Lena Boggs
The sound of birds chirping and the morning sun is what I woke up to this morning, groaning I rolled over and swing my arm out to feel for JJ.
"JJ, you felt the window opened last night," I whine, but much to my surprise, I don't feel him in bed next to me.
I frown as I sat up, looking towards my bathroom door wondering if he had just gotten up to use the bathroom... The bathroom light was off and the door was wide open, "JJ?" I quietly call out in hopes that he'd answer. My heart broke realizing what had happened, JJ left this morning without waking me up.
He has never done that before, in all the months he has been spending at my house. He always woke me up in some kind of way, whether it was throwing a pillow at my face or tickling my side, he never left without saying goodbye. I thought that maybe after the other morning, when he woke me up with kisses that things were beginning to turn out the way I had always hoped- But here I lay, naked and alone.
Despite the ache in my chest, I pushed myself out of bed and grabbed a bikini from my dresser and an oversized sweater to pull over top. I knew JJ didn't work today, it was Friday and JJ always took Friday to Sunday off so I could only assume the only place he would be right now it the chateau.
As I pulled a hairbrush through my hair, I jump at a sudden loud noise coming from downstairs. I rush to my door, swinging it opened and but as I go to shout if my parents are okay- The yelling I heard left me speechless.
"How could you be so heartless, Logan!" My mother screams, and I feel like the air has been knocked out of my lungs. My hand tightens around the door, I have never heard my mom scream that way at my father before.
"Can you please just get off my case, Coreena? I am not in the fucking mood." My dad's voice comes out so cold and loud. "No, fuck that and fuck you. Get the fuck out of my house!" My throat ran dry at her demand, my parents have never been one to fight. It was just so unlike them.
"Who do you think you are? I pay the fucking bills around here, have you forgotten that?" I flinch when the sound of glass breaking fills our home. "Lena is upstairs. So I suggest you settle down before she fucking comes down here. Clean this shit up, Coreena." My father sneers, and just as I hear footsteps making their way up the stairs, I quietly but quickly shut the door before whoever it was made it to the top.
I threw the covers over top of my body and turned on my side, facing away from the door just as it began to open. "Lena baby?" My father says, his voice gently. I clench my jaw before pretending to yawn as if I had just woken up, "Yeah dad? What's up?" I sit up.
My father smiles lightly at me, "I'm going to work. I love you bug, I'll see you later tonight." I stare at him for a second, my parents have never come into my room before heading to work in the morning- I knew he was only checking to see if I heard the commotion downstairs.
"Oh, okay... Is everything alright?" My dad jumps at the sound of the front door slamming closed before giving me a half-assed reassuring smile that I could see right through. "Yeah bug, everything's fine. I'll see you later." With that, he left.
It took only a few moments before I heard the front door open and then close again, leaving me wondering what they could have been fighting about.
As I make my way through my house, I notice one of our family picture frames had been thrown off the wall and onto the kitchen floor. I gulp as I step over it, making my way to the front door.
I sighed as I left my house, my only thought was talking to JJ about what happened after he left this morning- And find out why he didn't wake me up.
When I got to the chateau, I found JJ carrying a cooler towards the dock. I begin to sprint towards him, "JJ! Hold up!"
JJ turns as he sees me running towards him, "Oh, hey Lee." He smiles at me, looking over his shoulder again. "Hey..." I pant as I stop in front of him, catching my breath. "You left without telling me this morning," I stated, placing my hands on my hips as I lean over, still trying to catch my breath.
"Holy shit I am out of shape." I chuckle to myself. "Oh, yeah... You just uh, looked like you were exhausted so I didn't want to wake you." JJ tells me, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, looking over his shoulder quickly again.
"Oh okay, hey look I need to talk to you about something, it's kind of important." I said as I stand straight, noticing how uneasy he looked for some reason. "Right now?" He asks, and I raise my eyebrows at his response. "I mean... Yeah? If you're not busy..."
JJ inhales before letting out a sigh, "Can it wait a bit? I'm about to go somewhere."
I press my lips into a thin line at his rejection, feeling hurt. "Oh, uh sur-" Before I can finish, I stop myself at someone calling for JJ.
"JJ come on! The beers are getting warm!" Kiara laughs, I felt my whole body tense as JJ looks over his shoulder and smiles brightly at her. "Yeah, I'm coming!"
"Oh, hey Lena!" Kiara waves at me as JJ turns back to me. "H-Hey Kie!" I wave back at her, my voice shaking as realization hit me that JJ was blowing off hearing what I needed to tell him to spend alone time with Kiara. "I'll see you later, okay?" JJ slaps my arm in a friendly way before taking off towards John B's boat, leaving me speechless.
I stand there watching as the two take off, Kiara standing beside JJ laughing at whatever he said while he drove the boat, feeling my heart crack as my shoulders fall in defeat.
JJ has never done that before... If I needed him, he was always there. It didn't matter what he was doing, or who he was with, he would drop everything to help me.
"Lena?" I blink away the tears threatening to spill as Sarah's voice comes from behind me. I turn to face her, pushing a smile onto my face. "Hey." I greet her, she scans my face as she stops in front of me.
"You okay?" Just like that, my tears began to run down my cheeks as everything hit me all at once. My parents fighting, and the feeling I kept trying to push away about Kiara and JJ.
Sarah doesn't hesitate to throw her arms around me, "What's wrong, Lena?"
I sob into her shoulder as I wrap my arms around her waist, her hand rubbing my back in a comforting way. "It's okay, it's okay."
But it wasn't, because at this moment it felt like everything I thought I knew, everything I loved most in this world, was all about to crash and burn and there isn't a goddamn thing I could do to stop it.
"What do you think they were fighting about?" Sarah asks as we walk alongside each other at the beach, our sandals in our hands and the water covering our bare feet every few seconds that I waved washed up on the shore.
I shrug. "I don't know... But I have never heard them fight like that before." I admitted, looking out towards the sea.
"Maybe it was just a fight, Rose and Ward fight all the time but it never means anything." Sarah tries to make me feel better, I suck in a deep breath. "It just doesn't feel like it was nothing, you know?" I look over at her.
"My mom sounded so... So hurt, and my dad didn't even sound like he cared that she was." Sarah flashes me a look of pity as I tell her this, making me shake my head. "I mean, what do I know? I suck at relationships so maybe I'm just overthinking it." I try to play it off with a forced laugh.
Sarah nudges me. "I mean... That new family that moved in near my house has a son our age," She wiggles her eyebrows at me. "Maybe I could introduce you?" I laugh at her off, "I appreciate it, really I do... But I'm not interested." I decline.
Sarah groans. "Come on, Lena! In the year I have been dating John B I have not seen you with any guy! You gotta put yourself out there!"
I stare at her with a sad smile, if only she knew how many times I have put myself out there for the last year.
"I'll think about it, okay?" I lied, knowing damn well the only person I wanted was a certain blue-eyed boy. Sarah pushes me, "You freakin' better!"
The rest of the day I spent with Sarah, we swam in the ocean for a bit before she insisted we go shopping and then even took me out to dinner which she demanded she pays for. Honestly, she kept my mind off of everything for a while and it felt nice to not obsess over where I stood with JJ.
When I got home I avoided my parents, only sharing a few words but what did not go unnoticed was the tension between them and the fact that they didn't even look at each other.
I let out a sigh as I stood in front of my window, staring down at the lock wondering if I should lock it. JJ had blown me off twice now for Kiara, and maybe it was me being sensitive but it hurt me more than I like to admit. I reach forward, my fingertips glazing over the lock...
My lip quivers as I drop my hand back to my side, I couldn't. It doesn't matter how badly he hurt me because my heart forgives him even though my brain was screaming at me for allowing him to do it without consequence. At the end of the day, JJ and I said that this was only sex and nothing more.
Just like always, JJ climbs through my window. Smiling at me sitting on the end of my bed as he closes it behind him, "Hey Lee B."
I lick my lips before faking a smile. "Hey J."
JJ sits beside me, leaning his head on my shoulder and I inhale his scent. The scent that always seemed to calm every nerve in my body, immediately feeling a sense of safety with him beside me.
He turns his head to place soft kisses on my bare shoulder, I hum as I lean my head to the side allowing him to kiss up my neck. His arm hooks under my thigh, pulling me so I was straddling his lap. His eyes blue eyes bore into mine, his hands grabbing each of my cheeks before locking our lips in a gentle embrace.
My arms wrap around his neck as I slowly grind my hips down on his, a low groan falling from his throat. "Wait, wait," JJ whispers against my lips and stops me, his hands running down my sides and landing on my hips.
I stop my movements, pulling back and staring down at him. "What?" I say breathlessly, JJ leans his forehead against mine.
"What did you need to talk to me about?" I felt my stomach flutter, he remembers and he cared. I stare down at him, my eyes flickering back and forth between his eyes. "Is everything okay?" His voice was so soft and gentle, I was putty in his hands.
He wanted to know, he reminded me that I needed to tell him something and he stopped any sexual acts just to make sure I'm okay... But for the first time in all my years of friendship with JJ, I did not want to confide in him anymore. Maybe it was the way he blew me off earlier, or maybe it was because the moment had passed and I just wanted to feel close to him.
"It's nothing, J," I murmur as I place my lips on his cheek, kissing it gently. "Lee B?" JJ mutters into my hair, his face in the crook of my neck. I hum in reply, moving my lips slowly again.
"You know you're my best friend right? I'll always be here for you." Although the words should have brought me comfort, I couldn't help the pain I felt. Best friend.
"I know, JJ." I sigh before pushing him onto his back, pressing my lips against his again.
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xoxo
A