I close the cleansing unit's door and my calm expression drops. I pace back and forth like a caged beast. I have never lost control like that in my life. When I grabbed her wrist I merely intended to put my scent on her, nothing more. But when I smelled my brother's scent on her soft skin my body's temperature instantly rose and I felt my insides burn with rage. All reason had left me at that moment.
From the day I was born, I was taught a strict and vicious life. The foundation of our society is in hunting dangerous lifeforms. In order to do this, we have to be strong. I have never experienced fear, remorse or mercy. The human, however, feels too much at once. The scent of her fear had been intoxicating. When I'm hunting, I use traps, preferring to induce fear and panic into my prey in an attempt to make them run.
I am not a good male. Her shock and fear excites me, much like the thrill of the hunt, even though she isn't hunt-worthy. This human prey wouldn't have been considered lawful to kill, for she can't defend herself. Sanity had returned to me when she whimpered in fright. It took all my willpower to let her go.
The scars I earned on the hunt, in battle, and in pursuing dangerous creatures are marks of honor and a source of both public and personal pride. Today, however, I saw how the female have viewed them. She despises the marks running along my body. Specifically the one across my chest, which is the source of great envy among hunters in my planet. She despises my body... she despises me. Why should I care? She means nothing to me. This primitive creature is inferior in birth and rank.
I angrily turn on the shower and run my hands through my dreadlocks in an attempt to calm myself. Cold water washes over me and I close my eyes. Try as I may, the image of the female pressing her mouth to Bet-khar's face flashes through my mind and I breath deeply. The scent of another male still clung to her, I can smell it from here. A deep growl erupt from the back of my throat as my hand reach up to hold the shower stall.
I naturally clench my fists and bare my teeth. My claws extend and my muscles begin to expand in preparation to fight. I throw my head back roar like a feral animal. I reach for my self control and find nothing. I summon my willpower, trying to change or stop whatever is taking over me but instead, my body temperature raises and my blood begins to boil again.
My thick skin turns to dark scales. I do not understand what the fuck is wrong with my body. Whatever is in me is taking over. I'm entering unfamiliar territory.
I punch through the shower walls repeatedly, until the heavy metal structure give in. My claws slice right through the solid steel sink with vengeance.
The human sprints towards me calling out my name while I fight for control. I drop to my knees with a sickening thud. She reaches for my face, her fingers locking around the back of my neck and pull me closer to stare into her face. "It is ok. Shhh... I'm here with you. Keep breathing... shhh. You will be alright. I'm here with you. Shhh.." The female croon softly.
She presses my face against her small chest. I'm still breathing heavily but vaguely register the smell of my shirt mixed with her skin. Her tiny hands begin to move in soothing circles on my broad back. She is treating me like a newborn youngling crying to be fed. Strangely enough, the treatment is working. I feel my anger begin to abate as she hold me gently in those stick-looking arms.
I am disoriented, angry... too exhausted to be embarrassed.
In everybody's life there's a point of no return. And in a very few cases, a point where you can't go forward anymore. When we reach that point, all we can do is embrace it.