~ Athena's eyes
Ever since I was a little kid I've always been scared of tons of things. Heights, spiders, snakes, men, darkness, you name it, I was probably scared of it. In other words, I was, -and continue to be-, a scaredy cat. However, those fears such as tall places never compared to one in specific, which is getting bored of the things I'm most passionate about. I've grown up having lots of interests and passions, but every time I become obsessed with a new thing, I wonder how long it will take me to get bored of it. I've grown out of thousands of obsessions and passions I had as a child, and that scared me in a way. Because no matter how passionate I was about that thing, or no matter how much I loved it, I knew that sometime, someday I would get bored of it.
Hence why I was stunned looking at the crowd of my already 17th show out of 80, wondering if I would ever get bored of the blinding fluorescent lights and the people screaming my name. Would I ever get tired of the attention? Would I ever get tired of being harassed by paparazzi? Would I ever get tired of what made me myself? I loved singing too much to ever get bored of it, but what if someone ruined it for me, what if Richard ruined it for me? What would happen then?
Thanks to whatever force is in charge of destiny, I got the cue to leave the stage right before my thoughts went further making me panic and run off the stage. As the lights went dim, I put my guitar back in its place and left the stage, softly running towards the right wing in hopes to find a bit of water and cool myself down.
In the moment I crossed the line that signaled the crowd officially couldn't see me, a big wave of relief washed over me. Sadly, that relief didn't last long since I found myself getting preoccupied again by the same thought that worried me before. Am I gonna get bored of singing?
I walked through the stadium until I reached my dressing room, sitting down on a chair and closing my eyes for a bit. Quickly grabbing a water bottle and taking a sip out of it, my eyes scanned my surroundings. Again, I felt like an ungrateful bitch. So many people would die to be in my place right now, and I still worried about not liking my job anymore.
And another thing hit me again.
Job.
A job.
Of course that singing became my job, after all I was getting paid for doing it. But what if it became only a job?
I shook my head in an attempt to get rid of the thoughts in my head.
God, I'm so annoying.
Suddenly the door burst open and a very familiar person entered the room.
"Hey," Bailey greeted "You're not watching Niall today?"
I shook my head, "Not today"
"Everything alright?" She asked
"Yeah, just thinking," I sent her a small smile which she didn't hesitate to return "I think I'm gonna shower and then head to the tour bus, today's show really consumed me"
"Sure, let me know if there's anything you need, alright love?"
I nodded and Bailey hugged me before leaving the room, allowing me to have a shower.
I sighed in content once I stripped from my dress, walking into the steaming water that relaxed my muscles and got rid of the thoughts around my head. When I was done, I walked out of the shower and changed into much more comfortable clothes than before.
Our bodyguard, Mike, accompanied me towards the bus, making sure I got there in one piece.
"Thanks Mike!" I yelled once he was already leaving.
"No problem, kid!" He yelled back.
I climbed up into my bunk, pulling the sheets over my body and falling asleep almost immediately.
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I woke up to yelling that night, my nap was interrupted by yelling.
"I don't fucking care about what you want, I'm not letting you do that to her!" The voice angrily yelled
Niall.
I lazily opened my eyes and rolled over, so I was facing him. I frowned once I saw him talking to someone on the phone. He was continuously running his hands through his hair, scoffing, moving his arms around. He seemed... frustrated.
"Look, I'm not repeating it again, you're not doing it!" He yelled again
His eyes traveled around the bus until they finally fell on me, his expression softened but he still ran his hands through his hair once again.
"Fine," His voice became a bit lower "I'll talk to her about it"
The person in the other side said something.
"Okay, bye" Were his last words before he hung up.
"Hey," I greeted him, my voice groggy because of sleep "Who are you so mad at?"
"Oh, that?" He asked and I nodded "It was nothing"
I frowned and sat up, careful to not bump my head with the ceiling, my legs dangled off my bunk and I moved them around. "I thought we weren't doing that anymore" I stated
"Doing what?" He asked, confused
"Lying to each other"
"And we are not" He stated "I'm not lying to you, it was nothing that matters"
"Then if it was nothing that matters why is it such a big deal if you tell me?" I raised my eyebrows in disbelief.
"God dammit, why are you so smart?" He cursed under his breath before taking a deep breath and looking at me in the eye. "It was Richard"
My muscles tensed and my legs stopped moving, we were doing everything as he told us to, why did he call?
'Well maybe cause you and Niall are back to whatever you are and he specifically told you not to because if not he would ruin your career' My mind told me
Oh. Right.
"Well what did he say?" I asked
"Nothing" He lied once again
"Niall, we are not going back to lying to each other, tell me" I demanded
"Fine," He walked towards me and spread my thighs open by putting both of his hands on my knees and stood between them, letting his hands rest on my hips while mine went around his neck. "He already chose a girl for the PR stunt, her name is Daisy Harley, she's an actress and model."
I took a deep breath and nodded, signaling for him to continue.
"Richard wants you to pretend to be best friends with her, that way the fans won't suspect that anything is going on between us because of some girl code bullshit"
My eyes widened in surprise. "You've got to be kidding me" I scoffed
"I wish I was, I really wish I was" He whispered, his hand went up to my cheek, softly caressing it before leaning in to kiss me.
No matter how worried I was, no matter how much I wished I could avoid the situation, it was going to happen anyways. But until then, it was my lips Niall's were on, it was my hips Niall was grabbing, it was me the one that received the I love you's, not Daisy, but me, so until then, I would stay unpreoccupied, appreciating what I had.
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A/N:
What's up with me disappearing out of the blue and then coming with such A CHAPTER
Anyyywayssssss
WE ALMOST REACH 7K READS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?????
YOU'RE LITERALLY THE BEST PEOPLE IN THE WORD IM SCREAMING
NIALL'S BDAY IS TOMORROW IM SCREAMING MORE
SCREAMS
My author notes are so chaotic omfg
Anyways how was your day lovelies?
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Till the next update!!
Lots of love,
Sun xxx