With a small sigh, we enter my house after hours for searching for her body.
Everything was destroyed and burnt so we had no luck.
Paige and Roman is in the doctors office. Ryder is locked up in his room.
Me?
I'm trying to busy myself with work so my mind doesn't go to her.
I miss her sarcastic remarks, her laugh, her smile, her eyes, her touch.
I miss her.
My heart is aching and my body is tense. I'm holding myself back from going into her room and sitting there for hours just to be around her scent.
The house feels empty. It feels too quiet and lonely without her.
I drop the pen in my hand and sigh, rubbing a hand down my face.
It's been a few hours since she died.
I don't think I can handle feeling this way anymore.
I want to so badly hold her. I want to see her smile and her gorgeous grey eyes. I want to hear her voice and her laugh.
I want her.
A knock on my door has me sitting up straight and wiping away the stray tear that fell.
Erasing any emotion from my face, I clear my throat.
"Come in"
The door opens and one of my men walks in with a file.
He nods at me, his face cold and harsh just like they were trained to be.
His gun sits noticeably in the pocket of his jeans
"Boss, we have some private information about Spade" he says and my eyes widen a bit.
I grab the file out of his hand and drop it in front of me.
"You may leave" I grunt and he shifts before walking out, the door closing behind him.
I open the file, sighing deeply.
On the front page is private information.
Spade also now known as Tyler Anders. He was born and raised in Texas. Has a little brother and his mother is still alive. Bad relationship with his father.
My mind absorbed the information and I feel a bit of hope.
I will kill him as revenge.
I will torture him for days and then leave him to rot until he begs me to end him.
I will break his bones and wait till they heal just to break them again.
I will burn off his fingers and scar his body with marks.
My evil thoughts are broken when my phone rings.
Frowning at the unknown number, I hesitantly pick up the phone and answer it.
Deep breaths are heard from the other line and my brows pull together in a confused manner.
"Hello?" I ask and get no reply.
Is this some sort of joke.
I wait a few seconds before ending the call and getting up from my seat, throwing the file into the drawers.
I walk out of the office just in time to see Roman comforting Paige as she cries.
I hold back my own set of tears and walk pass them, upstairs.
I know what I'm about to do is unhealthy for grief but I need her.
Or else I'll die.
Opening the door to her room slowly. I close my eyes as I inhale her scent.
I look around her room, still left in the condition it was when she left last week.
Clothes is scattered on the floor and bed. Her bathroom door is wide open. Makeup lay on her desk. Her bed is unmade.
I walk towards her bed and sit on it slowly, sinking into it.
The soft material hits the back of my head as I lay down on her bed, staring at the ceiling.
Please come back.
The image of her smiling enters my mind and I try shaking it away. Her laughs fills my senses and I clench my jaw.
I sit up quickly, breathing deeply. I tug on my hair harshly and get off her bed.
It hurts me.
With one last glance at her room, I leave closing the door behind me.
***
"Ryder you can't kill all of them. We need one for questioning on his boss' whereabouts" I argue with Ryder and he scowls.
"They killed my sister. They never messed with her, they messed with her older brother too" he speaks.
I frown and sigh, "I know you're mad that you couldn't save her but you can't take your anger out like this. We won't win this war if we aren't doing it right"
"Damn right I'm mad. I'm ready to kill anyone who I know have touched her" he says.
Same.
"Please calm down and do your job properly" I sigh.
With a hesitant nod, he leaves my warehouse office and walks out leaving me alone.
The silence doesn't last for long as Roman burst through my doors, panting.
"Our shipment was stolen" he breathes and I scowl.
"What the fuck. Do you know who?" I question as I get up from my seat and pull my suit jacket properly.
"$100 it's the Americans" he mumbles.
I nod and walk out the door, him following closely.
"Where are you going?" he asks and I shake my head.
I look down the hallway where the door that leads to the gun room I took her to.
Fighting back the memories, I turn to Roman.
"If Ryder comes back with a guy, call me" I tell him and he shakes his head.
"Tell me where you are going" he tries again and I sigh in displeasure.
"I need a drink" I finally tell him.
"This is not healthy, brother" he frowns.
"I don't give a shit" I grumble, glaring at him.
People annoy me.
Without a second glance, I exit the building and rush towards my car.
I speed off towards my club, passing all red lights just desperate to forgot everything that has happened in the last 24 hours.
I arrive minutes later and push through people as I enter.
I ignore their complaints and immediately order the strongest drink they have.
Gulping it down, I take a seat waiting for the drink to start it effects on me.
Spotting a brunette girl walking towards me with a smirk, I don't return a gesture and instead order another drink.
She takes a seat besides me and I turn my gaze towards her, my face still set in a glare.
Her brown hair is too light. She isn't the same height as Mars. She doesn't have grey eyes. Her smile doesn't turn me the fuck on.
She isn't Mars.
Pushing her hand off my arm in an attempt to flirt, I get up ignoring everyone and rush outside overwhelmed with emotion.
Please come back.
I feel the need to burst into tears and cry for the rest of my life. But I do what she told me and not cry.
I'm driving home now, not caring that I'm drunk.
It's late and dark outside when I arrive at home, Ryder and Roman's car parked in my drive-way.
I stumble up the stairs towards the front door, opening it with struggle.
I sway towards the living room, the bright lights blinding my vision.
I stop in my tracks at the sight of her.
"You're unattractive when you cry, Princess"
***
hey! so I don't know what to say. i just want to say that I was laughing really hard at your comments on my last chapter because everyone was crying and I don't why I find that amusing. sorry for breaking your heart. tell me if you like it:)
#thisauthoriscool
9/11/2021
-Z