I have to admit, selfishly I wanted to write about more JJ x Emilia content. I'm obsessed with father JJ and I wanted to give you one last taste before I say goodbye to this story! :)
Lena Boggs
Twenty-three hours of labour. Twenty-three hours of JJ constantly asking if I needed anything if I was okay.
I began to stir in my sleep, the beeping from the hospital machine beside me was the first thing I heard. I found JJ sitting on a chair, eyes wide open as he stared at where our new daughter was laying peacefully.
"Baby?" I whispered, his attention turning to me. He quickly rushes to my side, his hand pushing hair from my forehead. "Hey, hey Lee B. How are you feeling? Do you want anything?"
I smile at him, a weak smile from the exhaustion I felt. I nod towards the bassinet that held our newborn daughter, her pink blanket wrapped snuggly around her.
There was something off about JJ, something I've noticed when he declined the doctor's offer to hold our baby when she was born— Something didn't feel right, and he was trying to hide it from me.
"You haven't held her yet, JJ," I stated, my voice barely above a whisper. JJ's body tensed at my words, licking his lips as he glanced towards the bassinet. "Why hasn't needed to be held."
I gave him a knowing look, one that told him I knew that wasn't the real reason. "What's going on in that head of yours, JJ?"
JJ's eyes became glossy, biting down on his bottom lip like I just chipped away his tough front. He rubs my forehead again, shaking his head as a tear slips down his face.
"Look at her, Lee..." He whispered, voice shaking. "Look at how innocent she is, how beautiful she is..." I couldn't understand why he was saying it like it was a bad thing.
"I..." He wipes his eye with his sleeve. "I'm too scared, she's too perfect...Lena. What if I fuck her up? I see Baby Maybank written on that crib and I can't help but think to myself that a little baby as pure as her shouldn't have to take on the shame of holding the Maybank name." Everything clicked, as he sobbed silently.
I press my palm against his cheek, shaking my head at his foolishness. "What if I'm no better than my father? I love her so much already and I haven't even touched her, I'm so s-scared Lee."
"Name her," I tell him, his eyes widen at my request. "What?"
"Go look at our daughter, J. Tell me her name." JJ pulled back from my touch in shock. "But we haven't decided on one yet?"
"I want you to name her." I tell him sternly, "I-I... Baby, a name is like permanent... She needs to live with it forever, that's too big a-"
"JJ!" I stop his rambling. "Please, go look at our daughter... And tell me her name." JJ stared at me in fear, mixed with some excitement before turning and walking towards our daughter.
He places his hands on the side of the bassinet, leaning over so he's hovering above the sleeping child. From here, I can see his pupils dilate... His chest rising and falling, his hold tightening around the edge of the bassinet.
Slowly, I walked as his eyes filled with a sense of protection... Love. He stared at the little girl that we created together with so much passion, and even though I had always known he would be an amazing father... This moment confirmed it.
He was unsure of himself, but I believed in him.
JJ's lips parted, eyes widening in realization before he laughed softly to himself. He figured out her name, I could see it.
"Emilia..." He whispers, eyes never leaving our daughter. "She looks... Like an Emilia." His voice is so soft, so gentle.
My eyes filled with tears of happiness, "Then Emilia is her name."
JJ's eyes meet mine. "Emilia Logan Maybank." A faint gasp leaves my lips as I hear the name of my late father... A tear slips down my cheek, we're crying together now.
I couldn't imagine sharing this moment with anyone else... I knew we weren't married yet, nor were we engaged... We hadn't planned to have a child yet, but this moment felt so surreal.
"Come here," I say, reaching my hand out for him to grab again.
I needed him to hear me.
I needed him to understand.
I needed him to see himself the way I have always seen him, the person he has been all along. JJ takes my hand in his, sitting down on the edge of the hospital bed being careful not to hurt me in any way.
I play with his fingers, my free hand pushing hair away from his forehead as I smile up at him. "Baby... I need you to know that you're more than what you think you are, do you know what I see when I look at you?"
JJ doesn't respond, chewing on his bottom lip with teary eyes as he takes another glance at our daughter before looking back at me.
"I see... The same boy, who grew into this amazing man that I always knew he would become. I see the boy who was there for me when my whole world fell apart, who took my hand and showed me a light I didn't even know was possible. You have and have forever been, the light in my life. I've been waiting for a long time for you to see just how worthy you are, just how deserving you are. That little girl, our little girl JJ... She's made from you, and I can only hope she has your courage... Your strength, you're survival skills," He laughs lightly at my last comment.
"I see my JJ," I rub his cheek with my thumb. "I just wish you could see him too."
JJ leans into my touch, pulling my hand away and placing a kiss on my palm. "Go to sleep, my love. You're exhausted." He whispered to me before stepping away from the bed. "I'm going to grab a coffee from downstairs, I'll be right back."
"Sh, sh, ch, sh..." The sounds JJ's lips so softly, my eyes slowly fluttering opened. I turn my head to the side, freezing as I spot a sight that makes me so happy... I could cry.
JJ holds our daughter in his arms, rocking her back and forth as he looked down upon her little face. "Hi, Emilia." Tears are escaping his eyes, holding his– Our daughter so close to his chest like he was afraid she would slip away.
"You're so beautiful... You know you got that from your Mama." A smile makes its way onto my face, listening in on the first conversation he would ever share with our baby girl.
"I'm going to protect you, always. I'd lay down my life for you girls... My best girls," JJ presses his lips so gently to her forehead, her tiny little hand reaching out as a soft groan falls from her lips. Tears fill my eyes at the breathtaking sight before me.
"I can't promise that I'll be perfect, but perfect's overrated... Right?" JJ lets out a soft laugh that is followed by a sniffle. "All I can promise you is that I'll love you with every bone in my body... Just like I love your Mama, I'll be the best I can be. Forever, my girl, you will be."
≪ Sixteen Years Later ≫
Emilia Logan Maybank
Lena Maybank
"You're going to be nice right?" Emilia practically begs JJ, her hands clamped together in front of her face as she stared at him. "I really like him, Dad."
JJ rolls his eyes, turning to face the wall. "We'll see." I just shake my head, a soft smile on my face as I smack the back of his head lightly. "He'll be good, Emilia. I'll keep him in line."
Emilia smiles at me gratefully, just as the doorbell rings. Her eyes go wide in excitement as she shrieks, running to the door. I giggle at my overly excited daughter, slightly heartbroken at the thought of her going on her very first date.
JJ stares at me with an unamused look. "What?" I ask innocently.
JJ narrows his eyes at me, "I'm not promising to be anything but what I think the kid deserves." He states as if it's so obvious, "Oh baby, you know her judgement is good. If she trusts the boy, let's have a little faith in her." I place my hands on his chest.
"Lee B, that's our daughter. Our only daughter... I'm not letting some lame man-child have his hands all over our pure little girl," He whines. "If John B were here, he'd back me up!"
I giggle. "Béatrice is fourteen, I'm sure John B will be going through the exact same thing you are soon enough. Then, you two can complain together."
"Come on! Don't make me be nice to him, hey Charlie... Back me up here!" JJ turns towards our twelve-year-old son, face in his phone only glancing up at us for a second. "Uh, yeah sure." Charlie shrugs, turning back to his game on his phone.
My son resembled a lot of my mother's features, it amazed me. But you could definitely see JJ in him, sometimes I could swear I was looking at the brunette version of a young JJ. Charlie, without a doubt, took after JJ's attitude.
JJ rolls his eyes, "Uh, yeah sure." He mimicked his son, "Great back up, little man." He says sarcastically, just as he goes to say something else to me, his eyes narrow at the sight of Emilia and her date walking into the living room.
"Hi, you must be Riley! I'm Emilia's mom, Lena." I extend my hand to the clearly nervous young man before me, he seemed sweet enough.
I wait for JJ to introduce himself but as a swallowing sound comes from Riley, I turn to look back at my stubborn husband. He's glaring at the poor child with his trying to be intimidating face.
"That's my husband, JJ. He's harmless, don't you worry." I try to ease the boy's nerves, Emilia sends JJ a look before smiling awkwardly at her date.
"Well we should go-" JJ decides to speak up before Emilia could finish her sentence.
"Where do you plan on taking my daughter, mister?" I mentally smack myself on the forehead at his trying to be scary voice. Sending Emilia an apologetic smile as she looks at her father in complete disbelief.
"Dad." She mutters harshly to him. "Uh, oh... Uh just bowling and dinner, sir." Riley stumbles his words.
"Mhm, and what are your intentions? Because you know, she is a virgin and I intend for it to stay that way." I gasp, turning to face JJ for a short second at the same time Emilia shouts, "DAD!"
"Uh, you ready to go Lia?" Riley rubs the back of his neck, unsure of what to say back to my stupid husbands comment.
"Gross. That's my cue to go to my room." Charlie groans, standing from the couch and leaving the room. He stops for a second, turning to Riley. "Don't hurt my sister, loser."
"Alright, you two can go and have fun now!" I tell him noticing the bright red colour that has spread across Emilia's face. Shooing them toward the door before my husband and son could cause Emilia any more embarrassment.
"I want her home by ten! No later, Ryan!" JJ shouts after them just as I close the door. I turn to face him with a disappointed look on my face, "It's Riley." I correct him, shaking my head.
I move toward the living room window, pulling the blinds slightly and peaking my eyes through. JJ pulls them back even farther, not being discreet at all.
"Ryan... Riley, same shit— I'll kill him!" JJ snaps as Riley's hand drops lower on our daughters back, I grab his arm and pull him back before he can make his way to the door.
"JJ!" I laugh at his protectiveness. "Let her have this night, baby."
JJ pouts. "That's my girl, Lee. He's just some Pogue who doesn't deserve her!" He exclaimed as I cup his cheeks. "And what the fuck is that Lia, shit? Her name is Emilia, not fucking Lia." He rambled on.
"Baby, baby..." I laugh. "She'll be fine. I promise you."
JJ sighed, falling down onto the couch and pulling me onto his lap. "She's growing up so fast, Lee. Why is she growing up so fast?" I place little kisses all around his face, humming as his hands find my butt.
"That's life, J." I mumble against his skin, sucking gently on his neck below his ear.
"Hm, life sucks." He whispered, running his hands underneath my shirt and placing them on my bare back. "Don't know what I'd do without you, Lee B."
I grin, pulling back and placing my forehead against his. "Good thing you'll never have to find out."
JJ places his lips on mine, pulling my tighter toward him. "You know," I mumble. "There was a time when you were just another Pogue trying to get in my pants... Look at us now," I joked.
JJ glares at me. "Yeah, no. One, he's not good enough for her and never will be. Two... They are not us, nobody will ever be us."
Butterflies burst in my stomach. Marriage, two children and years down the road, the same butterflies always managed to find their way back to my stomach— JJ would never get tiring.
He'll always be intoxicating... Addicting. My favourite kind of drug.
"Yeah, no one will ever be like us... Huh?" I laugh, placing my lips back onto his.
"GROSS, can you guys not?" Charlie shouts, I immediately jump off of JJ's lap and turn to face our son who's hands cover his eyes, a frown on his face before turning and rushing back up the stairs.
"Love you, buddy!" JJ laughs, turning back at me with a smug look on his face. "Shall we continue?" I giggle as JJ pulls my face back to his.
Yeah, no one will ever be like us.
AND I'M DONE. My final goodbye to Lena and JJ :(
Thanks for joining me on this ride... Check out my new JJ story... Perfectly, Imperfect