JJ Maybank
I hung up the phone with my heart in my throat as my phone fell out of my hands. I felt like I was going to be sick like I was about to throw up all over John B's living room floor.
It couldn't possibly be true. It couldn't be.
"Dude, what's wrong?" John B asks me, but it sounded like it was muffled and coming from a different room. My body was present but I mentally was not, my eyes began to sting while my head felt like it was spinning in circles.
Lena, I thought. No, it can't be true. Was this what an out-of-body experience felt like?
"JJ!" John B shouts, slapping me across the face. "What's wrong? Who just called you?" John B shakes me, and that's when I realize that I'm crying. But not for me...
The look of panic on John B's face brings me back to reality, I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand before pushing to my feet and almost knocking John B over.
My heart pounds as I grab my dirt bike keys, "I have to go." I announced, my voice cracking as I ran outside and jumped onto my dirt bike.
"JJ!" John B shouts after me, following me outside his house. "JJ!" He shouts again, watching as I take off on my bike in the direction that I needed to go.
I had to get that. And I had to get there now. I thought, blinking away my tears.
Three Hours Prior
Lena Boggs
"Lena, you need more food than that!" Carson Sower chuckled as he glanced down at my plate, before piling up mashed sweet potatoes on my plate.
"Okay, Dad! Chill out on all the food, are you trying to blow her stomach up?" Addie exclaimed sarcastically, sending me a wink that made me giggle silently. "What? What? Your mother's cooking is amazing! I just want her to get a taste good." Carson laughs, shoveling food into his mouth.
Darla smiles at me from across the table as she cuts into her steak. "So, Lena, what do your parents do for a living?" She questioned me, as I took a fork full of peas into my mouth.
I'm caught off guard by her question, chewing my food quickly so I could answer her. "Oh, my Mom's a librarian and my Dad is a manager at a construction company," I told her, smiling softly.
"That's lovely," Darla smiled. I look over at Ayden when I feel his hand on my knee underneath the table, he gives me a wink making me smile before turning my attention back to Carson.
"You know when I first met Darla... She was working at a library," Carson announces, lifting his glass and taking a sip. "Wait, really?" Addie looks between her parents, shocked. "Yes, really." Darla confirmed with a nod of her head.
"And grandma and grandpa were okay with you dating her, Dad?" Addie asked and Carson chuckled softly. "Not in the slightest... But they came around." I
Carson looks at me. "My parents came from wealth, they also liked to have the only people they spent time around with... Have wealth," He tells me. "But it wasn't my cup of tea, which caused some arguments with my parents." He grins to himself, shaking his head as he reminisces.
"Oh, do I remember all the comments your mother made when you introduced me to them and they found out I lived in a low-income family!" Darla laughs, "Took a while for them to come around."
Carson rolls his eyes, a playful smile on his face. "How could they not come around? I mean look at you... Still the same fox you were in your twenties." Carson winks at his wife. Addie fake gags, "Oh, disgusting!"
Carson and Darla roll their eyes at Addie's behavior. "What I'm saying is, money doesn't make a person. You can have amazing things, but still, be rotten in the middle. Personality... Personality is what's important. Love can't be bought." He looks around at his children and me.
"In this household," Carson's voice becomes sterner as he glances back and forth between Addie and Ayden. "We could care less about money, we care about how one treats those around them."
I couldn't stop the smiling from forming on my face as his words, wondering how different Outer Banks would be if every Kook had the same mindset as the Sowers. They made you feel equal, and I loved that.
The rest of dinner went by, and when I offered to help Darla in the kitchen she refused. I found myself outside, walking along Ayden's backyard with him by my side.
I hum to myself as I look at the beautiful garden filled with roses, daisies, and sunflowers. "You know," Ayden spoke softly, taking my hand into his. "My family really likes you."
I turn to face him, our chests inches apart watching as Ayden looks down at our hands. He begins playing with my fingers, grinning to himself. "Is that so?" I giggle.
"Mhm." Ayden nods, looking back at me and interlocking our fingers. "Well, they are in luck," I joke. "Because I like them too."
Ayden laughs quickly, lowering his head to mine before connecting our lips for a brief kiss. "Addie's been asking me..." He pulls away, rubbing his nose with mine. "What we are, and I can't help but notice that I don't know what to tell her." He whispered, making my smile drop.
This doesn't go unnoticed by Ayden as he pulls away a bit in worry. "What's wrong?"
I sigh, stepping away from him and pulling my hand out of his. "I told you... I'm not ready for any kind of relationship yet." I mutter looking back down at the flowers. "I know that," Ayden scoffed, "But you let me kiss and we hang out doing things couples normally do, yet you still don't want to put a label on it? We are practical-" I cut him off.
"Practically, but we're not." I snap, instantly feeling guilty as I take notice of the hurt on his face. "Ayden... I told you from the start that it'll take time, I'm not ready yet. You have to understand that." I say this time in a much softer tone, not wanting to argue with him.
"I'm trying to understand, but I don't know what I am to you. Am I a rebound? Something to distract you from facing your actual feelings?" I gasp, looking up into Ayden's eyes and watch as they harden. "No... No, Ayden, that's not it." I denied, placing a hand on his cheek.
"Then what?" He sighed, flicking away at my touch and making me frown. "Isn't it enough to know that I care about you? You know everything that's been going on in my life and I'm still trying to figure things out," I plead, "I like hanging out with you, I care about you but I'm not ready to be your girlfriend. Can we just keep it like that for a while longer?"
Ayden's lip presses into a thin line as he closes his eyes, exhaling through his nose. I waited for a response, I didn't know what I felt for Ayden but I did know that I'm not ready to stop spending time with him... But if he was going to push me into deciding what I want, I can't do that. I won't.
So I could only hope that for right now, what I was able to tell him would be enough for him.
"Promise me that you won't leave for JJ?" He randomly blurts, opening his eyes to stare back into mine. All I could see was hope within them, I suddenly felt easy- My thoughts became hard to process.
Could I promise him that? I thought to myself. I knew that JJ and I agreed to stop things, to strictly have a friendship-only relationship even after we confessed our feelings to each other so it should have been an easy promise... But why did I find myself struggling to form the words?
"Promise me." He repeated with more desperation in his voice, almost like a demand.
"I... I do, I promise." I promised him breathlessly, Ayden breaks out into a soft smile before cupping my cheeks in his hands and placing his lips back onto mine. I returned the kiss, my hands falling to his sides but it didn't feel as comforting anymore. It felt strange having Ayden make me promise something like that like it meant that I was also promising to only be his...
The kiss felt more suffocating this time, but maybe it was just me overthinking it. So pushed the feeling away and smiled at him when he pulled away and checked the time on his gold watch that looked like it cost more money than my house was worth.
"I should get you home now, it's almost eight." He tells me, taking my hand in his and placing a kiss on my knuckles. For some reason I found myself without words, all I could do was simply nod at him and follow his lead back towards his car.
When I got home, I called out for my Mom but got no response. So I made my way up to my bedroom, looking at myself in my mirror and frowning. I ran a hand through my hair, maybe I missed the blonde too?
I didn't like how different I looked, running that same hand down over the clothes I wore to Ayden's. It wasn't my kind of style, the bell-bottom jeans with three buttons on the front and a blue blouse tucked into them. I wore them to at least look like I fit in, dressing more formally... But even still, anyone from the outside looking in could tell I didn't belong at the table where the men wore dress shirts and khaki pants and the women wore dresses as if they were at a formal restaurant.
I knew they didn't care, and maybe I shouldn't either but I did. I was putting on a show, dressing up in ways that I never have before all because I was ashamed that I didn't come from money.
"Promise me that you won't leave for JJ?" I cringe as Ayden's voice echoes in my mind. JJ would have never asked me to promise something like that... JJ would never expect me to dress like this—
I groan as I pull my pants off and shirt over my head, slipping into a pair of leggings I got from a thrift shop and a graphic tee-shirt that was two sizes too big for me, and climbing onto my bed.
It was unfair of me to think those things when all the Sower's have done is treat me with kindness.
I decided I wanted to call Kiara, but as I looked down at my phone I frowned at a message from Ayden although I had only left him like, not even ten minutes ago.
Ayden Sower
miss you x
"What the fuck?" I whisper under my breath, cringing. I jump at the sound of glass breaking downstairs, and then the sound of my Mom screaming.
"MOM!" I scream, jumping off my bed and rushing downstairs in fear. When I reached the bottom, I found my Mom standing in the middle of our living room with her hand on her chest that was rising and falling at a rapid speed.
"Mom, Mom? What happened?" I question her, shouting as I glance over at the shattered wine bottle on the floor with red liquid all around it. She turns to me, her makeup smudged under her eyes and shirt all wrinkled.
"Lena, baby, come here." She tells me, extending her arms out to me with tears rolling down her face. Her lips were puffy, her eyes bloodshot like she had been crying for hours. The shoes on her feet showed me she had only gotten home not too long ago, as I made my way towards her.
When my hands touch hers, she pulls us down on the couch. My hands are in hers on her lap, as she chokes back sobs. My heart is racing, wondering what could have happened.
"There is something I need to tell you, honey." She sniffled, lip quivering. "What, Mom?" My voice comes out shaky, panic is all I could feel.
"Your..." She sobs. "Your father, Lena... There was an accident at work."
Five Minutes Prior
JJ Maybank
"Dude, answer your phone!" John B throws a pillow at me, waking me up from my sleep. "It's been ringing for the last three minutes!" He snaps at me as I groan, sitting upright on his couch watching as he leaves the room before I look down at the unknown caller I.D displayed on my screen.
"Yeah?" I answered, pressing the phone to my ear and yawning. "JJ?" A woman's voice breaks through the phone, making me frown.
"Yeah?" I repeated. "It-It's Coreena, Lena's Mom." My eyes widen and suddenly I'm filled with concern.
"What's going on? Is she okay?" I immediately asked, clenching the phone tighter in my hands. "Could you come ov-over? She's going to need you tonight."
"What's going on, Mrs. Boggs?" I let out a shaky breath, I could tell Coreena was trying her best not to cry. "I-It's Logan, JJ!" She sobs, I hear the sound of a car turning off. "He's dead! And I-I... Lena-Lena..." she struggles, her voice chopping.
"She's going to need you! She needs you, JJ! I ca-can't..." She breaks down over the phone. "Please..." She cried softly into the phone, everything around me felt like it was going in slow motion.
My eyes were wide, slowly beginning to gloss over with tears. "I... I'll be there," I whispered, before pulling the phone away from my ear. I hung up the phone with my heart in my throat as my phone fell out of my hands. I felt like I was going to be sick like I was about to throw up all over John B's living room floor.
It couldn't possibly be true. It couldn't be.
"Dude, what's wrong?" John B asks me, but it sounded like it was muffled and coming from a different room. My body was present but I mentally was not, my eyes began to sting while my head felt like it was spinning in circles.
Lena, I thought. No, it can't be true. Was this what an out-of-body experience felt like?
"JJ!" John B shouts, slapping me across the face. "What's wrong? Who just called you?" John B shakes me, and that's when I realize that I'm crying. But not for me...
The look of panic on John B's face brings me back to reality, I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand before pushing to my feet and almost knocking John B over.
My heart pounds as I grab my dirt bike keys, "I have to go." I announced, my voice cracking as I ran outside and jumped onto my dirt bike.
"JJ!" John B shouts after me, following me outside his house. "JJ!" He shouts again, watching as I take off on my bike in the direction that I needed to go.
I had to get that. And I had to get there now. I thought, blinking away my tears.
Lena's house came into view as I ripped into her driveway, turning off the bike and not bothering to push the kickstand down, letting it drop to the ground as I rushed up to her doorstep. I didn't bother to knock, everything in me screamed that I needed to get to her as soon as possible.
My heart was pounding in my chest as I twisted the doorknob, pushing the front door wide open and stepping into her house. My heart fell to the pit of my stomach as the sound of crying filled the tiny house.
I slowly made my way towards the living room, tears pooled in my eyes as the crying became louder with each step I took.
There, I'm met with a sight that sends pain through me in ways I've never felt before.
Coreena holds her sobbing daughter in her arms, the girl my heart belonged to sat broken in front of me and there wasn't anything on the planet that could fix her.
Coreena's eyes met mine, begging me to come forward, to help her daughter as she told me to do. I felt frozen in my place, staring at the girl I was in love with, in so much pain and not knowing what I or anybody could possibly do to help her.
So I step forward, and then I take another step. One after another until I'm standing right in front of them, dropping down to my knees and pressing my hands against her back.
Her body rocked with sobs, as Coreena moved her towards me. Without any hesitation I take her into my arms, her broken eyes meet mine as I feel a tear slip down my cheek.
"JJ," She cries, her arms wrapping around my neck and burying her face into my chest. She clung to me in desperation, a broken girl in the arms of a boy who just didn't know how to love her right.
"He's gone!" She sobbed, screaming into my chest as she fisted the back of my shirt. I tighten my grip on the girl I loved holding her head against my chest while she cried out for her father who could no longer be here for her.
My heart broke with hers, and I wasn't sure if anything could help her.
"He's gone, JJ." I rocked her in my arms, keeping her as close to my body as I could. Pressing a kiss on the top of her head, looking up at her Mom who was staring down at us, teary-eyed and a hand over her mouth.
She walked out of the room, leaving us alone.
"I know baby," I whispered into her hair, closing my eyes and praying to anyone who was listening, just to take the pain from the girl in my arms. The girl I would do anything for.
"I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry, Lee B." Nuzzling my head into her neck, all I could do was cry with her.
- - - -
Okay, this hurt to write.
I don't have any words to say really, I keep putting Lena through so much
Xoxo
A