Chapter 42: You Missed a Spot
Jasmine had a little evil grin on her face as she drove Mason back to his place. They had a fun day out today. It wasn't anything fancy, just getting some coffees then walking through a nice park downtown. Mason really enjoyed feeling like a fancy rich person who went to expensive art galleries and museums. They would stop around interesting-looking plants and comment on how the color and shape made different statements about the human condition, super fun stuff.
Since it was only Mason, Gabe, and Jasmine there today, Jasmine got an uninterrupted view of the dynamic between Gabe and Mason. In typical Jasmine fashion, she would make many suggestive expressions behind Gabe's back, looks which only got worse when Gabe threw his arms around Mason or was flirting a little bit. Mason knew that was normal for Gabe but Jasmine wasn't around them enough to get used to it.
Therefore, Mason wasn't surprised when Jasmine brought it up on their way back home.
"So how are things going with Mr. Surfer?" Jasmine asked.
Mason rolled his eyes at the teasing tilt in her voice. She knew that he felt a bit embarrassed talking about these things and just had to rub it in. Yet even as Mason saw her raise her eyebrows cheekily from the driver's seat, he still wanted to tell her.
"Okay, first off, he doesn't even surf. I think that's just his aesthetic." Mason corrected her, using excessive amounts of sass. "And two, things aren't going anywhere. We're just friends, I promise."
Mason let out a small chuckle, trying to ease up the mood. Jasmine didn't even smile. From the way she looked over at Mason with her analytical gaze, trying to decipher his motives, he knew that she didn't believe him. In fact, she was trying to understand why he was lying to her.
"Please don't tell me you're holding off because of Mark." She finally sighed, grinding her teeth in annoyance. "You're the one who told me that things aren't meant to be between you guys."
Mason sucked in a sharp breath to keep himself calm. He'd meant every word when he said he and Gabe were just friends but she continued to talk as if he was lying. Maybe the way in which they acted was suspicious to some, but Mason truly valued Gabe's friendship and friendship alone. But Mason had to wonder what he would do if that wasn't the case. If he, for example, did actually like Gabe, would he go for it? Would he pursue it or hold back because of Mark?
His heart tightened a bit thinking about moving on. It was an uncomfortable thought because he'd liked Mark for so long and now knew that Mark was at least attracted to him. He felt like he was this close to having something real with him. Therefore, finding someone else almost felt like cheating.
One day, he might. Mason knew he couldn't do this forever, basing his life off of a person he wasn't with. Some day he had to stop closing himself off to people so he could always be ready for Mark. He had to stop going after people who didn't care about him so their feelings wouldn't be hurt when he eventually broke things off. He had to stop being upset when Mark got close to someone new when Mark had no obligations to him.
Right now, it was still too fresh and too raw. He would never be able to dive headfirst into a new relationship when he was still trying to mend his friendship with Mark. Their relationship was in an odd limbo, it appeared cold and distant yet wasn't nonexistent. Many days Mason wondered if the confusion was worse than a total break. Every time they met Mason wanted to reach across the divide and reconnect, talk, see how Mark's been, but he always feels like he can't.
The situation stressed him out and distracted him. If he started to date, it would be obvious that Mark wasn't just a friend to him. And if Mason wanted to date someone else, he had to learn how to be friends with Mark without wanting him. Mason would have to, once and for all, finally move on. It won't be today, and probably won't be within the next few months. But one day, Mason will do it.
With a hopeful expression on Mason's face, he turned to Jasmine who was still glancing at him with questioning eyes.
"It really isn't about Mark." He assured her.
"Then why not get with Gabe? He seems nice enough and he obviously likes you."
"Just because he likes me doesn't mean I need to like him back. I don't owe Gabe anything, no matter how long we've been friends. He'll understand that I'm sure."
That seemed to take the fight out of Jasmine. Mason knew from the number of times she complained how many guys thought she owed her something to return their advances if they'd tried hard enough.
"Alright, I won't push you to a guy you don't want." She told Mason. "Having such a strong surfer vibe without surfing is suspicious anyway."
The gibe came out of nowhere so Mason had no ability to hold back his laugh.
He and Jasmine are still laughing at her joke when Mason feels a vibration from a text. Pulling out his phone, Mason's eyes widened at the message.
Mason, I need you
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With a natural flair, Mason whipped his blanket, laying it down flat over his bed. He'd already made his bed this morning but felt a need to redo it. He'd also cleaned the kitchen and living room and went to start in the bathroom when he paused. What in the world was he doing? He'd just had all his self talk about not putting too much pressure on himself to impress Mark and now he was turning into his mother before thanksgiving.
Mason sighed deeply, sitting down carefully on his pristine bed. He couldn't just revert back to his old self, he had to start moving on, Mason reminded himself.
Okay, so I am an independent man who can get anyone I want, I just want some Mark dick right now.
Mason snorted unattractively at the thought. Yeah, that was definitely an improvement. Although several parts of Mason's body fought him as he did so, Mason stopped cleaning. Mark was going to come in, fuck him, then leave, he wouldn't have time to analyze the decor, stare at rug patterns, or critique watermarks on the bathroom mirror.
To distract himself from the wait for Mark's arrival, Mason went back to his phone. His usual forms of entertainment were far less successful than before and time seemed to drag on. The longer Mark took, the stronger Mason's desire to clean became.
Maybe he could just wipe down the bathroom mirror-
A knock on the door interrupted Mason's train of thought. Clearly, he didn't have any more time.
Mark seemed weird when Mason opened the door. At first, Mason didn't notice. He was wearing a normal outfit: black joggers with a large white shirt and a sweater, but it was something in his eyes. The way he stood there, shifting from one foot to the other, eyes looking at anything but Mason's was odd.
"Hey," Mason said instinctively. He mentally cursed. He'd forgotten that they didn't really do that anymore. Mark already told him in as few words as possible what he wanted to do. No further discussion was required.
"Hi," Mark replied, throwing Mason a brief smile while still avoiding his eyes. "How are you?"
A conversation? This day was becoming weirder and weirder. Yet, Mason didn't mind. This is what he'd been praying for weeks. He didn't really care why it came to be.
"I'm good. I've just been cleaning up around the house." Mason told him, gesturing to his home behind him. "Speaking of, I haven't let you inside yet. My bad!"
Mason began to laugh nervously. What he'd said wasn't that funny but he felt awkward speaking to Mark after so long. Luckily, Mark laughed along.
"It's fine. Don't worry about it."
Walking into the house, Mark's chest brushed against Mason's shoulder and Mason's skin held onto the lingering heat. He'd slept with this man so many times, yet he remained hyper-aware of his presence.
Mason took a moment to ground himself and calm down. This was a normal day, don't make it a big deal he told himself. He turned to lead Mark upstairs, only to find the other boy already staring at him.
Mason suddenly wished Mark hadn't looked him in the eyes. Mark's green eyes were always deep, powerful in their strength, but today Mark's gaze affected Mason even more than before. He stared at Mason like he didn't understand him. In Mark's eyes, Mason was a problem meant to be solved, a riddle he needed to understand. He looked up and down Mason's body as if searching for the clues before stopping at his eyes, where the answer must lie. Then, he stared at Mason's eyes like he was afraid. Afraid of what, Mason couldn't tell. But he didn't look away, continuing to stare with that fear and wonder for what felt like forever.
Mason desperately wanted to ask what Mark saw, but never gained the courage.
"Are your parents home?" Mark asked, eyes falling down to Mason's lips. Mason swallowed.
"No."
Mason expected Mark to hold him with the same speed and intensity that he always did these days. It was hot and quick and got the job done as efficiently as possible. It made sense why Mark would do it that way. But none of that insistent speed was anywhere to be found when Mark held him.
Mason had nearly forgotten what it felt like to have Mark take his time with him. To feel his hands moving down the expanse of his chest or kissing up his legs. To be able to see Mark's face when it happened, watching the effect he had on him at every single moment. Mason was wracked with an array of sensations and emotions and was unable to remain quiet.
As Mason writhed and convulsed from everything he experienced, Mark just watched him with the softest of expressions. It shouldn't have affected Mason as much as it did. Yet Mark's gentle stare, always concentrated solely on his face, made his eyes burn.
Was this what it felt like to be loved?
It was the first time Mason felt anything like it. Mark's stare alone created a warm hug around his heart and mind. It was a cruel joke, to feel so loved by a man who didn't love him.
Unfortunately, even though Mark took his time it didn't feel like long enough. Before Mason knew they were finished. He wished it never had to end, wished that they could stay in that beautiful passionate moment forever but it was over too soon. Mason laid down in his bed, waiting for Mark to leave like usual. It was what always happened, the guest would leave as soon as they were done since the sex was over.
But, as Mason laid on his side, staring at his bedside table, Mark pressed against his back. He draped his arm over Mason's torso and tightened his hold, pulling Mason into his front. What was happening didn't settle into Mason's mind until Mark tangled Mason's legs with his own. Mark then moved his head closer, his warm breath brushing against Mason's left ear.
"Can we just stay here?"
Mason didn't reply verbally. But the act of him leaning further onto Mark, letting him hold his weight, was enough confirmation. God, it had been so long Mason thought. His heart pounded loudly in his chest from nerves. It was ironic that after everything that happened, it felt easier to have sex with Mark than to be hugged by him. The embrace felt more personal somehow. More real. Tentatively, Mason lifted his hand to hold onto Mark's arm. Feeling Mason's fingers resting over his own, Mark tangled their fingers together, interlocking them.
As the two stayed there, holding one another, they didn't say a word. Mason instinctively knew that words would lead to questions and then explanations which Mark didn't want to share. Mason assumed that something had happened to Mark, sparking his sudden appearance and odd behaviour. It left him conflicted. He wanted Mark to be okay and not need these comforts. Yet, Mason didn't want this to go. He'd miss this. A Mark who cared. Maybe Mark had wanted to stretch this out for as long as he could, same as Mason, because he stayed there for a long time, silently holding Mason. They were there so long that Mason was half asleep by the time Mark untangled his body from Mason's and got out of the bed to leave.
Mason's part in this was to stay on the bed and act as if he didn't notice Mark leave, that was the usual plan. Mason forgot about it after everything that happened and sat up, watching Mark silently.
Mark's gotten over his weird mood, Mason thought as he watched him. He was getting dressed as swiftly as before, sparing no glance to Mason. Mason's heart dropped. It really was all in his head. This was as permanent as he feared. Nothing would change.
With his clothes on and phone in his pocket, Mark turned to go. Mason tilted his head, confused, when Mark stopped with his hand on the knob.
Suddenly, with no warning, Mark turned and marched up to where Mason sat on his bed.
"Wha-"
Mark's lips silenced Mason's confused words. It was brief and soft, gentle in its strength and gone as soon as it came. Mason, surprised, looked wide-eyed at Mark. Mark was looking down at him with that soft expression again, eyes focused intently on his face. It felt like he loved him.
"Good night." Mark whispered then walked out of the room.
Mason didn't want to hope. Hoping had failed him numerous times before and he has tried to give it up. But today, it was inevitable to think that meant something.
Mason was confused, conflicted, and craving more of his lover's presence. So, he picked up a pillow, shoved his face into it, and screamed.
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Wow, look at Mark being proactive.
What did you think?
I feel like this was the most detailed sex scene I've written for them, but it had a purpose.
Anywhy,
Vote, Comment, Share, Follow, anything else you can do with this book and I will see you next Chapter. Bye!!!