chapter twenty three
this isn't my home
Sunday 18th March 2018
"Via?" Tom asked as he walked into their bedroom after tucking Asher into sleep. Olivia was lead on the bed, buried in cream sheets and face hidden behind a book. "Can I speak to you about something?"
The woman sat up and her eyebrows furrowed in concern. To comfort his girlfriend and show that there was nothing wrong, he got onto the bed and sat next to her. He took her hand and rubbed circles with his thumb. "What is it, Tom?"
"Last weekend, I suggested we travel together for my press tour..." He started, and he swallowed slowly. The actor had been nervous to talk about this for a while, hence why it had taken him a whole week to mention it again. "And you didn't look too happy about it. Can we talk about that?"
She sighed slightly, but nodded and put a bookmark in her book and set it aside. "I think it's too soon."
"Hasn't everything so far been too soon? Look how well we're doing." He tried to make the mother see his side, but he knew Olivia would win. Her arguments were always more appropriate and selfless, she had children to think about.
"You fly out to South Korea on the 10th, correct?" The mother started, which Tom nodded too. "By that point, we won't have even been dating three months. And you want me to take weeks out of not only my life, but my children's life?" She ran a hand through her hair before she continued.
"I don't think there's any going back from the stage we're at. All four of us, no matter how it happens, may be heartbroken if we don't work out. So I get why you want this to happen so badly. But a holiday is too much for me an my agent to handle in terms of press. It's like an official outing to the public that we're a family."
"But we are a family." Tom responded, and his heart panged. His eyes began to get teary as he realised what Olivia was saying. "Or am I the only one here who believes I'm part of your family?"
She remained silent as she mulled it over. Olivia had winced at her daughter when she had called Tom her dad. There was an obvious reason for that, and the woman despised herself for it.
"Olivia?" Tom pleaded. "So what? I've just been playing pretend?" He was heartbroken. He loved Olivia's children more than anyone in his life, he had been taking care of them, teaching and guiding them, being there for them when they were upset. Because it only suited his girlfriend. But when he finally wanted to take another step to solidify his part with the Jones', Olivia had shattered his heart with a flick of her finger.
"No, Tom - god, no." Olivia tried to argue, but Tom could read her expression plainly.
"This whole time, I'd fooled myself to believing that you were happy with us. You don't shudder at the kids calling me dad because it's too soon, but because you just don't like it!" His voice had risen to a shout, and Tom knew he would wake the children up. But seeing from Olivia's reaction, they're not his problem.
"I'm not ready for us to be a family yet, Tom." The woman had tears rolling down her cheeks, but Tom couldn't care less. He was the one truly hurt.
"You fucking led me on, Olivia." Tom never swore, and it caught the woman off guard. It was a burning slap to her face as she realised the extent of her crime. "I don't want to be around you right now." He was already stood up from his anger, so he grabbed his coat.
The woman jumped up and clung onto his arm. "Tom, please, we just need to talk this through, I think you've misunderstood-"
"Misunderstood?" He laughed, and tore his arm away from her. She had burnt his arm from her red hot lies that sizzled from her fingertips.
"Where are you going?" She asked in a panic as he moved to the bedroom door. "When will you come home?"
"Clearly, Olivia, this isn't my home." Tom knew exactly how to use his words to make his girlfriend feel utter pain and suffering from her own actions. "I'm going for a drink. I haven't had one in god knows how long because I've been taking care of my family- oh sorry, taking care of your children."
With that, the door slammed shut and Tom had left the apartment.
***
It was 3am, and Olivia was still staring wide eyed at the ceiling above her bed. Tom had ignored all of her calls and texts, meaning the mother had had a lot of time to think over her actions.
She hated herself for what she said. 'I'm not ready for a family'. Of course she was! Otherwise she wouldn't have introduced Tom to her children, wouldn't have had him there for Asher's birthday, or invited him on the family walk with Lizzy and Eric. She wouldn't have let him carpool Lyra and her friend to acting school the many mornings the mother had needed a lie in.
Olivia knew, if her boyfriend had just kept his cool, she would've been able to explain everything more easily. She was panicked and lost for words, and Tom had taken her silence as the worst.
But how could she hold him accountable for any of this? He was hurt for a justifiable reason, one that could've been easily avoided, but the mother had chosen to be difficult.
Olivia bolted upright in her bed when she heard the front door swing open and bang against the wall. There was a jingle of keys, and Olivia knew the sound distinctly to be Tom's, hanging with his car key and a Lego key ring of Loki that Asher had brought him.
The door closed more softly than it had opened, and she heard the lock of the door, and the stumble of footsteps towards her door. It pushed open, and Tom (beyond drunk), stumbled in. He closed the door behind him and was about to walk towards the bed, before he saw Olivia, sat on the edge of the bed with a worried look.
"I thought I was home." He slurred, and it got mixed with a small cry of despair. Tom collapsed to the floor in exhaustion. "This isn't even my home anymore." He cried softly and let his hands fall in his palms. The alcohol had heightened his misery and heartache, making this more difficult than Olivia had hoped for.
She jumped out of the bed and knelt in-front of him. The caring woman went to take his hands, but he pulled them away. "Don't touch me!" He cried again. "You hurt me. You hurt me!"
"Oh, baby." Olivia mumbled and her lips quivered. "I'm so sorry. I made a huge mistake. This is your home. Your home isn't just this apartment, but where the four of us are, me, Asher, Lyra, and even Bobby. We're your home, your family."
"Don't lie, you're not ready for a family." He slurred again, as he leant back and rested his head on the door behind him. He reeked of expensive whiskey, and cigarettes, meaning he had clearly been to a club. It was a smell all too familiar to Olivia. One that her ex-husband used to smell of every night.
"I am." Olivia didn't lie this time. "I don't know why I said that, I was being stupid and naïve." She leant forward and finally took his hands, before she kissed him softly on his hot lips. "It took me only 5 seconds after you had walked out to realise you mean more to me than I realised. I care for you just as much as I care for our little munchkins."
"Our?" The man questioned.
"Yes. Our." She brushed his hair behind his ears and patted his hot, sweaty head with her palm. "Like we agreed, when the time is right, you'll be their dad. We are a family, one that works incredibly well considering the short length in time."
"I just wish we could skip this year. I wish we had been together for a whole, long, year." His last words slur into one long, dragged out word. "Nothing would be too soon or too complicated. We could just do what we want without worry. I wish we could skip all of this, to a time when we've already had a family holiday, when I'm their dad, when we've had sex, when I've taken you all to my movie premieres, when we move into a house together. I don't want to wait for things to turn easy."
Olivia knew he was drunk, and knew he wasn't fully aware of what he was saying, but responded none-the-less. "Then let's not waste time. Screw the public and their judgments, screw the press and their shitty camera's. As long as we both want it, we should do it."
"You really think that would work?"
"Thomas," Olivia giggled slightly, and placed her forehead on her boyfriend's. "Do you love me?"
"Of course I do, Via." He grabbed her waist and pulled her over his lap. The mother could feel him throbbing underneath her, as he listened to her next words.
"And I love you even more. So this will work." Olivia decided. "Our arguments so far have been because of my fears. I know now not to hold us back, or I might lose the most important man in my life." She slid off of his lap and stood slowly. Olivia helped Tom up and they walked to the bed together. He had managed to sober up only slightly, but she could trust him to have a proper conversation.
"So you still don't want us to travel together on my press tour?" Tom asked, but he didn't even let Olivia answer. "I didn't even want to bring the kids to start with, sometimes I miss when it was just you and me, we never get any time alone anymore. I wanted to take you to Asia and the kids to the US. Can you at least think about it?"
"Tom, that sounds lovely. I'll think about it, I promise. They have school, and I can't just drag them out of it, and last minute flights are expensive-"
"I'm paying. Please. I have more money than I need. Anything you'd want to make the trip amazing if you decide to go, just tell me." Tom was getting excited, and his intoxicated state was making it worse. Olivia stayed silent as everything started to run through her head.
The stress and thoughts instantly moulded away as Tom turned the lamp off and snuggled into his girlfriend under the sheets. He had stripped all his clothes off apart from his boxers, and he moaned a tired sigh as he nestled into the crook of Olivia's neck. The woman pulled the covers over her and she hugged him back lightly, focusing on rubbing her hands through his hair.
"I love you, Tom," She whispered, however, the man was already snoring lightly. Olivia giggled slightly, and wondered how she had gotten so lucky.
word count: 1897
note: you could say I got bored of them being so happy. I have to spice it up once in a while. However, in a couple weeks in the timeline there will be something I've been looking forward to write for literal YEARS!