It was now Friday night in Azerbaijan and it was Alex's third night in her hotel room on her own. Her third night of not sleeping.
It was odd because she'd slept fine at Seb's Swiss home and it wasn't like she was staying in a separate hotel to him, he was only two floors up, so he was still in the same building but she just couldn't make herself drop off to sleep no matter how hard she tried.
Like the previous nights she tossed and turned, threw the duvet off and then pulled it back over her again, swapped the pillows around and laid there with one leg out, then both, then none. As she had in her house in Switzerland, she was even trying to sleep with the lights on - just in case. When she did get comfortable her mind would spark into life and tap her on the shoulder, demanding a long chat.
Nothing was off limits in the endless list of subjects that her brain was wanting to go through. From what happened in to Monaco, to unpleasant memories of her parents, her miscarriages and anything in between - her mind was whirring constantly. It was like lots of little voices in her head. She could hear herself yelling at her parents, screaming for mercy as Soren kicked her in the stomach while she laid on the floor and crying in a hospital bed because she knew she'd lost her baby. Her head was full of could-haves and should-haves and then it went to Seb. His presence had become something of a comfort blanket for her, he was her safety net since she'd told him about Soren and she was starting to become dependent on him and that, for her, was quite unsettling. She well remembered being dependent on Soren, during the good days (and despite the hell he'd put her through there had been some) she'd not wanted for anything. He'd taken care of everything - the bills, the groceries, the chores (they'd had a cleaner for a while), the money. He'd bought all her clothes, shoes and lingerie for her, ensuring that her wardrobe was packed with everything in the latest colours and styles and that her drawers were filled with the finest designer lingerie. She'd always had expensive designer bags from Chanel and Louis Vuitton and he'd even bought all her makeup and perfume for her. Looking back she could see that really, it was his way of controlling her. Soren had controlled what she'd worn, how she'd looked and even how she'd smelled. He'd been in charge of every aspect of her life until she'd become completely dependent on him. Seb was different, she could already tell that. While Gisela was very much a typical, kept F1 WAG, she earned her own money and was very much in charge of her own life and Seb doted on her. Far from showing his affection with the material things, he'd show his love in other ways (excluding the times she'd hear them fuck); little touches, the way he'd look at her, smile at her, hold her and kiss her on her forehead. And with Alex herself, he'd been kind, caring and compassionate, he was a good listener and had encouraged and succeeded in making her open up to him. He'd become a friend since she'd been staying at his home and was a huge source of comfort and support. She really felt like he had her back, like she could depend on him. And then there were the moments they'd shared; she knew that Seb was attracted to her and she was to him too. His touch would make her body heat up and yearn for more, she'd sense the electricity between them when their hands would innocently brush against each other's as they walked or even when she was working on him and she was certain that he could feel it too. Sometimes the chemistry would be there if they simply looked at each other. She would see the desire burning in his eyes that he probably thought he was hiding and knew he was having thoughts that a married man like him shouldn't be having. He was curious about her and rather bizarrely, she felt as though he'd become even more curious and attracted to her since she'd told him what she'd been through. He was starting to behave differently around her, he was more protective, more tactile and attentive to her. It felt almost like their roles had been reversed, he was taking care of her when she was meant to be taking care of him. Laying here all alone, she was suddenly forced to face her feelings for him. She wasn't used to feeling like this. As she sat up and began to really examine how she felt about him, she realised that she'd never felt like this, not even in during the good times with Soren or during her relationship with Karl. She wasn't sure if it was love but what she did know was that thinking of Seb made her feel warm inside, it made her heart beat that bit faster and butterflies erupt in her stomach. The more time she was spending with him, the more time she wanted to spend with him and when he wasn't with her she found herself thinking about him more and more.
Deciding to try and take her over-active mind off of him, she grabbed her phone from under her pillow. A game or two of Candy Crush would do the trick, wouldn't it?
Nope. Not at all.
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Sunday morning had arrived, race day. Alex wriggled and then stretched, this sofa was proving to be uncomfortable to sleep on but then getting some uncomfortable sleep was better than getting no sleep at all. Looking down at the floor, she located her phone from where it had fallen earlier in the night. Unlocking the screen provided her with images of Seb that she'd searched online - again. She closed the window and then locked the phone again before dropping it to the floor with a huff. This was silly, it was as if she'd got some kind of schoolgirl crush on him. Two nights running now she'd ended up on Google Images, typing Sebastian Vettel into the search bar at the top. She was able to look at and touch the real thing pretty much whenever she wanted, looking at him online felt like cyber stalking.
The door to the bedroom opened and a very sleepy looking German wandered out, rubbing the back of his neck. Like the morning before, his crumpled navy t-shirt and grey sweat pants told her that he must have slept in them last night; was that because of herself being here too? Had he been worried that she'd creep into his bed in the middle of the night or did he always sleep in those when away from home? He certainly never looked like that when he was home, she'd always assumed that he slept naked which was a very pleasant thought to have.
"Morning." He croaked before stopping to yawn. "Sleep well?"
"Better, yeah, thanks." She sat up, still feeling a bit silly that she'd had to resort to sleeping on his sofa because she couldn't sleep in her own room.
"So you actually got some sleep then?" He stretched his arms up in the air, making his t-shirt ride up a touch to reveal a little trail of hair that led down to.....you-know-where.
Her eyes automatically homed in on the slither of bare skin, even though she'd seen it countless times before when she'd been working with him. I'd love to run my tongue down that little trail, feel him shiver as I get closer to his dick and feel his hands on my head, trying to push me down to it. Maybe I'd get as far down as it but stop at the last second, hear him quietly beg me in German....bitte...bitte....
"Alex?" He called her name for a second time. She looked to be fixated on him, staring at his abdomen, unblinking and lost in thought. Dirty thoughts he wondered to himself.
Her shortened name snapped her back into the room and her face quickly turned from embarrassed at being caught staring to a scowl at having to remind him yet again not to shorten her name like that.
"I asked you if you actually got some sleep?" He asked again, trying to ignore the little frisson of excitement that burst out into little bubbles in his belly. He couldn't quite recall the last time Gisela had looked at him like that. It wasn't that they had a dull sex life, far from it, but nowadays it was always him who instigated things and very rarely her.
"Yeah, I got a few hours." She replied, she wasn't going to admit that she'd been on her phone looking at images of him.
"Good." Things suddenly felt a bit awkward and they both found themselves not knowing what to say each other. It was like their attraction to each other had become something of an elephant in the room, large enough for them to not notice it but neither wanting to strike up a conversation about it. The room went quiet for a moment and they simply looked at each other; Alex from where she was sitting on the sofa, holding the blanket over herself and Seb stood there, still trying to wake himself up. He noticed again how she had a long sleeved top on, knowing what she'd been through with Soren it made him start to think that there was a real possibility that she was hiding something more sinister beneath her sleeves.
"Right." She began, breaking the silence. "I'll go back to my room, shower, get dressed and then meet you back here for a warmup, yeah?"
"Yeh." He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck again.
She picked up on it, neck issues could be quite common in this kind of sport. "Neck ok?"
He realised what he was doing and dropped his arm down immediately. "Yeh, it's fine."
"Good." She got up and folded the blanket up before slipping her feet into her trainers.
Seb's eyes fell down to her bare legs, she was wearing shorts. Even in trainers she had the most beautiful, shapely legs, he could only imagine what they'd feel like wrapped around him. Then he internally scolded himself for having such thoughts.
She smirked to herself as she noticed and headed for the door. "Thanks for letting me stay, I'll see you in a bit."
She'd gone before he could he reply.
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"Oooh.....shit." Alex winced as the monitors showed Max Verstappen's Red Bull crashing on the main straight following a left rear tyre failure that was almost identical to Lance Stroll's on lap thirty-two. Ever since that moment she'd been worried about it happening to Seb. Now that it had happened to Max, she was getting really worried. Her feelings for him were manifesting themselves in new ways and she wasn't sure if she liked it.
"He's ok." Britta pointed to the screen, showing poor Max kicking his stricken car. "Poor Max, this will fall straight into Lewis's hands."
Glancing at another monitor to see the current positions, Alex broke out into a smile. "Forget Lewis, Seb's on the podium."
Before Britta could reply, everyone around them sprung into action. The race had been red flagged in order for the marshals to clear the track safely. While Britta didn't have to do much during a stoppage like this, Alex would be required to meet up with Seb once he'd stopped in the pit lane. She watched as Alex seemed to automatically know what to do and dashed off to grab whatever kit their driver would need. Finally Alex seemed to have become a major part of 'Team Seb'. This new, more open, Alex was much more friendly and warm than the cool, closed off woman that Britta had first met and if Seb's performance today was anything to go by then the change in Alex was massively benefiting him too.
Alex was still understandably a bit wary this weekend, worried that Soren could be here but they'd been told that there was no record of him buying a ticket to the event or having entered the Paddock Club. The team had also bought in extra security to make sure that a repeat of Monaco wouldn't happen. Thankfully their investigation had concluded and no blame had been given to her, it had just made the team question their own security protocols and tighten things up where they could.
Alex still felt nervous as she jogged down the pit lane, surrounded by Seb's team and garage crews from other teams. It wasn't just the thought of Soren possibly being here that freaked her out, it was the very idea that he could see her on tv, that whenever she was with Seb and the cameras were there, that Soren could see her too.
Reaching Seb's AMR-21, he was already out and removing his helmet. The hint of a grin on his face as he pulled off his balaclava giving away the fact that he knew he was in the podium positions. "Well. Fancy meeting you here." He joked while removing his ear pieces and shoving everything into his helmet which he then placed into the cockpit of the car.
"I work here, how about you?" She joked back, passing him his drinks bottle so that he could take on some much needed fluids.
"I just turn up and drive fast cars." He replied in a nonchalant tone, keeping the straw between his lips. "You ok?"
She looked around for a moment, still checking, still with that weird feeling of being watched.
"Hey." Seb reached out to put a hand on her arm. Again, for a warm day she was wearing long sleeves. "He's not here, we have it on good authority. He could even end up being banned from attending races."
"Yeah. You're right, I'm sorry." She pulled at the neck of her long sleeved tee, she was starting to feel hot.
"Don't be." He was about to ask if she was feeling too hot and how come she never wore short sleeves but he was approached by his race engineer making Alex take a respectful step back. Maybe one day he'd find out what she was hiding.
Half an hour later the cars were back on the grid, re-starting the race from a standing start for a two lap, intense, sprint to the chequered flag.
Alex found herself biting her nails; even though Seb was set for a third place trophy she knew that he'd be wanting more and hoped that he wouldn't make any rash moves.
The red lights illuminated one by one......and then it was go.
Lewis made an error, locking up into the first turn, his tyres smoking and ending up in a run off area. Seb was now in second place and his garage was going nuts. All he had to do now was to follow Sergio Perez for the two laps and Aston Martin's first podium would be theirs.
For Alex, this was exactly why she loved her job. It wasn't just about leaving Soren, her family and her old oppressive life behind, it was also about working with athletes and building them into winning machines.
And as her feelings for him swirled around inside, she knew that Seb was the ultimate. She'd never work for anyone like him again in her lifetime.
She'd didn't want to work for anyone else. This man had got under her skin, she'd let him become a friend and in her heart she knew that she wanted more. She still wanted to wreck his marriage but not for the reasons that she originally did. Things had changed and now she wanted to destroy his marriage because she wanted him.
And Aleksandra Van de Berg always got what she wanted. If only Alex didn't get in the way.