A/N: I got a really cute, slightly depressing idea by reading this so here we go. Enjoy!
~Banana
Brian stared at his leg, heart breaking. Three new, two inch cuts were decorating his thigh, weeping blood just slightly.
This had started six years before when Brian was 12. He had been confused, and ran to his mom to ask what it meant. He didn't understand the tears in her eyes as she looked at the three lines across his wrist.
"That's your soul mate, baby. They're hurting, and this is how they express it. If you ever get hurt or draw on yourself, they'll see it, and whatever marks their skin, marks yours too. So let's get these cleaned up, okay?" She'd said softly as she wiped away the drops from his skin.
It'd taken him two years to realise what his soulmate was doing and it had made him extremely sad. Why was his soulmate so upset?
In response, Brian started drawing little flowers, little hearts, tiny cartoon animals. Always on his wrist and leg, where his soulmate could see them. As the years went on, Brian got more and more talented at drawing and the lines came less and less.
They still came though, and it broke Brian's heart every time. These cuts were the first in two months, and instead of cuts Brian had gotten used to getting butterflies instead.
Butterflies of all different colors, sizes, and varying styles. Monarchs, painted ladies, swallowtails. He'd started researching each kind of butterfly and fell in love with each design, each shade, each meaning.
Brian touched one of the cuts lightly, his skin already closing up to leave a scar. The cuts never lasted longer than 5 minutes, and he never felt the pain, but just seeing the wounds hurt him more than the cuts would have.
Brian shook his head and determinedly grabbed his art kit. After discovering the butterfly project, he'd started purposely learning how to draw, and had even helped many people in his school. But none of them were his soul mate.
Brian was 18 now, and his family planned on moving to America within the week. Utah, in fact, for his dad's work. Brian really hoped his soulmate wasn't in Ireland and he was about to leave them. Maybe they were in America? Hopefully?
Brian carefully drew some butterflies and flowers along his leg, making an intricate vine across his skin. He worked carefully, wanting to make sure the designs stayed perfect for his soulmate.
He worked for 30 minutes, humming softly as he drew. Finally, he put his marker down and rubbed his hand as he studied the drawing. As he watched, tiny additions of hearts and stars joined his drawing, making his heart swell.
He touched one of the little hearts and smiled. He didn't know who his soulmate was. He didn't know if they were a he or a she (which really didn't matter, Brian would love them anyway). But he knew already they were adorable.
On his other leg, Brian tried to write something. For some reason, words never showed up. So instead, he drew symbols.
He drew an Irish flag and a question mark, hoping it'd go through. A few moments later, an X appeared over the flag and an American flag appeared under it.
Brian gasped, excitement filling his stomach. His soulmate was American? Another flag appeared under it, making him frown. He did a quick Google image search and nearly threw his phone as is said it was the Utah flag.
Brian thought quickly, wondering how to convey he was moving to Utah. He drew a house with an Irish flag on it and then an arrow pointing at another house with the Utah flag on it, hoping his soulmate would understand.
A bunch of exclamation marks appeared on his knee, causing Brian to giggle. He drew three check marks, and then tried to think of how to draw Park City, which is where they were moving.
He drew a clearing with a bunch of trees and a swing set and then added a + and drew a basic city, hoping it'd work. Once again, several more exclamation points appeared with a drawing of white cubes and a lake.
Brian studied it for a moment, not 100% sure on what that meant. He Googled cities in Utah with a lake and realised it meant Salt Lake City, which wasn't even an hour away from Park City.
Brian added his own exclamation marks and shot out of bed, running into the living room.
"Mom! Mom!" He yelled and she ran in, looking worried. "What's wrong?" She asked hurriedly and he showed her his leg. "My soulmate lives in Salt Lake City, Utah!" He cried and she gasped, leaning over to look at the drawings.
"Oh that's amazing! Im so glad you figured out a way to talk to her!" She said and Brian rolled his eyes. "Or him, or they. You know I don't care," he said firmly and she shrugged.
"Most soulmates are he/her, Brian, you know that," she said logically and he rolled his eyes again. "But not all. My best friends in America are gay," he said, talking about a couple internet friends he'd made, Vanoss and Delirious.
Evan and Jonathan. They'd found each other completely by accident on YouTube, when Evan had posted a video of him playing guitar and drawings had appeared all over his arm and hand. Jonathan had messaged him in excitement, saying he'd drawn those symbols the night before and they Skyped, to see if it worked and it did. Evan had moved to North Carolina for Jon from Canada and they'd been together now for 3 years.
Brian turned away from his mom, tired of having the same argument. She wasn't against gays, she just didn't want her only son to be gay, mostly because she wanted grandkids.
New drawings had appeared so Brian ran back to his room to continue draw-writing his soulmate, talking late into the night. When Brian finally had to go to bed at 4am, he drew a clock pointing at 4am and a bunch of Z's. In return, he got a heart and a kissy face, making Brian blush.
He drew a heart back before laying back, closing his eyes happily. He hoped to meet his soulmate when they moved to Utah, and couldn't wait to tell Evan and Jonathan. He fell asleep dreaming of butterflies and flowers.
~~~~~~~~~~
Brock ran his fingers over the last drawing he'd received from his soulmate, happiness in his stomach. It was an odd feeling. His depression and anxiety had been weighing on him for years and sometimes the blade was the only thing that helped.
The 21 year old glanced at the clock, realizing it was just after 9pm. He frowned, not wanting to spend yet another lonely night in his single apartment his friend Anthony helped him get.
Brock had been kicked out of his house at 15 when his parents found out he was gay. Anthony's family had taken him in, encouraged him to stay in school and helped pay for supplies and even helped him get his license at 16.
But the stress and pain of his family rejecting him caused him to turn to the blade. He never thought about his soulmate at that time, since his parents were soulmates and were one of the unhappiest couples he'd ever seen.
He never believed in it after that, never believed in the stories of how people always fell in love and were utterly happy with their soulmates. He cut without thinking, without caring.
But a few weeks after he'd started, little messy drawings would appear over them. Usually flowers in the beginning, a really horrible butterfly here and there. But his shock had caused them to be beautiful in his eyes, the idea that maybe he wasn't alone.
He noticed that every time he gave into the urge, the drawings would appear more often, and it almost caused him to cut more often just to see them. But rhen he started getting random hearts throughout the day, a butterfly here and there, flowers decorating his fingers and wrist.
He found himself cutting less and less as more and more drawings appeared, and soon instead of the blade, he turned to his markers and drew back. The first time he'd drawn back, it was a utterly horrible drawing of a monarch butterfly, only recognizable by the orange and white in the black squiggles.
But a bunch of hearts appeared around it and he'd grown happy seeing them. Anthony had noticed that Brock was smiling more often, always carrying a pouch of colored markers around with him.
Brock was mildly worried his soulmate was a girl, but at the same time, he knew he wouldn't care. His soulmate was his best friend by this time, the person carrying him through these rough days. And boy, girl, or non binary, he knew he'd love them no matter what.
~~~~~~~~~~
Brian bounced excitedly in place. They'd been living in Utah for a month now and he'd been "talking" to his soulmate every day since. He'd been trying to figure out how to convey his phone number in a way that would go through, and the night before, he thought he finally found a way.
He drew a phone and a question mark and only had to wait a couple minutes before a check and a heart appeared.
Brian carefully started drawing tally marks in a column, hoping it'd work and his soulmate wouldn't get too confused.
He waited with bated breath, his phone resting on his knee. A text popped up from an unfamiliar number, the area code from Utah.
???: is this the person who really likes purple flowers?
Brian hurriedly answered, excitement filling him.
BH: it is! Is this the person who really likes butterflies?
???: it is! My name is Brock, what's yours?
Brock. Such a simple name, yet it meant so much to Brian. The name was also masculine, so his soulmate was male?
BH: I'm Brian, it's so nice to finally talk to you!
Brian knew he was probably being overenthusiastic, but he couldn't help it. He was finally texting his soulmate!
B: can I call?
Brian gasped and quickly typed yes! He sat staring at his screen for a few moments, waiting impatiently until an unknown number appeared.
He shakily pressed answer and held his phone to his ear. "Hello?" He asked and a soft "Hi" sounded in his ear. "Hi!" Brian said again and Brock laughed lightly.
"Hello," he said and Brian laughed, still shaking. "Um, I'm Brian," he said, feeling utterly nervous. "I'm Brock. How old are you?" He asked and Brian said, "I'm 18, you?"
"I just turned 21 in June," Brock replied and Brian perked up. "My birthday is in March," he said and Brock said, "What day? I'll mark it on the calender so I don't forget next year."
"The 23rd, what day in June is your birthday?" Brian asked, standing and grabbing his marker. "The 17th," Brock replied and Brian raised an eyebrow. "I missed your birthday by two weeks, damn," he said and Brock laughed.
Brian was addicted to the sound of Brock laughing. It was such an enthusiastic sound, full of life and happiness. Brian remembered the lines on his skin though and wondered if Brock laughed often.
"So I want to know more about you. I now know your name, birthday and much you love flowers, but what's your favorite color? Food? You're accent is Irish and the flag you sent last month shows you're from Ireland, but what city?" Brock asked, firing off the questions quickly.
Brian laughed, settling back down on his bed and laying back. "I love red, I'm very big on Indian foods and chicken, and I grew up in Terenure, Dublin," Brian answered and Brock hummed.
"And now your turn, stays your favorite color, food? Did you grow up in Salt Lake?" Brian asked and Brock said, "I moved here when I was a kid, but I've grown up here. My favorite colors are green and blue and I just love food in general. My best friend Anthony helped me get my apartment when I was 18."
"Not your parents?" Brian asked hesitantly and Brock sighed. "They kicked me out when I was 15 for being interested in boys. Anthony and his family took me in after that," he said quietly and Brian hated the sad tone.
"Do you think we could meet?" Brian asked and Brock hummed thoughtfully. "I'd love to. I have college classes Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, and I work Tuesday and weekends, but my classes end no later than 4pm, so maybe we can meet up somewhere for dinner?" He asked and Brian nodded eagerly before remembering the older man couldn't see him.
"Yeah! Just text me a time and place since I'm still learning the area and I'll come meet you!" Brian said happily and Brock laughed. "Sounds good to me, so you drive?" He asked and Brian flushed.
"No, I'm still trying to figure out the American rules, but my mom or dad can drive me," he said and Brock said, "Or maybe, if you don't think it's too weird, your can text me your address and I'll come pick you up?"
Brian tilted his head thoughtfully. "Only if you want to, I am an hour away," he said softly and Brock chuckled. "I've been waiting to meet you for almost six years now, I have no problem with driving an hour to finally do so," he said amused and Brian flushed.
"I don't mind then, just give me a day and time and I'll be ready for you," Brian said fondly and Brock chuckled. "So, I know you must have some friends, can you tell me about them?" He asked and Brian smiled.
He told Brock all about Evan and Jonathan in the states and his best friend Daithi back in Ireland. Daithi hadn't found his soulmate yet, but had taken a page from Brian's book and started drawing interpretive messages and they'd been talking for two weeks now.
Brock told him all about Anthony and Scotty, the only other friend he had from high school. Scotty had found his soulmate, a crazy, silly girl named Chrissy who had a large heart and no filter.
They talked for three hours until Brock needed to go, and they finally ended the call. A heart appeared on Brian's hand a few seconds later, making the Irishman smile fondly as he drew one back in response.
He laid back, thinking of Brock. He wondered what he looked like, as theyd decided they didn't want to send pictures. They wanted their first look at each other in person.
Brian put his phone on the charger and picked up his sketch pad. It was another hour before dinner and he wanted to draw something special for Brock.
He set to work, drawing a physical representation of how Brock's laugh made him feel. The drawing itself had no solid theme, a mixture of butterflies, sunshine and freedom flying.
~~~~~~~~~
"Mom! He's going to be here soon!" Brian called excitedly, seeing the text. It'd been three weeks since their first call, and they called every night before bed after Brock got off work.
They'd finally been able to plan a dinner date when Brock's new schedule came in a few days before. He finally had an afternoon free and had immediately called Brian to tell him.
Brian had just gotten a text 5 minutes before saying Brock was only 15 minutes away. Brian's mom wanted to meet him, give him her number and see where they were going.
She hadn't been happy when Brian had told her Brock was a boy, but after seeing how happy Brian had been the following days after their first call and how Brian would light up every time Brock called, she decided she'd accept it. Anyone who made her baby that happy must be a wonderful person.
Brian looked out the window and saw a car pulling in, and quickly backed away from the window. He'd promised he wouldn't peek at Brock's face before he opened the door and he wanted to stick to that.
He ran to the hallway and stood at the door, bouncing eagerly. Brian's mom laughed lightly, placing her hands on his shoulders. "Calm down baby," she said softly and he smiled sheepishly at her.
The doorbell rang and nerves immediately shot through Brian's stomach, the man rushing over to the door and placing his hand on the door handle.
He took a deep breath and opened it, meeting warm brown eyes. Brock stood about an inch shorter than him, had short black hair and a wide smile showed perfect white teeth.
Brian couldn't help but stare, warmth pooling in his stomach. "Hi," he said quietly and Brock's smile grew fond. "Hi," he said and Brian reached out, taking Brock's hand.
He'd always thought those clichés about "sparks" and that immediate connection were overdone, overused and a bit overexaggerated, but feeling Brock's hand in his sent fireworks exploding in his stomach.
Brock's sudden intake of breath told him he must have felt the same. Brock stepped closer and pulled Brian into a hug, arms wrapping around his waist tightly.
Brian buried his face into Brock's shoulder, feeling complete. Brock was just so warm, he didn't know what to do about it.
They pulled away but kept their hands interlocked, just staring at each other. "You know, you definitely look like the type of person to really like butterflies," Brian said and Brock laughed, the sound 10 times more addicting in real life than over a phone.
"Is it Brock?" Brian's mom said from behind him and Brian turned, beaming at her. "It is! Brock, this is my mom, Mom, this is Brock!" He said cheerfully, his excitement clear in his face.
She laughed lightly and reached out to shake Brock's hand. "It's very nice to meet the person who has been making my baby so happy these last few years, and especially the last two months," she said kindly and Brock smiled, eyes fond as he looked at Brian.
"He's been my rock for these last few years, my parents didn't take me coming out too well," he said softly and Brian's mom shook her head. "I will admit it took me a bit to accept it with Brian, but anyone who can make my baby smile like that, regardless of sexuality, can't be a bad person. Brian's happy, and that's all that matters to me," she said and Brock smiled wistfully.
"Now, where are you two going and what time do you plan on bringing him back?" She asked, switching to Mom mode. Brock handed her a slip of paper and she opened it as he said, "That's the address of the diner I picked with my cell number. I plan on being back between 10 and 11, but if we end up getting caught up in talking you're welcome to call me," he said confidently and she smiled approvingly.
"I like this one, he's got his things in order. Now you two have fun, drive safe, I'll stay up for you, okay Brian?" She said and Brian nodded, trying not to bounce excitedly. He didn't want to seem way too over eager for this or to seem like he was a young teen. He was 18 after all.
She waved and headed back inside, Brian turning to Brock. "Let's get in the car, I have something for you," Brock said cheerfully, taking Brian's hand and leading him to the passenger side. Brock opened the door for him, making Brian flush as he got in.
Brock opened the back door for a moment, grabbing something and walking around to the drivers seat. He got in and Brian was shocked to see a small bouquet of purple lilies in his hand.
"You draw purple lilies a lot, so I got you a bunch. And these ones are different, they're not real, but Anthony helped me handcraft them out of metal so they'll last forever," Brock said shyly and Brian took the bouquet, touching one of the lilies softly.
"They're amazing, you made these?" Brian asked awed and Brock nodded, smiling shyly. "I did. Anthony helped, as I said, but he mostly just helped with the shaping," he said and Brian took Brocks hand and squeezed it.
"They're incredible, I love them," Brian said sincerely, touched that Brock had done something like this for him. Brock smiled brightly and started the car, backing out of the driveway and heading off towards the city.
They reached the diner and Brock opened Brian's door again, smiling fondly at Brian's flushed look. Brock tucked Brian's hand into the crook of his elbow and led him inside, finding a secluded booth to have some semblance of privacy.
"Good evening boys, I'm Katie and I'll be your waitress tonight! I can take your drink orders whenever your ready," a girl said and Brock said, "I'll take a coke please."
"I'll have the same please," Brian said politely and she nodded, smiling at them as she walked away.
Brock turned to Brian. "So, what got you into lilies?" He asked and Brian smiled. "Honestly, you did. You would send different drawings of butterflies and I wanted to know what you were sending so I did loads of research on them and it got to the point where I could name every butterfly you sent and then some.
"But the flowers, well, you sent a monarch butterfly one day and when I searched a picture of them, I found an image of a monarch resting on a purple lily and I just really loved the color. I searched more flowers so I could give you your own meadow to match your butterflies," Brian said shyly, flushing at exposing that much of his infatuation with the other.
Brock smiled fondly and took Brian's hand. "And you gave me my love of butterflies. But what made you think of butterflies?" He asked and Brian took a deep breath. He didn't want to mention the cuts on their first date, not wanting to ruin the mood, but butterflies kind of went with it.
"There's this thing online called the Butterfly Project. They represent innocence, freedom, and hope, and instead of, you know, cutting, you draw a butterfly. I just, I don't know, I wanted to show you that I'm here, and always will be here, and started drawing the butterflies. It turned into something else, something just for you and me not too long later, and every time I saw a butterfly, I thought of you," he said quietly and Brock nodded slowly, a fond thoughtfulness in his eyes.
"You know, I'm kind of surprised you haven't asked about that, yet," he said quietly and Brian squeezed Brocks fingers. "It can wait, unless you want to talk about it. I'm not going to push you, I'll never push you. I just want to be here for you," Brian said sincerely and Brock smiled, a mixture of sadness and relief.
"You know, I really care for you. And not just because of the soulmate thing. But, you've been there for me for 6 years. You renewed my hope for soulmates, for a chance of happiness. My parents, they're soulmates, but they're also some of the most unhappy people I know, and I never held any care for a soulmate, until you sent that first flower when I was 15. And I've always considered you my best friend, even though we've never met before today," Brock said quietly and Brian lifted Brock's fingers to his mouth.
He kissed them gently for a moment, Brock's face flushing at the motion. "You've been my best friend since I first discovered you, 6 years ago. I've always known I loved you, but I'm sure very soon, I'll be in love with you," Brian said quietly and Brock kissed the back of Brian's hand.
Brian didn't know what made Brock so sad, or why he was hurting. He wanted to know, but didn't want to push. But for now, all he knew was that his soulmate was in front of him, a beautiful smile in those warm eyes, and Brian knew they'd be okay.
Even if it took a million monarchs and lilies, at least they'd have a meadow to lay in as they healed together.
A/N: okay, that's something. I actually started this probably a couple months ago, but completely forgot about it as I started on a couple other full stories lmao but it's finished now!
Anyway, hope yall enjoyed! Kisses!!
~Banana