Trying to hide her breathlessness, Selene made a curtsy, sign of thanks to her friend.
" -So dear audience, what do you think? "
Lilas remained speechless. She would have liked to tell her that she was perfect and incredible, as always, but she knew that Selene would not believe her. So she racked her brains and tried to think of something to say.
"I have nothing to say about the steps and your technique, after all I'm not a ballerina.
-But still?
-Well, the only negative point I have to point out...is your emotions.
-How so?"
Selene tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and sat down next to her friend, gently removing her bluish tips.
"When you dance, what exactly do you think about?
-Everything and nothing. The desire to succeed, the fear of failing without doubt?
-That's the problem. You are not the character you are playing. You are focused on your technique, but you are not 100% involved in your dance.
-Oh you think...?"
Lilas gesticulated in all directions, as if she had said something hurtful:
"-Well, maybe I'm wrong! After all, who am I to judge haha...surely not your teacher and even less a ballerina."
The little swan patted her gently on the back, a sign not to panic:
" -The best thing is to have outside help, so thank you to you, sincerely."
But deep down she was thinking. To involve herself emotionally? With all the doubts that gnawed at her, all her parasitic thoughts that made her anxious about her future as a dancer...
It was late, they had to go to bed. But impossible for Selene to find Morpheus. During a good part of the night, she contented herself with reworking her steps in silence, imagining them, repeating them tirelessly, murmuring each step, each beat. She linked video after video, extracts of ballet after extracts.
She was destroying her nights but she prioritized the dance more than anything else, the rest didn't matter.
The alarm clock was difficult, she had slept only three small hours, with the great displeasure of her roommate:
"You are going to be exhausted Selene, seriously one day you are going to finish badly...
-Don't worry Lilas, I've got it all planned...
-By the way, weren't you supposed to find a summer job to compensate ?
-I gave up, it would have taken me too much time on the one dedicated to my trainings."
Lilas was speechless. Her friend was irresponsible. When was she going to realize her monumental stupidity?
"-I can't help you at the orphanage today, I have a training session that will end late.
-Very well ma'am, very well...You give Diana my regards!
-I won't miss it!"
They had spent the morning in their room despite the beautiful weather ahead.
Selene prepared herself thoroughly as she did every day. She had put on her favorite dress, a sky blue dress that Diana had given her for her 16th birthday. She loved it because of its lightness and color. She put on a white pearl bracelet and put on her blue heels.
While some lived life in pink, Selene lived it in blue.
She carefully combed her long golden hair and tied part of it in a bun and braided two strands on each side of her ears. She left the rest of her hair in the air, and to finish, she applied a peach lip balm. This natural air was what made her charm.
As a final touch, she added her silver moon earrings. Because yes, one of the supervisors of the orphanage had offered them to her because Selene reminded her of the Goddess of the Moon, Selene.
At two o'clock sharp, she said goodbye to her friend and went to the city's Opera House, where her training was taking place.
Like the day before, the streets were crowded and busy. She didn't mind, she liked to be surrounded and to feel all this positivity that she hadn't had for a while now.
"-Selene!!!"
Selene turned her head and saw Diana, one of her most loyal friends with Lilas.
"-Hello Diana! Lilas says hello to you!
-You'll say hello to her too, thanks to her!"
Diana was not an orphan unlike her two friends. In fact she came from a rich family of dressmakers. Indeed, she was one of the heiresses of the most prestigious fashion house the world has ever known. In addition to being a dancer herself, she had a gift for sewing and styling.
"-Lilas told me all about your troubles with Swan Lake."
They both walked to their destination, with a quiet and cheerful step. Selene looked up at the sky. For a moment she had forgotten about the existence of cell phones and texting. She used hers very little.
"My troubles? But everything is fine at last. She's being dramatic as usual."
Diana looked at her in a corner, not very credulous:
"-If you say so. But you're still too involved in the dance. Breathe, get out, I don't know, think of something else?
-Diana, don't worry, everything is fine...
-Very well, madam."
They continued walking in silence for several minutes.
"You know that if you get the lead role, you will dance with a partner?"
Selene blushed and stiffened, while her friend giggled, proud of her teasing.
"Don't worry, it's easy!
-Ha ha ha, of course...I would be mostly embarrassed.
-You know what your problem is? You're too uptight my Selene. Find yourself a man."
Selene gave her a friendly peck on the cheek.
"Very funny, Diana.
-Weren't you the one who dreamed of marrying a prince?
-We were 5 years old, Prince Charming doesn't exist.
-Certainly, certainly."
And they discussed in a humorous tone about boys and love. Selene knew that Diana had feelings for someone, but she didn't know who exactly. She didn't care, friends were enough for her. Actually she imagined herself in love... She would probably be a disaster in that area.
They finally arrived at their destination. Diana had other friends to meet, who were not Selene's friends, so Selene rushed to her locker directly.
She took care to comb her hair and prepare herself perfectly. What else would her teacher say?
She was the first one ready, as always. She then went to the dance room, where all the trainings took place. She started to stretch slowly and elegantly.
She was cut in her momentum by two hand claps. Madame Leonidova had arrived.
The Professor, Madame Leonidova was a former star ballerina in Russia. She had been a leading lady in many ballets. There was no better teacher than her. Selene felt proud and indebted to be part of her classes. There was no room for novices, she told herself.
Leonidova was an old lady, very strict. Everything had to be straight and perfect. There were no flaws when you looked at her: gray hair in a perfect bun, almost perfect complexion without imperfections if you ignored the wrinkles. Her dance outfit only highlighted her very slim waist.
She always had that penetrating and almost malevolent look. But it was enough just to know her to understand that she was absolutely not bad. Just strict.
Each of the little rats, as the ballerinas were called, greeted Leonidova. In return she smiled at them.
"Well, as you know, the casting for our next performance of Swan Lake is coming up. No audition this time, I'll just observe each of you to see what you are worth."
They all looked at each other, scared, confident, worried. Selene did not take her eyes off the ground.
"-Each one will pass before me. I leave you free to choose which passage you wish to dance to."
She clapped her hands a second time, a sign of the beginning.
Selene watched the dancers pass by one by one. Her anxiety grew more and more, each one was gifted. The critics were rather positive even if Leonidova took over some of them.
When it was Diana's turn, Selene did not leave her eyes. She too was very talented and charming. She envied her for being so good, even though Diana had told her over and over again that Selene was the best.
Then it was Rose's turn.
Rose Miller was a brilliant dancer herself, and a very close friend of Diana's. Selene wondered if the two of them were more than just friends...
The problem was that Selene didn't understand Rose's behavior towards her at all.
It was simple: Rose kept criticizing the Little Swan. Was it jealousy? Or just gratuitous spite. She didn't know, she had no idea what she could have done to Rose to make her despise her with passion.
She had heard that she kept putting Selene down to make herself feel better. She also thought that she was too simple, too uptight and that her absolute kindness was necessarily hiding something bad. But she didn't care about that.
" -Selene, your turn."
The ballerina came to her senses. She had not paid attention that Rose had already finished.
She stood up, trembling, mentally repeating to herself that everything was going to go well and that everything would be perfect.
"-What passage would you suggest?
-I would like the Variation of Odile, the first madam."
Her teacher arched an eyebrow.
" -Are you sure you'll be able to show yourself as Odile?
-Madame, the lead must be able to interpret Odette and Odile.
-That's true. So be it, since you are so sure of yourself."
She was terrified.
Leonidova made a sign to the pianist and the latter began to play. And Selene was gone. During her performance, multiple thoughts echoed in her head.
"You will fail."
"You are not made for this role, you are too bad."
" Stop now, you will waste less time "
She kept spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning.
"-Ow!"
On the ground, she stopped. Spinning and spinning, she sprained her ankle.
"-That's enough."
Leonidova approached her with a displeased look.
"You weren't concentrating at all, Selene.
-I'm sorry, my mind was elsewhere, Madam..."
She clapped her hands twice.
" -The class is over, go change."
As everyone left the room with a satisfied step, she raised her voice again.
" -Selene stay here, I would like to discuss a moment in my office with you."