Lena Boggs
I groan, rolling over onto my side as I wake up to banging on my front door once again. I tried covering my face with a pillow, but that didn't seem to work either as the banging just got louder the longer I didn't answer. My head started pounding as I pushed myself out of bed, grabbing a sweater and pulling it over top of my head before making my way downstairs.
"Lena Boggs, open this goddamn door!" I froze at the sound of Kiara's voice outside, realizing she was the one banging. I glanced at the clock to realize it was one in the afternoon, cursing to myself knowing my Mom was at work and I couldn't have her open the door and tell her I wasn't home.
"I know you're in there," Kiara shouts as she stops banging, "Please just let me in."
I inhale through my nose and exhale through my mouth as I slowly reach forward and place my hand on the lock.
My hand ran through every scenario that could happen, maybe she'll punch me, yell at me, tell me she never wants to see me again- And I couldn't blame her either. I knew that she was beginning to like him, even if she never told me personally I could see it on her face anytime she was with him... Yet I still slept with him, still prayed that he would be mine instead of hers. I was a bad friend.
As I turned the lock, I slowly pulled the door open. Kiara stood before me, one hand holding the opposite arm as she stared forward at me.
We don't move, we just stare at each other. My hand still holding onto the side of the door as I lean my body weight against it, a small frown on her face made anxiety spark inside of me. I wasn't ready to lose Kiara as a friend.
"We should talk." She says.
John B Routledge
An Hour Later
My arms are crossed over my chest as I stare down at where JJ was passed out on my couch. His one arm hung off the side, onto the floor with a blanket covering his waist. I cringe at the drool pooling at the side of his mouth before I look down at my coffee table and lift the cup.
There's some liquid at the bottom with no scent to it so I can only assume it to be water, so without a second thought, I dump the remaining liquid onto JJ's head. He gasps as he jumps wake, glancing around the room before his eyes fall onto me.
"What the hell, man?" He exclaimed, wiping the water off of his face as he sat up. I glare at him as he reaches forward and grabs his vape before taking a hit off of it and noticing the look on my face.
"What climbed up your ass bro?" He chuckled, slumping back into the couch as I scoffed. "Do you not have any recollection of last night? What you did?" JJ's eyebrows knitted in confusion for a second before his eyes widened in realization.
"Oh, fuck..." He runs a hand down his face, remembering what happened last night when he was drunk before looking back up at me. I grab a pillow and throw it at his chest, "You've been sleeping with Lena for a whole year you dumbass!" I exclaimed, making him flinch.
"Dude I have a killer hangover. Can you lower your voice?" His carefree tone makes me angrier, remembering the tears I saw in Lena's eyes last night.
"JJ! I'm fucking serious man, she's our best friend and you've been sleeping with her for a year without any of us knowing! And then suddenly you're all over Kie? What's that about?" JJ looks up at me, frowning. "Do you not even care that you hurt Lena?"
JJ throws his arms up. "Of course I care, John B! I never wanted to hurt her, I don't know what I was thinking alright man?"
I drop myself down onto the chair, pressing my fingers to my forehead. "Why did you even start sleeping with her? She's been our best friend for years." I couldn't fathom how it would have happened, and I can't believe I never saw how in love Lena was with JJ- Thinking about it made perfect sense, all the signs were there.
"I... I don't know, okay? It happened after we had that fight when you started mackin' on Sarah. I slept at her house and then we ended up sleeping together... Then we just... Never stopped." JJ leans forward, resting his head in his hands. "I swear John B, I never wanted to hurt Lee."
"Well, it doesn't really matter if you wanted to or didn't want to because you did. And what about Kie? Why have you all of a sudden sparked an interest in her?" JJ looks up at me, hand covering his mouth as he sighs.
"I don't know, it's just... I don't know."
I couldn't help but feel frustrated with his answers. "Well, why don't you know! These are our best friends, JJ! Have you ever thought about how it would feel for either of them or did you only care about yourself?"
JJ stands up. "Of course I thought about it! I just... Didn't think about it too much." I groan, rubbing my forehead. "You give me a headache."
"Lena's not just the type to fuck around, and you knew that. How did you not know she had feelings for you?" JJ walks towards the kitchen, grabbing another beer making me frown. "What? It's the perfect hangover cure."
"JJ," I said sternly, glaring at him.
He sighs and leans against the counter, opening the can and taking a sip. "I know she's not... But I never really put it together, I guess."
"Does Lena mean anything to you?"
I watch as JJ's face drops, lowering his can from his mouth as he averts his eyes from me. "She's my best friend." I frown, noticing the shift in his tone as he licks his bottom lip.
"That's not what I meant and you know it." JJ's jaw clenches, and I take in the way that his grip tights around the can. Before he looks back at me, all emotion leaves his face as he raises his can back to his lips.
"No... No she doesn't mean anything to me in that way."
JJ has been my friend since the third grade, and I could call bullshit on JJ better than anybody else. And the words that just came out of his mouth, was the most amount of bullshit I have ever heard from him.
Lena Boggs
An Hour Before
Kiara and I stand on opposite ends of my kitchen, neither of us dared to speak.
"I just-"
"You know-"
We both spoke at the same time before chuckling softly at ourselves. "This is silly, why are we acting like we haven't been best friends forever?" Kiara rubs her eye, before sighing. I chew down on my bottom lip, shrugging.
"Why didn't you tell me?" She asks in a hushed tone, turning her gaze to the countertop not wanting to look at me. "I... We agreed not to tell any of you." I admit shamefully.
"But why didn't you tell me when he and I started..." She stopped herself before looking back up at me. "You can say it, you know," I reassured her, but to my surprise, she threw her hands up.
"No, I can't because I, myself don't even know what it was! We never discussed it, and I didn't even have time to let my brain catch up to what we were doing!" She shouts before running a hand through her hair and groaning. I flinch slightly at the volume of her voice before debating on what I wanted to say.
"I saw how happy you were with him, I saw how happy he looked with you... I didn't want to wreck that for you both." I confessed, lowering my eyes in shame. "So instead you let me silently hurt you?"
When I don't reply Kiara steps forward. "I would have never done anything with him if I had known how you felt." I shake my head. "That's exactly why I didn't want to say anything! Kiara, it doesn't matter how much I love JJ, I would never step in the way of your happiness! That wasn't what I wanted!" I shout at her in frustration.
Kiara frowns. "When are you going to learn to put yourself before everyone else for once!" She shouts back as I roll my eyes. "Oh, yeah. And how would you have felt, Kie?"
Kiara crosses her arms. "Sure, it would have sucked at first Lena. But knowing how strongly you feel for him, I would have been fine with it. I never wanted to hurt you... You need to start considering your feelings too," She steps forward and pulls my hands into hers. "You're one of the best girls that I know. You're not a second choice and you certainly shouldn't be treated like one, and you should have more respect for yourself, Lena. I wasn't crying yesterday because I found out that you and JJ had been sleeping together, I was crying because I saw how hurt you were and knowing I was part of the reason... Killed me."
My lip begins to quiver as Kiara stares at me with so much sympathy in her eyes, making me want to bawl my face off. "You are my best friend, L. You always will be no matter what... I wish you came to me, to know that I caused you that much pain... I never want to do that again."
I pull Kiara in for a hug, needing to feel close with my best friend standing in front of me. Her arms wrap around me as we hold each other in the middle of my kitchen.
"I'm so sorry." We say at the same time as we pull away from one another, holding onto each other's arms as we giggle.
Kiara and I made our way to my living room. I grabbed a bag of chips as we sat on the couch and we munched on them. "So you're really in love with JJ, huh?" Kiara blurts as she shoves a chip into her mouth. Still feeling slightly awkward talking to her about this, I'm hesitant before I answer. "Uh... Yeah, sadly."
She jokingly puts a finger in her mouth as she makes a gagging motion. "That's gross." She winks at me, laughing as she takes another chip from the bag. "Oh please, you were totally mackin' on him!" I playfully scoff, making her smile.
"Honestly? I don't know if I was... I think I was just trying to... I don't know, figure things out." She says slowly, looking down at the chip in her hand with a small frown on her face before shoving it into her mouth. I tilt my head in confusion at her sudden shift in mood.
"What do you mean?" She glances up at me for a second before looking back down at her lap, "It's hard to explain."
I smile before reaching over and placing my hand on top of her thigh, causing her to look up at me. "No judgment, Kie. You can tell me anything, I'll listen."
Her chest raised slowly as she inhaled a deep breath before blowing it out. "Okay, it's not like I don't like JJ... I think there's a part of me that does," She admits. "But it just doesn't... I think it was more of an experiment?" She licks her lips, running a hand through her hair. "I think I'm... I think..." She struggled to get her sentence out before closing her eyes for a second.
"I'm just confused about my... Sexuality right now." She finally confessed, looking at me. "But I'm not ready to talk about it, yet." I was a little shocked, but due to how nervous Kiara seemed to be I tried not to make a big deal out of it. It was Kiara's life, and it doesn't matter who she likes... She's still the same person to me.
"Well... You know I love you, you know I'm here always... So whenever you're ready, Kie. I'm here." I assure her, watching as a smile makes its way onto her face. "Now back to you!" She quickly changes the subject.
"Have you and JJ ever actually... Talk about your feelings?" I look down at the bag of chips in my hand, shaking my head. "No. I confessed my feelings and then ran away, basically."
Kiara snorts, which causes me to send a glare her way. "No, no I'm not laughing at you... Well, I am kind of, it's just so ironic because you and JJ are so alike in that sense." This time I snorted.
She slaps my arm. "I'm so serious! You both run away from feelings, I'm almost positive he has some kind of feelings for you too."
"Okay, Kie. You can stop trying to make me feel better now." I scoff, not buying a single word she was saying. "L, I'm serious. Do you know how many times I would catch him staring at you? I mean," She laughs to herself as she shoves a chip into her mouth. "Did you see how jealous he got when you brought Ayden to the Kegger? Or when you showed up to Midsummers with him? I found it quite humorous myself, but he has some kind of feelings for you. Whether he wants to admit it to himself or not."
I couldn't find the words to say anything, finding myself speechless. I wasn't sure I believed JJ had feelings for me, after the way he's been treating me, and even after I confessed my love for him, he never said it back. It just didn't feel... Real, that JJ would have feelings for me.
"You should go talk to him, Lena," She tells me. "And I mean a real conversation. It's the only way you'll ever know." I stare at her for a few seconds before standing up.
"Do you know if he's at John B's house?"
She nods her head and I make my way towards the front door the second she confirms it. "You can stay here if you want, just lock the door before you go!" I told her.
"Lena?" She calls after me, and I turn to look at her. "Just... Keep in mind that sometimes, you are allowed to put yourself first."
Butterflies were going off in my stomach as I approached the Chateau, going over everything I wanted to say to JJ in my head and trying to figure out what the best way to go about it would be.
"I know she's not... But I never really put it together, I guess." I freeze at the sound of JJ's voice coming through an opened window of John B's house.
John B always has his window opened at the most convenient times, I thought to myself as I pushed my body against the outside wall of his home.
"Does Lena mean anything to you?" I hear John B ask him, my heart beating faster knowing they were talking about me this time. There was a long silence, and I was internally begging for JJ to say that he does... To finally admit what I have wanted to hear from him for so long.
"No... No she doesn't mean anything to me in that way."
I couldn't hear anything else as I stumbled away from the wall, I wasn't sure how many more times my heart could take this pain... I wasn't sure how much more strength I had in me to forgive JJ.
I found myself walking away from the house, my hand pressed against my heart as I refused to allow the tears to roll down my face. I was tired of crying over JJ, I was tired of pretending like everything was okay... Trying to convince myself that he was my JJ when he's never been mine.
I'm choosing myself.
"Okay, that's not fair!" Ayden shouts at me in laughter as he runs at me, I shriek as I turn to run in the opposite direction with the basketball in my hands. "That's traveling!" Ayden laughs at me, not having any issues catching up to me and wrapping his arms around my waist.
"Okay, okay!" I laugh as I drop the basketball onto the ground, turning around to face him. His hands stay placed on my hips as he smiles down at me, "You suck at playing basketball."
I fake gasp, placing a hand over my heart. "Words hurt, Mr. Sower, I am deeply offended."
Ayden throws his head back in laughter as I attempt a British accent before leaning down and placing a kiss on the tip of my nose before running around me and picking up the basketball. "That's cheating! You distracted me!" I protest as he shoots the ball into the net, turning around and sticking his tongue out at me.
"Real mature." I roll my eyes, pouting. Ayden chuckled, "Oh, yes. And being a bad sport is so mature." He jokes walking back up to me and wrapping his arms around my waist before spinning me around.
I giggle as we fall back onto the grass that surrounded the basketball court outside of Ayden's house. "I cannot believe you have your own basketball court." I say for the fifth time today, making Ayden roll his eyes playfully.
"I sure do like it a lot better when you're out here on it with me." He flirts, sending a wink my way making me push his arm. "You need to up your flirting game, Mr. Sower."
Ayden smiles at me before leaning over top of me, pushing me down onto the grass lightly and hovering over me. "Will do, Miss. Boggs." He whispers, pressing his lips against my mouth.
My hands find his hair immediately, deepening the kiss. "Okay, gross." We hear making us spring apart to find Addie staring at us with a disgusted look on her face.
"Hey, Addie." I wave at her as I feel the heat rush to my cheeks in embarrassment. "Take it to your room! Oh, and hey Lena." Addie smiles at me.
"Mom and Dad are home, they are looking for you. They'll be happy to see Lena, I bet." Addie tells us as we stand to our feet. My face lights up at the mention of Darla and Carson, "Oh! I'll come and say hello!"
Addie smirks at me as I make my way over to her. "I'd fix your hair first." I gasp, running a hand through my hair instantly while Addie and her brother laugh at me. Ayden runs his hands through my hair to help me, before sliding his hand down my arm and locking our fingers together as we make our way back towards the inside of his house.
As JJ's face makes its way into my mind when I look down at Ayden's hand holding mine and wishing it was JJ's, I remind myself of what I heard earlier in the day. No... No she doesn't mean anything to me in that way.
It is time to choose my feelings, and what's better for me this time.
So I smile wide and place a kiss on Ayden's lips before we enter his home... Doing my best to push down the feeling of guilt, and shame knowing I was thinking of the man I actually wanted, instead of the amazing one beside me.
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Hello, again! May I just admit that I love Lena and Kie content, I know I haven't touched on their friendship very much but I adore writing about it!
All love,
Xoxo
A