TW: SWEARING, YELLING, VIOLENCE, MANIPULATION, PSYCHOLOGICAL AND PHYSICAL TORTURE, BLOOD, GASLIGHTING
So in this chapter, we have some more physical torture. I'll put lines around it like in the past two chapters if you want to skip <3
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~~~~ Tommy's P.O.V ~~~~
I pace my bedroom with hurried, agitated steps. I huff and run my hands through my hair as the snow outside pelts down on the house. Fundy, Quackity and Tubbo had been snowed in at L'Manburg and wouldn't be back for a while. If I needed someone right now it was Big Q and Tubbo. I needed to loosen up, I needed to laugh. But every time I did I felt guilty.
The time I spent messing around could be spent looking for Y/N. Dream has made no fucking progress since he became a spy. He keeps saying "the time will come" or some other bullshit like that. I don't believe him for a second. Winter is at its thickest, in a few weeks it won't be. It's made looking for Y/N next to impossible but we can't stop. What if we stopped whilst the snow was bad and she died? It would be our fault. It would be Dream's fault.
I heard from Fundy that Dream's boss, that Seth guy, was gaining more influence. I don't understand why Tubbo didn't just kick him out straight away. Dream doesn't even bloody talk to the man, he just sits around with Gogy all day in the castle.
Dream has done nothing but sit around and tend to his precious George. I clench my fists and plonk down on my bed. George is the King, he runs the SMP, so why is Dream still running everything behind the scenes. It didn't make any fucking sense. Gorge has barely done anything! He's done so little as King, that he got bored and went off and built a fucking summer house.
I sit and watch the snowfall through my bedroom window. What if Y/N is out there in the snow? Is she even alive? Tears threaten to fall but I shove them away. Big men don't cry. I hastily stand and cross the room to a chest I had shoved into the corner. I force it open and rifle through its contents until I find what I'm looking for. I hold the object in my hand. I don't stop to come up with a plan.
I clench the object tightly in my hand and watch the world outside my window. My patience waned but finally, the snow stopped falling. I don't hesitate, the thoughts in my mind didn't falter. My conviction refused to waver. I stand up straighter and head down the hallway.
I go downstairs looking for Niki. I check the living room and see Niki napping on the couch. I turn to leave but stop for a moment. I feel a pang of sympathy and groan. Father always told me I had to look after women, and other guys of course, but gentlemanly things mostly applied to helping women. Well, the ones I remembered anyway.
I sigh and get a blanket from a chest in the corner. I throw it over her and shove another log into the dying fireplace hoping it will stay alive until I get back. I don't want Niki to be in a cold lonely house when she woke up. I head to the front door and pull on my snow boots and red and white snow jacket. I cast one last glance behind me before opening the door and stepping out onto the verandah.
I round the corner and see Spots sitting quietly in his stall. We usually only take Percy out because of his size and thick coat. Snow posed no problem for him but I needed speed today. The snow wasn't too deep, and Spots was much faster than Percy. I get a thick blanket and saddle him quickly. Spots can sense my anxiousness and I have trouble keeping him still. I eventually lead him out and hop into his back. I kick him into a run and ride into the forest of giant twigs but don't head to L'Manburg, or my base. I hit the edge of our section of the forest and then go left towards the nether portal. I don't know exactly where my destination is, but I'd heard enough from the others to know the general direction.
I eventually find it, a small house built into the sit of a small mound that you could barely call a hill. I tie Spots to an evergreen tree where he would be sheltered from snow. I take it in. It was certainly small and quaint. I walk close and stand in front of the small bridge that leads over a frozen pond and stare at the house.
All it did was anger me, this was going to feel good.
I dig my hand into my pocket and pull out the flint and steel.
~~~~ Y/N's P.O.V ~~~~
Schlatt fiddles with something on the desk. A new vial. It was a different colour than the other two serums, Schlatt handled it differently too. He tossed the other ones about in his hands and dropped them on the floor or put them in random places around the room when he went on his tangents.
This time it was different. He had a small padded box where he kept the black liquid. He continuously checked on it even though nothing would have changed in the few minutes between each check. I instinctively look to Ranboo's corner, my heart falls a little when I see he's not there. He stopped coming a while ago, instead, he waits for me to come back to my room.
I don't pass out from the serums anymore and I don't feel so sick anymore. I've been eating more, my ribs didn't stick out as much as they did last week. Whenever I went back to my room, Ranboo would be there waiting with food for me. We'd practise Enderian and English and talk whilst I ate. I remember asking Ranboo why he never ate with me and he said because Ederians don't need to eat as much. They also only eat certain foods so Ranboo often opted out of regular meals because they upset his stomach.
"Right, Y/N, how much did you and Wilbur use to argue?"
I'm snapped from my thoughts by the question. I look away from the corner by the fireplace and back at Schlatt. I hated when he mentioned Wilbur, he was always so awful to me. It wasn't something I liked remembering.
"Yes, a lot," I say honestly.
"Damn, sucks, did Tommy ever help you out?" Schlatt said and sat on his chair at my side. I look down at him confused.
"Yes of course," I say, my conviction was already starting to waver.
"But wasn't he always too preoccupied with Wilbur to stay with you? You needed comfort and he always chose Wilbur, didn't he?" Schlatt said firmly.
"No that's not tr-"
"Wasn't it Tommy's idea to remain loyal to Wilbur? Even when the two of you knew his brain was turning even more fucking loopy and sick than it already was? Tommy knew full well what Wilbur was planning, you did too," Schlatt rocked forward on his chair.
I stayed quiet. Schlatt was right, we knew he was becoming more and more unstable but we stuck with him anyway. Tommy spoke before I could, he said we'd stay. Did I ever agree to that? I can't remember...
"Remember when you got into a fight with Wilbur in Pogtopia about Technoblade being the traitor? Tommy stepped in right? But when Wilbur stormed off Tommy followed him. He left you alone and you had nobody in Pogtopia with you. You cried alone for hours until they came back and you sucked it up and went to work in the potato farm," I remember the incident clearly. But something didn't add up.
"How did you-"
"Tubbo told me, doesn't matter, as I was saying-"
"Tubbo told you?" I ask. Schlatt paused. Tubbo told Schlatt about Pogtopia. Why would he do that? Tubbo was our spy, not the other way around. Why would Tubbo say anything? As my confusion and an aching in my chest grew. I struggled for words. Tubbo told Schlatt. Was Tubbo a traitor too? Were they all traitors? Was I the only one who ever cared about L'Manburg? About our family?
"Yes, he told me," Schlatt said slowly. My vision was glazed with tears, I looked back up at Schlatt in disbelief. How could he? Tubbo... He was my best friend. Schlatt went to his desk and checked the vial again. He inspected in and then opened a drawer. He pulled a shiny silver knife out from it.
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"Were any of your friends really your friends Y/N?"
"Yes," I say instinctively. Schlatt sighs and walks over to my side. He presses the flat side of the knife to my skin.
"Let me try again, were any of your friends trustworthy?"
"Yes," I hesitate. Schlatt presses the knife down and slices quickly. I let out a squeak of pain and look away from my right arm. I didn't want to see the blood. I could feel the adrenaline pumping as my fight or flight response kicked in. Blood pumped harder around my body, rushing to the open gash in an attempt to heal it.
It was bleeding a lot, I felt drops of blood slowly drip down my arm. Schlatt circled my chair like a shark hunting its prey and crouched in my vision. I looked into his brown eyes, they were empty, devoid of emotion, heartless. The gash on my arm stung and forced more tears from my eyes, I watched them drip onto the floor by Schlatt's feet.
Schlatt pressed the flat side of the blade to my left arm.
"Were your friends actually your friends?" He asked imminently. I squeeze my eyes shut and steel myself for the blow.
"Yes," I whisper. My whisper turns into a cry when Schlatt drags the knife slowly through my flesh. He stands from the floor and I start to sob.
He presses the knife to my upper arm. He doesn't need to ask the question again.
"N-no, please no," I plead. He slices the blade deep into my skin. I cry out again with the pain. I can't see through my tears.
"Were your friends really-"
"I DON'T KNOW!" I scream at the top of my lungs and break down crying again. I hear Schlatt sigh and open a drawer in the desk. He sits in the chair on my right and presses gauze to my wound. I hiss at the impact.
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"Why are you so defensive all the time? I'm just trying to show you the truth Y/N," he wraps a bandage around the gauze securing it in place. He moves to my other side and does the same with my other cuts.
I let the tears fall freely. I don't even care when Schlatt injects me with the red and purple serums. Then he loads the black serum, I watch wearily but am too exhausted to give a shit.
"This one will hurt a lot Y/N, but it will stop you from being so fucking sensitive all the time. Jesus, you're such a baby. I'm going to make you less of a burden to everyone, alright?" I nod not knowing how else to respond.
Schlatt drives the needle into my shoulder and injects the serum. The voices roar so loud they block out every other noise in the room. I howl in pain as my body feels like every muscle s being torn apart and then put back together before being torn apart again. The pain is too much and my body is so exhausted. I let sleep take me.
****
I wake up again in my bed. I don't open my eyes straight away but instead, do a mental body scan. Something tightly squeezes various parts of my arms. Bandages? I take in a deep breath to wake up my system a little bit. My body tenses and then relaxes into the breath. The smell of laundry soap and books fills my nose, I'm definitely in my room.
I don't want to get up, my whole body aches. I feel my pulse throb through my body, it echoes in my ears. I press my face into my pillow a little bit trying to ignore the world. Knowing that I can't stay in this little slice of heaven forever, I force myself to move.
I roll and stretch but notice a strange weight by my feet. I peel open my eyes and look down at the sheets. Ranboo sits worriedly at the foot of my bed. I see his eyes light up with relief when I wake up. I smile faintly back hoping to reassure him I'm alright. I wince feeling the cuts on my arms but then frown when I realise I have no recollection of getting them. It must have been Schlatt.
I groan and try to sit up but Ranboo is quick to put his hands on my shoulders and lay me back down again. He points a finger at me as if telling me to stay put and then goes to the desk and gets the Ederian book.
"⍙⊑⏃⏁ ⊑⏃⌿⌿⟒⋏⟒⎅ ⏁⍜ ⊬⍜⎍?" he asks in Ederian. I understand his questions easily. After all the practice we've done I can understand most of what he says now. I'm just really bad at speaking the language. The book is still pretty hand though.
"There was a new serum, it was black and it was strong. I passed out immediately. How long have I been asleep?" I ask and prop myself up on my elbows. I wince when I move and wave Ranboo off when he tries to get me to lay down again.
"⟟ ⎅⍜⋏'⏁ ☍⋏⍜⍙, ⏃ ⎎⟒⍙ ⊑⍜⎍⍀⌇?" I groan and flop back down. If I've been asleep for hours why do I feel like I need more? I stare at the patterns on the coffered ceiling. If I was a prisoner, this must be the most beautiful prison on the planet. I didn't understand. Why was I treated like such royalty outside of Schlatt's chats? But then when I saw other people, I was treated like the ground they walked on.
That's when I notice the quiet. No birds chirp, no fire crackles no happy chatter. Sounds that I remember, sounds that I miss. I'll put the fire on later and warm up the room before the night gets cold. It's a very still quiet. Too quiet. That's when it hits me.
"Ranboo! The voices are gone!" I sit up quickly. I groan feeling a headache coming on from the sudden movement. Ranboo looks at me perplexed and grabs a pillow from the other side of the bed. He puts it behind my back and I lean back into it gratefully.
"⏁⊑⏃⋏☍⌇," I say in Ederian making Ranboo smile a little.
"⍙⊑⏃⏁ ⎅⍜ ⊬⍜⎍ ⋔⟒⏃⋏ ⏁⊑⟒⊬'⍀⟒ ☌⍜⋏⟒?" he asks.
We're not gone.
"Who said that?" My eyes widen and I look around the room. There's nobody but us here. Ranboo's expression is twisted with bewilderment. I've lost him now, and probably my mind too.
I hear more voices start chuckling in the room. They whisper things to each other. I'm definitely going mad. The voices aren't coherent. Was there another person in here? Behind the walls? In the mirror? I quickly glance at the mirror beside the bed. Nobody there. I look at Ranboo who looks more concerned than ever.
"Who's speaking?" I ask the air.
We are.
"⊬⍜⎍ ☌⍜⍜⎅?" Ranboo asks. I nod.
"It's the voices, I can hear them, they're not gone. But I can understand them too," I say confused about the issue myself.
"⊑⍜⍙?"
"I have no idea," I try to listen to them again. They continue to giggle with each other and make snarky conversations. They were like the middle school popular girls, totally awful. I remember how much I longed to be friends with those girls in my village. Why was the memory so fresh? That was years ago.
I'd be careful what you think about us, we can hear you.
"Will I always be able to hear you now?" My curiosity was beginning to peak. I suddenly had a million questions for the new voices. Or were they the old ones but I could just hear them clearly now?
Yes, you will always be able to hear us. And yes we've always been the same.
It sounded like there were two people talking rather than one. The voices were distorted at all like before. It just sounded like they were always whispering, constantly telling secrets.
"Do you listen to everything? Can you see through my eyes?"
Yes.
"Will you be around all the time like before?"
No, before we were trapped by the small space of your mind. Now that it's been opened, we are free to come and go as we please. But we'll always be with you.
Different voices seem to take turns speaking but also speak at the same time. Each voice spoke a different sentence. It wasn't like one singular voice in my head, but many collective voices. The feeling was bizarre and ethereal. But more than anything, it felt good, it felt right.
"Why can I hear you now? Why now? Why not earlier?" I ask them aloud. Ranboo watches me intensely, no doubt trying to work out what they're saying. At least he wasn't watching me like I was mad.
You're finally worthy.
"What does that mean?"
You'll see soon enough.
Then there was silence.
"They're gone," I say. For the first time, the lack of voices in my mind left me feeling a little lonely. They were much more enjoyable now that I could understand them and they didn't give me headaches.
"⎅⍜ ⊬⍜⎍ ⍀⟒⋔⟒⋔⏚⟒⍀ ⍙⊑⏃⏁ ⊑⏃⌿⌿⟒⋏⟒⎅ ⍙⟟⏁⊑ ⌇☊⊑⌰⏃⏁⏁?" Ranboo asks. I frown trying to direct the sentence. Ranboo quickly grabs the book and points out what he asked me.
"No, I don't remember. I never do Ranboo," I look down at the bandages on my arms. I had no idea where they came from or what the wounds were like underneath.
I felt useless. One of the worst feelings. The feeling of not being needed, of not being capable enough to just fucking remember something that didn't even happen that long ago. I touch the bandage on my right arm and feel tears prick behind my eyes. God, why am I so sensitive all the time? Suck it up Y/N, you're fine. You're fine, you have to be fine. Don't let anybody see you cry, especially not Ranboo. Don't be a burden.
But I'm not fine.
"Fuck," I curse quietly and sniffle. I rest my head on the pillow behind me and stare at the ceiling. I feel Ranboo scoot across the bed and sit beside me. He wraps a comforting arm around my shoulders and I rest my head on his shoulder.
Ranboo really was my best friend. He was my only friend, none of the others cared about me. They never stayed and comforted me when I cried. Niki was there for me, there was no doubt about it. But she was hurt too, always trying to hide. I thought Techno was my brother. I thought Tommy and Tubbo were my best friends and my family. I thought Dream could love me back, and George and Sapnap were awesome fun guys who loved hanging with me as much as I loved being with them.
None of that was true. I didn't have any of them with me. It was just Ranboo and me now, and that suited me just fine.
"None of my friends really cared about me Ranboo, I see that now," I stammer through my words.
"⏁⊑⏃⏁'⌇ ⋏⍜⏁ ⏁⍀⎍⟒, ⊬⍜⎍ ⌇⏃⟟⎅ ⏁⊑⟒⊬ ⍙⟒⍀⟒ ⌰⟟☍⟒ ⊬⍜⎍⍀ ⎎⏃⋔⟟⌰⊬," I frowned at Ranboo sentence, not really understanding. I did understand enough of it though to respond.
"I thought they were my family too, but if they were my family, wouldn't they have busted me out of here by now? They all followed Wilbur, now he's dead, they've only got Tubbo and Tommy to lead them. Wouldn't they have noticed when the whither hit me? Does anybody even care that I'm missing? I've been here for months Ranboo, they're not coming," my voice thickens at the end and I let out another sob. I feel Ranboo's arm tighten a little in a comforting manner.
"⟒⎐⟒⋏ ⟟⎎ ⏁⊑⟒⊬ ⎅⍜⋏'⏁ ☊⏃⍀⟒ ⏃⏚⍜⎍⏁ ⊬⍜⎍, ⌿⌰⟒⏃⌇⟒ ☍⋏⍜⍙ ⏁⊑⏃⏁ ⟟ ⎅⍜, ⊬⍜⎍'⍀⟒ ⋔⊬ ⏚⟒⌇⏁ ⎎⍀⟟⟒⋏⎅ ⊬/⋏," I smile understanding his sentence.
"You're my best friend too, Ranboo."
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HELOOOOOOOOOOOOO
A bit of a shorter one for you guys today. I was lacking inspiration for this one since I just wanted to move the plot along a bit. I'm thinking of adding in a special chapter for Fundy all about his perspective on Wilbur's death and the appearance of Ghostbur (which will be coming up soon:) ).
I also got a request for a chapter a little while ago that I'm super excited about. And it's given me some inspiration... Comment anything that you would like to see me add for the sequel and who knows maybe you'll see it featured somewhere <3
Like always, I want to remind you guys that I don't really edit. I skim and rely heavily on my Grammarly extension to catch all my errors. I appreciate any comments pointing out errors that really confuse you guys.
There will be a lot more Ender speak content so all translations will be in the comments, I'll be sure to put them in when I publish chapters. Of course, there will be times when I don't put in translations. This is VERY VERY VERY PURPOSEFUL. Y'all are learning how to speak Ender with Ranboo so in spots where I want you to feel a little bit more of a part of the story I'll leave translations out. I think it will help you guys feel like you're actually there, this is meant to be an immersive style of writing.
I HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE AN AWESOME MORNING/DAY/EVENING/NIGHT <3<3<3<3<3
YOU'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE <33333