By the time Peter had fully rolled out the pizza dough, his hands were completely coated in flour. He'd become used to accepting that the kitchen was always going to be a mess and he'd have time to clean up later anyway.
It was still pretty warm for Chicago evenings in early September, and the wooden sliding doors that overlooked the patio had been open all day to let in fresh air. It was weird having all this space, Peter thought. He still knew he would never get used to it.
Being able to afford everything and more, being comfortable. Even when he landed his first job out of college. Even when his tech start up made its first million in a matter of months. It would never feel real.
"You deserve it, Peter." MJ had said.
He had been so nervous taking the leap to start his own company. He'd lay awake on his back next to MJ, coming up with various disastrous scenarios. They'd go broke. He'd have to fire all his college friends and colleagues that he hired. He'd have to stay working for someone else forever - at a job that paid him pretty darn well, but didn't fulfill him.
"This is bullshit, Peter. You're gonna be doing what you love." MJ had said. And of course she was right.
When Peter looked behind him now, he saw Keoni laying on the grass next to the trampoline. She'd been distracted by her 86-piece Lego gear set and had almost put the entire thing together since she'd started a couple hours ago. It was her Christmas present from Ned and Betty, and MJ had said it was way too boring of a toy for a three-year-old. Keoni didn't seem to mind it, though.
He'd just finished laying out all the toppings in small glass bowls around the table when he heard the sound of her footsteps approaching.
"Daddy, I finished my Lego." Keoni said, putting her arms around his leg and peering over the counter.
"Yeah, I saw you." Peter smiled, dusting his hands on his shorts. "Good job, squish."
That was Peter's nickname for Keoni, and it had stuck from the first time he held her in the hospital. He thought she was literally the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, and May had been there to agree with him. Okay, maybe all parents were slightly biased, Peter thought, but there was something about knowing that a tiny human with a beating heart was his.
Keoni was born at 6:34p.m; Peter still had vivid memories of MJ laying on her hospital bed and him sitting down next to her, carrying Keoni close to his chest. As MJ dozed in and out of consciousness, Peter had just stared at his daughter, and thought about how he'd found someone else that he needed to protect forever.
"She looks like you, Parker." MJ had mumbled.
"She does?" Peter smiled.
And MJ hadn't replied because she'd fallen asleep again. She had always said she'd had a 'mini Peter'; except for MJ's loose curly hair, Keoni had Peter's wide brown eyes and lips. They had the same mannerisms, the same ability to concentrate on anything for a long time and liked and hated all of the same foods.
When Peter wasn't working, he'd spend practically every minute with Keoni, especially when MJ was pregnant with Nari. They'd build forts in the garden together, bake and ice cookies, and make slime and do puzzles, to name a few things.
Keoni talked a lot for her age and asked a lot of questions. Peter had gotten better at being patient enough to answer them all. He wanted to be there for her in a way his dad and Uncle Ben couldn't. Because if there was anything he'd learnt...it was that time was really precious.
She was his best friend.
"Should we put the toppings on our pizza?" Peter asked Keoni as she nodded.
He picked her up so she could sit on the kitchen island, jokingly making a big deal about how grown up she was getting and how he could barely lift her.
"You have flour on your nose." Keoni giggled, pointing back at him.
"Really...do I?" Peter replied, pretending to be shocked and putting flour on her own nose. "Whoops - now you do too."
Keoni was in hysterics again. Peter thought she kinda had his laugh too. MJ had been sleeping throughout the morning after being up with Nari all of last night, so Peter had done Keoni's hair today. It was his own attempt of two French braids into a low ponytail. It wasn't as perfect as how MJ always made it, but Keoni had assured him that it looked pretty.
Peter had put her in a slightly oversized purple tie-dye top and denim shorts, before lathering her in sunscreen. Her skin had become bronzed from being out in the sun all day. Peter made sure to help her wash her hands first in the sink before guiding her through spreading tomato sauce on the dough.
They talked and laughed for some time, finishing up the pizza. Peter put it in the oven and they jumped around on the trampoline until the sun set. He'd become accustomed to doing all the dad things he'd never had to do before. Like cutting her pizza into square, bite-size pieces. Letting her have apple juice but secretly watering it down in her cup so she didn't get a sugar high.
Adjusting the temperature of water in her bath so it was just right. Creating bubbles with her favourite lavender soap, turning off the bathroom lights and entertaining her with glow sticks. Washing her mass of curly hair and rinsing it without getting shampoo in her eyes. Brushing carefully through the tangles and braiding it back again. Assisting her as she brushed her teeth. Dressing her in her favorite long-sleeved pyjamas that had rainbow patterns on them.
Then he dimmed the lights in Keoni's 'big girl room' and lay with her under the covers. He read her another one of her books while she listened intently and helped him turn the pages.
The wallpaper in Keoni's room was an artistic masterpiece, Peter thought. MJ had managed to incorporate those same paintings of the sky and clouds that she'd done years ago, blending it effortlessly into outer space and galaxies. When she was on maternity leave away from all the work she did in hospitals, MJ worked hard on her art business on the side.
She'd spend hours on paintings, often falling asleep with the brush in her hands, or on business calls with the team that designed her wallpapers. At every re-stock on 'Keoni and co.', the site would crash and they'd be sold out of everything in minutes. One of the Kardashians had featured her wallpaper in an Instagram post once. Of course Peter had thought that was a big fucking deal. She also had a podcast. Peter loved setting up all the equipment for her weekly, and eavesdropping on the funny stories she would tell about him and the kids sometimes.
MJ always had a lot of stories to tell.
Her last episode was called 'Turning into a Mom - Zombie. Take 2.'
"Can we name the planets again?" Keoni asked, as Peter put down the book. "Like I do with Nana?"
May was Nana. Ally was Noni.
"Of course we can." Peter said, as she snuggled up closer to him and put her arms around his neck. "What's the first one you see...right by the Sun?"
"Umm..." Keoni muttered, staring up at the wallpaper. "Mercury...?"
"Yeah, it's Mercury." Peter smiled, turning to look at her quickly. "I'll go next...okay...I know that one's Venus."
"Then..." Keoni continued, squinting a little. "Planet Earth. Where we all live."
"Yeah - good job." Peter said, kissing her forehead gently.
The door to the right of them opened slightly, and MJ walked through it cautiously, carrying Nari who was fast asleep.
"Is she sleeping already?" MJ mouthed to Peter.
"No." Peter mouthed back, smiling a little.
MJ was wearing a long, pale blue checkered dress and her hair fell down her shoulders. Her eyes were a little tired from being sleep deprived. Having a one month old and a toddler wasn't easy but MJ always smiled through it. She was kind of a natural at the whole parenting thing, Peter thought. She still always had at least one pair of her small signature hoops in her ears. The same 'LM' gold necklace around her neck.
'MP' in silver.
Sometimes she'd switch them out for her 'Keoni' or 'Manari' necklaces gifted to her by Cartier. She'd never ever go to sleep without kissing Keoni goodnight first. She'd always get up early in the morning and pack Keoni's lunch for school, even when Peter insisted he could handle it. When Nari had gotten a little sick, she'd lay on some pillows by his crib every night and read a book, checking his temperature every ten minutes till it went down.
MJ did everything for her kids without complaining and Peter loved her even more for it.
"Hi, momma." Keoni said excitedly, before realizing her brother was sleeping and lowering her voice dramatically. "Look...we were naming the planets."
"Hi, baby." MJ said softly, chuckling a little at Keoni's attempt of a whisper. "Thought you might want to say goodnight to Nari. Is there space for us in your bed?"
"Yeah, there's lots and lots." Keoni said quietly again, reaching over to lift up her covers. "Daddy, can you scoot to that side a little bit? We can't take up all of the space."
"Why, thank you." MJ smiled, locking eyes with Peter who was laughing a little and shaking his head.
MJ climbed in carefully, so that Nari was resting peacefully with his head on her chest. Keoni moved over to coo over her brother, who had a white, fleece onesie on. Then she reached out to stroke his hair gently, her brown eyes darting back at MJ for approval.
"That's it...nice and gentle." MJ said. "You're a really great big sister, Keoni."
Keoni was overjoyed by this comment, smiling to herself.
"Aw - he has the hiccups." Keoni whispered. "Maybe he's hungry, momma?"
"Think he's pretty full already." MJ said. "He gets fed a lot - even in the middle of the night. That's why mommy's a little tired."
"But you still need to sleep at night too." Keoni said.
"I know right?" MJ nodded, as Keoni wrapped her arms around Peter again. "I try my best."
"And why is Nari always taking a nap?" Keoni asked, yawning.
"Cus he's still little." Peter said softly. "He needs all the energy he can get."
"Exactly." MJ said. "You used to sleep all the time when you were a baby too."
Keoni seemed satisfied enough with that answer again. Nari shifted his head over so slightly and a made a noise as if he was about to wake up. But he didn't. So MJ just readjusted him on her chest and made a comment to Peter about how he was probably dreaming about something. They were all in bed for a while longer; Peter finished naming all the planets with Keoni, and Peter tucked her into bed properly next to her favorite teddy bear.
"Goodnight, squish." Peter said, running his fingers through her almost-dry hair.
"Goodnight, Daddy." Keoni mumbled sleepily, sitting up to kiss him on the lips quickly then laying back down. "I love you."
His heart still melted a whenever Keoni said that, and MJ was looking back at them like she couldn't get over this moment either.
"How much?" Peter whispered.
"The Milky Way and back." Keoni replied, shutting her eyes.
Then once Keoni was fast asleep, Peter and MJ managed to creep out of her room, turning on her night light and leaving the door slightly open. MJ handed Nari over to Peter and disappeared to take a shower.
It's almost like Nari knew he wasn't in MJ's arms anymore because he opened his eyes slightly and whined like he was going to start crying again.
"Shh..." Peter whispered, holding Nari against his shoulder and rubbing his back. "Shh...it's okay."
As Peter rocked him slowly, he thought about how much he wanted to appreciate this time when Nari was still tiny. Before him and MJ would blink and he'd be grown up.
And then Nari was fast asleep too. And Peter set him down in his crib gently and placed his blanket over him. The same one MJ had pulled out of that box years ago when they were in college.
He sighed in relief slightly, because he was at peace with knowing the kids were asleep, and he'd have some time with MJ - until Nari woke up crying in a couple hours, it would be a quiet Saturday evening.
He got back to cleaning up the kitchen until it was spotless, lighting a vanilla scented candle and placing it on the island. Peter heated up what was left of the pizza he'd made with Keoni, and was about to help himself to a slice when MJ reappeared in her pajama shorts and a tank top.
"Feel like a human being again?" Peter said, as MJ poured herself some green tea into a mug and set it down.
"Yeah, I do." MJ chuckled, walking up to him and putting her arms around him from behind. "Feel like I haven't seen you all day."
She kissed Peter on the cheek and then sat down beside him.
"I've literally been napping and waking up and feeding Nari and changing him on repeat for twelve hours straight." MJ sighed. "Can you give me a back massage tonight - my muscles are killing me."
"Sure." Peter said. "I'll use those essential oils and everything - it'll be like you're in a spa."
"I'd love to go to a spa again." MJ said, sipping her tea. "But we don't have time."
"Things will be easier when your mom gets back from Santorini." Peter replied. "Then she can just come over and babysit every day for free."
"I know - Keoni's obsessed with her." MJ replied.
"What, cus Ally lets her stay up till eleven and eat popsicles?" Peter said.
MJ laughed softly again as Peter picked up his pizza slice.
"Thinking of taking them to New York to see my Dad. And May and Happy of course." MJ said, before sipping her green tea. "When Nari's not on a fucked up sleeping schedule-"
"I'll come." Peter smiled, running his fingers against hers. "It's no big deal to take a few days off work. Or we can make it a weekend trip."
MJ just smiled a little, before yawning. She stared at Peter for a little while, tilting her head to the side.
"I like your dad glasses, Parker." she said, as he shook his head at her.
"You said they were nice when I picked them out." Peter said, shifting his black square-ish shaped glasses up his nose.
"Yes...but then I said they looked like dad glasses." MJ shrugged. "I still love you, don't worry."
"You're the one drinking green tea and organizing bottles of breast milk into the fridge." Peter said. "With labels."
"Oh my God - who are we?" MJ sighed, as Peter laughed.
"I don't even know." he replied.
"Can I have some?" MJ asked, gesturing at the other slice on Peter's plate. He nodded. "What did you guys put on this?"
"Literally everything." Peter said. "Ham, olives, sundried tomatoes, pineapple-"
"Pineapple? It sounded good until then." MJ said, but she took a bite anyway.
"It's our take on Hawaiian pizza." Peter said.
"Oh." MJ said. "I forgot that was your favorite."
"With it being controversial or whatnot."
"It's always gonna be controversial." MJ replied, with her mouth half full of pizza. "Guess that makes you and Keoni officially twins. Weirdos."
As Peter looked back at MJ and continued to eat, he almost pictured that they were both teenagers again. Like May would come barging in with a bag of groceries any minute now. He couldn't help smiling and feeling like the luckiest man on the planet.
"Yeah." Peter said. "I guess so."