Noctivagant (verb); to wander at night
Day twenty eight.
【 ϟ 】
Amora
March 12th 1998
Stick and poke tattoos were something Amora couldn't quite wrap her head around. She'd been a very sheltered child especially to the muggle world, apparently Ginny hadn't. Ginny had been told about them by a muggle-born hufflepuff years ago, and now here they were. They found the ink with the needle in a small box located in the attic. They only really went snooping when they were bored, and forty minutes ago was not and exception. It wasn't very light in the attic nor was the floor the most comfortable place to sit, but terror and boredom got the best of them sometimes. Ginny had offered to do hers first to show her how to do it though now Amora wasn't sure Ginny knew all to well either.
She carefully poked Amoras shoulder with the ink, re-dipping the needle in the bottle every three pokes or so. She'd decided on a butterfly on a rose, she didn't have a reason in particular. Of course, roses were her favorite flower. They reminded her of the cliché romance films her aunt always played for them while they ate. She'd never given much thought to the prince, he never played a significant role in the films. It was always the brave princess, or perhaps a damsel in distress, it was only at the end when they're prince charming would show.
"Is it rude to still be mad at Harry?"
Amora looked up from her poked arm.
"No, why?"
"It's just, I know why he left, I'm not stupid its just- why did he have to worry so much about me? I survived him," her voice contorted with disgust "when I was eleven. He could've taken me with him."
Amora shrugged at her. They'd been talking a lot about Harry, but they hadn't talked about what happened to her in months.
"He could've."
Ginnys eyes brows knitted together in concentration. She dipped the needle in the ink and took a breath, before allowing herself to relax. She changed the subject.
"What do you plan on doing after the war?"
She'd been thinking a lot about that. Truth is she never really thought of it before a few months ago. Her entire life revolves around the war, it was such a strange feeling to think that there was going to be a time that she wouldn't have to be in the middle of it. Her first consideration was the obvious, move to some rural area with Ginny and become an auror. It was only when she thought more about it that she realized she genuinely had better options.
"I think I'd like to be a professor, dada, potions maybe. I could probably replace that greasy old rag."
Ginny chuckled and shook her head.
"That's a nice idea, but do you seriously have no other plans? Where are our us and our blue haired wizard child going to live?"
She proposed hypothetically. Amora mirrored Ginnys previous action and shook her head whilst laughing. She liked the idea of adopting a blue haired wizard child, even if it was an impulse hypothetical.
"Hm, a loft above a record shop maybe? We could listen to 'queen' whenever we wanted."
"Professor, and a record shop owner? Who's going to take care of our wizard child?"
Amora watched the needle poke her wrist for a moment.
"When it's older it can work there too, and we'll hire employees. I think Blaise would like to work there."
"Blaise? Your going to have a ex-death eater work at a shop under the house where our child sleeps? Merlin 'Mora you might get little blue haired Jimmy taken away from us."
Ginny ranted with mock offense.
"Blaise isn't a blood supremacist, in his case he was quite literally held down and forced to take the mark. And no, we will not be naming our child Jimmy."
The former gryffindor gasped as if she'd just asked her if she was a giant.
"You're really not proving a point of you being a good mom."
"What's the supposed to mean?!"
Amora gasped. Ginny shook her head solemnly.
"All I'm saying is that I don't think you're putting enough effort into Jimmy's well-being as I am, I mean what if he gets bullied because his parents were never around to teach him how to preform a shoe tying charm?"
She poked her again.
"If anybody bullies Jimmy I'll just kill them, and we can get him velcro shoes Ginny."
Ginny burst into a fit of laugher, once she calmed down she dipped the needle in the ink and shook her head.
"You'll kill Jimmy's seven year old bullies?"
"B- okay to be fair I assumed you meant older bullies."
"Still not helping your case."
Ginny ended, poking Amora one final time before setting the needle down. It was beautiful. Ginny was always an artist, she'd covered their room in drawings of all kinds of emotions. It was stunning, she didn't draw butterflies the same way everyone else did. Most people started with the torso, Ginny started with the wings. That nagging part of her brain wished there was another meaning to that, but there wasn't, and the simple part of herself enjoyed that. The rose was perfect, but of course it was.
"I- thank you."
She stumbled, trying to sound genuine. She'd always had a problem with that. Flawless liar, not to flawless at the truth.
"It's perfect."
"I know," she responded grinning. "my turn." Her smile grew brighter, she laid on the wooden floor and pulled up her shirt. Ginny had wanted hers on her stomach. Amora drew a sketch on her skin of the design Ginny had chosen, a broomstick, of course. A broomstick with a rose vine twisted around it.
That was such a Ginny thing to pick.
【 ϟ 】
Ginny
Amora began poking her skin with the thin needle. It didn't hurt, not that she'd expected it to anyway. It stung a bit but it was child's play compared to quidditch casualties. She laid her head back and stared at the ceiling letting the music drown out the gusts of wind hitting the tiny window. She'd forgotten they were even playing music if she was being entirely honest.
She focused on the feeling of Amoras hand on her stomach for a while. She felt the slight crimson paint her face with every brush. In her peripherals she could see Amoras face, concentrated. She remembered watching that face in class everyday. It was insane how fast the time flew. All she really remembered from those hazy days were the excitement to see Amora at night.
It felt so, for lack of a better term, odd.
She'd never liked a girl before, she'd be lying if she said she'd never thought about it prior but she was never consciously aware of her attraction to them. If she was being honest she didn't even know being gay was an option. When she had started to realize she liked Amora, her first reaction was 'but I'm not gay'. From then on, as she found herself, it disgusted her. Not the fact that she liked girls, but the fact that she used to think of it as an awful thing.
Bill liked men, of course she knew that. But it was never an option for her. She often found herself wishing she could go back and tell herself a few months ago how lovely it's been. Boys had always been complicated, you never knew which ones were truthful, or what they were hiding until they had their tongue down your throat.
The realization hit her like the sun peaking through clouds.
This was a beautiful thing.
She would talk to Amora for hours, even when she'd only known her for a few weeks. She was so kind, even when they fought it was never quite the same as dating a man. It felt like living on the moon, she felt lightheaded and free at the same time. It was such exhilarating, exciting, and lovely feeling.
It felt like quidditch in the stars.
Her only regret would forever be that she didn't learn to trust her sooner. That they'd met in a twisted fairytale they both knew would never give them their happy ending. They spent so long crying, hunched over books spending hours on long arguments because they were both upset and hurting.
They were both victims of a war.
"What are you thinking about?"
Amora looked to her.
"Everything, almost."
"Homicide?"
"Yes."
They stayed silent trying not to laugh before failing miserably. Her head began to hurt from laying it on the wood for so long.
"Okay, actually, what are you thinking?"
Ginny thought about that question for a moment.
"You know, I used to think about being gay, or bisexual as the muggles call it as a bad thing. Before I even knew I was gay I would force myself to deny it."
Amora shook her head gently, barely glancing up.
"There's a word for that, internalized homophobia. I had it too, pretty bad. Hannah and I would have to run off to abandoned classrooms just to talk about being lesbians," Amora gave a sad laugh. "It left a mark on both of us."
"It's different though, when I realized I liked you, I accepted it. It was almost inevitable. It took a while, but it felt to soon."
Amora focused on the tattoo for a moment, the soft sounds of Ginny finally caving into queen playing in the background.
"I don't think there's a right way to get over internalized homophobia. It's a healing process, I imagine like with any other wound it's different for everyone."
"Where did you learn that? I just mean- how are you so- okay with it?"
A faint smile taunted by a ghost of the past played at Amoras lips.
"Hannah. She had some... radical muggle friends."
"Hannah Abbott?"
Amora broke into a smile now, she felt herself begin to smile at the sight of it.
"Shocking isn't it?"
She'd never actually known Hannah Abbott, not really. She'd seen her around and probably had a conversation at some point but she wouldn't consider her a friend. She always thought about Luna when the word friend crossed her mind. She wondered what Luna was doing. On Lunas birthday she'd made cupcakes with Amora, hoping by some magical force maybe, just maybe Luna could feel it. She hoped they didn't torture her, in a way she'd hoped they just held her. Luna could get through that.
"I guess so."
Amoras smile turned concerned. She poked Ginny with her fingertip this time on the side.
"Is everything alright?"
"Yeah it's just, Luna."
She nodded. She paused, Ginny could tell she was holding something back.
"About that... I think I'm getting closer. I won't say anything until I'm sure... but, it'll happen soon."
Amora finished her tattoo before she could say anything. She had a terrible feeling, and even years later, she would regret ignoring it.
【 ϟ 】
Amora
She showed Ginny the tattoo, they stood in front of a dusty golden rimmed mirror. Ginny turned to her.
"Its wicked!"
Her eyes sparked, she spun around and admired it again.
In the background Amora started to wander around the attic. She'd been here infinite times but there was still countless boxes she hadn't went through. Initially she'd been worried about invading privacy, but Tonks and Remus had both assured her they didn't care about the boxes in the attic.
She wandered, eventually Ginny joined her. The sang along way to loudly to bohemian rhapsody as they searched. They weren't looking for anything in particular. Though they came across a box filled with Polaroid photographs. They shuffled through them, most showed Remus, James, Sirius and Peter. But then she came across a particular photo, she waved Ginny over.
The photograph showed two woman, one with curly blonde hair and icy blue eyes with an arm on another girls shoulder. The other girl had midnight skin, full lips and eyes like pools of honey. They looked to be at some kind of party, in what Amora assumed to be the gryffindor common room. They leant into each others touch. There was another girl in the background, she looked to be talking to somebody behind the blonde. From what Amora could see, she had dark curly hair and a tight purple dress on.
"This is-"
Amora started.
"Dorcas meadows and Marlene Mckinnion."
Ginny continued. She pointed to the girl in the background.
"That must be Mary McDonald. I don't know much about her but I saw her photo in the order one."
Amora looked at her.
"She's alive, isn't she?"