After Loki's Roxxcart betrayal, Mobius found him within an inch of his life and decided he wasn't going to give up on him now.
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Pairing: Loki/Mobius M. Mobius
Trigger warning for blood and injuries
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Maybe you shouldn't have done that, was what the voices said. Betraying Mobius. What did you think would happen?
A lot. Loki chuckled, it forced more blood out of his mouth; he was thankful and somewhat surprised he hadn't choked on it yet. Though this wasn't one of them; what he thought would happen, that Loki had to admit. He... misjudged the situation. But again, he shouldn't have expected any less from a Loki.
Should've seen it coming. You fool. Maybe the voices was right. Another urge to chuckle rippled through his chest, and this time he did choke on his own blood, hardly spitting them out in time before he'd drown. The floor beneath his head, where he lied gracelessly on his side, soaked in sticky crimson liquid as more blood dripped down his chin. There was a pool of the same type of liquid gathering around beneath his midsection, where she — the Loki variant — drove her dagger deep in his stomach, twisting the blade just to make sure he'd eventually bleed to death.
A dagger. How ironic. But again, she was a Loki. What else did he expect, really?
His vision kept getting blurrier, his eyelids only grew heavier as seconds passed. Loki wondered, how long he could hold on before unconsciousness took over, before death claimed him for good.
He didn't know where he was, but he could tell it was a field of sorts. Muddy grass being what he lied on, after the Tempad took them both here, before she decided to be the first to betray and stab, leave him here to die as she took off with said Tempad, and Loki, stupidly, didn't see it coming before it was too late. What a way to go down, he thought; a Loki killed by another Loki.
Loki, wait. Loki!
On the verge of drifting off, Mobius's voice echoed in his head, much to his own dismay. Loki hated that he felt bad — guilty, even — by the look on Mobius's face, by the way Mobius ran to him, trying to reach him even though, surely, Mobius must've known he couldn't have reached him in time, if Loki decided to follow his variant through the time door, and he did.
Then he wondered, after he died and Mobius never heard from him again, what Mobius would think; that Loki had betrayed him (because, frankly speaking, he kind of did) and left behind what they had. What they had... Loki wasn't sure what that was, friendship? Something more? He couldn't tell, and, he supposed, neither could Mobius. And they'd never be able to tell. Because Loki would be dead and Mobius would keep on wondering what happened. The last Mobius ever saw of him, the last they ever saw of each other, was that look in their eyes before Loki decided to walk out that door and leave Mobius behind.
It's okay, Mobius. You can trust me, his own words never sounded so loud in his head. Perhaps Mobius hated him now. Perhaps this was simply what he did; he pushed away people who loved and cared about him. And perhaps this was his comeuppance, to die alone.
He was dying and his last thought... was of Mobius. Loki smiled, softly, faintly, because he was fading away fast, and, if he were to be honest with himself for once, thinking about Mobius made it feel... less lonely. Warm. The thoughts of Mobius kept him warm.
Loki thought of Mobius's smile, when it was just the two of them working together in the archives, when Loki could let his guard down and sleep while in Mobius's presence, made dying alone feel less lonely.
He closed his eyes. Mobius's kind smile being the last thing he knew.
~~~
He should've known better. Mobius knew he should've known better than to trust Loki. Though if anything, he was more bothered by the hurt in his chest, that wouldn't go away, than the fact they lost two Lokis, and that... it bothered him a lot.
You thought you had something going on, didn't you? You and your Loki. How naive. That you, out of all people, fell for Loki's trick. Like your studying the god's entire life didn't teach you anything.
And here he was, hiding away in the comfort of his little cubicle when Ravonna and the Minutemen tried locating their escaped prisoner and the variant's whereabouts. He should be helping them, and he would be helping them. He just... needed some time alone with his thoughts, shame and hurt. The latter, Mobius laughed bitterly, haunted him the most.
Ravonna was right, he did have a soft spot for broken things. It backfired. Now, pathetically, he became the broken one.
The beeping from his Tempad would've gone utterly ignored like the first three times it happened (and Mobius felt bad about that, he didn't mean to ignore Ravonna, especially when he was responsible for Loki's escape. He, as previously stated, needed some time alone) hadn't it been for the... difference, something about the way the line on the screen went up way higher than what was considered normal. It wasn't Ravonna, it came from outside the TVA. It was — Mobius blinked, leaning forward to take a better look at the little screen of the device on his desk and hardly believing what he was looking at — the beginning of a Nexus Event.
He rose on his feet, turning around to go and alert everybody. Then he stopped in his tracks. Something stopped him dead in his tracks; a feeling deep in his chest that he didn't understand and couldn't begin to explain. He should be alerting his team.
Mobius looked down at the device, now held carefully in his hands. The line was there, skyrocketing almost to the point of a Nexus Event now. Mobius supposed it would take less than half a minute, then everybody would know, whether or not Mobius alerted them, of the jeopardy of the timeline. Unless Mobius went there and prevented it from happening.
And if he were to act, he needed to do it now.
What are you doing? Protested the rational thoughts in his head. Tell Ravonna. Don't you dare go rogue. This is your life, where your loyalty lies.
Mobius looked around, no one paid him any mind. He, against his own belief and better judgement, opened the time door and stepped through it without letting a single soul know.
~~~
The signal took him to an empty field. Mobius looked around, taking in his surroundings, there was... nothing but overgrowth and ruin. The air was cold, sending chills through his bones. Though there was no sign of Loki or the variant.
He took a few steps forward. There had to be something, the Tempad sent him here on purpose, the sign of a Nexus Event originated from here.
Mobius didn't have to wander around for more than a minute when he came across a figure lying on the muddy ground. Tall grass nearly succeeded in hiding the man from Mobius's sight altogether. And Mobius held his breath, stunned, because even without seeing his face properly, and even with his outfit covered in blood and dirt, Mobius recognized the TVA uniform, which Loki wore, anyway.
And this... no, no, this can't be happening.
Mobius expected Loki and the variant, yes, but not Loki alone, dying on the ground. Or dead. Dread froze his blood, and for a moment he didn't know what to do.
Loki. Oh god. Oh god. How did I let this happen? Why didn't I run faster? at Roxxcart. I could've... could've...
He saw movement, the rise and fall of Loki's chest, it was small, barely visible, but it was there.
Loki was alive, for now, at least. It meant Mobius wasn't too late. Mobius knelt down, more like dropping on his knees, shaky hands slowly turned Loki over until he was lying on his back. The time agent unconsciously let out a gasp at the stab wound on Loki's abdomen. He'd seen, more times than he cared to count, gruesome crime scenes just like the one he was looking at right now, and they didn't bother him before. Because they weren't Loki. His Loki.
Bring him back to the TVA. He needed to do that.
Mobius stopped, another thought made itself vocal in his head. No, he couldn't bring Loki back to the TVA, unless he was okay with the faith Loki would surely meet there. (Mobius knew what was in the stores for an escaped prisoner, having experienced it far too many times than he'd like to admit)
But he did betray you. Maybe he deserves what's in the stores for him.
No, no, he wouldn't let them do that to Loki. Mobius knew for a fact he wouldn't let Ravonna, or the Time Keepers, or anybody take Loki away from him again. Stupid, he knew. Pathetic even. The surge of protectiveness Mobius had of Loki that could never go away, even after his betrayal, even after the pain, he never seemed to learn.
I know you have a soft spot for broken things, Ravonna's voice was persistent. He hated how right she was.
Save yourself the trouble, Mobius. Loki's not worth it. You saved him once, granted him that chance, and he used the affection you gave as a dagger and made you bleed with it.
Ironic metaphor, considering Loki was the one bleeding out from what was clearly a knife wound.
He was bleeding out, which meant Mobius didn't have much time. Loki didn't have much time.
Loki had betrayed him, and Mobius was (kind of) already betraying the TVA simply by being here under the table, covering what would've been a Nexus Event.
(Though what caused it, that remained a mystery to Mobius. Loki seemingly getting betrayed by another Loki? For some reason, Mobius doubted that was the reason for the Almost Nexus Event, would've been a Nexus Event which the entire TVA would know of, hadn't Mobius stepped in. But whatever caused it... Mobius supposed he could worry about it later. Right now, though, right now Loki was dying)
And that was when Mobius realized; he wasn't about to give up on Loki. Even if everybody else would. Even if Loki ended up driving that dagger deep into his chest again.
~~~
The first thought that swam to Loki's mind the first second he could think of anything again, was 'not again,'
Unless this was Hel... but Loki never really believed in Hel or Valhalla. He thought, had always believed, what followed after death was simply nothingness, one's soul simply stopped existing, despite having grown up taught otherwise by his mother. But here Loki was; thinking and feeling — the discomfort around his abdomen forced a low moan from his lips. His throat felt dry, like a desert. And suddenly another type of pain kicked it, the type of pain that wasn't physical; how many times had he been through this? To almost reach the sweet release of death only to be yanked back, without him having a say in it, to this endless suffering of being alive. It was, in its own right, exhausting. He was exhausted.
He remembered vaguely, memories started to flood back in, what happened before. They were at Roxxcart, him and Mobius, catching this variant, a Loki variant. Then...
Loki, wait!
He pressed his eyes shut tight, feeling the dampness of his tears welling in. You didn't wait. He wanted to, not for the TVA, but for Mobius. The last person Loki wanted to ever betray, was Mobius. But he still ended up doing just that. Because he was a Loki, and Lokis betrayed and stabbed, these were the only things they did, and he hated that. Hated himself for that. Hated that he couldn't stop hurting the people who loved him.
He remembered, Mobius being the last thing he thought of before unconsciousness took over.
Mobius.
Loki opened his eyes. Suddenly it occurred to him that he, disregard how beaten he was, should at least consider his surroundings, what happened between the time he blacked out and now. Because he was certain, wherever he was now, he wasn't out there in the field, bleeding out on the muddy ground, anymore. This was... soft, soft and warm, the thing which he currently laid on.
Apparently it was a bed, with comforting mattress and a nice blanket covering his body from shoulders down. The place, however, wasn't somewhere familiar, Loki took a mental note after looking around. It certainly wasn't the TVA building, or any healing chamber. Just a room, a pretty decent room in what looked to him like a cottage of sorts, with wooden wall and the faint scent of nature lingering in the atmosphere.
His first instinct was to consider if he was being kidnapped, perhaps some scavengers found him in that field and brought him here. But he would expect to be tied up in some dark basement, had that were to be the case. Loki pulled the blanket off of him then, looking down at his own wrists just to be sure; he wasn't restrained. And was somewhat surprised — curiosity taking over — to see a large gauze wrap around his abdomen, where she drove a dagger deep in his bones. The blood-soaked TVA shirt he'd previously wore no longer in sight, leaving him topless with the bandage instead.
This was... interesting.
Though Loki knew he couldn't stay put, despite his body begging him for some rest, for him to simply stay where he was, like this. He couldn't. Whoever took him here could walk through the door anytime now, and Loki had no interest in waiting and finding out if they had any ill intentions.
He grunted when his shifting up into sitting pulled at the wound, doubling the pain. By the time he had his back against the headboard he was already panting. "Damnit," Loki cursed under his breath. He tried summoning his magic, and wasn't surprised when the attempt was fruitless. Too weak. Too injured. What little magic he had left was being used to heal the wound.
So much for thinking about teleporting away.
Though he'd rather crawl away and die in the woods than stay here like a sitting duck, waiting patiently to find out what his captive was going to do to him. He wasn't restrained, which was a good thing. Maybe they underestimated him, thinking he was too injured to flee.
But maybe they didn't underestimate him at all. Loki fell on his knees the second he got off the bed — hitting the floor not-so gently — and he had to grit his teeth, using all the little strength he had left not to fall further down until he was lying on the carpet-covered ground.
His attempt to get on his feet was useless. He should've known that. He, in the end, did end up lying on his side on the floor just next to the bed.
And that was when he heard the door open.
"Loki!" the voice sounded worried, urgent, but most importantly... familiar.
Loki froze. He knew that voice, having longed for this very voice when he was dying, bleeding out in the field.
But how? You left him. At Roxxcart. You left him there.
Mobius was by his side in the blink of an eye, and Loki thought, considered, he did die after all. Maybe Valhalla did exist and this was it. Or maybe he was still out there, dying in the field, and this was him hallucinating things. But Mobius's touch was warm and persistent. Warm and persistent yet so, so gentle at the same time.
And Loki was left stunned, too confused to protest when Mobius manhandled him back to the bed. All Loki could do was train his eyes on him, as if blinking would mean Mobius would suddenly disappear.
Mobius was here. Mobius looked worried. Just like he was that day when they first met. A villain, Loki had said back then. That's not how I see it, the look in Mobius's eyes that day mirrored the look in his eyes now, full of concern but the kindness there was no less.
And Loki could cry because he'd missed it so much, the kindness or whatever it was Mobius gave. No one else ever did that, and he thought he'd lost the privilege forever when he left him there.
Somehow, Loki supposed, Mobius must've felt himself being stared at when he looked back, so their eyes locked. He thought... that was when he knew it was real. The How didn't really matter when they ended up together again.
Silence befell next, with their eyes never once shifting away from each other. So many emotions dancing behind those eyes, so many things left unsaid between them and it kept getting heavier. The last time they met, the last time they parted, Loki knew the memories still burnt brightly in Mobius's mind. It's okay, Mobius. You can trust me, and he'd betrayed that trust.
And here Mobius was, nursing him back to health despite his crime. Or, whatever this was he was doing.
"Well, I'd expect handcuffs and a collar," Loki trailed off, breaking the silence he found too... intense. He was the first to avoid his eyes.
Mobius held back a sigh. And if Loki's speaking seconds earlier was in hope to earn a chuckle from Mobius, it seemed the Time Agent wasn't in the mood for some jest, which was... understandable.
"I thought you died," Mobius said after a brief pause that, at least for Loki, lasted long enough that he thought he was being given a silent treatment. His voice sounded hoarse, almost like he'd spent the last hour either crying or screaming.
"Come on," Loki chuckled humorlessly, even if he should probably stop treating the situation as if it wasn't as messy as it was, he knew that. He couldn't really let himself go and apologize and beg for forgiveness and tell Mobius how grateful he was he still had another chance with him though, although part of him wanted nothing more than to do just that. "Where's the fun in that? You should've known you couldn't..." his coughing interrupted him, the pain from his healing wound threatening to tear a scream from his throat. "Couldn't get rid of me that easily,"
"So it's all a game to you?"
Oh, Loki knew what this was; Mobius was angry. He never really saw him this angry before, but the fact he could still see fear on Mobius's face, mixed with anger and relief, being what disturbed Loki the most.
Not the anger but the fear, the relief Mobius was trying to hide.
And it hadn't occurred to Loki until now that he was leaning on his elbow, half lying in bed, when Mobius was particularly leaning in, hovering over with his arms on either side of Loki's body. And their faces were close, probably too close, but for some unknown reason, Loki wasn't going to move away.
"No," he said after another long moment of silence swooped in. "It wasn't a game, Mobius. I didn't mean to..."
"To what?"
Their eyes locked again. "Betray you," Loki added reluctantly. "I'm sorry,"
But you did, the look on Mobius's face said, or maybe it was just the voices in Loki's own mind. The anger seemed to have faded away, leaving only... something else. Mobius looked like he wanted to say something, but later decided against it with a huff and a shake of his head. When he leaned away Loki almost chased after him, seeking the closeness.
"You need to rest," he said, already walking away.
Loki nearly let it slip and shouted 'Don't go,' instead he ended up asking, "Where are we?" Because that seemed important enough a question.
He felt somewhat relieved when Mobius walked back with a glass of water he'd fetched from the table, so he never meant to leave to begin with.
"Somewhere safe," was all Mobius said as he held the glass to Loki's lips. Loki hesitated, but he eventually drank from it. It felt nice, heavenly nice, since he couldn't recall when the last time he had water was. Mobius pulled the glass away too soon, and the pout on Loki's mouth was reflexively. "Can't have too much yet," Mobius explained. "A little at a time, so you don't end up getting sick,"
He was about to protest when Mobius cut him off. "Rest. I mean it, Loki."
Loki sighed then. Mobius was right, he knew that. But how long could they go on without addressing what happened? Though he was tired, so tired. Mobius's presence was comforting. He'd let his guard down enough to slip into slumber while in the man's presence before, he'd recently been out cold and on the verge of death around Mobius just hours ago, so if Mobius wanted to hurt him, he'd be dead by now.
In the end exhaustion got the best of him. The last Loki saw, before drifting off again, was Mobius's concerned but kind eyes looking at him.
~~~
What are you doing? The voices in his head sounded like Ravonna. Mobius chuckled to himself humorlessly. He supposed they must already have noticed his mystery absence at the TVA by now. And he felt bad — guilty even — to put his peers in such... jeopardy. Two Lokis on the run, and now they lost their own agent, too.
While his brain told him to turn Loki in, his heart seemed to disagree.
Look at you. Betraying your own for a pet variant who'd betrayed you. Maybe Loki isn't the only backstabber here, after all.
"Where are your friends?" Loki's voice interrupted his thoughts. Mobius hadn't heard him wake up, but he figured he was deeply distracted. "I don't suppose they approved of... whatever this is you're doing, giving a prisoner a shelter,"
Mobius turned around to direct his gaze at him. Sometimes he wondered if Loki could actually read mind, but maybe it was simply that obvious; he'd gone rogue. "You don't have to worry about that," Mobius said, matter-of-factly.
Loki chuckled. "So you betrayed your precious TVA for someone who'd betrayed you," then he winced. If Mobius had to guess, he'd say Loki hadn't meant to let it slip.
"Everybody betrays everybody, apparently," Mobius said.
Loki avoided his eyes. He wasn't sure if he could call it a betrayal, because, sure, he may have betrayed Mobius, but what he got — whether or not he was betrayed by another Loki... because they were enemies, maybe what Loki got wasn't an outright betrayal, but it was indeed a taste of his own medicine.
"Why?" Loki said, still wouldn't look at Mobius.
"Why what?"
"Why are you helping me... after what I did,"
Mobius was silent, because he'd been asking himself the same question and he supposed he, deep down, did know the answer all along. He just... couldn't tell Loki that, could he? The Why.
Because I'm not ready to give up on you. Instead he approached and placed the back of his hand gently on Loki's forehead. "You don't have a fever," Mobius said after letting the hand stay there for a moment. "That's a good sign,"
"I don't feel so well," Loki said. Mobius's purposefully ignoring his question didn't go unnoticed by him, but he decided not to push, knowing he wasn't really in the position to pursue an answer, not after what he did, not after Mobius saved his life.
"I don't expect you to. Not for a little while, anyway," Mobius chuckled. He held the glass of water close to Loki's lips again, and this time Loki accepted the help with no hesitation. "You'll be fine," he added, placing the glass back on the nightstand after Loki was done.
Silence crept back into the atmosphere, and Mobius thought they weren't going to continue their little conversations anymore when Loki said, "How did you find me?"
Mobius looked, for a moment, taken aback, like he didn't expect Loki to ask that, but he shouldn't even be surprised, when he considered the fact Loki was bleeding out in a dying planet, and Mobius was able to locate him.
"You were..." he trailed off, because it was still confusing to him, too. "There was... ahh... what would've been a Nexus Event, I followed it. And that's how I found you,"
Loki murmured an oh.
"What happened?" It was Mobius's turn to ask. "I mean... the whole Nexus Event thing. Was that your variant?"
"She left after she... attacked me," Loki said, it was the truth.
"So it couldn't have been what almost caused it then,"
"I second that," Loki had his eyes glued on the wall, because he couldn't look Mobius in the eyes right now, for fear Mobius might have a clue of what really happened.
(But the truth was, Loki wasn't so sure of it either. He doubted his being betrayed by another Loki was what alerted Mobius, and he remembered; himself longing for the very same man who sat on an armchair his bed right now, taking care of him)
And Loki thought, that might be the first time in his life he'd experienced those feelings, the needs to have a specific someone's hands around him, the needs to have Mobius with him, because he'd been pushing people away his entire life. The way Mobius made him feel, was making him feel, Loki wasn't sure what it was, but he never wanted to ever be away from Mobius again, and those feelings, it terrified him. It wasn't something he was familiar with, and he'd never felt something so strong.
"I... am tired," Loki said at last. He, still lying on his back, looked up at Mobius now, and Mobius seemed to understand that.
(Loki had expected Mobius to stay angry, or at least be disappointed, he only saw worries and kindness, and somehow, Loki thought he'd have preferred anger, he'd feel less... guilty that way)
"Sleep. I'm not going anywhere," Mobius said after a short pause with a soft smile. It was a statement. Could even be a threat had it were to come from anybody else's mouth.
It sounded to Loki like a promise.