The light pitter of rain hitting my window woke me up. My body felt sticky. It felt gross. I felt something shift below me and see JJ, still sleeping. His hair was covering his eyes. He looked peaceful, he finally looked peaceful after all the hurt from the past weeks. I looked down and remembered the events from the night before. I shuttered at the thought. I had dreamed of that night for years, and it finally happened and I wasn't sure how to feel. I stood up, putting on JJ's shirt. It was huge on me so it went to my knees. I looked into the mirror and saw the bags under my eyes, and the love bites from him. They covered my neck and chest, some over my breasts as I lifted the shirt to see. The bruising from my mom was still fading slowly.
I looked back over to JJ, the covers barely covering his body. I could see everything above his waist. His abs, his scars, the bruising. I saw the marks I had left and tried not to laugh to hard. I was curious as to what his back looked like. I slowly walked over to the door and let it open slowly, trying not to wake him up. I didn't want to have the talk yet. I wanted the last memory of him to be laying naked in my bed with my DNA all over him. I shut the door behind me with a sigh of relief. I turned around on my heels and see none other than my best friend, John B.
"Well good morning sleeping beauty! You finally got up out of bed by yourself. I'm so proud of you." He came over to pick me up off my feet but I stopped him.
"JB, I'm not wearing pants. Or underwear." I scratch the back of my neck, the collar of JJ's shirt stretching out just enough for me to be exposed.
"Wha- What the hell is that?" He steps forward to get a closer look. "Open your door."
"No. Don't open my door. My rooms a mess."
He snuck past me and opened the door, but quickly shut it again.
"You have some explaining to do." He looked like an angry dad. I was trying so hard not to laugh at him.
"JB, I have some explaining to do with JJ when he's up."
"You seriously did it?" He seemed shocked.
I felt my cheeks heat up.
"You did! You macked on JJ!"
"We need to talk it out before anyone else gets details."
"Save me the details. I don't wanna know about your sex life, especially with him." He wiped his face with the back of his hand, running his hand through his hair. "In my house?!"
"In my room, silly."
"Yuck. What time was this? Was I home?"
"I don't know. Did Kie tell you about last night?"
"Yeah, I'm glad you guys made up. I'm sorry I couldn't help more."
I walked into his arms, wrapping mine around his neck.
"You did plenty. Thank you so much. You don't even know how much I appreciate you." I leaned out and placed a kiss on his cheek. "You were the only one here when I needed someone."
"It was no problem. But I expect you to fill me in later, okay?" He gave me those 'protective father' eyes. The ones I never really got to experience. He was looking out for me.
"Of course, dad."
He just smiled and walked outside into the backyard. I saw Kie and Pope out there too, they all laid in hammocks. It was a gloomy day out. I walked straight into the bathroom to hop into the shower. I felt dirty. I took off my shirt and stepped straight into the hot water. I let it run over my back and dampen my hair. As I was beginning to wash my hair, I heard the door creak open.
"Hey, I'm in here." I called out, no response. I just heard someone begin to pee, assuming it was John B. "Hello?"
The shower curtain began to pull back and I grabbed it, seeing his face. His blonde hair fell over his face, but I could still see his bright blue eyes burning a hole into me. I couldn't tell if I had an expression on my face or not, but he took whatever it was as an invite in. He was fully naked, and I felt my eyes go to the ceiling as I noticed.
"You're acting like you've never seen it before." His voice was deep and groggy. Morning voice was my guilty pleasure. He sounded so attractive.
"I'm just being respectful." I muttered, still not looking at him.
I wasn't sure if I was able to ever look at him the same way again. He made me so nervous.
"What? Do I make you nervous, cupcake?" He laughed into me, moving closer.
"Do you want me to be honest?" He gave me a nod in response. "Yes, you make me deathly nervous."
"Why is that? You didn't seem nervous last night."
"So, you remember last night?"
"How could I forget?" His hand pushed my wet hair out of my face, running his thumb over my cheek.
"I wasn't sure. I thought maybe you'd think it was a mistake, since you didn't actually like me."
"Rach, I was lying. I was so upset and angry at the world that I took out my insecurities on you, and I hurt you. I hurt you so badly. I'm so sorry for everything I said. I should've just asked you to be mine from the start instead of playing the cool guy. I wasn't sure if you'd want to be mine, so I didn't ask. I just thought the whole relationship thing was weird."
"J, don't put all this on you. I hurt you just as badly, if not worse. I feel so awful about what I said. I should've just asked nicely instead of running off and being a bitch about it all. I said some stupid shit that I would never say to you, I care about you more than I care about anyone, even myself. I never intended to hurt you."
"I can take it. I'm pretty tough, remember? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." His hand still remained on me, running circles over my cheek.
I realized I hadn't been looking into his eyes this entire time. I lifted my hand up and pulled his hair out of his face, but it kept falling. I laughed.
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. For sure." I laughed, deciding to wet my hands and pull his hair back so I could finally see his whole face. "There's my pretty boy." I smiled, squeezing his cheeks.
"Ow."
"I'm so sorry, J. For everything. Can you forgive me?"
"Only if you agree to one thing." I nodded my head. "Be mine. Like officially, let me take you out and show you off. I want you all to myself."
I smiled ear to ear and nodded.
"JJ Maybank, will you be my boyfriend?"
"Hey, I wanted to ask you."
"Too bad."
"Fine. I'll be your boyfriend. Only if you'll be my girlfriend."
***mature scene warning ;) enjoy***
I felt like this was some high school cheesy shit, but it was just awkward for him. No one had ever loved him before. It was going to take some time to getting used to, but he had already made me feel like the most special girl in the world. I just laughed in response and he pulled me into him, kissing me gently.
His lips were soft as they moved slowly against mine. I had almost forgot we were in the shower. He moved me up against the wall of the shower, his lips moving down my body again. He lightly bit against my skin, running over the same spots from the night before. I felt my mouth let out a soft moan into his neck. My head was resting against his shoulder as I felt him enter me once again. I let my fingers run down the back of his spine to keep myself steady, the shower was an odd place for this. I felt like we could slip at any minute. He moved slowly, just as he did the night before. He wanted me to feel safe, and I did. I felt the safest when I was with him.
I lifted my face up to lock eyes with him. He steadied me, keeping his eyes on mine. He moved a little faster now, watching my facial expressions change as the pace did. I awkwardly felt like laughing, because he was just staring into me like I was a black hole. But maybe he just was admiring me in the moment. I'm sure I couldn't look that well. I finally felt my legs twitch and he exited me, leaning his forehead against mine.
"You're so beautiful." He said in between hitched breaths.
"Did you mean what you said last night?"
"I meant every single thing. What part are you asking about in particular?"
"Do you love me?"
He lifts his forehead slightly up, placing his lips on mine for a few moments.
"Of course I do. I've loved you for a long time. I always will."
"Say it." I moaned out as he kissed me again.
"I love you, Rachel McDaniels."
"I love you so much, JJ Maybank."
I definitely had a lot of explaining to do later.