TW: mentions of death and depression and suicide
You soar up through the clouds, testing the new boots you had modified the night before. You kicked your feet out and flew upwards several feet, dipping down again to push off against nothing and go horizontally over the city.
A grin builds up as your helmet detects a fast moving object coming from behind.
You feel the sudden impact as she clatters into you from the side and pulls you down.
You crash onto a building and she pins you down onto it with a snarl.
It loosens slightly when she realises who it is.
'Are you serious? Alex, call off backup, it's the idiot again.' She says into her comms.
'Awh you have a nickname for me? How sweet.' You smirk under your helmet.
Her eyebrows furrowed further and you chuckled.
'It's not sweet. Ugh. You are so annoying!'
'And yet you're straddling me.' You watched as her face turned as red as her suit and she scrambled off of you.
'Whatever. Can you keep out of the sky for once?' She grumbled.
'Can't keep track of me Supergirl?' You smile.
'You keep flipping finding our trackers.' She says.
'Yeah well the DEO isn't great at hiding them. See you around.' You laugh at her shocked expression, blasting off to the sound of her spluttering something about 'how the hell did she know about the DEO'.
—-
You walked into the DEO with ease, ignoring the several guns pointed at you.
'Who are you?' Alex Danvers said, her gun raised.
'I think you call me 'idiot'?' You grin when she gawks at you.
You get closer to her.
'And you know how much your sister loves me.' You whisper.
She tugs you into a private room.
'How did you get in here? And how do you know I'm related to Supergirl?' She looks angry and you shrug.
'I have my sources.'
'You know, you're stupid for coming in her without your helmet on. Now we know who you are.' Alex said, crossing her arms.
'Yes you do. You still won't catch me, Alex.'
'Just you wait.' She smirked.
You patted her shoulder, moving past her.
'Where are you going?'
'Away. Don't worry, you'll see me soon.'
'Wait! No.'
'You have no right to hold me here. Adios.' You saluted her and walked out of the DEO.
—-
You put your legs up and pressed the button that allowed you to listen to what your bug picked up.
'She what?' Supergirl, or Kara Danvers as you now knew her said.
'Walked in here like she owned the place. I wanted to punch her.'
'And without her helmet?'
'Yep.'
'What did she look like?'
'Bisexual dumbass, this isn't what we should be focusing on.'
'Sorry.'
'But she was hot. Like incredibly hot.'
'Really? Rao.'
'Kara. Keep focus. We need to take down this idiot.'
'Yes. Of course.'
You stopped listening, a blush rising at the fact Supergirl thought you were attractive.
—-
'Kara.' You landed next to her, watching as the building she had held up started to crumble.
'What are you doing here? Cant you see I'm trying to save people.' She snarled.
You blanched.
'I came to help.' You said, more quiet.
'I don't need your annoyances right now.' She said, groaning.
You ducked and got into a crouching position, holding the weight of the building off of her and pushing off with your boots.
Taking it into the sky, you tilted it into an upright position and placed it back down.
You landed, your ears rushing with sounds around you and your heart beating erratically. Waves of anger were boiling through your body and you could feel an impending panic attack.
Supergirl walked up to you.
'Thank you. It's-'
'Save it.' You snapped, tears accumulating and you choked back a sob before flying straight out of there.
You didn't get out of bed for a week, you couldn't.
—-
'Long time no see Supergirl.' You sat on the edge of a building, watching as the red and blue figure came closer.
You ignored the shock in her face at seeing yours, sans helmet for the first time.
'Causing havoc again?' She asked.
'Have I ever? Caused havoc I mean.' You replied.
'Well no but-'
'I didn't appreciate the way you spoke to me.' You mumbled, letting a tear fall.
'I'm sorry. I thought because you don't usually help-'
'I can't. It brings back... memories I can't handle. I helped because it looked like you could be crushed by that building.' You breathed, looking down at your shaking hands.
'Oh well thank you.' Kara said.
'Right. Well, see you.' You leapt off the building, wondering what it'd be like if you could just keep falling and falling until the pain stopped, but your boots kicked in and sent you soaring away before Supergirl could say another word.
—-
'I'm sorry about the last few times I saw you.' You started with, flying up to meet her in the sky where she was soaking in the sun rays.
'No I'm sorry-'
'I was in a bad place and-'
'No really-'
'It's fine hones-'
You both stopped and chuckled at each other.
'God how do you look this good in the morning?' She asked, and a split second after her face was an alarming shade of red.
'You and your sister are really fuelling my ego Supergirl.'
'My sis- did you bug us?' Kara looked over at you.
'Maybe. I did a way better job than you guys.' You grinned.
'Wh- How?'
'I never give away my secrets.'
'Wait... when did you listen up to?' Kara had gone pale.
'Only one conversation, I'm not too fond of invading peoples privacy. Why? Say something I shouldn't hear Kara?' You smirked when she started stuttering an excuse of work and flying off.
—-
You flew up quickly and took a heaving breath before screaming your throat raw.
You stayed suspended for a moment, curling in on yourself slightly and trembling under the weight of your pain.
'Hey. Are you okay?' You heard her familiar voice, soft and reserved this time.
'No.' You sobbed.
'Can I hug you?' She floated slightly closer.
'Yes. Please.' You curled into the strong arms that entrapped you and felt the tension flow out of you in painful shivers and cries.
It took a long time for your breaths to even out and your body to stop crumbling under the weight of your emotions.
Kara never left.
'I- I have to go.' You gulped down the sob that almost comes out.
'Of course sorry.' You step out of her embrace.
'I would love to stay here but-'
'It's okay.' You shrug, but it causes another sharp tremor and you try to clench all your muscles to stop it.
'No it's not okay. But there's someone to save.' She whispered.
'I'll see you soon Kara.' You watch her fly away.
—-
'Hey Al. Can I call you Al? I feel like we've gotten to that point in our relationship.' You slur, walking clumsily to the agents side.
'(y/n) what-'
'Bad guy. Same bad guy every time. I may need some stitches.' You feel blood in your mouth.
You might welcome death, but not if it means he wins.
'Come on.' Someone, was it Alex? Dragged you through the DEO but you passed out after that.
You came to with someone snoring lightly next to you.
'You snore?' You croaked out.
Kara sat up immediately, eyes alert.
She grabbed you water and scoffed.
'I don't snore.'
'You do.' You said back, grinning when she huffed.
'Are you okay?' She asked.
'Yeah. Had worse injuries.' You shrugged.
'About that...' Alex said, having come into your room.
'What?'
'Your scars... they look...'
'I don't want to talk about them.'
'As your medical-'
'I don't want to talk about them. Please.' Your heart rate stuttered and the heart monitor caught you out.
You wondered which ones they were talking about.
The harsh, nasty ones you inflicted on yourself.
The ones he inflicted on you over the years.
Or the ones from that night, also inflicted by him.
'Okay. That's okay. How are you feeling?' Alex asked.
'Better than before that's for sure.'
'Good. We had to do surgery on your lung but besides from that you're fine.'
'Cool.'
'Do you have any family we can call to go over the recovery plan?' Alex continued.
'No.' You flinched at the question, and then again at the questioning glances afterwards.
'Can I just call my best friend and get him to pick me up?' You asked.
'Yes that's fine.' Alex said, her voice calculated.
'Awesome.'
You left with a heavy heart, a heavy lung and the knowledge that the Danvers sisters knew another dark part of you.
—-
'So, why did you need a new therapist?' Kelly Olsen sat across from you.
'My other one left.' You hadn't been yourself for the past few weeks. Layla, your last therapist, had to move elsewhere for her husbands work and you hadn't realised how heavily you relied on her to help you until she was gone.
'Okay. And how did that make you feel?' You already knew you would like Kelly, she seemed nice and caring.
'Our of control. I hated it.' You let out.
'Have you been processing these emotions or pushing them away?' She asked.
'Not really. I've been going to work but it's felt like a chore.' Your head ducks at her inquisitive expression.
'Okay. That's okay.' She sat back and before saying anything was cut off by her phone ringing.
'Sorry, this is highly unprofessional.' She muttered.
'It's fine you can take the call.'
'No I shoul-'
'It's fine. Promise.'
'Okay. Thank you.'
'Al. What's up I'm with a client right now?' She said quietly.
'Kara again?' She asked a few seconds later.
'Is she okay? Is she alive?'
A few more seconds.
'Okay hey she's okay you're okay. I'll be there as soon as I can but it might be a few hours darling.' She murmured into the phone.
Kara and Alex... that couldn't be a coincidence.
She hung up and sighed.
'Sorry about that now where-'
'Were you talking to Alex Danvers?' You blurt out.
'How did you know that?'
'I guessed.'
'Oh- well yeah she's my girlfriend actually.'
'Is Kara okay?' You ask, worry creeping it's way into your heart.
'You know Kara too?'
'Yeah. Is she okay?'
'Yep! She's fine.' Kelly smiled and you could tell it was fake.
'I just remembered I need to be somewhere so can we cut this session short?' You asked.
She had only just started nodding before you darted out and through the building, all the way to the exit.
You pressed the button tucked in your pocket and your suit materialised over yourself.
You flew fast through the air, only stopping when you landed at the DEO.
You sprinted through the building to where you remember you were taken when injured.
'Kara?' You whimpered when you saw her battered body on a white bed.
Alex looked up.
'What are you doing here?' She asked, defeated.
You didn't answer, quickly talking to your suit and producing the program you need.
You walked over to her frail body and started to work.
Alex scrambled up, asking what the hell you were doing, but you needed to focus.
You watched intently as wires and tools protruded from your suit's glove and performed the actions you thought about.
You worked efficiently, and in the 5 minutes you used, you had done the surgery Kara needed to survive.
'Who is her doctor?' You seethed.
'Umm... I can't remember.' Alex rubbed her hand over her face.
'Fire them. They didn't see she needed a coronary artery bypass. If you left her on this bed for a second longer without immediate care she would've died.' You demanded, blasting the sun lamps you have in your suit on Kara as well as the ones above her.
You placed your hands on her body and directed all of your power into her skin.
She woke up not 20 minutes later.
'What- what happened?' She muttered.
'You were taken down by an alien. Tough one. You almost died Kar.' Alex wrapped Kara's hands in hers and pressed.
'Thank doctor Hunt for me then.' Kara smiled lightly at Alex, still not noticing your presence.
'Thank (y/n) instead. She saved you.' Kara looks up at you for the first time and her blue eyes positively sparkle.
'Thank you.' She said quietly, holding eye contact.
You breathed out and looked at both of them.
'Right. Um.. I gotta go but I'm glad you're alright.' You mumbled, stepping out of the room and away before they could say another word.
Your heart beat erratically at the thought of you being attached to the two sisters and you flew off before you had a panic attack right there in the DEO.
—-
You didn't attach to anyone. No one. Not anymore. Everyone who you did, he found. And killed.
So when you found a bunch of roses extended by a meaty arm at your door, you startled.
'I want to take you out. And I think you want that too.' Kara says confidently.
You take in her soft blue eyes, her sharp features and gorgeous face, before the voice in the back of your mind spoke up.
'I can't.' You choke.
'Wh-why not?' Kara's smile dwindles down into nothing.
You don't reply.
'We always... meet in bad circumstances and- and I thought maybe... you felt the same way I-'
'Kara. Please go.' You whispered, your head down and your tears trying to worm there way through your closed eyelids.
'Okay.'
When you finally look up, she's gone.
—-
You sit, your eyes closed and your hands clenched.
The suit isn't on today. Won't be on ever again.
It was supposed to give you strength, but it failed.
It was supposed to push him away, so he didn't hurt you again, but he did.
You were so fucking done with it.
'Will you please just get it over with?' You tremble out, knowing, knowing, he would somehow be listening.
'I know I've tried to defeat you everytime, but I won't this time. I promise.' You sighed at the swoosh of air on your balcony and looked up at the mechanical footsteps coming towards you.
'You give up.' A robotic voice practically smirks at you through his tone.
'Yes.' You whisper, your breath leaving you as he strides over to you and grabs you by the neck.
His cool, metal hand grips the sides of your windpipe and he crashes your body into your bedroom wall, allowing him further pressure.
You close your eyes, accepting the fate you desperately detest.
You had promised your dead parents that night to never let him kill you, never let him complete the set that made your family. But promises don't matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore.
'You aren't hurting.' He pointed out.
'I- want this.' You got out between pointless breaths.
'I want you to hurt.' He snarled, and before you could even think about how, pain ricocheted from your leg.
'Mmhphh.' You groaned out gently, trying desperately not to give him more satisfaction.
'I knew one day I'd have the last one of you right here.' He grinned at you.
You grinned back.
'You... you didn't win. You'll- ghhm- I want this.' You saw him falter as he took it in.
'I don't care. The product will be finished and I'll have the perfect family tree.' He shoved at your neck harder and you yelped.
'Whatever.' You breathed, and before your vision went black, you thought you saw a streak of something...
—-
You woke up.
'How?' You whispered hoarsely.
How had you survived yet again? How had you not run again? How had he still got you trapped?
You opened your bleary eyes slowly and were greeted to an empty hospital room.
You closed them again, against the harsh light and harsh reality that you were still alive.
Some time later, two voices got closer and closer until you felt the presence of them in your room as they opened and closed the door.
You couldn't face opening your eyes so you kept them shut.
'What are we going to do?' Kara. Fuck, you hadn't seen her for ages.
Not after you rejected her.
'I'm not sure.' Alex.
'Its been 2 weeks Alex.' Kara said.
'I know.' Alex sighed.
'I should've checked up on her, I should've-'
'Hey.' You mumbled, opening your eyes cautiously and fluttering them closed for a second to block out the light.
'Holy rao you're awake.' Kara breathed.
'What- where is he?' You whispered, not knowing whether you wanted to know the answer.
'The guy trying to kill you? Dead. I... I killed him.' Kara looked down.
Your mind blanked.
You took a shuddering breath.
Another.
And sobbed.
You sobbed freely.
'Are you serious?' Was the words you laughed hysterically through the cries.
'Yeah. Were we... not supposed to?' Kara asked gently.
You laughed.
And then sobbed.
For an hour.
Alex and Kara both sort of stared at you at first, and then each took one of your hands, staying like that for the whole time.
'I'm sorry. That was just a lot.' You breathed out after it had finally stopped.
'Are you... upset?' Kara asked.
'No. Happy tears.' You whispered, chuckling.
'Who was that guy?' Alex asked.
'He- he killed my entire family.' You said, less joyous.
'Oh-'
'I was 15. And... he came into our house and murdered my mom, dad and brother in front of me. And I... just watched. And then ran. And he's been after me ever since.' You looked back up to see two grief ridden faces.
'My mom and dad died when I was 13.' Kara let out a minute after.
'I'm sorry. That's awful.' You squeezed Kara's hand and looked into blue eyes that shared your pain.
'My dad died when I was a teenager.' Alex said too.
'God we're all fucked.' You grinned when two choked laughs followed your statement.
'Yup.'
'Now that's out of the way, do you still want to go on that date?' You murmured to Kara, tapping on her hand.
'Really?' She perked up.
'Really really.' You grinned freely as she nodded and proceeded to fist bump Alex in front of you.
Hey! I am actually alive. Sorry I haven't updated in a while and this story is very random but it's been in my drafts for ages. I will try to start uploading again! Love you all