He stares at me with a stupid look. Somehow he looks confused. Like he didn't plan this. But I'm not going to go off and say he's innocent. He's very capable of something like this.
I shoot my eyes back to Mr Jane who remains lying unconscious in my lap. Sweat falls in small streams down both mine and Mr Jane's foreheads. I frantically pull out my phone, almost dropping it in the rush. I dial 999 as fast as my fingers can tap.
"999 what's-"
"H-hello! This is Noelle Benjamin calling from station 5 in Cardiff. Uhm, I'm here with Detective Inspector Jane and he's, he's unconscious! P-please hurry." I speak faster than the lady can finish her sentence. But I don't care. I'm sweating like a pig and my heart feels like it's gonna pop out of my chest.
"Okay ma'am, just stay calm, we've sent an ambulance. Just br-"
I end the call and toss my phone to the side. I run my fingers through Mr Jane's like four hairs while I chew my lip. In the corner of my eye I can see Harry standing like a child next to their parents' bed. He obviously doesn't know what to do. Why would he? He just messes everything up. Everywhere he goes.
He infects anything he touches.
I finally take my hands off of Mr Jane and thread them in my own curls. Grease wipes off on my nails as I remove my grip on my hair. I look a Harry at last, who is of course already staring at me blankly. I blink at him, with that same angry expression.
His lips unlatch for a moment, "Noelle. I swear I thought he was safe. I-"
I rush to interrupt him. "Get away from me."
He raises his eyebrows in surprise. He clears his throat, waiting for me to go on. Does he want me to explain? I did. And he didn't like it. Then we got into this mess.
"Get. Out." I don't even look at him. My eyes are back to Mr Jane.
"Noelle I said I didn't fucking plan-" I've interrupted him so many times now.
"I said get out Harry!" I scream at him. I actually shriek at him. "And don't come back!"
He watches the words fall out of my mouth so naturally. He clears his throat again just to fill the silence. We both watch each other in completely different emotions. I'm sitting, looking up at him with all kinds of fury, and he's standing tall a few feet away, looking extremely taken aback.
I didn't know what I said until I had said it. But I meant it. I meant every single word of it. What I told him in Mr Jane's office and right now. He deserves everything that's been said to him. I was stupid to think he was a good person. I should have just admitted it when he left me with those thugs at the club a week ago. I hate him. I fucking hate him. If Mr Jane doesn't wake up, Harry better count his blessings. Whoever even gave him those, I have no clue why. I won't cover up the fact Harry's not a good person any longer. I deserve better than guessing what personality he wants to choose today.
He steps back, almost tripping over his own feet. And just like that, he rotates and heads right for the door without looking back.
I let out a large sigh as Harry exits and police car sirens wail in the distance. God where have I gotten myself? What has my life become? I never would've even dreamed that this would soon be the state of my life. I don't know what to do anymore. Should I call Harlow? It is her father after all. But I don't want to get her worked up. Cause in the end, Mr Jane is gonna be fine. Right? Yes. Yes he will... I hope.
Once the paramedics and the police finally arrive, it feels like it's been years. It feels like it's been years that Mr Jane has been lying in my lap. It feels like years since Harry walked out the door. The paramedics bust through the door and quickly hoist Mr Jane upwards from my lap. My heart is gonna explode. I can't bare this sight of him. It reminds me of that night with my mom.
"Please, please is he going to be okay?" I practically topple the EMT as I ask for answers. I just need to know. One small assurance that I won't lose him like I did her.
"He'll be just fine. But right now, I want you to breathe. Can you breathe for me?" The man's voice echos in my ears.
The lights, the sound, the feeling, everything is just the same.
I follow what he says and inhale through my nose and exhale out my mouth. Of course through all of this, I'm constantly crying. It's more like me unknowingly crying, but it's still there.
"Good job Noelle. I'm so proud of you." His voice slowly starts to fade out into my mother's. The last time I heard that was a few days before she passed. The thought of it causes more tears to fall to my chin.
Everything feels the same. The exact same from that night. My vision is blurry, I can't breathe properly, and I'm shaking. It's like another form takes over you when all of this happens. You're physically there, but not mentally. You don't really know what's going on, but you can still acknowledge people. It feels like hours pass but all of this is just a matter of few minutes. I could collapse on this floor right here. The sweat dripping gradually down my temple causes my whole body to feel like it's on fire. My palms are practically wet from that.
It's like every time Harry is around, one thing or the other goes wrong. He's a curse. He's a curse to my already cursed life. Every time my eyes land on him, I just know that there's a chance I would live to see the end of the day. Just because of him. Because of everything he's done. Everything he does. Everything he causes. In my life. I want to seriously rip out my own hair in chunks when I see him. He makes me so miserable. He's a god damn murderer, who doesn't deserve anything or anyone.
The lights continue to blind my tear-filled eyes as more people gather around me. This time, news-reporters, other paramedics, and random people who I didn't bother to observe. Just like that night, my head feels heavy, my lungs carry no oxygen, and I feel like I have a fever of 150 degrees.
I push past the groups of people that continue to fill up space and suffocate me with their presence. Through all this, I can't find that one EMT who breathed with me and helped me. He was the only one to actually care about what happened to me. The others just threw a shock blanket on me, or smiled at me hurriedly and moved on. My steamed cheeks shift as I squeeze my eyes shut. When I open my eyes, my vision is worse. Literally everything is blurred. The unfocused police lights flash blue and red over and over. There are about five police cars randomly placed like that. All I can observe at the moment is that.
Blue.
Red.
Blue.
Red.
Over and over. My thoughts quickly shift back to Harry. How he ran off and he could just be waiting for me to be done with this so he can start his new stalk mission or something. Well, I actually let him go. I very much so let him go. I screamed at him to leave. But all I can think about, is what if next time he won't be so generous? Next time my life could be threatened seriously. The last times weren't that simple either. But now, I feel like this isn't something small now.
It's like Harry has gotten more and more insane every time we have met. From the day I got the skull, to now, when he's literally fucking stalking me, a lot has changed. In his behavior, in his tone, even the way he walks. I'm convinced what happened at the fish and chips cart wasn't just a few crazy dudes trying to shoot up someone. They were sent for someone. Most likely Harry. I know enough about Harry to guess that he's capable of getting himself in something that could lead into that. He's out of his mind. And I'm done giving him second chances. To be quite honest, I fell under his manipulation. I let him sleep in my house, drive me places, and hold me against me on my own counter. I guess I was blinded by a lot of shitty things, but now I know what I'm doing. I need to protect myself, and I will. In anyway possible. Because if my mom didn't commit, and she was murdered like I think she was, that person, or people for all I know, is coming after me too. I won't become a toy to Harry or anyone else.
A voice breaks me out of thought. The EMT. "Miss Benjamin?"
I softly hum to let him know I'm listening. My head turns to his figure. He has striking black hair, a blue t-shirt that hugs his body tightly, blue glowing eyes, and a black jacket that sits above his t-shirt. I just realized that it's pouring outside.
"Detective Inspector Jane is going to be just fine. He was just knocked unconscious by God knows who. The police will try and figure that out now. He's estimated to wake up in the next four hours or so. Earliest you can see him is tomorrow morning." He raises his voice throughout his words so he's more audible over the rain.
"Okay." I shiver as I speak.
His face softens as he notices how serious he was compared to my quiet response. He offers me a glass of water. "Here. Would you like me to drop you off home?"
I hesitate, not sure if I should take his offer. I can't trust anyone so easily. That's what has weakened me over time. But he smiles so gently and caring, it would be stupid of me to drive myself home. Plus, I shouldn't be taking risks like going home alone now.
"Yes. Please."
I drink the water he handed me as he grins and carefully places his hand on my back as he leads me to his car. Through our walk, he keeps an umbrella I didn't even notice he had over my head. The umbrella is so tiny, it can only fit one of us under it. He's apparently kind enough to let me not get drenched. Once we reach his car, he opens the door for me and closes the umbrella as I fully seat myself.
He doesn't bother to open the umbrella for himself as he walks around the car to get in the driver's seat. His once fluffy black hair is now completely soaked. He sits and smiles at me before turning the ignition on.
About two minutes in, he speaks, "I'm Alex."
"Thanks for the ride Alex." I smile delicately and look into his eyes. He gives a smile back.
My happy thoughts immediately fade when I realize that he knows where I live. I don't know him. I met him like ten minutes ago. How does he know?
"S-stop the car." I choke out.
He turns his head over to me, "Why?"
"I said stop the car!" I shriek and he immediately cranks the breaks to bring the car to an abrupt halt.
A few cars honk behind us, but I don't care enough to pay attention to that. I palm my chest and gulp. He takes one deep breath and looks at me with a calm tone.
"What happened?"
"H-how do you know where I-I live?" I'm still speaking out of breath. We were going about 30mph and we quickly jumped to 0mph, so that left a bit of an impact on my breathing pattern. I finally meet his gaze and wait for him to answer my question.
"I was one of the EMTs when your mother died. I was there at your house that night." His voice is hopping between calm and irritated.
As soon as his words hit my ear, I let out a big sigh and mumble under my breath, indicating that he can continue driving. Luckily we're on an empty road at 6PM, so our sudden stop didn't bother too many people.
Alex doesn't seem annoyed with me surprisingly. I think he's more worried about getting me home in one piece more than anything. He's a sweet person. And now that I think about it, I do remember him carrying my mother out on a stretcher into the ambulance that night. That's why his face was so familiar today.
Anything is better than being in a 50-foot radius of Harry. He makes me physically sick. I can't even describe what a terrible human being he is.
I drift into loose thoughts about him and slowly close my eyes. I've grown so tired over these few hours running back and forth across the city to the police department, to the printer, then over to the police. It has drained me.
My eyelids fall closed, and suddenly I'm in deep sleep.
----
tw//sexual assault
I flutter my eyes slowly, my eyes blinking a few times before fully opening. I'm in my room. How'd I get here?
I use my dry fingertips to rub the corner of my eye. I can see a little better now. My heart jumps when I see a tall figure sitting at the edge of my bed.
The first person that comes to mind is obviously Harry, but then I adjust my vision to look a little clearer. It's not Harry. The figure is too scrawny to be Harry. And the hair is definitely different. I just realize that I'm in the dark. I don't even know how long it's been since I fell asleep.
"You're awake." A familiar male voice utters.
No way this is Harry. The voice is too high-pitched and sweet. I've heard this voice before definitely. Oh right.
"Alex?" I say softly while I turn on my side to turn the bedside lamp on.
Now I wish I hadn't.
His shirt is off, and he's slowly unzipping his pants. And then I look down at myself as notice my jacket has been taken off and my shorts have been slid down a bit.
"W-what are you doing?"
"Pretty girl, don't you know not to trust people so easily by now?"
I'm in shock. I didn't expect Alex to do something like this. He's a god damn EMT. He's supposed to save people. Help people. Like he helped me. Not do whatever this is. He was the one helping me breathe and calm down while Mr Jane was being attended to.
I gasp quietly, trying to get my hands off of my stomach. But in that moment I realize my hands and legs are tightly wrapped in super stick duct tape. I look back into his devilish eyes and open my mouth to say something, but I can't force anything out.
I can't fucking believe this. I'm about to get raped. And it's entirely my fault.
"You're safe with me. It'll all be over soon." He practically laughs as he says that. Like this is a joke. That this is for the enjoyment of us both.
The worst part is that his words were so false. This is not going to be over soon. The next hour or so of my life is going to be absolute torture. I just want someone to come bursting through that door. My mom, George, Harlow, anyone. Literally anyone. I just can't bare the thought that only my second time is going to be wasted like this. I would have it any other way. Just not like this.
He inches closer to me. From the edge of the bed, he's gotten as far as my stomach. He gives me the most disgusting look. I want to puke at the sight of this. What position he's got me in. He forces himself forward as mushes our lips together. The only difference is, that he's the only one putting in any effort. My lips stay still, almost attempting to hide inside my mouth until he stops.
I can't help the small tears forming in my eyes. I hate this I hate this I hate this. If my hands were free, the speed I would have to slap this ass wipe across the face is astronomical.
Through the involuntary kisses, I manage to mumble, "Please, please stop! You're an EMT! You help people! You're not like this!"
I shuffle in my uncomfortable position as his lips attach to my neck, leaving messy kisses all over it. My eyes squeeze closed as he travels up my throat. I'm struggling so much in my placement, that his hand flies to hold my throat still while he continues torturing me.
He stops for one second to speak. "Oh pretty girl, we haven't even gotten to the fun part yet."
And with that, his hand slides down my shorts. I let out the most god awful shriek, the whole town probably heard me.
"No! No! No! Please!" I continue to beg, hoping any cry will convince him to stop. He laughs into my neck while my legs struggle underneath him.
My eyes fly open to the sound of my front door slamming closed. Someone else is in here. My first thought is that it's someone who will catch him like this and then they'll save me. But then I think that if Alex is capable of this, he plenty capable of calling his friend over or some fucking messed up shit.
I scream again, hoping someone will come and save me. I just can't stay here like this anymore. I'm running out of breath, and time. In another few minutes, he's probably going to actually start what he brought be here for.
But my prayers are immediately answered once a pair of muscly hands grab Alex's shoulders and launch him backwards onto the floor. Long brown curls help me recognize exactly who it is.
I never thought I would be so happy to see Harry. Especially on a day like this. Where he's already fucked something up.
With Alex still on the floor, Harry takes this opportunity to slam his foot down on Alex's nose. I hear a loud crunch, assuming those are his puny bones. Tears are still falling down my cheeks involuntarily as Harry picks him up off the ground by his collar and smashes his skull sharply into my bedroom wall. A lot of my shelves fall off my wall in the process, but I don't care. I want that asshole to pay for what he did.
It's like people just keep popping up. Zayn rushes through the door to find us. Alex is now bleeding heavily from the back of his head and the bridge of his nose has completely collapsed. And Harry's hand is bruised. I'm in such a weird position I don't know what'll happen.
Harry passes Alex's unconscious body to Zayn, who drags him across my living room and to the front door.
As soon as the trade off happens, Harry bolts over to me. He doesn't say anything. He quickly brings my restrained hands to his mouth, which first scares me a bit, thinking he's going to bite me. But his teeth grasp the tape, and rip it in half, setting my hands free. I sigh as his teeth go to do the same thing to my feet.
I don't even realize it before I do it, I just throw my arms around his neck and lose myself in his hold. It's not that I particularly want to hug him, it's just after what happened, I just need comfort. Even if it's over, water keeps my face damp.
"You're fucking crazy." He laughs lightly into my neck. I fasten my grip around his neck.
"I'm not the one who stalked someone. Oh and almost killed a father figure." I joke softly.
We both barely chuckle, while holding each other in the middle of my bed. Everything else remains constant. The shattered shelves on the floor, the bruises on his knuckles, my soft crying, the heavy rain outside.
"I hate you so much, you know that right? If I had the chance to kill you, I would absolutely take it. " My voice is low, the only other sounds in the room is our breathing.
"You think I don't absolutely despise you? I can't stand your presence. But I've kept you now. No asshole can touch you like that ever again. I'll kill every single of them if I have to. Because you love, are worth saving."
"Every. God damn. Time."