Summery - Remus and Reader had an unofficial relationship while in their 7th year at Hogwarts. When they leave school they fall out of contact though still love one another.
Warning - Angst.
Word count - 1,985
Reading time - 7 mins 13 seconds
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Long handwritten note
Deep in your pocket
Words, how little they mean
When you're a little too late
Before leaving school Remus and Y/n had been inseparable. They knew everything about each other and though it had started off as a long term friendship they had transitioned easily into a far more romantic relationship in their final year at school.
Though they had never titled what they were to one another it was clear to everyone that they only had eyes for each other, that they were not single.
Remus had planned to marry the girl, he had said so when they were children playing families in her back garden though he hadn't understood it then. However he did now and he stood by it, he would marry her.
So he wrote her a letter. It was short and simple and he planned on giving it to her at the one-year reunion Lily was having in her Garden to catch up with everyone they had been friends with at school. It was a time to forget about the ongoing war if only for a while.
But she never showed up. Remus put it down to her being busy. She worked in the ministry and with dark forces trying to corrupt them constantly she had been far more busy than usual. However the next day the group had gotten a letter from her, everyone was the same.
She had gone into hiding as the ministry has been overthrown and she was now wanted. She never told them where she was going just that she would be out of the country until the war ended if it ever did.
Remus knew he was too late. They weren't winning the war, not even close. And there was no end in sight either. As far as anyone could tell this was to be their lives for years to come, and now he had to do it without her.
He reached into his pocket and picked up the piece of paper deep inside, folding it and putting it into his sock drawer alongside the new letter he had just received from her, deciding the ignore her side of the drawer that was now empty. For he didn't want the constant reminded that no matter how important ones words are they are reduced to nothing if they are said too late.
I stood right by the tracks
Your face in a locket
As she prepared to leave the country, a small bag in her hand as she looked across the road at her now old cottage she did all she could to hold back her tears. Her life had been falling perfectly into place and now she had to leave it all for goodness knows how long. There was no saying she would ever be able to come back and live a normal life. They were living in unprecedented times and no one knew the possible outcome.
She had written a letter and copied it to each of her friends. she wanted to say more, to each of them (though especially Remus), however, she knew she couldn't. If the letters were found or someone betrayed them she couldn't risk that she had said too much and given away her placement.
That was the same reason why she never planned on writing to her friends again, at least not until she could return home.
She grasped the locket firmly in her hand as she finally apparated to her new location. When she felt her feet hit the hard ground she looked up and found herself exactly where she had planned. A small muggle train station in the French countryside.
Opening the locket she finally let the tear fall as she looked down at the picture of her true love. He looked beautiful as always and happier than usual. She knew that though this was likely the end of their relationship he would always be the ones for her. she loved him more than she could quite comprehend however for the foreseeable future his face in the locket over her heart was the closest she could be to him, and that would have to do.
In dreams
I meet you in warm conversation
It had been a year since she had left England and things had only gotten worse. In the beginning, there was a sense of denial that was widely felt, and though denial is never safe nor helpful it let people forget. but now over two years into the war nobody could deny the horrors that plagued the European Wizarding world, not when they consumed every aspect of your life.
The only time you were free of the horrific war was when you slept, Y/n having no job nor friends slept often. when she wasn't gardening or cooking she would sleep. During these long hours of lull, she would be transported back to the brighter days, the happier times. Days spent exploring the grounds of her high school with her friends, her first party after Ravenclaw won a quidditch game, long summer days spent in the fields behind her house with Lily and Marlene. But most regularly she would find herself in the cottage she once shared with Remus.
They had only lived together a few months when she left, but it was the best few months of her life. Sometimes she regretted leaving him behind as she knew had she asked him to join her he wouldn't have hesitated for a second.
In her dreams she would find herself wrapped in his arms in front of the fire on winter evenings, reading the book that he held in his hand. When she would wake it would take her a few moments to realise it wasn't real anymore, and that though these dreams were once her life they no longer are. For now, she's alone in the world and only feels love in her sleep.
We both wake
In lonely beds
In different cities
Mornings had quickly become both Y/n and Remus' least favourite part of the day. Remus had once enjoyed mornings the most in the day. The crisp air and the silence always comforted him. aBut now all he was met with was disappointment and melancholy as he realises that he is alone and that his dreams aren't the truth.
Y/n had gotten used to the disappointment as the years went on. They had both started to see other people as they accepted that maybe they simply weren't meant to be. But no matter how many people Y/n let into her bed it remained as lonely as it was when it was empty.
Remus was no different and had reverted to staying at different women homes instead of his own, unable to bear sleeping alone in their once shared bed every night any longer.
And you've got your demons
And darlin' they all look like me
At long last the war ended. 5 years since they had seen each other last Y/n and Remus were reunited once more. They had both dreamt of the moment for as long as they had been separated though it seemed the reality didn't quite live up to their expectations.
They had moved back into to the same cottage and while the first few months went smoothly the cracks in their relationship began to show.
They had both been damaged beyond comprehension by the war. They weren't the same people they had been 5 years ago never mind when they had first fallen in love. On top of that Remus simply couldn't trust her anymore.
The thought alone that she could leave him so easily when he struggled so much to live without her sent him into a line of thought that she really didn't care for him as he did her. Though he was incorrect she couldn't seem to persuade him that she was being honest and that she loved him. He simply couldn't trust her.
She realised within the first year that the war wasn't all that had changed him but she had to. Leaving him the way she did, the way that everyone seemed to leave him had left scars that were far deeper than those that blessed his skin.
Distance, timing
Breakdown, fighting
Silence, the train runs off its tracks
Kiss me, try to fix it
Could you just try to listen?
Hang up, give up
"Why won't you just listen to me" She begged him as tears ran down her face.
"I am listening, I am. But I don't know what you want me to do" he responded with a raised voice.
"I want you to try. You gave up before I even came home. You never wanted this to work" she yelled, her voice breaking as she left the living room and made her way to the kitchen, wanting to be away from him but he had followed her.
"I didn't try! You can't be serious. You left me remember. If you had just talked to me before you left we would be fine" he yelled back even louder.
"I had to leave. I couldn't tell anyone where I was Remus and you know that. You can't blame this all on me"
"No you're right I can't blame this all on you, but I do blame a large amount of it on you and you alone. You handled the situation terribly and left me to handle everything alone. We could have done it together. A simple explanation, even one more line in your letter would have saved so much but you couldn't have cared less" He ranted, however, she didn't hear the last of his sentence as she had left. she walked out of the house and appeated to Marlene's house. She was simply too tired, too exhausted to carry on. She had given up.
For the life of us we can't get back A beautiful magic love affair
For the second time in their relationship she had moved out, she had turned home a week later when she knew Remus would be at work and she packed her bags, throwing everything she could find that belonged to her into boxes and Marlene helping her move them to her flat.
Marlene shared a flat with Alice and the pair had agreed to let her stay at their flat until she found her own place. Sleeping on their couch was a far better option than staying with Remus anymore, not when their home had grown so tense.
She left a note on the kitchen counter, much like the one she had left him all those years ago, though this time she explained. She explained that she loved him and that she was sure in another life they would be together, for they would have been good together had the world not decided otherwise. Had they entered the adult world under better circumstances she was sure they would have lasted and lived happily ever after and she let him know this.
Their love had been beautiful, it had bloomed bright and strong. However too much had happened and no matter what they did to try and fix things between them it was to no avail. They couldn't return to what they were it was simply impossible.
What a sad
Beautiful tragic love affair
And like all good stories, there's came to an end. It started as young love and developed. However, the world had been cruel to them and all they had left was a tragedy.
It was with the bittersweet realisation she accepted that going their separate ways was the purest, most sincere way they could show their love for one another. For though they loved each other without a doubt, their story was not a love story but rather a story of two broken people who just so happened to experience love.