Vee Vivis
Yes, I'm still alive. How can I not be alive?
I listened to Mark crying while silently standing at the opposite side of the curtain that separates his bed from the others. His cries sounded so painful that I wanted to tear away the thin piece of cloth that prevents him from seeing me. But the two women inside strongly insisted me to hide until they can give a signal for me to finally show myself up to Mark.
I had been unscathed from the very beginning. There's only some soreness in some part of my body after I have wrestled myself with that woman who was far more stronger than I am. It turns out the woman herself was a retired weight lifter. No wonder she can easily knock out a man's senses if she wishes too. It was too damn scary and I was glad the authorities came before something worst can happen. The gun shot heard was a warning shot from the police. Mark passed out after getting hit from the head so he might confused the events that happened after that.
I was also the one who carried him to the hospital after calling Pran, alerting our friends what had happened. Kana was fuming but he was subdued by the other two. He still needs to go with me to give my statements to the police. We left Mark to Jane as he was already stable and being tended to by the medical staffs in the emergency room.
Seeing how restless I was, Kana made me return to the hospital right after I have finished given my statements. I left Pran with him trusting the other guy to calm Kana down as he talk with his fan that had caused all this trouble.
I was surprised to see Mark's ex-girlfriend, Saya hanging out with Jane in the waiting room while Mark's wounds was being stitched by a doctor. She appeared to be as beautiful and intimidating like the last time I had seen her but she had greeted me differently unlike before. She was more subtle and a whole lot friendlier compared to her old self.
Jane was also a little uncomfortable with her around and sighed in relief when I came back. She once expressed her dislike for Mark's ex-girlfriend saying she could never make herself accept the girl. But after seeing the sadness and sincerity to the other girl's eyes, Jane became more relaxed and tried to listen to Saya's explanations. She also told us that she came right away after hearing the news from Kana. It's a good thing she's already in Tokyo and has access to a private plane. One of her many perks for being a top grade idol.
We talked for a bit while Mark was unconscious. She told me she was sorry for what she had done to me and Mark before. It was her selfishness and obsession for Mark that made her that despicable. She was regretful of her actions after seeing Mark suffer and became an empty shell after the two of us broke up. She told me how Mark was when he came back to Japan. Even if she and Kana wasn't there most of the time, they were fully aware as to what Mark had become. He became more detached from those people who truly cared for him, drowned himself in alcohol every night and played loosely with some random girls just for fun. Saya had expressed how worried they were for him. This things were all contrary to what Mark had said to me. He told me he was doing better without me. And Saya just said the total opposite.
After Saya had finished telling us her story, I told them how my attempt to win Mark back had gone down to the bin. The two girls who appeared to be much closer to one another now can't believe what I had told them. They strongly believe that Mark's feelings for me never diminished for one tiny bit.
This whole set up in deceiving Mark was schemed by the two vicious women who didn't stop to convinced me to go along with their wicked plan until I finally agreed. They believe that the act would show us Mark's true feelings when stimulated by the unknown. Well they were careful in choosing the words they said to him. They didn't straightly told him about me dying. They simply refused to answer when Mark started to question them about my whereabouts. So technically, they never lied to him.
When Mark started to go berserk from the lack of information from the two, I secretly become happier. If he was crying like that because of me, could it only mean that he still cares for me deeply? Can I call it love? Or was it just a guilty feeling thinking I sacrificed myself to save him?
"Mark, we are really sorry. Sorry Mark." I heard Jane's soothing voice comforting her friend from the other side of the curtain. Mark just cried even harder. I'm afraid he'd get the attention of the other patients' in the emergency room as well. The set up made it sound like somebody had really died while the bereaved mourned for their lost.
"What the hell are you standing out here for? Is that Mark crying? Why is he crying like that?" Kana suddenly appeared at my back making me jump in surprise. Beside him was Pran who looked as bewildered as him seeing me all suspicious. The curtain was then drawn to the side by Kana revealing us three to the other three inside.
"Ah!" Jane gasped from the sudden intrusion.
"Ugh!" Saya groaned in displeasure frowning over Kana.
"..." Mark was speechless but his eyes widened upon seeing me standing together with Pran and Kana, very much alive.
"What? Why are you three looking like that? It's as if we intrude to something vulgar." Kana glide inside while continuing to scowl over the two girls. The two let go from hugging Mark and averted their eyes in opposite direction avoiding Kana. Mark wiped away his tears looking so confused.
"Why is this guy crying like this? His face is a mess! Saya! Explain yourself!" Kana walked over to Mark examing his face. Then he checked on the wound at the back of Mark's head that was now neatly wrapped in a clean gauze.
"What's wrong Mark? Is your wound hurting that much for you to cry like this? Did Saya do anything to you?" Kana cooed on Mark treating him like a baby as he brushed his fingers on his cheeks. I can't help myself from coughing out my distaste for his actions. Why can't he keep his hands off of my boy? Damn it!
"Someone's about to hit you with the IV stand Kan and you are still thinking ill about me? Why don't you remove your hands off Mark's face first." Saya rolled her pretty eyes after spatting on Kana. She then faced Mark looking all apologetic.
"We said we're sorry Mark. Well this is what we are sorry about. Sorry? Again?." She bat her eyes down at Mark giving him her timid smile. Jane stood beside her and did the same. The two girls are now clearing their actions of deceit and I can't be not worried about myself. What would Mark feel about me?
"You...you. How could you joke like that to me?" Mark spoke out on a husky voice frowning to the two girls hovering above him.
"Sorry Mark. We don't have ill intentions of any kind. We just wanted you to...."
"Do you even know how bad I feel? And you!" Mark pointed his index finger on me making me falter from the intensity of his gaze. "Are you into this?" He continued asking.
"I...well...a bit of it.. Mark I'm sor..."
"Fuck you! How could you do this to me? Who do you think you are to do this kind of stuff to me? And you still have that face to show to me? Do you have no shame?" Mark bellowed in anger. His tears started to stream down his face again as he glared at me. His friends have to hold him down to prevent him from attacking.
"Mark calm down. It isn't Vee's fault. It was me who dragged him down to do this with Jane and me." Saya claimed all the blame to herself just to divert Mark's attention. But the latter did not even spared a glance at her ex-girlfriend and instead, glowered at me even more. His whole chest was heaving as he gasped for air.
Somehow I know this was coming. Who would not get mad after being tricked like that? How can I be this insensitive knowing a similar tragedy had once agonized him? And for Mark to get more angry with me even if Saya had already told him the truth, he must really loathed me that bad. Again, I get ahead of myself from thinking he still cared for me.
"What did you guys do?" Pran asked but was also glaring at me. Jane and Saya told them everything and I slowly back away. Kana also turned to give me a disgusting look. Yes. All of it was blamed into me.
"I...I'm sorry. It was my fault. I should have know better. I'm sorry." My voice trembled as I stared down at my feet. If Kana and Pran started punching me, I won't be able to defend myself. I was too weak to even move a muscle. My heart is breaking from Mark's reaction. I need to get myself out of here before I start crying.
"Vee! It isn't your fault. You guys, have you heard what I just said? Don't treat him like that." Saya pleaded trying to defend me.
"Well he should have known better to stop you two. Isn't he who knows Mark more to be doing this kind of prank?" Kana said ignoring Saya's pleas.
"Yes. So stupid of me. I'm sorry again." I tried smiling but what must have appeared on my face was an ugly and awkward expression making Mark close his eyes.
"What are you still standing there for?" Kana raised an eyebrow when he asked.
"Errr...I guess I should go now. I need to pack my things up. It's already 3 in the morning. My flight back to Bangkok is in 10. This is goodbye then. Errr..Thanks." I wave my hand awkwardly to Mark and his friends and stepped out of the curtain. I walked as fast as I can to get away from the scene ignoring the calls for my name. I wasn't even sure who called out for me. For a moment I thought it was Mark's voice. But then I remembered how much he hated me. It was impossible for him to call me back. It was another one of my hallucinations and it really needs to stop.
My tears started falling down my eyes once I get out of the hospital. It was a good thing that I was able to hold them back when I was still in front of Mark and his friends. I would look like an idiot if they see me in tears.
I want to get out of this country as soon as possible. I don't wanna be here anymore. It's not like I care about anything and anyone anymore. It's not like Mark cared for me anymore.
When I get into the hotel, I hurriedly packed my things blindly stuffing everything inside my trolley that the inside was close to looking like trash. When I can't close the zipper because of how untidy I did with my packing, I simply fished out the winter clothes I have bought and tossed it the garbage. I won't be needing them anyway. What purpose will they serve me when I can no longer return here in Sapporo in the future?
I then took a shower and cried myself out under the cold running water. I did not even bother to use the heater and just endured the freezing water that hits my body. My body became numb because of the pain inside my heart. I can't feel anything else but that pain. So the cold never bothered me just this once.
When I was done with crying, I dried myself before throwing my exhausted body on the bed. Pran might spend the rest of the night at the hospital with everybody else. So I have the whole room for myself. But I was too tired to even enjoy the few remaining hours I have left here in Sapporo. I can only close my eyes and travel to dreamland. Before dozing off to sleep, I silently prayed that I can dream a pleasant one with Mark on it. The heavens can't be that cruel to deny me with this simple wish right?
I don't know how long I have slept but I was awoken by the sound of the door opening and closing. Pran must have returned from the hospital. He didn't bother to switch on the lights so I assumed I can sleep again.
My consciousness was about to slip once again when it was pulled back by a sudden weight exerted down on my bed. And before I can turn around to ask Pran what he was up to, a figure laid down beside me and wrapped its arms around my body. I was too taken aback that I almost sat up from the bed if not for the strenght exerted by those arms that hugged me more tightly from my back.
"Don't move too much P. It's me."
It was Mark's voice that I heard instead of Pran's. I can't be dreaming right? I can feel the strength of his hands pressing themselves around my waist that it almost suffocates me. His breathing was warm on my back as he presses his face on the thin fabric of my sweater. My hands trembled as I put them over his. They were cold as if they have came straight from the snowy night outside. I applied friction by rubbing my palms on them. Mark moaned at my back and inhaled deeply smelling my scent.
"P Vee. P. Why did you leave me?" His small voice rings in my ears sending a warm feeling inside my heart.
"Mark."
"I was so scared. So scared that you...that you..." His words almost disappeared and he couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence. "Ugh. P Vee! I thought you really died! It was awful. The feeling was so awful! P!" He moved his body to bring it more closer to mine. His one leg also wrapped itself on me and his whole body shook as he started sobbing.
"Mark." I still can't bring myself to say anything but utter his name. I was too afraid to say anything because I don't want to scare Mark with my words, like the way I scared him away when I told him about my feelings. I can never make the same mistakes.
I let him cry behind me until my sweater was soaked with his tears. I just continue to rub my hands above his while he was clinging to me with no intentions of letting go.
"Mine. You are mine P. You can't die without my permission. You are not going anywhere either. Not without me. Not ever again." I was surprised when he had said this more clearly and direct after his sobbing had stopped for quite some time.
Did I hear him right this time? Was he really claiming me as his own? I didn't misunderstood right?
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We are almost there. I hope you guys like this story. Thanks for staying.😉
That ride my elephant joke! Can't get enough of it! War's getting so brave with his jokes.😂🐘