The Life of a Wizard

By Side-Man

430K 10K 4.8K

I drank too much and woke up in the body of a headmaster to a fictional school in a fictional world. Filled w... More

Death by Paperwork, are you kidding me?
Rising of a Hero
Welcome to the Room of Infinite Bullshit
Summoning the Living Dead
Dragon Knight
Welcome Back...
Justice for Velvet
When the Qrows come Home
An Achilles' Heel
Stomping on the Lion
Taming the Dragon
Getting a Pet Raven
Bunny Lass
My New Maid
I Forgot
Going to a Club
Let's Make a Deal
Overcompensating
Fireworks Malfunction
Professor Ozpin's Bandit Maid
Brought into the Fold
PTTD (Post Traumatic Torchwick Disorder)
Summoning the Living Dead II
A Xiao-Long Heirloom
Real-Life Harem
Hanging with a Rose
The Cat's Out of the Bag
Payback
Escape Strategy?
The Greatest Hero
NOT CHRISTMAS!!!
Fear the Witch
Emergency Meeting
In for a Penny
A Wizard of Passion
Mom's Here
Even More Girls!
Melting your Heart
Tai's Side Business
Rise of FragranceMan
Halloween
An Ass-Whooping
Synthesizer Duel

Giving the Tinman a piece of my Mind

13K 301 90
By Side-Man

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not RWBY, not the characters, or any concepts and abilities written here. Please support the official release.

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I spent the rest of the week in Mistral, giving the Lion Faunus some much needed therapy. In the end, he decided to step down from his position as Headmaster and set up a conference to tell everyone that.

He cried, and cried, and cried the whole time. I stayed by his side the whole time and helped him clean his office and kill the Grimm he hid in the wall.

Now he is on his way to Vale, where he will start over... as my personal servant.

What? You though I was gonna let him off the hook? Don't be ridiculous. 

Now I am on route to Atlas. God, this place is cold! If it wasn't for the climate control, this place would have been a frozen waste land.

The Bullhead lands and I make my way straight to the academy and everyone stops what they're doing just to stare at me walking down the lobby. Some of them were giving a salute.

I press a button and the elevator doors open as I walk inside. After a few minutes, I reach the top of the tower where the headmaster's office is and in front of the doors is none other than General James Ironwood.

(I do not own this image)

"James, it's so good to see you." I said giving the tinman a handshake.

James shakes my hand. "Ozpin, what are you doing here? Not that I don't appreciate your visit or anything."

"What? I can't visit my old friend at the cusp of the most anticipated event in Remnant history?" 

"Yes, shouldn't you be on that?" James asked.

"Bah, Glynda has it handled. She's more of a headmaster these days." I said.

"G-Glynda's handling it." James stuttered. 

Oh poor, Jimmy. The man wants to be seen as the tinman without a heart yet the moment Glynda is brought up his whole demeanor breaks down and becomes a love-stricken teenager.

"Yep, which leaves my schedule wide open for interpretation." I said. "So I went to Mistral confronted Lionheart about being Salem's spy and-"

"I'm sorry, what!?" James yells. That explains why Leo resigned.

"Yeah, but don't worry I took care of it. He is now working hard as my man servant." I said.

"Ozpin, the man is a spy for our enemy. Who knows what sort of things he's been telling her behind our back!" 

"I'm afraid its too late for that, friend." I played a bit with my cane. "Waaaaaay too late. Salem's pawns have already infiltrated Beacon and are going to sabotage the CCT during the dance." 

James gives me a look. "You got this from Leonardo, didn't you? Dammit Ozpin, for all we know he's lying to you about the sabotage."

"Yeah well, would a traitor do this." I take out my scroll and plug it into the CCT.

(Skip to 6:38 through 7:57)

"Wow." James is lost for words.

"Yup." I pop the "p". "So I was thinking instead of trying to stop them, we simply let them come to us. They will never see it coming."

"You can't be serious..."

I laugh a bit. "This is going to work, James. Trust me." Knowing Cinder, she likely thinks she has everything well in hand but I'm not going to give that to her. Oh no, I'm going to give the world of Remnant the biggest plot twist ever. "But just bring a small team with you and not the army. I don't want a bunch of easily hackable tin cans walking around my city."

James looks offended. "My drones use the best software the kingdom has to offer. I can assure that they cannot be hacked."

I roll my eyes. "James, all of your drones are connected to the CCT network. If the Vale CCT is hacked then all of your drones are compromised by default. Which brings me to my next question, why haven't you used a separate server for all of your robots? Do you realize how dangerous it is to have all of that sensitive information in a single partition?"

"Our security is impene-"

"The CCT firewalls haven't been upgraded in years, James. The only reason they haven't been hacked yet is because no one has tried to do so. And since Arthur Watts is responsible for most of the systems, it'll be easy for him to access them through a backdoor program he likely left behind." I explained.

"But Doctor Watts is-"

"Alive, James. Alive and working for Salem. I only know this because Leonardo has been in contact with him for years." I lied.

"Oum..." James is having a hard time to process.

"Yeah, we're fucked James. So for once in your life put your pride aside and actually listen to me for a change." I said.

"A-alright." I can see how hard of a pill it is for him to swallow.

"Remember, no robots. Just you, your ship, and a small team." My Scroll buzzes as I pick it up. "Very well." I put my Scroll away. "That was Glynda, she says that I need to come back to sign some papers."

"I thought you were on vacation." James said.

I shrug. "Well with Glynda, an hour break could be considered a vacation. Its honestly surprising that she's letting me travel all the way here."

"I will see you in Vale." James said.

"Mhm." I walk towards the door. "Remember, no robots." I walk out of the office.

"Riiiiiight." James was not going to bring robots to Vale. He was going to have one of them fight in the Vytal Festival. No sir.

Definitely no robots.





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