Read A/N without fail.
Kim Taehyung
Next morning
I angrily drove away to my dad's mansion to demand his answers for polluting my Aria's mind. He would have injected all his wife's theories into her. Everytime I hurt her it was because of them. The tormenting past they created for me. Why won't they let me live in peace? Rushing into the foyer I hurried my steps towards the garden. When I saw him nowhere in the garden I went to his room and saw him talking to his wife's picture.
"Aria will make him realise your love for Tae, Nadia." He spoke to the picture smiling. I cringed hearing him. How could he?
"What did you say to her," I roared behind him, making him flinch a bit. He regained his composure when he was face to face with me.
"What I told and to whom I told?" He asked me calmly.
"Can you please stop pretending?" I asked him with a cold smile.
"Is this how you talk to your dad Tae?" Is this how I raised you?" He yelled with rage.
"You raised me? You ruined me dad. You ruined me because of her," I yelled with equal rage pointing at the big portrait that hung behind him. This was the reason I never came to his room.
I could feel her gazing at me as if she was real. It made me miss all her motherly love and warmth. It also reminds me of the cruel words she spat mindlessly at me.
"Mind your words, Tae," he roared dangerously.
"Look dad, she was your past. No, she was our dark past. The past that almost made me lose my Aria. I don't want anyone talking about her to Aria, even you. Stop polluting my wife's mind for God sake," I bellowed at him.
His eyes turned red and were firing hate at my words. I didn't care about that. That day he was comparing Aria with this woman. Now he is using my innocent wife to support a vile person like her. Being the innocent kind hearted one she is she gave in to his manipulations. What he's actually doing thinking he is doing for my good is not really good.
"You ungrateful swine. She was right. You are a dirt. You are an ungrateful disgrace to a pure soul like her. She left me for you, you ungrateful scum. She was scared that you would turn out to be a monster like me. She wanted a better future for you. She loved you more than she loved me, you punk. When she was dragged in between her motherly love and our relationship, she chose you. She did. She threw me away. She threw our years of love for you to grow safe. But here you are standing accusing your mum for her loving you to infinity. You should fucking never show me your face in my life. You don't even deserve my wife's love nor mine. Not even Aria's. Because you would accuse her if she tries to point out your mistake. You are an egoistic coward who only cares about you. You are revenging me this way for abusing you in the past. You are accusing your mum because she hurt you and left you. And trust me she did right by leaving you but she should have not loved you more than me. If you continue acting this way, nobody would ever stay with you other than your obsessive pain and ego. What you are doing is revenge. You are intentionally inflicting the same pain they caused you unintentionally. And about Aria she would not even look into your face if you don't give up. She will never choose a self obsessed scum like you," he yelled everything at my face, choking me with pain. I turned around unable to face him with my glossy eyes.
All his words tormented me more than the abuse I faced in my childhood. My blood turned cold, a strong clenching pain spread across my chest. I felt it hard to breathe as I slowly retreated from his room. The malice he spat against me for her. She disowned me and he ruined my childhood. And now because of her again he disowned me, and cursed me.
What was my fault? And now when I finally found my solace in my wife, they say I don't deserve her? What did I do to receive such a harsh life? Do I never deserve love? Will my Aria leave me too?
Without going to my office I returned back home. I went to our room and threw the briefcase on the bed. Removing my coat harshly I threw it in a corner. I yelled to decrease my pain and frustration. "Aria," I yelled.
I wanted her. I needed her. The fears running in my bones made me collapse. I broke down completely on the floor as I was on my knees and my palms on the rug. I coughed loudly with my eyes flooding the tears. I was scared that I would lose my life. The coldness began to surround me like before. The light fading away, blacking my eyes. I felt trapped once again and this time it was clogging my breath. I needed my Aria.
"Aria, come to me please."
"Get me into your arms. I am scared Aria."
"I love you Aria. Never leave me."
" Come and get me with you please. I need you Aria," I cried badly. I had never felt helpless like this ever.
Suddenly warmth was all I felt. I was hearing the heartbeat of the woman who held my heart. Her sweet voice was crying out my name.
"Tae, baby look at me," she cooed at me trying to look at my face but all I did was hide into her chest. I hugged her tight crying my pain.
"Tae please, stop crying and look at me baby. Tell me what's wrong?" she pleaded holding me. I shook my head to a no and continued bawling my eyes out.
" I love you Aria," I cried.
" I love you more. I will always love you more baby," she spilled her love. I clinged onto her tight. That's all I want. Nothing more. Only her. I closed my eyes with a smile. She kissed my forehead and temple. I was in her embrace for more than an hour and she held me with the same tight hold.
"Let's get you to bed first. Come with me now," she softly muttered. I obeyed her silently and hopped into bed with her. Hugging her almost immediately I drifted into dreamland.
After 5 days
"Tae, why are you being this way? We are just going to meet your dad. He has been asking for you, baby. He is worried," Aria muttered softly.
I stubbornly shook my head to a no and dismissed her non verbally. She pecked my forehead and headed to my dad's mansion for a checkup. I wanted to scoff at her words because that day all he cared about was his wife and out of the blue he cared for me. Nobody chose me. He chose her for me. And my mum abandoned me. Only my Aria chose me.
She didn't know why I was broken that day. Not asked nor talked about that. She treated me the same. So full of love. Nothing like he said will ever happen. My Aria will only choose me till the end.
The sun went down slower than any other day. Time rolled down real sluggish in her absence. I was sitting in our room waiting for Aria like any other day. I can't look into anything knowing she is at his place. What if he again manipulates her?
I went over to the balcony and stood with my hands on the railing. Aria loves our balcony so much that she decorated it of her liking. She has a weird taste and likings. One of the reasons she chose to love me. That woman was too strange to understand but so easy to love. My woman.
My heart jumped in bliss when I saw her car entering the gates. Maybe this is why she loved it here. She loves waiting here for me. I felt very special when I realised the fact why she adores this place. I went down and saw her dropping her bags on the couch.
I headed to the dining area to get the glass filled with water for her. She looked sacked and eyes were sunken. When I skipped my steps towards the couch I saw Laila standing in front of Aria. Aria was sitting with her elbows on her thighs and her fingers intertwined with one another. She leaned her head onto her hands with closed eyes.
"Whose ring is on the chain Aria?" Laila asked.
"None of your business," Aria clipped.
"No need to be so rude," Laila argued.
"I am not in the mood for your tantrums Laila. You are right, I am rude because I am pissed. Get going, I don't wanna lash out on you," Aria replied, annoyed. Laila walked away from her.
I neared her and saw her slumped form.
"What happened Aria?" I asked, tucking a strand of her dangling hair behind her ear. I forwarded the glass towards her. She didn't take the glass from me. Instead she stared at me blankly.
"Was that the reason for your outburst a few days back?" She asked me with a knowing expression on her face. Placing the glass on the table in front of us I sat beside her, leaning on the couch to shrug away the uncomfort. I gave her a stiff nod.
"Carry me to our room," she asked me, stretching her hands at me. I kissed her forehead before wrapping my right hand around her back and the left arm underneath her legs. I smiled when she snuggled into me.
Dropping her back on the bed, I smiled in happiness. My mood turned sour when I saw the ring that was around her chain. I knew to whom it belonged. I knew it.
"What are you wearing?" I asked her in a lowkey angry tone.
"What?"
"What are you wearing around your neck?" I sneered at her. She held the ring in the chain into her palms.
"Uncle gave me this."
"Isn't this hers?"I growled again. She nodded her head timidly.
"It belongs to my mother in law." She replied looking into my eyes.
"She disowned me Aria," I yelled exasperated.
"She gave birth to you Tae," she argued back.
"He gave this to you today?" I growled hovering over her.
"No. He gave it to me weeks back," she replied looking down.
"Why is that you never told me?" I yelled at her, standing up from the bed. I expected her to console me. Tell me this isn't happening but she chose to stay silent. She gave me silence. Hurting silence.
"Didn't I tell you that? Are you someone who took any oath to deny whatever I say or disrespect me in every way Aria? When I shower you with precious gifts and ornaments, why is that you insist on wearing things of cheaters?" I yelled angrily at her, when she stood with an exasperated expression plastered across her face.
Why is she never understanding my feelings? Will she never value me at all? I never want anything related to my mom towards her. She is so precious to me. I never want to lose her. At any chance, in any situation. But why doesn't she never understand.
Is it taking her far and far away from me?
Will it finally happen?
"Stop it, Tae. It's my wish to totally accept one's gift or not. And the very first thing, stop calling your mom like that. Why do you hate her so much Tae? Just try to hear me out. We can't move on to our happy phase if you are stuck with some dark memories. You are not heari---" I cut her off when I heard the same shit again. Me not listening to her. Why does she have to say something I don't wanna hear? She should not think about my mom.
"The fuck Aria. I shower you with more precious and beautiful things and you are stubborn in keeping such a ring of a sinful person like her with you? Why is that you support her so much? Or is it because of Laila like she is on my stand where you are not agreeing just to make me feel miserable," I bellowed.
"Stop acting like a knob head Tae. You think I'm that stupid? Like seriously, she left your dad because of you. She was scared of her son's future. She was scared that you would end up like him or you would get hurt. She wanted to protect you and you are unfaithful to her? And not only her, so will I. Any mother will choose to save her child's future. If I had to, I would and here you are fighting with your dad. He loves your mom just like you love me---"
I realised her words that cut my heart deeper and wider than a knife.
She will not choose me.
She will not choose me.
She will not choose me.
She will not choose me.
And this what I heard and that was the only thing that was playing on my mind again and again.
"What did you say? So you will leave me too? You will not choose me? You will leave me like my mom?" I asked her with my broken voice and glossed eyes. Nobody has ever broken me like her.
I was losing all my senses now and that was the last straw.
"Omg! Baby, I didn't mean it in that way. Baby look at me. Tae."
"No...No... No," I started to walk away from her shaking my head with angry tears flooding my eyes. I put them in bay with my burdened expression.
She tried calling me out but I fastened my steps and rushed to my car. I started the car and hit the road at a killer speed. Breaking the rules was my least thought as I was drowning in the fear of losing her. But another emotion rose in my vein that masked my fear and I showed cased anger. My veins protruded as angry tears slipped my eyes.
How could she say that? How could she think of leaving me? She didn't value my love? Her promise? How can she? I went to my club and yelled," Out," and slammed my hands on the counter. All my guards came in and vacated the entire club in a few seconds. I took a glass filled with drink. Before I could gulp the drink I heard her voice, that stopped my actions.
"TaeTae should not drink." I heard her. Turning around I saw no one. She was engraved inside my head.
"Tae, no kisses for a drunk jerk." I heard her in the back of my mind. I threw the glass across the counter.
God! All I saw was her. Everything around me screamed her and only her. I destroyed the club with my might. Nothing soothed my buring feelings. She was my only fear. My girl is leaving me." NO! NO! NOOO! Don't think about her Tae. Stop it!" I yelled at myself. But all that was on my mind was her.
Slumping on the couch I tried to recall everything. Why was everyone blaming me? I didn't care about my father's words that day. But today she said it herself. I was the bad guy. I was not worthy of anyone. Nobody could choose me except her. And now she gave up on me too. Wow!
Just wow.
I laughed out loud at myself. My fate. I know I should be crying over it but all I could do now was to laugh at myself. Because it would make me feel more miserable. Maybe then I can forget the fact that she would not choose me.
"Tae?" I heard Jin. Beside him stood Laila. I went home when Laila came to pick me up with Jin. She cried looking at me like a mess. But my heart screamed for my wife, who didn't bother to come. I didn't bother looking nor answering Laila's call. I know Laila cared but it didn't warm my heart.
They dragged my wasted self to my room where I found Aria on the corner of the bed sitting on the floor with her knees hugged to her chest. I knew she was sobbing. I could hear my heart break for her each sob.
Somehow I regained my strength looking at her broken form. I will always have my strength to have her in my embrace, to hold her to me, to keep her to me. They saw me looking at her like she was my world. I am not lying when I say she is.
We both were a mess without eachother but matching so well when we are imperfect. I went towards her with tiny steps unlike me. She became aware of my presence. Raising her head up gently she didn't waste a second to launch towards me when her gaze fell on me. She hugged me tight while I let my hands stay on my sides without wrapping them around her like always. I gave her the silence she gave me.
I was already healing, but the fear, anguishing thoughts, didn't fade away. She was sobbing on me, mumbling a series of apologies. I never wanted her apology, all I wanted and needed was her love. Only her love. When she saw me not hugging her back she sobbed hard. I was too broken to do so. I was lost. I was lost in fear. Lost in the dark thoughts of my past. Lost in the depth of love. I was lost long ago deep down in her. She pulled away from me, making my body shiver as it lost her warmth.
She took my face in her palms as she began to, "Tae."
"No,"I growled.
"Tae---," I cut her off by hugging her to me, scared that the mere seconds of her not being close to me will take her away.
"I love you Aria, I'm insanely in love with you too much. I fucking love you so much that I feel like killing everyone when you aren't around me. I can't see you choosing anyone, baby. I am not strong enough to witness that. I would gladly take my last breath if I had to lose you. Lose your love. I love you more than anything, anybody and beyond words Aria,"I softly confessed everything to her, who sobbed while holding my shirt in her fist.
"Don't cry love.. No," I said as I pulled away from her.
"I love you Tae, so much baby. More than one could ever imagine," she said in a love filled tone making my heart beat in ease again but my mind played its twisting games inside my head.
Before gulping the words down they slipped my lips, "No, you don't," I said, making her face turn to a painful expression that almost knocked off my breath.
The pain that marred behind her eyes was killing me for saying it to her but I was in as much pain as her. It would be appropriate to say that my pain is 1000 times more than her. I know she didn't mean it but she said it. She said that to me...She said that.
She proved my claims utter stupid and unreal by smashing her lips with mine. She moved her lips in a healing way providing security to my lunatic mind. That she is in love with me. That she would never leave me.
I returned to her kiss after a few seconds. I wanted to get showered by her but now she was tempting. My brat. She is mine. I conveyed my raw feelings to her. I didn't know when she took control of me but now she is my everything and she will be my everything forever. Each and every emotion that I felt was related to her. It was raw and a compelling obsession. A compelling emotion to love her raw and love her like a beast. I loved how my emotions affected her. She is the drug that makes me high with no other escape.
She was the reason for my extreme anger as well as my sanity. I pulled away when I sensed she needed air. She kissed my face all over muttering "I LOVE YOU MY JERK" with each kiss.
My tears were ready flowing without a barrier. I showered kisses all over her face and snuggled into her neck. I lifted her off her feet and placed her carefully on the bed and hugged her tight.
"Sleep princess," I muttered.
"I'll never stop choosing you Tae," was the last thing I heard before I slipped into dreamland peacefully.
Kim Aria
He was agonised because of my small indifferences. That could shift his breathing.
I saw him struggle to breath hearing me, that made me numb. I wanted to cradle him like I did when he ran away from me.
What did I do to you Tae? All I wanted to give him was the happiness he missed. I dug into his past to make him let go of his tormenting memories. But what did I do to my love? I caused him more pain than his past could ever do. I said something indifferent in the heat of the moment and he chose to hang onto that.
I was scared senseless when I witnessed the lethal control I had over his heart. That my one indifference can destroy everything. Though that was never my intention nor never will, it did create a serious impact inside him. Hiding my tremoring thoughts I sat in a corner holding my head. I just wanted him to come back to me sound and safe. He deserves all my love.
His despair was proved with my irrational act, that made his clutches stronger onto his fears of the past. I didn't consider myself alive until I saw his wretched figure in front of me. The devastation crashing with strong waves, harsher than my previous misery. I did the only right thing. Grasping him to me. Into my arms to keep him calm without losing his mind.
His confessions never failed to make me smile. They always lightened my heart and made me high on love. But today, hearing his broken voice confessing his undying love for me made me sob.
They were so pure like always but he sounded pained to let the words out of his lips. He sounded so in pain that he wanted me to realise he loves me like a lunatic. Of course I knew he loved me. And I love him too. So much more in fact. All my love is for him.
But my heart shattered when I heard his reply. Tae never denies my love. Clouds of pain were raining in his hazel eyes. He forgot everything. His mum, his dad and everything. He was clinging onto this one word of mine. Clashing our lips together, I crushed his stupid thoughts. He wasn't responding at first, making my inside collapse. But he picked up within seconds and gave in to me. He was back. The possessive jerk, who was always demanding my love for him was back. My jerk who always has my attention and thoughts to be swirling only around him was back.
I pulled away when I ran out of breath. I kissed his every feature confessing my love. Taking me in his arms, he carefully placed me on the bed like was his precious doll. Lieing on my tiny body he hugged me tighter than usual. He was just a baby. His innocent face as he slept we're showcasing only one fear of his. Me! Me leaving him.
Among all the challenges I faced, leaving him is something I'm incapable of.
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A/N
Hey chocochipians. As I said we are nearing the end, I have been giving you guys frequent updates as I promised. Since I am not demanding votes or anything I see many people not voting or interacting like before.
It annoys me to no extent when I see people asking me about the story or texting me about it, but when I myself ask you guys to vote on every chapter why do you stay blind. It's getting on my nerves lately when I see these comments. They want updates but they won't appreciate me? You won't appreciate me, yet just ask one for updates.
How inhuman you sound. I myself asked a few readers to vote and tell me about the book, nonetheless, they just told me their requirements (updates and stuff) and stayed blind when I asked them something in appreciation.
The last 5 chapters will be posted only when we reach the quoted votes. I am busy with my life, juggling with school and my hectic life. Yet you are playing real bad with me. You forced me to this step.
Next update only upon reaching 90+ votes. Nearly 400 are reading in a week but except my loyal ones none vote. Hardly 50 are voting. I am sorry for my lovely chocochipians who are very supportive. Hope you guys will wait patiently for me.
If they stay the same NO UPDATES. I MEAN IT.