After training, just as you're leaving the training room, Natasha runs up to you.
"We have a problem. Come with me." Natasha orders.
You quickly follow her into the meeting room. Once in the room, you see Tony and Steve off to the side having a private conversation, so you sit down next to Bucky.
"What's this about?" You ask.
Steve and Tony turn around to look at you and Bucky.
"We need to retrieve something from a very highly protected and dangerous place," Tony explains.
"The scepter is gone, and we need to get it back," Steve clarifies.
"We need Bucky to do it," Tony informs.
Everyone looks to Bucky, who's now nervously shifting in his chair, clearly uncomfortable with the attention focused on him. You grab his hand, lightly squeezing it while giving him a reassuring smile. It calms him down, and he gives you a warm grin back.
"The scepter is at Hydra..." Tony adds.
Thankfully, everyone's attention returns to Tony, but Bucky's smile instantly drops. You can sense the pain in his gorgeous blue eyes.
"He knows Hydra base setups inside out. That makes him our best chance at getting the scepter back." Tony continues.
"But does he have t-"
"I'll do it." Bucky cuts Steve off in a whisper, "I just want to help."
You feel everyone's eyes on you as you turn Bucky's chair and kneel in front of him, taking his hands in your own.
"You don't have to do this! I know it'll be too painful... please don't go." You beg.
You get up, turn around, and look Tony in the eyes. You take a deep breath as you decide to open up a bit more.
"I've been at Hydra before... I know things that people don't know. I know the person who had a lot of say in many Hydra things." You reveal, "I know he wouldn't let things change, so I know the layouts better than any of you. I'll go instead of Bucky."
Bucky stands up as you turn around and look him in the eyes. He holds a pained expression with the realization of what they must have done to you.
"You've been there?" Bucky asks in a quiet voice.
"Yeah, what?!" Tony exclaims.
You look away from Bucky, moving a bit to look back at Tony and Steve.
"Why were you keeping this from us? You aren't supposed to keep secrets." Steve reminds, upset that you kept this from the team.
You look back towards Bucky while looking down as a tear falls down your cheek. Soon you turn around but don't dare to look up to end up meeting Steve's disappointed gaze.
"My father worked there... my mother worked at S.H.I.E.L.D., so I was at S.H.I.E.L.D. half the time and at Hydra the other half..." You start to explain as another tear falls down your cheek.
"My parents never knew where the other worked, and I didn't really understand what was going on in the two organizations, let alone that they were at war. Sadly I soon found out what side was evil." You continue as your eyes flood with tears. A few end up coming out and racing down your cheeks.
"My father discovered my mom worked for S.H.I.E.L.D., and I found out that my father cared more about the information I might have than me and my well-being."
You wipe away a few more escaped tears, "They, uh... they tortured me for a month straight... I was only twelve."
You hesitantly roll up your sleeves and remove a spell, revealing scars all over you.
"They shocked me, burned me, beat me, and cut me all over..." You whisper.
You breathe out a laugh, "They actually made a horrible mistake."
You look up to meet everyone but Steve's eyes as you scan the room, "They unlocked my powers... they hurt me to the point that they made me defend myself, so I-I..."
You clear your throat, "...I killed them..." You whisper as a few more tears escape again.
"I didn't mean to!" You defend, "I never would've done it on purpose... I loved and respected my father, but he- he didn't love me back, and he didn't protect me."
You take a deep breath, "I used my newfound powers to... to do what I did to escape. I only told Uncle Nick, and he took care of everything, so I didn't have to deal with it anymore."
You finally look Steve straight in the eyes, "Now I have no more secrets." You state dryly.
You hold back your river of tears as you hastily walk out of the room full of speechless Avengers.
After you get a bit down the hallway, you lean against the wall. Your body can't hold back the tears beginning to flow freely down your face as you bury your face in your hands.
"Y/N... I had no idea. I-I'm so sorry." Bucky apologizes softly, revealing his presence.
You lift your head and look him in the eyes, "I'm a monster, Bucky." You breathe out.
"You aren't a monster. You told me I'm not a monster, and I've done worse to people who didn't deserve it." Bucky gently reminds you.
"But you were brainwashed and tortured for longer than a month. Mine was just a month." You point out.
"Doesn't make it any less valid, doll." Bucky smiles as he wipes a few more tears from your cheeks, "You aren't a monster, Y/N. Please believe me."
You smile weakly and nod, "Now you know we can relate more than ever, and I hope you know you always have me."
Bucky helps you up and pulls you into a soothing hug.
"I'll go..." He whispers in your ear.
You pull away from the hug, "Only if you take me, and just so you know, there's no changing my mind."
"Fine, but only because you're the toughest fighter I know, and I'll be with you." He compromises.
"Besides, I know better than to argue with you." He adds.
You both chuckle before walking back to the others.
"We're going to go together," Bucky announces.
"Umm... okay then." Tony agrees.
You're in the common room looking over the mission file when Bucky walks in and sits next to you on the couch.
You look up at him, "Hey."
"Hey. Remember last night when you stayed with me?"
You slowly nod, "Yes..."
"You weren't cold, were you? You were having a nightmare about Hydra, weren't you?"
You look down, "...Um, yeah."
"You could've told me," Bucky says softly.
"I didn't want to burden you..."
Bucky lifts your chin, "It's no burden. I care about you."
You smile, "Same goes for you."
"Thank you again for taking care of me."
"Well... I know what it's like, and I can't stand when people I care about are in pain." You admit.
You smile before checking your watch and standing up, "I have to go find Wanda for training. See you later."
"See you."
You leave the room, but when you hear a weird noise, you stop in your tracks. When you head to the noise, you see Loki fighting a man in the hallway by your room.
"Loki, what the hell is going on?!"
"I'd love to explain, darling-" Loki's interrupted by the man punching him in the gut, leaving him a bit breathless, "But I'm kind of in the middle of something."
Once the man hurts Loki, you instantly unconsciously wrap your magic around the man, lifting him off of the ground.
"Who's this?" You ask Loki.
"I'm not sure, but he was walking towards your room."
You furrow your brows.
Why would someone be going to my room unless they were looking for me?
Loki gestures to the man, "Want me to deal with him? I have some good methods."
"Loki..."
"I promise not to hurt him... too much, at least."
"Hm." You hum in thought, "I guess if he struggles, roughing him up a bit is fine."
You see Loki's smile before you look at the man as you turn him to face you.
"Who are you?" You question aggressively.
"I'm just another head that can be replaced if cut off."
Hydra. But why are they targeting me?
You bring him closer, "Who. Are. You?!"
"It doesn't matter. They'll get you no matter what."
So someone's after me...
"Who's they?!"
The man smiles, "It's no fun to tell you."
You smile back, "It's no fun to waste a target. I need to work on my aim anyway, and you'll do fine."
"I like this you," Loki comments with a smile.
You turn and look at Loki, "Well, it's not going to be around for long, so enjoy it while it lasts."
"But you should really bring this Y/N out more often."
"I don't want to be like you all the time. It's special knowing I know the only Loki acting person in this universe."
"That's... sweet." Loki grins.
The agent suddenly weighs more and goes limp.
Loki looks at him, then back at you while pointing to the man, "I think he's dead."
"Nice observation, but how?"
"Probably a suicide pill. Must've been a Hydra agent." Steve answers from behind you.
You drop your magic, letting the dead body drop onto the ground.
"Are you okay?" Steve cautiously asks.
You sigh, "I'm fine."
You quickly leave the room, leaving Steve and Loki to take care of the agent.
Loki follows you into your room.
"Just leave me alone."
Loki walks over to you, "What's wrong? You can talk to me."
"I don't want to!" You snap.
Bucky and Wanda come in, seeing you upset while Loki is standing beside you.
"Stop upsetting her, Loki," Bucky commands.
Loki swallows, "She's not worth my time anyway."
"Then leave."
Loki hesitantly follows Bucky's orders, reluctantly walking out.
Wanda sits next to you on the bed, "We were headed this way, and Steve told us what happened... are you okay?"
"...Yeah... just shaken up by him dying, I guess."
"Okay then. If you want space, we'll leave you alone." Wanda smiles sweetly.
You smile back, "I think I need that. Thank you both so much."
They leave, and soon Loki comes back into your room.
"Hey... are you okay, Y/N?" Loki asks with a gentle voice.
You jump up from the bed, "What the hell is wrong with you?! You're sweet to me in private but a bastard when anyone else is around." You shout in anger.
Loki's speechless and quite taken aback for a moment, but he grabs your hands, "I'm sorry for everything... I don't want to show weakness, but I'm willing to... for you!"
"Caring for people isn't showing weakness, Loki!"
"Do you forgive me?"
You ignore him and walk out of your room, through the hallway, and into the common room. Loki catches up to you and grabs your arm, so you spin around. He stares at you for a minute.
"Do you?" He whispers.
"Give me time."
Loki's grip unconsciously tightens, "It's a yes or no question, Y/N."
You struggle, but you can't get out of his grip.
"You're hurting me! Let go!"
Bucky runs to your aid, "Loki, let go!"
-Loki's POV-
Why did I do this? Why did I hurt her?!... I-I don't want to lose her...
I rush away to my room. I loathe myself for hurting the woman I deeply care about...
I slam my door shut and use my telekinesis to throw objects around the room, smashing everything breakable. After my room is trashed, I walk over to my bed and sit on it.
After a while, my door opens, "Loki?" Y/N asks gently.
I'm confused. Why is she near me after I hurt her?
I look over at Y/N with regret, "Y/N, I'm so sorry." I swallow before continuing, "You should stay away from me... I'm too dangerous. I might hurt you again, and I don't ever want to hurt you."
I look away. Y/N sits on my bed next to me and begins to rub my back.
I look over at her with sadness in my eyes, "I don't want to lose my friend, and I don't want you to get hurt. But by holding on so tight, I was the one who hurt you. Literally."
"Loki, I forgive you."
I brighten up, "Really?"
"Of course. I know what it's like." Y/N admits.
"You do?"
"Yeah, I've done the same thing."
Y/N gets up and starts picking up shattered glass. I walk over to her, and she stands straight. I step a bit closer, enchanted by her eyes, wanting nothing more than to confess my feelings.
Y/N smiles nervously, "What?"
"...Nothing. Should we go back to the others?"
"Sure."