So where I live is already August 13th and I joined July 13. A little anniversary is still an anniversary right?
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A human being needs the one
To share the bitter taste of coffee,
To wait until the night is gone,
To ask the questions fretting over.
Marina Boykova
I found myself standing in front of a big house. It was around 2 am, I couldn't know for sure because my phone died.
The street was dark, which was kinda weird because it wasn't a bad neighborhood, I saw only one streetlight 30 feet away from me. But due to that fact, I was able to see stars in the night sky. And it was so freaking amazing.
I was walking back and forth trying to warm myself up. I crossed my arms and started to rub them with my palms. I was still wearing the hoodie and pajama pants. I hope I won't catch a cold. My heartbeat was quickened but I didn't care. I was doing the right thing. But after some time I started to lose hope. My eyes were getting lower and lower with every second. I wasn't looking at the sky anymore. The thought of going back home ran through my mind and I glanced at the house again. Hell no, I'm staying. I can't leave now. I may be a little drunk but that even batter. I wouldn't be that bold if I was sober.
A little over an hour ago
Y/N: Are you sleeping? Can we talk?
I was waiting for a reply not sure if I would get one now. My hands were shaking so I looked under my bed and found a box with a bottle of whiskey in it. Still here, cool. I made a sip and felt how my body started to relax. That's better. Suddenly my phone buzzed. New message.
Torres: What's up, monkey?
Y/N: Do you know where Amelia lives?
As soon as I got the address I put on my sneakers and ran downstairs trying to be quiet so parents wouldn't wake up. If you ask me was I tipsy, I'd say yes.
The important thing for future me to remember is to never drink on an empty stomach.
I could take a cab but there was so much energy in me. Probably, adrenalin cause I was so damned scared. So I ran. The cold air was burning my lungs and the world was so peaceful. There was just me and a moon following my path. Only my steps were breaking the silence of the night.
I just need some time, I'm tryna think straight
I just need a moment in my own space
Ask me how I'm doing, I say, okay
Yeah, but ain't that what all say?
'I can do it' was circling in my mind the whole way until I finally stopped looking at the house and checking the map to make sure I was at the right place. The time was 1:37 am. I opened the dialog and typed the message.
Y/N: Can you go outside, please?
And the screen of my phone turned black. Great. I hope the message was delivered.
Back to real-time
While I was lost in my thoughts the door of the house opened forcing me back to reality.
Amelia's POV
35 minutes earlier
She didn't return my text and I didn't try to send another one thinking she was probably already sleeping. So I decided on doing the same. I turned off the mobile data on my phone and put it next to my pillow. I did it every night so notifications wouldn't disturb me.
I've been laying for around 20 minutes constantly changing positions. I couldn't sleep and the bed was surprisingly uncomfortable. The day was so hard and I was exhausted and still, I couldn't close my eyes. I almost lost the patient because of Owen and... Did I lose her? God, hope no.
I turned in the bed again now laying on my back and watching the ceiling. Well, if I can't sleep... I grabbed the phone and turned the mobile data back on. And immediately one notification illuminated on the screen.
Y/N: Can you go outside, please?
The message was sent 26 minutes ago. I got up and ran to the window. She really was here. Still. I took my leather jacket and put on a warm hoodie and headed outside.
Back to real-time
Back to Y/N's POV
"Hey, why are you so lightly dressed?" she said and put a jacket around my shoulders.
"Thanks," I gave her a light smile, "I didn't think it would be that cold." I felt how it already started to warm me up. And also It smelled like her which made me for a second forget what I had to say but then I continued "I am the biggest mess you can meet, and I'm truly sorry that my unsteadiness affected you. I-," I chuckled. How unbelievable that is, I'm finally admitting it to someone, "I don't know why I pushed you away. I wish I had at least one reason so I could explain it to you. But I don't. And I feel so bad for that. My life hasn't seemed real since my sister died and I feel like you're the only thing that keeps me together. And I can't fully understand how that shit works because we barely know each other. But you know what? Screw all that. I am so done being scared I just want to-."
She connected our lips forcing me to shut up.
If you want love
You gon' have to go through the pain
If you want love
You gon' have to learn how to change
If you want trust
You gon' have to give some away
If you want love
If you want love
"You're mumbling, " she whispered breaking the kiss.
I made a deep breath and looked her in the eyes, "what I want to say is that I'm so sorry for the way I treated you and I wish I could go back and change it."
"No need in going back," she took my hands and brought them to her lips trying to warm them up, "I'm glad you told me all this. Come on, let's take you in someplace warm."
She led me to her house still holding my hand. And I felt so good like I haven't in ages.
Maybe a human really needs another human to feel happiness and joy.
We went upstairs to a little room and Amelia left. I looked around, it wasn't fancy, nothing like that actually. It was simple but cozy. I sat on a bed throwing her leather jacket behind me and took my phone hoping to make myself busy with it cause it was a little uncomfortable being in the unknown place for the first time but then I realized that it died. So I leaned to my knees with my elbows and tried to not freak out again. Amelia came back 5 minutes later with two mugs of hot tea.
"This is all I needed," I said with a light smile after taking one sip. She sat next to me and we drank in silence. But it was a good kind of silence. The one where you don't feel awkward and want to fill it with a stupid conversation. The one when you understand that a person who you never knew you needed is actually the one you needed the most.
"Can I tell you something?" I asked when I finished with my tea but still holding the empty mug in my hands.
"Shoot," she replied putting hers on the floor and switched her position to face me.
"You're probably the first person in my life who I came back to. I mean, if I run, I never return," I chuckled down my breath and lowered my eyes as I tried to process what I just said. That I said the damn truth.
"Do I have to feel honored?" she said in her special manner that I would never be able to describe.
"You may," I laughed.
"Okay then," she chuckled, "but if serious, I feel the same."
The was a big pause in our conversation because we kept staring at each other. She was so tired and I could see it in her eyes that she wanted to sleep but she still was so beautiful. And the light was landing so perfectly that I could see sparks in her eyes. How could I meet someone like her?
The pause was broken and the moment was gone when something fell in the hallway behind the door.
"Hey, Zola, you okay?" Amelia asked as she went to check.
"Yeah, didn't see the table in the dark." A child's voice?
"Okay, goodnight, be careful," Amelia said closing the door and turned to me, "Sorry, it was my niece."
"It's fine, I should probably go home, it's late," I started to get up from bed.
"Stay," she said immediately grabbing my arm and then pause for a second, "I mean, it's late, so it's not safe to go alone."
"Yeah, you're right," I whispered and she let go of me.
"I'll give you something to change." She opened her closet trying to find something. Well, someone stole the moment then I'm gonna make a new one. I came behind her wrapping my arms around her waist and leaning my forehead on her back and then landing it on her shoulder. I heard how she smiled, that little sigh she made every time she chuckled and laughed. That was already so familiar and so... comforting. The way her hands were rubbing my arms and the way she was tilting her head so it would touch my cheek. It wasn't passion, it wasn't lust, it was something else. Something I couldn't understand yet.
We stayed like this for some time enjoying the way our bodies were connected.
"Let's go sleep, sunshine," she murmured.
WAIT, WHAT? How did she just call me?
"You okay?" She probably saw me frustrated.
"I'm okay," I took a second to check if I really was, "no," I sighed, "I mean yes but no, I don't know. It's just..." She took my hand and rubbed her thumb on the back of my palm.
"I used to call my sister sunshine and it threw me off the wagon. That's all."
"I'm sorry," she said putting her other hand down my chin and tilting my head, "I won't call you like that again."
"No, it's fine, just funny that you chose that word," I chuckled, "it's not funny actually but whatever."
She leaned to me kissing my forehead and then wrapped her arms around me in a protective hug, "I chose that word," she whispered still embracing me, "because you truly are the sunshine, even if you don't know it yet."
"Thank you," I gave her a little squeeze with my arms.
It was such a long day, damn, I'm glad it ends this way, in her arms
She gave me the T-shirt and a phone charger so I finally plugged it in and went to the bathroom to change. When I came back it was already turned on and I saw a voicemail from Callie. This girl likes to send 3 seconds voicemails.
Torres: "So, did you find her? Have you talked?"
"Does she ever sleep?" Amelia asked laughing.
"Nope, probably dancing in her underwear as usual," I said and she looked at me with one eyebrow raised, "nevermind," I laughed and texted Callie back.
Y/N: I'll call you tomorrow. everything's good.
I put the phone on the nightstand and crawled under the blanket.
"Goodnight, sunshine," she whispered pulling me closer to her in an embrace.
"Goodnight," I replied smiling.
If you want love
If you want love
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I really hope that you got the whole thing with timelines and it wasn't confusing.
I love this chapter so much. Okay, I kinda love that story but don't mind me haha