My house was completely empty, no one left but me. It was already late at night as I had just returned from district 13.
I let myself fall onto my bed. The familiar emptiness inside of me was overwhelming. Due to all the new insights I had been distracted from my sorrow, but now it was hitting me full force. There would be no one to comfort me this time.
I looked at the empty bed beside me. Rue had barely used it. She had always been with me to hold me when I had had a nightmare. If I got any sleep the nightmares would definitely eat me up tonight.
Silent tears flew down my cheeks. I could be sure to have someone to return to after this war if I survived it. Like two years ago after my games. But it would never be the same again and I could not bear it.
A ringing sound captured my ears. After a few seconds I realized that it was the phone.
"You jerk didn't call back", Johanna yelled at me. She had waited the whole time?
"Sorry, I ..."
"Wait! Are you crying?", she interrupted me.
"Doesn't matter", I replied. "I will join the rebellion and fight together with my people. My family is safe."
"Dammit! We can't talk freely on the phone and I can't visit you either. But if you die I will kill you!"
"If Snow killed me now it would just enrage my district even more. It wouldn't be a wise move and he isn't stupid."
Suddenly the phone call was interrupted. I tried calling again, but it did not work, neither with Finnick and Annie, or any other victor.
I knocked onto Seeder's door.
"(f/n)? It's pretty late", a sleepy Seeder greeted me.
Without asking I stepped into her house and went to her phone. It was not working either.
"What is it, (f/n)?", Seeder worried.
"Snow cut us off. The phones don't work anymore", I realized. "He is afraid that we ally against him because of the riots. He is aware that many of us hold a grudge against him and that it will get harder to control us. So he uses a preventive strategy."
"I saw your family leaving earlier. What is going on?", Seeder asked.
"I had to make sure they are safe. Seeder, as a victor and Rue's sister I can't stand by." She nodded understandingly.
"The riots began with Katniss' salute. I think she didn't even notice that she was opposing the Capitol or at least not to what extent. She sparked a small flame. You could easily turn it into a huge fire."
I nodded and went back to my house. To me, no peace would be worth Rue's death. But I had no time to grieve now.
My breathing quickened at the sight of the familiar rooms inside my house. Everything reminded me of what I had lost, of the fact that I was all alone right now.
Hence I climbed onto a tree outside. One that Rue had never climbed onto because she had not liked plums.
When I closed my eyes I felt like I was inside the arena again. The feeling inside of me was too similar to the feeling I had had during my games. Alone in a battle I most probably would not be able to survive. Where every action I chose could mean the death of a human, whether it was me or someone else. Without any control or knowledge about what the Capitol was going to throw at me next. Nevertheless I had to make a choice between risking my life fighting or most likely dying without fighting. Snow had taken the decision from me when he had killed Rue.
On the next day I went to the stage and talked to the peacekeepers: "President Snow asked me to talk to the rebels. Could you gather them for me, please?"
They complied. Snow must had told them about his request.
The crowd looked uneasy.
"People of district 11! I think all of you know me, but still ... I'm (f/n) (l/n)! The victor of the 72nd Hunger Games and Rue's older sister! That we never shared the same name or blood didn't matter to us! I loved her more than I thought was possible! Therefore her death was devastating for me! I have watched her through her whole games, as her mentor and her sister! It was cruel! President Snow asked me to talk to you due to the uprisings you cause! He wants me to stop you, because many people are going to die if this goes on! He told me that Rue has died to maintain the peace as the Hunger Games have been developed for that exact purpose! But the Hunger Games never meant to keep us safe or to prevent casualties! They are meant to suppress us! Snow thinks that Katniss sparked a flame, which could evolve into a giant flame eating up Panem! But you know what? It wasn't Rue's death causing the riots! It wasn't Katniss causing the riots! It was President Snow himself! We are fighting because something is wrong! Because we need to change the way Panem works! President Snow! I'm sure you are seeing this right now or at least are going to see this! What do you think? What would you say, if we crumbled the ground beneath you? What would you say, if we left you with the choice between freezing to death or running into a losing battle? What would you say, if we sent tracker jackers after you or set your surroundings on fire? What would you say, if we made your granddaughter suffer an agonizing death, right in front of your eyes? You take everything from us and expect us to stand still and watch! But we are not just some pawns in your sick games! You aren't the ruler of our lives! It's up to us to decide! We are the people of Panem! We are the ones ruling this country! Prepare yourself to get extinguished by your own fire! Let us melt the snow! For our freedom! For the people of Panem! For Rue!"
The crowd started screaming and fighting the peacekeepers.
I felt a bullet pierce my leg making me sink to the ground. But I had to be a role model now.
I stood up and smirked provocatively into the camera that was always hanging at the wall of the building. They needed more to detain a victor. Snow himself had been the one making us so endurable with the endless suffering he had brought over us. Now he had to pay for it.
The fighting went on for a long time but was stopped as more peacekeepers arrived.
The resisting got fiercer when the peacekeepers dragged me away. They let me go inside the town hall, in front of a screen.
"Hello, (f/n). I got your message and see that you have chosen your side. You may be a victor, but don't forget that you can never truly win the games", President Snow himself reminded me.
"Only if I play after your rules", I interjected.
He simply smiled. "We will see if you regret your choice."
The screen turned black.
I finally collapsed due to the blood loss.
I used my jacket once again to bandage my wound up.
My life would consist of endless Hunger Games if I did not change anything.
Ignoring the pain I left the building. The sight in front of me was horrifying. For now the riots had stopped. Many people had already lost their lives, rebels as well as peacekeepers. But now that Rue had died it felt like nothing could break me anymore, like I could not be broken more than I already was.
Everyone was secretly staring at me when I passed the fields and orchards on the way back to my house. I was walking as straight as I could to show them that I had not given up.
The next months were excruciating. I made sure to eat properly hoping that it would at least make up a bit for my lack of sleep.
The uprising after my speech had been the most crucial one until now but there had been more.
The peacekeepers in district 11 had grown in numbers and brutality, though the citizens struggled against the punishments now. We had started standing up for each other again even if it meant an additional punishment. We were not some scared and suppressed individuals anymore but one strong and brave united district.
Today was a special occasion. Peeta and Katniss would arrive here. After all we were their first district of the victory tour.
The peacekeepers had found out long ago that my family was not living in the victor's village anymore. They had tried to get me to spill my knowledge, to no avail. So I was the only one standing in front of Rue's giant picture, towering over the other members of my district.
My gaze was fixated on the stage I had stood on too many times for my own good. No positive emotions were connected to it.
My eyes wandered to Thresh's family. I had talked to them after my first great riot. We had understood each other as grieving family members and I had talked with them about Thresh. His death pained me as well. It was just overshadowed by Rue's.
The voice of the mayor ripped me out of my thoughts: "The victors of the 74th Hunger Games! Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark!"
The applause was almost non-existent.
The smile on the victor's faces upset me but I knew perfectly well that they had to act.
I noticed Katniss' smile falter when she looked into my direction.
"Thank you", Peeta began. "We are honored to be here with you today. And to be with the families of the fallen tributes."
iThere was a long, painful silence hovering over us.
I noticed that Peeta put his cards away. I had clung onto them during me victory tour but Peeta had always been great with words. "I know they fought and lived with honor and dignity until the end. Both Thresh ... and Rue ... were so young. But our lives aren't just measured in years. They are measured in the lives of the people we touch around us. For myself ... for Katniss ... we know that without Rue ... and without Thresh, we wouldn't be standing here today. So in recognition of that, knowing that it in no way could make up for your loss, we would like to donate one month of our winnings to the families of the tributes every year for the rest of our lives."
I had to admit that I was shocked about that. He probably just included me because it would have been degrading for Rue, if he had not.
Now true applause resounded through the crowd.
"Thank you", Peeta finished and looked at Katniss.
They were about to leave when Katniss stopped in her tracks and looked in my direction again, the huge picture of Rue behind me. I had not dared to turn around and look at the picture myself, the whole time.
To my surprise Katniss did move to the microphone now. "I just wanted to say that I didn't know Thresh. I only spoke to him once. He could have killed me, but instead he showed me mercy. That's a debt I will never be able to repay."
Her gaze wandered from Thresh's family to me. "I did know Rue. She wasn't just my ally. She was my friend." Her voice broke slightly, showing that she was suppressing her tears. "Everything that's beautiful brings her to my mind. I see her in the yellow flowers that grow in the meadow by my house. I see her in the mockingjays that sing in the trees. I see her in my sister Prim. She was too young ... too gentle. And I couldn't save her. I'm sorry."
My vision was blurry from the tears I tried to keep in. I had felt every word Katniss had said.
I wanted to approach her, to talk to her, but I was stuck on my pedestal once more. It was ironic how exactly this whole situation resembled my games and the time after.
Suddenly I heard a whistle in the crowd. It was the melody Katniss had made during the games. Then I saw the hand of the old man in the air, saluting. All of us followed his example.
Of course, the peacekeepers immediately intervened. It had happened many times during the last months, but not to that extent.
Obviously Katniss had not known about the extreme situation our district was in. What was happening here while the rest of Panem did not have a clue because the Capitol kept it a secret.
Katniss stormed toward the crowd screaming: "No!"
But the peacekeepers dragged her away. They did not care that she resisted and kept on pleading to leave the old man alone. He was shot anyway.
I jumped down from my pedestal and joined the fight. I would not back down, no matter the cost. I had promised myself ... and Rue.
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So what do you think? What do you think about the fact that the victor's aren't able to communicate over the phone anymore? Do you like the speech of the reader? Honestly I just wrote it down in the matter of a few minutes without stopping. Haha. Please let me know your opinion in the comments!