CHAPTER EIGHT
While McKenna was out with Shannon, Loki got the twins fed and down for their naps, along with Aislinn, and while those three slept, he and Selig battled it out in MarioKart.
"Rainbow Road, Daddy?" Selig groaned, flopping backward on the sofa. "I'm awful at this!"
"So am I." Loki smiled at him. "But it'll be fun to see which of us is the worst."
"I always fall off," Selig grumbled, although he sat upright once more as the game started up.
Loki wasn't much better at it, biting back a swear as his car went flying off the rainbow loop while Selig blazed by him and into first place. The doorbell rang as Loki's car was lifted back onto the track. He paused the game and stood, tucking his phone into his front pocket. "Hold on, Sel. I'll be right back. Do you need more juice while I'm up?"
Selig shook his head. "No, but can I have a snack?"
"What do you want?"
"Chips?"
"How about some fruit instead?"
Selig made a face. "Ugh. Okay. A banana?"
"I'll get it as soon as I get rid of whoever's at the door." Loki winked at him as he jogged to the door and pulled it open.
His smile faded as James O'Neill said, "Please... just... I want to talk to McKenna."
"She's not here and I think it would be best if you didn't come back again. She's already-"
"She's my daughter, Loki. My only child."
"And it's best if you just leave her be." Loki pulled the door closed behind him. "She does not wish to see you or speak with you and she'd be upset if she knew you were here."
"Maybe you could talk to her. Tell her I'm sorry."
Loki folded his arms over his chest. He stood at least five inches taller than O'Neill. "No. I have to respect her wishes and she wishes to be left alone."
O'Neill sighed, rubbing his hand over his bald head. "I understand why she's angry. I understand why she hates me. What I did was unforgivable. But..."
"You walked out on her. You just left her. Yes, that's unforgivable."
O'Neill shook his head. "I tried to come back but her mother wouldn't let me near her. Told me to leave her be, that she was better off without me. Which was probably right. I was a drunk. I was a mess. But I'm not any longer."
His blue eyes were red and he didn't even try to halt the tears that spilled over to course along his leathery cheeks. "I know I made a terrible mistake. I should have fought harder to see her, to be part of her life. But I thought I was doing what was best."
Loki sighed softly. "It isn't my decision, James. It isn't up to me and I will not force McKenna to speak with you if she doesn't wish to."
"Tell me at least how many grandchildren I have. Please."
Loki glanced at the front windows, although he couldn't see into the family room. Truth be told, he felt sorry for the old man on his front steps. Rubbing his chin with one hand, Loki turned back to O'Neill. "Four. Two boys and two girls."
O'Neill smiled. "Really? How old?"
"Selig's five. Well, he'll be five in October. Aislinn will be two on Christmas. Our youngest, Nicholas and Kyra, are twins and they are six weeks old."
"Can I see them?"
"That is something you'll have to ask McKenna." Loki dug his phone from his pocket and toggled to his pictures. He scrolled through, finding the most recent one of the four children. It had been taken in Asgard, on the beach not far from the Sølvfoss-the Silver Falls, that was his and McKenna's special, private spot.
O'Neill's voice wobbled as he whispered, "My God...They are beautiful. She-" he tapped Kyra's face-"looks just like Kenna did when she was a baby."
"I can see that." Loki exited the photos and tucked his phone back into his pocket. "And I don't know when McKenna will be home, so it's probably best if you leave now."
"Please, talk to her for me? Tell her how sorry I am."
"I'm afraid I cannot do that."
"Tell me, how long have you been together? And tell me she is happy."
"We're married five years in January and yes, I do believe she is happy. I've done my best to make certain she is."
"Good. She deserves to be happy."
"I know she does." Loki gestured to the dark blue pickup truck parked in the driveway. It was the only car there, as Loki's black Mustang was in the garage. "Now, you should probably go."
O'Neill drew in a shaky breath. "I just want to tell her how sorry I am." He looked up at Loki with teary faded blue-gray eyes. "And I am sorry. I thought I was doing the best thing for her. I honestly did. Tell her that, please."
"I'm not even certain I'm going to tell her you came back," Loki told him in a low voice. "You should just leave her be."
O'Neill sniffed, swiping at one eye with an impatient hand. "I need to see her. To talk to her. I don't..." his voice broke, so he cleared his throat and tried again. "I don't have a lot of time left and I wanted... wanted to tie up all my loose ends."
That curdled in Loki's gut. The man dropped out of McKenna's life, chose to stay away for all of those years, only to come back because he was dying? "So, you've come back to burden her with guilt because you were too much the coward to face her before? It's only now you've the-no. I won't let you do that to her." He shoved open the front door and took a backward step up onto the sill. "You stay away from her now."
"You can't keep me from her. She has to talk to me eventually."
Loki gritted his teeth. "I can, and I will. Trust me, you do not wish to cross me and you do not wish to challenge me."
"She's my daughter."
"And she's my wife." Loki folded his arms over his chest. "And before you even think to threaten, know this-there is nothing you can do to harm me, Midgardian. But-" He held out one hand and wiggled his fingers. In the palm of his hand sat a small flame, one that gave off no heat to him-"you do not wish to cross me."
O'Neill stared at the fire. "How did you do that?"
"Because I am a god."
"A god?" O'Neill arched one graying sandy brow.
"If you do not believe me, simply Google my name. You'll find out exactly who and what I am and why you would be better off simply drifting out of her life again."
"Daddy?" Selig appeared at his side, peering out at O'Neill. "Who is that man, Daddy?"
"He's just leaving, Sel. Are your brother and sisters still sleeping?"
"Selig?" O'Neill made to crouch down, but Loki stopped him by ducking and pressing a hand to his thin chest.
"No. You need to leave now." Without looking down at Selig, Loki added, "Go back inside, Sel, and check on your brother and sisters for me, all right?"
"Yes, Daddy." Confusion wove through Selig's voice, but he did as he was told and as soon as Loki was certain he was out of earshot, he stepped back onto the porch, his hand still firm on O'Neill's chest, and tugged the door shut behind him.
"Do not make me repeat myself." He flicked his fingers and not only did the driver's side door of the pickup truck open, but the engine turned over. "You will go now and you will not come back. Is that understood?"
O'Neill stared first at his now-running truck and then back at Loki. "How did you do that?"
"I'm a god, O'Neill. I can do anything I wish. And trust me, you do not wish to defy me." Loki took another step toward him, this time gripping him by his upper arm. "For if you do, I will make you regret it. And if you do anything to hurt McKenna, you can never be sorry enough. Do I make myself clear?"
"A god. My daughter married a psycho."
"Hardly. Google me. You'll see." He gestured toward the truck with his free hand. "Now, I suggest you leave. Trust me, you do not wish to anger me any further."
O'Neill must have come to the same conclusion, as he nodded and turned to step down off the porch. "O-of course. But... please... if she changes her mind. I'll be in town for a few more days. I'm at the Hampton, off Seventy-Eight."
"I'll let her know." Loki shifted to face him completely, arms folded over his chest, watching as O'Neill hurried to climb into his truck. He rocketed out of the driveway and Loki remained standing where he was until the taillights could no longer be seen.
The door opened behind him and Selig stepped out. "Who was that, Daddy?"
"No one you need worry about, Sel." Loki unfolded his arms and reached down to rumple Selig's bushy black hair. "Still sleeping?"
He nodded. "Yes, Daddy." But his gaze remained in the direction the truck had gone and with a low sigh, he said, "Is that Mommy's daddy?"
Loki stilled his hand and said, "Yes, Selig. That was Mommy's father."
"So why did you send him away? Why did Mommy send him away?"
There were so many questions in Selig's wide, innocent blue eyes, and Loki couldn't lie to him. Didn't want to lie to him. Lies led to more lies and when the truth finally came out-as it always did-the ramifications were always far worse than they would have been if the truth had been told the first time around.
With that in mind, Loki sat on the top step and patted the concrete next to him. "Sit down, Sel. I'll try to explain it."
Selig sat beside him, leaning his head against Loki's shoulder. It was so much like the way McKenna leaned against him, that Loki couldn't help but smile. Selig might look like him, but he was as much his mother's son as he was his father's.
"Do you remember when you asked me what divorce was?"
Selig nodded. "Yeah. Like Celia's mommy and daddy. They're divorced."
"Right. Well, Mommy's parents were also divorced. When Mommy was just a few years older than you."
"They were?"
Loki nodded. "Her father was supposed to come and visit her, just like Celia's dad does every other weekend."
"She hates having to go with him. She says it's no fun since her daddy's got a new girlfriend now."
"I imagine it isn't much fun for her, then. But, he's trying at least. That's the important thing." Loki draped his arm about Selig's shoulders. "In Mommy's case, her father didn't even do that. He just never came around. This morning is the first time she's seen him since she was a little girl."
Selig's eyes went round. "Really?"
"Really. So, understandably, Mommy is angry with him."
"Like she was with you that time in Asgard when you and Unca Thor woke everyone up because you'd had too much ale?"
Loki smiled and nodded. "Almost. She wasn't nearly as angry with me over that, though."
"You were really loud. And what was that song you were singing?"
"Never mind. That was a long time ago and we were celebrating. Things merely got a little out of hand."
Selig grinned. "Mommy made you sleep in Unca Thor's chambers that night."
"Yes, she did. And I deserved it." Loki only recalled bits and pieces of that night, as most of it was buried in ale-covered fuzz. But McKenna was furious with him and she did make him sleep in Thor's chambers for two nights. It wouldn't have been nearly as bad, if she hadn't been hugely pregnant at the time. Her emotions always got the best of her when her hormones ran rampant and with twins, she was on the verge of killing him more than once.
"Is that why Mommy went out?"
"She needed some time to herself. Even mommies get upset from time to time."
Selig nodded, leaning his head against Loki's shoulder. A few minutes passed, and then he looked up. "Is Mommy sad?"
"I think she is in some ways. I think she misses what she could have had, if he'd been around."
Selig's eyes clouded. "I don't get it."
"When you grow up, and you look back, your memories will be mostly happy ones. With me and Mommy there. She didn't have that. And I think she misses that she didn't."
"I would miss you if you just left."
"Sel, that will never happen. I promise you that." He tightened his arm about Selig's shoulders. "You and your brother and your sisters mean the world to me. I cannot imagine going more than a day or two without seeing you because I choose to do so. I've had to do it, and I've hated every last moment of it. All I can think about is coming home to you and your mother."
Some of the worry left Selig's eyes and his lips rose at their corners. "So, do you think Mommy will stay mad at him?"
"Honestly?" Loki nodded. "I do. And I think she has every right to be angry for as long as she wishes."
"Do you think she's sad?" Selig's voice dropped to almost a whisper. "Because I think I would be sad, if you didn't want to see me any more."
Loki sighed softly. His firstborn was such an old soul in so many ways. He shifted on the concrete to face Selig, and brushed a wayward black curl back from his pale forehead. "Selig, I would never not want to see you. Not ever. You needn't worry about that, little man."
"But he probably thought the same thing."
How was it possible Selig was only going to be five? He was far older than his years, far more intuitive and much more sensitive than most boys his age. But in that respect, he was also his father's son, for didn't Frigga often say the same things about him when he was a boy?
"I'll wager he did, Sel. And to be fair, I don't know the circumstances and neither does your mother. But at the same time, if you want something badly enough, it can be attained. You might have to work a lot harder and suffer a lot more, but it can happen."
"Daddy?"
"What?"
"Are you going to tell Mommy he was here again?"
"I don't know, Sel. I think it'll upset her, and I don't like to upset her." He pulled Selig closer and bent to kiss the top of his head. "What do you think?"
Selig pondered, chewing on his bottom lip as he leaned his head back against Loki's side. "I think you should tell her. She might change her mind."
"You're a very smart little boy, Selig. Did you know that?"
Selig smiled. "Yeah. Mommy tells me that all the time. She says I'm too smart for my own good sometimes."
"You are, but this isn't one of those times." Loki slapped his palms against his thighs. "Why don't we go finish our race before the others wake up and your mom comes home?"
"Okay, but I don't want to do Rainbow Road again."