(Y/N)'s pov
I was glad that apparently the call Suna got wasn't that important. We basically just did nothing the rest of the day, played games and watched Netflix.
Though he did tell me that Atsumu needed his help around noon and I don't know why i just believed it, but i decided to just let it slide. I don't need any drama right now.
I still don't know why but something felt off, like he heard some heartbreaking news over the phone earlier.
Suna said it was just Atsumu and I didn't want to be more curios and ask any further.
Since it was already getting a bit late, Suna soon had to leave and I didn't want to stay at his house alone. I asked Michi if she wanted to hang out and of course she said yes.
I was glad, we didn't spend that much time together these last few weeks, but she still knew everything that was going on in my life.
The walk to her house wasn't that long luckily.
On my way I listened to I was all over her - salvia palth. I just still felt a bit down and sad music probably wasn't the best idea right now but I literally couldn't care less.
As I was crossing a street I looked over to my left to an alley and saw two people standing there.
I got a bit of a closer look and I didn't know what to feel at that moment. I saw him. Suna.
But it wasn't with Atsumu like he said. It was with another girl and they were a bit too close to my liking.
He was leaned against a wall while that girl almost left little to no space between them.
I quickly took out my phone to check something, so I opened my instagram and went to the message I got from Desiree that night that said I should leave her and her 'Boyfriend' alone. I went through her pictures and I was right, it was her.
Desiree and Suna together in this fucking street and i saw it with my own eyes.
I wanted to cry.
I guess this all was just a lie after all.
All the things he said to me, all the things he did, was just a lie?
I saw her getting closer to him and I couldn't stand this sight anymore, I didn't want to know what happened next so I just continued walking to Michi's.
My vision got blurry from the tears in my eyes. I honestly didn't know what to think or what to do.
Should i confront him? Act like i never saw them and wait till he eventually tells me? I have no fucking clue.
He comforted me when I was at my worst and was always the sweetest and most protective person to me. Why would he do all that just for him to have a thing on the side? I don't understand it and I'm not sure if I even want to.
I wiped my tears and left Michi a few messages saying that I was at her house but she didn't read them. I don't like ringing at people's door bells, it gives me anxiety and I don't even know why.
Though I had no choice so I rang her doorbell. I was hoping Michi would open the door since my eyes were probably a bit red from crying and I didn't want her parents to see me cry, other people seeing me right now like this is the last thing I need.
But guess what, her brother opened the door, great.
"Hey (Y/N) whatchu doing here?" He said with his all so famous smile, to be honest I don't know if I ever saw him in a negative mood, he always seemed to be happy and lightened up the mood.
I tried to put on a fake smile and told him I was here for Michi, so he let me in.
But before I could go to Michi's room he stopped me.
"Wait, is everything okay?" He asked and I don't think I've ever clenched my teeth together this bad. I tried to stop myself, but I couldn't. A single tear dropped down from my eyes. I hate my fucking body betraying me.
It wasn't that bad though, Arata has seen me cry before, he's like my brother after all and treats me like his little sister so I get that he cares about me too, but i still didn't like being vulnerable around other people.
His eyes softened as he saw me like this and pulled me into a hug. But before he could say anything Michi ran down the stairs, she probably read my texts by now, finally.
"HUSH go to your room Ara." she pulled him away and replaced his hug with hers.
"Let's go to my room okay?" She asked to which I just nodded.
When we got to her room we sat down on her bed and I told her everything that happened from today. Beginning by the call this morning to the whole day feeling weird and finally the breaking point, me seeing Suna and Desiree together.
She didn't know what to say.
"And you're sure it was him? Like I don't think he wouldn't do that or at least there could be a reason for it right?" She said nervously, trying to cheer me up, but something wasn't right. I don't know. Normally she wouldn't be like that. I expected her to cuss Suna out or tell me what an asshole he is and probably finding a way to get revenge, this wasn't like her.
Is she hiding something from me?
Even though she's my best friend and always told me when something actually did happen I couldn't handle this right now.
I spent some hours with Michi now just trying to distract myself, but I soon wanted to leave. I was still feeling weird. Something was definitely going on and it felt like everyone knew besides me.
"Thank you but I think I'm gonna make my way home now." I slowly got up from her bed and took my things.
"Wait what are you gonna tell Suna? You're just gonna act like it didn't happen or?"
"I'm going home, not to Suna" it hurt saying that, I'm not even going to lie. He felt like my second home, screw that. He was my home. And I hate to say it but he still felt like my home, my safe space. I still love him and I don't know if I will ever stop loving him.
"Wait, please" Michi said as I was about to close her door. I turned back around and she looked somewhat guilty.
What the fuck is going on.
So i sat back down and she explained everything to me. I don't know where she knew all this from but I definitely knew she wouldn't lie to me.
This all seems like a god damn movie, it can't be real. I was overwhelmed with all of this information.
"How do you know all this and why am I the only one that was fucking clueless here?" I said not knowing wether to be relieved, sad or angry. I was probably all of those.
At least I knew that Suna wasn't cheating and was just trying to protect me, but there was still something in me that felt weird. It felt like a lump in my throat that prevented me from getting anything out.
"Apparently Suna told Osamu and he told me. He wanted to tell you too but Suna insisted on waiting till it was over, he wanted to tell you personally."
Nothing came out, I just stared into the pillow I was holding. I couldn't even cry anymore.
"Since you saw them together today i had to tell you, i couldn't let you leave today thinking he still wanted her or that he was cheating."
...
"Please say something" she pleaded.
"I.."
What am i even doing. This wasn't the life i intended to have. Once we moved here i hoped to just have an easy life, i wanted to move away from all this shit and now I'm here once again.
"I don't know. I just can't do this right now. I have to process all of this"
I literally didn't know what to say or think right now.
So i got up and left.
I decided I'd made my way home. Yes home. I wasn't home for at least 2 weeks I think.
The walk home felt like forever, normally it was only about 10 minutes.
I walked home alone, it was about 10 PM. Normally Suna wouldn't let me go out alone at this time and it felt weird walking alone this late since he was always with me.
Soon I reached my house and checked if my moms boyfriends car was in the driveway, but to my luck, it wasn't. It was just hers.
But as I wanted to put my keys in the lock something stopped me, I don't know what. I just didn't feel like going in. It was like something was physically holding me back.
I took my key out and stood there for a second in front of my door.
I didn't know where to go, I just walked without a destination, until I got to Suna's and my spot.
Our bench under a little tree hidden behind some other trees with a view on the city.
I just sat down and tried to process my thoughts. And of course to my luck, it started raining.
But I literally don't care, I kept sitting there until I felt something. But nothing.
I felt numb. I should be happy right? I know the truth now and it wasn't even that bad, my boyfriend tried to protect me. Then why did I still feel so uneasy.
I was reaching for my phone just for me not to find it.
I must have left it at Michi's.
The rain was the only thing I heard and felt for a moment.
My head was pounding and it felt like my heart was racing and almost thudded out of my chest.
My throat was dry and that lump that wouldn't let me get anything out was back again.
It was almost like i couldn't breathe. I looked down to my hands and they were shaking, I didn't even feel it. My vision got blurry once again and i felt dizzy, almost like passing out.
This can't be happening right? This hasn't happened for years.
Oh god just fucking breathe.
.....
I need him. I needed him here right now. I don't care what he has done or if what Michi has said was right or false, i needed him right now, i felt like i was suffocating. I just cried, I let it all out, everything in my mind. I thought it was just a numb feeling but in reality i was overwhelmed with my thoughts and feelings. Too many feelings, i confused them with no feelings. But my tear stained cheeks told me otherwise.
The pressure on my chest finally released and it felt like someone was stabbing me, but it felt good. I let everything out.
I tried to catch my breath again by taking slow and deep breaths.
Is it over?
I just want it to be over.
I thought I heard a voice, but I probably just imagined it, until someone stood beside me.
"I knew you'd be here."
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A/N: y'all I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't know what to think of this chapter-
PLS lmk what you think.
i just wanted to move forward with the story since i didn't intend it to be as long as it already is and i still have many things planned so yea oops ig lol.