliar man standing behind it.
Justin stands holding a bouquet and a gift bag, which I can only assume holds a toy to try and win Kaden over.
In all honesty, it'll probably work too.
Kaden suddenly gets very shy and rests his head on my shoulder, bringing his hand to my chest.
"Kaden, sweetie, can you say hello?" He gives a small wave but still doesn't say anything. I invite Justin inside and lead him to the living room so we can sit and Kaden can play with his toys.
We sit down on the couch and just watch him for a while before Justin turns to me.
"How old is he now?"
"15 months, his birthday's in November, the 18th." I take a deep breath before continuing, "I was already pregnant before you left and just didn't know it."
"I'm so sorry Addie, I swear I would've stayed if I'd known." I'm getting a little tired of hearing him say sorry.
"Justin, I wouldn't want you to stay because I was pregnant, I wanted you to stay because you loved me and our relationship meant something to you. Either way, it doesn't matter, it happened and we need to move forward."
I don't give him a chance to respond before calling Kaden over from where he was playing trucks.
I pick him up and place him on my lap, getting ready to explain to him who Justin is. I don't even know how to do this.
"Kaden, this is Mumma's friend, he's your Dad. I'm your Mumma and he is your Daddy." There was no point in trying to sugar coat anything to a 2-year-old, it was easier to just come out and say it.
He looks at me with the sweetest expression and just blinks before turning to Justin and smiling.
"Hi, Daddy." I don't think I've seen someone tear up as fast as Justin at this moment.
"Hi, Buddy, it's nice to finally meet you." He chokes out and smiles back, "I got you something, do you want to open it?"
"Yes! Please." Justin hands him the gift bag and Kaden takes a few moments just playing with the wrapping before getting to the actual gift.
Another truck.
I swear Kaden was a mechanic or a truck driver in a past life the way he loves cars.
He mumbles something the resembles a thank you and shuffles off my lap to add it to his collection on the floor.
"You didn't have to get him anything you know."
"I know, but I wanted to, makes up for all the things I missed."
I don't say anything, but Justin starts to speak again.
"I'm going to make it up to you, the both of you, not being here."
"You really don't have to," I was going to say more but Justin cuts me off.
"I know I don't, but I want to and I'm going to. No matter what it takes."
*****
I know it's been so long and I'm sorry. I hope this extra-long chapter makes up for it, I was going to split it into two but decided against it.
This isn't going to be a super long book, I never planned on it. Probably no more than 20 chapters so we are reaching the end now.
It's reading week, I have a break from school so I'm going to try and get another chapter done before it ends and I'm swamped with assignments again.
What do you guys think is going to happen next? What do you want to happen next?
Don't forget to comment and vote!
Have a warm, morning, afternoon, evening, and night