"L" Rory says as she walks down the street with her mother and sister.
"Laryngitis, M" Victoria says. "Mumps, N" Lorelai replies.
"Narcolepsy, O" Rory says. "Are we gonna have to go through this every time we decide who had to clean out the refrigerator?" Victoria asks. "Do you want to go back to thumb wrestling?" her mother asks her.
"Osteoporosis, P" Victoria answers.
"Puppies!" Lorelai yells running across the street. "That's not a disease, oh boy" Rory says noticing the pet sale across the street.
"Look at the baby" Lorelai says as her daughters catch up to her. "Mom" Victoria says. "Aw, Buttercup was found cold and wet hovering under a hydrangea bush along highway 26! It's a sad highway" Lorelai says looking at a dog.
"As compared to all the happy highways he could have been abandoned by?" Rory asks.
"Her lineage includes cocker spaniel, golden retriever, bouvier des flandres" Lorelai reads for them. "Gesundheit" Victoria interrupts her.
"Thank you, and rottweiler" Lorelai continues. "Buttercup is a special dog, she is extremely skittish and tends to react badly toward blond haired females, brunette males, children of either sex, other animals, red clothing, cabbage, or anyone in a uniform" Rory reads. "Hey, we just found the doggy version of you" Lorelai says as Luke walks over to them.
"Can I help you?" the man working there asks them.
"Do not let these three anywhere near a dog, they can barely feed themselves" Luke tells the man. "Shut up you, we would be excellent pet owners thank you" Lorelai says.
"You cannot be serious" Victoria says thinking it's crazy for them to get a dog. "We could get him a pretty bowl" Lorelai says. "It's a her" Rory tells her mother.
"And a new name" Lorelai keeps talking.
"Mom" Victoria says. "This Buttercup thing really has to go" Lorelai says ignoring her daughters.
"Do I need to remind you of Skippy?" Rory asks. "Skippy?" Luke questions. "I can't believe you would bring up Skippy" Lorelai says.
"Skippy was our hamster" Victoria tells Luke.
"He doesn't care" Lorelai says not wanting Luke to know the story. "What happened to Skippy?" Luke asks.
"Nothing happened to Skippy" Lorelai lies. "Every time mom would put her hand in his cage he'd bite her" Rory tells Luke. "And laugh" Lorelai adds.
"Hamsters can't laugh" Luke tells her.
"Oh this one laughed, trust me" Lorelai insists. "So finally she got fed up" Victoria continues the story.
"Of being laughed at by a hamster?" Luke asks. "Well, yeah" Lorelai says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "And she stopped cleaning its cage" Rory tells Luke.
"Instead, every day she would stuff some kleenex in there" Victoria adds.
"You didn't" Luke says in disbelief. "It was the quilted kind" Lorelai says smiling.
"So then this keeps going on and the cage is just a cage full of kleenex that moves a little" Rory continues the story. "And the smell? Really good" Victoria tells Luke. "I can imagine" Luke says.
"Oh, no you can't" Lorelai says still smiling.
"So then she takes the cage to the place where we bought him waits for the sales guy to go behind the desk, and dumps it on the counter then bolts" Rory finishes the story. "You abandoned your hamster?" Luke asks.
"Look I know it was bad, but this was a vicious hamster. This was like a damien hamster with little beady eyes and a big forked tail and a cape with a hood and, bye bye buttercup" Lorelai gives in. "Bye Luke" she says as Luke walks away.
"You did the right thing" Victoria tells her mother.
"I want a pet" Lorelai complains. "You have us" Rory tells her.
"You won't bring me my slippers in the morning" Lorelai says. "We might if you had slippers" Victoria points out. "Will you wear a collar?" Lorelai asks.
"No" Rory answers.
"It'll be pink" Lorelai tells them. "You're sick" Victoria says.
"Hey, watch how you talk to me. Remember what happened to Skippy" Lorelai says as they leave the pet sale.
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"Where do you think you're going?" Victoria says laying on the couch as her mother tries to sneak upstairs after just getting home late at night.
"Hi" Lorelai says. "It's one in the morning" Victoria tells her.
"I know, but my watch stopped during a terrible car wreck and I had to save the kittens and small children and four baby chicks" Lorelai lies. "Did you have a nice time?" Victoria asks her. "Not bad" Lorelai answers.
"That's a very big smile for a not bad night" Victoria says as her mother sits next to her.
"Yeah, well... hey, he loaned me a book" Lorelai tells her. "What book?" Victoria asks.
"Swann's Way" Lorelai answers. "Aren't we ambitious" Victoria comments. "Yes, we are" Lorelai says.
"You know what it means when a man loans you a book don't you?" Victoria asks.
"That he's already read it?" Lorelai answers with a question. "Yep" Victoria says.
"How was your night?" Lorelai asks. "Homework" Victoria answers. "While being on the phone with Tristan the whole time?" Lorelai asks her.
"Maybe" Victoria answers.
"Thought so, I'm going to bed. Are you staying here?" Lorelai asks. "Yeah, I'm comfortable. I've got the pillows in a perfect mushed position"Victoria tells her.
"Okay, night mom" Lorelai jokes. "Yeah, you just go think about what you've done" Victoria jokes back. "I will" Lorelai says.
"Hey" Victoria says as Lorelai walks up the stairs.
"What?" Lorelai asks turning back to her. "You look happy" Victoria tells her.
"I am, kid" Lorelai says. "Just checking" Victoria tells her.
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"How's the squab?" Emily asks at dinner.
"It's good" Rory tells her. "Really good" Victoria answers.
"Lorelai?" Emily asks. "It's the best tiny weird bird I've ever eaten" Lorelai tells her mother. "I'm glad" Emily says smiling.
"Why are you mailing like that?" Lorelai asks her.
"What are you talking about?" Emily asks playing dumb. "You're smiling" Lorelai says.
"I'm happy" Emily tells her. "That's not your I'm happy smile" Lorelai insists. "Well what smile is it Lorelai?" Emily asks.
"That's your I've got something on Lorelai smile" Lorelai answers.
"Your mother must be very tired" Emily says turning to her granddaughters. "She works a lot" Victoria says.
"I grew up with that smile, I know that smile" Lorelai insists. "Tell me about school" Emily says turning to her granddaughters again. "Well my French final went pretty well" Rory tells her.
"You can change the subject, I know the smile" Lorelai comments.
"Whatever you say dear" Emily says. "I've used it a few times myself" Lorelai tells them.
"Mom" Victoria says. "So tell me about parents day" Emily tells her granddaughters. "What?" Lorelai asks.
"Parents day, next Wednesday. When all the parents are supposed to go to the classes with their children all day long" Emily explains.
"The Chilton newsletter came out today" Lorelai realizes. "Yep" Rory says.
"Right" Lorelai states. "You didn't read yours?" Emily asks. "Not yet" Lorelai answers.
"Ah" Emily says.
"But you knew that" Lorelai tells her. "Well..." Emily says.
"Hence the smile" Lorelai points out. "Lorelai, you're really being silly. There is no evil plan afoot here, I simply brought up a subject I thought we could all talk about" Emily defends herself. "Oh, right" Lorelai says not believing her.
"I'll try another subject. The color blue is very pleasant isn't it?" Emily asks.
"Mom, not everybody can wait outside the mailbox for the Chilton newsletter to arrive and then instantly memorize the contents in three seconds" Lorelai explains. "I'd like to weigh in on the blue color subject please" Victoria says not liking when her mom and grandma fight.
"You have your priorities, far be it for me to question them" Emily says. "Just because I didn't read the newsletter doesn't mean I don't care about my daughters" Lorelai tells her. "So are you going?" Emily asks.
"To what?" Lorelai questions.
"To parents day" Emily says. "Why don't we talk about it next Friday when I've actually read the newsletter? I guarantee it'll be more fun"Lorelai suggests.
"We could, except for the fact that parents day is next Wednesday" Emily points out. "Wednesday?" Lorelai asks. "Yep" Rory confirms.
"If we talked about it on Friday then you would've missed it" Emily says.
"Wednesday huh?" Lorelai asks. "It's okay mom, you don't have to be there" Victoria tells her.
"I guess we could talk about how you missed it though" Emily says. "I won't miss it" Lorelai tells her. "Mom, it's not a big deal. You're busy" Rory tells her mother.
"You know what? I'll go" Emily suggests.
"What?" Lorelai asks. "Why not? You have to work, I as you have insinuated have no life. Therefore I will go with the girls on parents day. We'll have to figure out some type of schedule though since most of your classes are different. Maybe I'll do the first half of the day with Rory and second with Victoria" Emily tells them.
"I'm not busy, I'm going. I'll be there, that's it. End of story, okay?" Lorelai says. "Fine" Emily tells her. "Fine" Lorelai repeats her mother.
"So did you read on page two about the mother daughter talent show?" Emily asks causing Lorelai to choke on her food.
"You okay?" Victoria asks her.
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"I can't believe you won't just sell them to me" Sookie says to Jackson as they walk into Luke's where Rory and Victoria are sitting at the counter.
"And I can't believe you're being so small minded" Jackson responds. "My stuffed fried squash blossoms are extremely popular with the costumers" Sookie tells him.
"Yes, I know" Jackson agrees. "People come from all over and demand the stuffed fried squash blossoms" Sookie adds. "That is exactly my point" Jackson tells her.
"What'll you have sir? Anything that comes with the stuffed fried squash blossoms. That's what I hear day in day out" Sookie says.
"Yes, great I know. But all I'm asking you is to try stuffing something a little different this time" Jackson tells her. "A zucchini tush?" Sookie questions.
"Just a temporary name" Jackson says. "You want me to serve my costumers a genetically engineered vegetable named after a butt?" Sookie says in disbelief. "Hey, this is an all natural vegetable hybrid. That is perfectly safe, completely delicious, and yes it looks a little odd. But you could put it on the map" Jackson defends.
"I want the blossoms" Sookie insists.
"Fine, you wanna think small, think small. I'm done" Jackson says leaving. "Jackson invented a new vegetable again?" Victoria asks as Sookie sits next to her.
"Yep" Sookie says. "It's too bad that bowling league didn't work out for him" Rory tells her. "Yeah" Sookie agrees as Lorelai walks over to them.
"Hey, look I found them" Lorelai tells her daughters while holding a pair of ice skates.
"Where?" Victoria asks her. "They were in that drawer with the roasting pans" Lorelai answers.
"Cool" Rory says. "Ooh, skates" Sookie comments. "The girls and I have a skating date" Lorelai tells her.
"When was the last time you put those things on?" Luke asks walking up to them and seeing the skates.
"Oh you are constantly trying to ruin my fine" Lorelai says. "Do they even fit anymore?" Luke asks.
"Yes, they fit" Lorelai insists. "They look rusted" Luke tells her. "Can I just have some coffee please?" Lorelai asks him.
"Hand them over" Luke sighs.
"Why?" Lorelai asks. "I'm gonna clean them and tighten the blades" Luke explains.
"Really?" Lorelai asks. "Yes" Luke tells her. "Can you make them really shiny?" She asks him.
"The skates please" Luke says.
"Maybe add a couple pompoms?" Lorelai asks pushing her luck. "Just hand them over" Luke tells her.
"Thank you" Lorelai thanks him while handing him the skates.
"You get really good service here" Sookie tells her. "Yeah, I do" Lorelai says.
"Gotta go" Sookie says as someone pages her. "Anything wrong?" Victoria asks her. "Too much yeast, too little bowl" Sookie explains.
"Enough said" Lorelai says as Sookie leaves.
"So, I think I'm just gonna go for it and wear the fur trimmed skating skirt. Pride be damned" Lorelai tells her daughters. "Hey, what if we invite Max go go skating with us?" Rory suggests.
"Max?" Victoria asks. "Yeah, I thought maybe he'd wanna go" Rory tells her. "When did you start calling him Max?" Lorelai asks her.
"Well the other night he said that I should probably call him something other than Mr Medina when we're outside of school, which makes sense. So I'm getting used to saying Max" Rory explains.
"You don't see him that much outside of school" Lorelai says. "No, but I probably will since you guys are obsessed with eachother" Rory tells her.
"I wouldn't say obsessed" Lorelai awkwardly says. "No, it's okay" Rory says. "Yeah, I mean of all the guys to have hanging around he seems like a good choice" Victoria adds.
"Good, well that's good" Lorelai says.
"So what do you think about the skating?" Rory asks. "What?" Lorelai asks her.
"Mr Medina, I'm sorry Max. Do you think he's wanna go?" Rory asks. "I don't think he skates, thanks" Lorelai tells her. "Well maybe we could all do something else together then" Rory suggests.
"Yeah, good. Something else is good, I love something else" Lorelai says.
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"You know I heard Paris' dad has got a second family in Paris" Kaiden says as he, Tristan, and Victoria stand in the school hallway.
"We don't know if those rumors are true" Victoria tells her. "Yeah, well either way the whole situations getting blown up" Kaiden says.
"I know, I've heard like a dozen completely different stories about it" Tristan adds. "I've gotta go, I'll see you later?" Kaiden asks walking away. "Yeah, see you later" Tristan says.
Victoria sighs looking around and notices the door to outside is right by them.
"Come here" she says grabbing her boyfriends hand and pulling him out to the school courtyard with her. "What are you doing?" he asks her before she kisses him resulting in him instantly kissing back.
"Ah, so that's what you're doing" Tristan says with a smirk as his girlfriend pulled away from the kiss. "Well we have a free period and I'm bored so..." Victoria shrugs. "So you wanna spend our entire free period making out in the cold?" Tristan asks her, the smirk remaining his lips.
"A lot more fun than sitting inside being bored out of our minds" Victoria points out.
"Well I'm not gonna argue with that" Tristan says leaning down to kiss her again more passionate than the last time. Her arms go around his neck and his hands hold onto her waist as he softly backs her against the wall, their lips never once leaving each other's.
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"Four slices pepperoni pizza" Lorelai says as her and the girls clean out the fridge.
"From?" Victoria asks. "Tuesday?" Lorelai says unsure.
"Last Tuesday?" Rory asks. "Tuesday in the not too distant past" Lorelai answers. "Toss it" Victoria tells her.
"So you remember Paris Geller?" Rory asks her mother.
"Your very best friend in the whole world?" Lorelai says sarcastically while still going through the fridge. "Her parents are getting a major divorce" Rory tells her.
"Really?" Lorelai asks. "Her dad's like this bigwig at a huge pharmaceutical company, and they're printing all the sordid details about it in the paper" Victoria says. "Ooh, how sordid?" Lorelai wonders.
"Well, it's not the Rick James incident but High Grant should be feeling pretty good about himself" Rory tells her.
"If she was anybody else in the entire universe I might feel bad for her" Lorelai says. "Actually, I kind of do feel bad for her" Rory responds.
"That's because you are the nicest kid ever to walk the earth" her mother tells her. "The whole schools talking about it" Victoria says. "Yeah, and the weird thing is that the whole dynamic there has changed for me" Rory adds.
"Really, how so?" Lorelai asks.
"Well, Madeline and Louise Paris' best friends said hello to me the other day" Rory explains. "Really? Like a normal hello, not like a here's Johnny kind of hello?" Victoria asks.
"Normal, friendly. No acts" Rory tells her. "Wow, you're the new Heather" Lorelai says. "I guess" Rory replies.
"Oh, hey this is the pizza from mystery Tuesday. That one's completely fine" Lorelai says pulling another pizza from the fridge and pointing at the one in the garbage.
"Don't" Victoria says as she sees her mom going to grab the pizza from the garbage. "It's in the box" Lorelai defends her idea.
"Oscar" Victoria says. "Felix" Lorelai replies. "Forget it" Victoria tells her.
"Fine" Lorelai gives in.
"So, how's Swann's Way coming?" Rory asks. "Oh, finished" Lorelai says.
"You're kidding, it took me forever to read that. I renewed it ten times" Rory tells her. "The first sentence, I finished the first sentence" Lorelai says. "Aha" Victoria says thinking that made more sense.
"Yeah, it's just I'm so swamped right now. You know it's the totally wrong time to start reading the longest book known to man" Lorelai tells her daughters.
"Hey, maybe you could give it back to Max for me" She says to Rory since Victoria's not in his class. "Just bring it with you tomorrow" Rory tells her.
"Tomorrow?" Lorelai questions. "Parents day" Victoria reminds her. "Remember? First four periods with Rory, last four with me" she continues.
"Oh uh I'm not sure I'm going to be able to make it" Lorelai says.
"What do you mean?" Rory asks. "Well I have that thing at the inn, and I thought I could get away but now I can't" Lorelai lies.
"What thing?" Victoria asks. "The thing, the inn thing" Lorelai says failing to make something up. "What inn thing?" Rory asks her.
"You know" Lorelai says.
"No, I don't" Rory tells her. "The thing at the inn with the flags and the little men and the peanuts, the thing" Lorelai makes up as she goes along.
"Little men?" Victoria questions. "Forget it, it's not important. I just don't think I can go" Lorelai says. "Okay, fine" Rory gives in.
"So, if you could give this book back to Max tomorrow that would be great" Lorelai says.
"Why don't you just give it back to him the next time you see him?" Victoria asks. "Because I'm not sure when that will be and he should have his book" Lorelai answers.
"You see him all the time" Rory points out. "Rory, could you just give it back to him? Okay?" Lorelai asks again. "Are you breaking up with him?" Rory asks her.
"What are you talking about?" Lorelai asks.
"Well he hasn't heard from you, and now you're asking me to give him the book back" Rory tells her. "How do you know he hasn't heard from me?" Lorelai asks her.
"He wanted to know if you were going to parents day, and then he mentioned that you guys hadn't talked lately" Rory explains. "He shouldn't be asking you about me" Lorelai tells her. "Why are you breaking up with him?" Victoria asks.
"Because it's not working out" Lorelai replies.
"But you seem so happy" Rory says. "It's not right, that's all" Lorelai tells her.
"So that's why you're not going tomorrow?" Victoria asks. "No, I'm not going tomorrow because of the thing at the inn" Lorelai lies. "That's crap and you know it!" Rory says getting mad.
"Hey" Lorelai says not liking the tone her daughter's using with her.
"There is no thing at the inn, you're avoiding Mr Medina and you're trying to lie to us and you promised you would go and hey do whatever you want I don't care. Just leave me out of it, and give him the book back yourself" Rory says going to her room.
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"Don't freak out" Tristan says running up to his girlfriend in the hallway.
"Well that's a great way to start a conversation, what happened?" she asks him. "Kaiden just told me that apparently Paris saw your mom kissing Mr Medina" Tristan tells her.
"Oh no" Victoria says. "Most of the school knows" Tristan tells her. "Oh god" she groans.
"She said she was breaking up with him, how the hell did she end up kissing him?" Victoria asks.
"I'm sorry" Tristan says feeling bad for her. "It's not me who should be getting apologized too, Rory's already been struggling to fit in her and now this? Oh god Paris is never gonna let this go" Victoria says.
"It'll be fine, some new scandal would happen and no one will even remember" Tristan says trying to make her feel better. "If my grandmother finds out there's no way she won't hold this over my mom for a long time" Victoria tells him. "Yeah that one I can't deny" Tristan says knowing she's right about the last part.
"Ugh" Victoria groans one last time.
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"Look let's just refrain from fighting in front of the grandma, ok?" Lorelai asks her daughters but mainly Rory who's still mad at her
"Fine with me" Rory says. "The last thing I need tonight is a confrontation with my mother" Lorelai says before ringing the doorbell.
Although is seems ringing the bell was unnecessary since Emily opened the door before Lorelai even took her finger off the button. "Hi mom" Lorelai greets her mother. "Boy the roads were a mess out there tonight" she says as her and her daughters walk in the house.
"Rory, Victoria, go upstairs please" Emily says not wanting them to be in the room when she yells at her daughter.
"Is everything okay?" Victoria asks worried. "I have to talk to your mother, please go upstairs" Emily replies.
"Well-" Rory starts. "Now" Emily interrupts and the girls go upstairs. Sadly Victoria was 100% right about her grandmother finding out what happened and getting mad at Lorelai for it because that night both Emily and Lorelai ended up upset.
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"Mom!" Victoria yells as her and Rory walk in their house.
"Mom, we're home!" Rory yells as the girls go upstairs when they can't find their mother. "Mom?" Victoria asks running up the stairs.
The walk into Lorelai's room to find her lying in bed crying. They just get in bed and lay with her comfortingly.
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Episode eleven is done.
This one actually took longer to write than I thought it would.