I felt the cool wind continue to hit my face as I sat on Joe's shoulder. At this altitude, in this late hour, it was much colder than I could have anticipated. Of course I had planned to go home with Aaron in his car, but of course I didn't even make it to the end of the dance without winding up back in what was seemingly becoming my home away from home, the principal's office.
One moment I was in pure bliss sharing a tender kiss with Trent, the next I was surrounded by yells and screams seeming to vibrate the entire cafeteria.
They thought he was trying to eat me. Giants who saw Trent and I actually thought he was trying to eat me instead of kiss me. This really brought to light that it was apparently more believable for Trent to look at me as a snack than oh, I don't know, a fricken PERSON, he just might have liked.
When I thought my life couldn't get more humiliating than the initial commotion in the cafeteria, I then had to explain what was actually happening between Trent and I to both Vice Principal Marshall, Principal Howard, and then a very worried, and overly concerned Joe. Truth be told, I've always felt a little on the outside being one of those march to the beat of my own drum types, but today was a whole new level of individuality I was in no way trying to reach. I can assure you, that without a doubt I was the only person in the entire school who first very nearly scared her date half to death by not warning him that her dad was in fact many stories bigger than him, only to turn around and offend said dad, because it was apparently imperative that both dad and date felt uncomfortable, and then to top it all off I was caught kissing another guy who was not my date, only for the school to freak out and call home because it apparently looked like I was about to be eaten.
Once Joe and I finally arrived home, it felt like deja vu to my first day of school where all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and hide from my problems in my bed, but instead Joe walked straight to the kitchen and placed me on my pedestal atop his giant table. Silently, Joe sat down in one of his chairs and struck me with a look of disappointment. Of course he was disappointed, I'm a huge embarrassment to him. First I dropped the M word at him, then I humiliated him in front of the principal and vice principal of the school he's put so much into. I'm the worst.
"Would you like me to start?" Joe finally asked, breaking the silence. I couldn't yet find my voice so I shook my head yes. "I don't think you need a lecture from me, cuz I'm sure you're doing that to yourself in that head of yours, but I might need to say some things that I think you need to fully understand." I again found myself nodding my head on the verge of breaking over anticipation of what Joe was about to say.
"Morgan, I love you unconditionally. So you know what that means? It's not a temporary thing. Nothing about you is temporary for me. I say this because I sometimes feel like you think I'm going to just wake up and be done with you one day or something, but if you could see how much of my heart you take up, you'd see that that's impossible."
I didn't know what to say. That wasn't at all the direction I thought Joe was going with the convo. I mean, a part of me knew and believed he loved me unconditionally, but with Mom no longer here, it just felt like the family glue was missing.
Next, Joe surprised me once again by apologizing for his behavior earlier today. If anyone should have been apologizing, it should have been me! I'm the one who dropped the M word! However, Joe refused to let me interrupt him to apologize. He continued making his point clear, and then revealed that his demeanor toward Aaron had shifted earlier because he knew Aaron's father, Anthony Trust.
Surprised to hear Joe confirm the suspensions Aaron and I had earlier about the possibility of Joe and Aarons dad knowing each other, I pleaded to hear how they knew each other. Joe clearly wasn't thrilled to know Aaron's dad, and as Jade would say, I needed to hear the juice. Of course, Joe wasn't going to make it all that easy. Joe suggested we take turns answering questions. If you give an answer, the other person has to give an answer next.
"Alright Boss, give me an honest answer. Did this giant boy take advantage of you, or not."
My God, Joe did not waste any time going there.
"No. H-he didn't," I responded as I'm certain even through my brown skin, I must have been turning red from the awkwardness of talking boys with Joe. Additionally my answer seemed to make Joe shift uncomfortably. Great. Maybe he'd drop this line of questioning.
"Do you like this boy?" Joe asked, telling me he most certainly was not dropping his questioning.
"Wait, isn't it my turn to ask you?"
"Just, answer me first. Do you like this boy?"
The guilty expression on my face must have given me away, for Joe leaned back in his chair wiping a hand over his face, as if he was trying to wipe the stress away.
"Morgan... You're killin me kid." Joe mumbled in a raspy, tired tone. "Aren't there any nice human boys around these days?"
"Well... there's Aaron..." I replied sheepishly. In response to my reply Joe's dark brown eyes looked up at the ceiling as he let out a sigh so huge that It felt like a gust of wind had flown past.
"I mean, aren't there any nice human boys who aren't that Trust boy."
"What's really the problem with Aaron?" I quickly asked.
"He's not good for you,"
"A-and what happened between you and Aaron's dad?"
"Drop this Morgan, nothing happened. Wait, did that boy tell you something happened?" Joe asked defensively, raising his already loud, vibrative voice at the end.
"N-no, he didn't."
"Please tell me you didn't kiss him too?"
"But you didn't answer my question. Why won't you tell me about Anthony Trust?"
"Enough!" Joe yelled as his hand slammed down on the table causing my entire pedestal to quake from the force. Additionally his voice was so loud and vibrative that I had to cover my ears.
"I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to raise my voice. You can sit back down. I won't do that again." Joe spoke with a much gentler tone.
I hadn't realized I was now standing. I got nervous from his outburst, and was now stood with my back against my light brown cabinets behind my little table.
"W-why wont you tell me how you know Aaron's dad?"
Once again Joe looked up to the ceiling on a sigh before answering, "Because it's not for me to tell. It- it's complicated. I mean, I guess now I have to be the one to tell you, but can we just wait until you're a little older, and then I promise to tell you."
It was now my turn to get mad. I couldn't believe he threw that "wait until you're older" crap at me!
"I'm plenty old enough now!"
"Sweetheart, I... Your mother was waiting until you were older to tell you, so I won't go against-"
"She's dead! Dead as in she's not here now, not here later. She's never coming back, so it doesn't matter."
"It matters to me," Joe replied with caution as if he felt my outburst coming, and he was trying to defuse the bomb. Unfortunately, time was up for the ticking time-bomb that was me at that moment, and I blew up at Joe.
"Well, it shouldn't. If you saw me as your real daughter like you try to tell me you do, it wouldn't matter what Mom wanted. But you don't! You still see me as Mom's daughter. And so since she's gone, and we all know there's no trace of my real dad, then I guess this whole conversation is pointless. You don't like Aaron, and guess what, he probably doesn't like me anymore anyways after tonight. No one will like me after tonight. Not even Trent I bet, because who would like someone that people think looks more like a snack than a potential girlfriend,"
I stood frozen, nearly shaking with anger before a familiar hand wrapped around me, and I was gently scooped up and brought to a familiar chest that always brought me comfort. Joe held me up against his relatively fast beating heart while I attempted to breathe and calm down.
"I get upset over everything these days," I admitted.
"Me too," Joe agreed.
"You do?"
With a low chuckle that sent vibrations through my body Joe answered,"Of course I do. Haven't you noticed? It's... well... it's a part of grief, or so I've read."
"Grief?"
"Yeah sweetheart. We are both goin through it, and it manifests in its own ways. We get angry at things we wouldn't have before. We get sad quicker than we used to. We've lashed out at the people we're closest to, and that's just par for the course I guess."
"This is because Mom's..."
"Yep. But, you know what? We're going to be alright, you and I. We're going to get through this. The universe doesn't put us through circumstances we can't handle."
"You sound like Mom," I replied, feeling hot tears of both exhaustion and hope run down my cheeks.
"You know what Mom would say right now?" Joe asked with a mischievous smile spreading across his face as he lifted me higher so we were face to face.
"She'd say not only is she so proud of you, but that you should feel so proud of yourself."
"For what?!"
"For being the fierce, fearless, and brave young woman you've become."
______________________________________________________________________
Next day
I was sitting next to Joe on the couch while we both had a lazy Saturday in matching sweat pants, with our own matching bowls of snacks, when a knock sounded at our door. Joe and I looked at one another, confused as to why someone was at the door on a Saturday. Since the journey to the front door would be much longer for me, and Joe is the homeowner after all, he made his way to the front door.
"Hello Sir," said a voice that clearly belonged to a giant. In fact, a giant that sounded somewhat familiar.
"Can I help you?" Joe asked in his professional tone.
"Um yeah. I'm a friend of Morgan's, and I wanted to know if she might be available?"
"And what is your name?"
"Trent. Trent Reed."