ZEKIAH XYRIEL'S POV
"Oh my gosh! I thought you're kidnapped or something! Why didn't you answered my calls?!"
Hindi ako makasagot sa mga tanong niya dahil hindi pa nga ako nakakapagsalita ay may tanong na naman siya. I just sighed and took a bite of a pizza that she bought for me. She's so worried that I haven't eat breakfast and lunch. It's because I didn't tell her the truth...that I stayed on Shael's condo for that night.
"I'm okay, Alina. I was just drunk last night so I didn't bother to answer your calls. Baka nakatulog na rin ako no'ng time na 'yon dahil sa pagod. Nakauwi pa naman ako sa condo ko at buhay pa."
She glared at me and hit me twice."Gaga ka talaga! And why'd you get drunk, huh?! Let me guess, you argued with your mother, right?"
There's no need to ask me because she already know the answer. Kung palagi man kaming nag-aaway ni mommy, iba't ibang dahilan din. Tsk. She started it.
"I don't want to talk about it, Ali. Kumain ka na lang," walang gana kong sagot at inubos na lang ang kinakain ko.
I heard her let out a sigh so I raised my head a little."Hindi ko na talaga alam kung anong nangyayari sa'yo...sa inyo. Things were changed and definitely in a mess. It's so impossible to be fixed because you didn't even think for some way that can make things okay."
Pagkatapos kong ininom ang shake ko ay binalik ko 'yon sa table dahil tapos na ako."Wala na akong pakialam do'n. We're already broke so why need to fix it? Magpapakahirap akong maghanap ng solusyon para sa lahat tapos mababalewala lang din naman. Besides, I'm already used to it."
"Zeriel, kung okay lang sa'yo sa'kin hindi. You're my cousin and my best friend. Nasasaktan ako kapag nakikita kitang nahihirapan." She held my hand on the table and hold it tighter.
I also held her hand on top of mine."Nah, don't be. I know you're always there through my ups and downs but you don't need to get involve with my life. Buhay ko 'to kaya hindi mo kailangang masaktan. Sapat na sa'kin na nandito ka sa tabi ko."
After we ate in the cafeteria, we separated again because she needs to do their project with her partner. Pumayag lang din ako dahil alangan naman itali ko siya 'di ba?! Nang mabuksan ko ang locker ko ay bumungad sa'kin ang tambakan kong mga libro na hiniram ko sa library no'ng isang araw. I forgot that today's the due of this book so I need to return it back to the library. Though, it's not a problem for me if I could pay but it's better to return it earlier.
"Excuse me, I'll just return this books."
"What's your name, Maam?"
I secretly rolled my eyes on her. Am I not famous for her not to recognize me?! Ugh!
"Zekiah Xyriel Knoxville," simple kong sagot.
Napatigil siya sa paghanap sa logbook pagkatapos niyang marinig ang pangalan ko."H-Hala! Sorry po, Ms. Zeriel. Ako na po ang bahala, pwede na kayong pumasok."
I nodded in response and went inside the library to find the section where it is supposed to be placed. Tatlong libro 'to na kailangan kong isauli at iba-iba pa 'to ng section. I was in the middle of finding the other section for the last book when I bumped into someone that's why my book fell on the floor.
"Take it slowly, Zeriel. Wala kang kaagaw sa buong library." Tono pa lang ng pananalita niya kilala ko na.
I pick up my book and faced her."Thanks for last night, by the way. Don't worry, I'll wash the clothes that you let me borrow. Ibabalik ko sa'yo, baka bukas."
"Hindi ko naman hiningi sa'yo eh. Okay lang kahit hindi mo binalik, hindi naman ako magagalit." May kinuha siyang libro na katabi ng akin at tiningnan ako.
My brows furrowed after I placed the book on the shelves."Why? Just so you know, marami akong mga damit kaya bakit naman hindi ko ibalik sa'yo. Thanks but, I don't really accept things from anyone since I know that I could buy it on my own."
Tumawa lang siya at napailing na lang."Sabi ko na eh, ganyan ang magiging reaksyon mo. Well, it's up to you. But next time, don't drink too much if you can't handle it by yourself. Kahit naman sabihin mong wala akong pakialam, may mag-aalala rin naman sa'yo kaya sana isipin mo rin sila."
I was left dumbfounded with her words and blinked twice before I came back to reality. Napasandal lang ako sa bookshelves dahil inaalala ko ang mga sinabi niya. Mag-aalala? Meron ba? Did someone even think of me? Or even care for me? Dunno.
Buong buhay ko si Alina lang ang nagpaparamdam sa'kin na may halaga ako. Si mommy? Maybe she did, pero minsan lang. She's not always there whenever I need someone to comfort me...si Ali ang pumapalit sa pwesto niya sa tuwing wala siya. She just remember her daughter if she's free or what.
Dahil malapit na ang mga contest sa Saturday ay mas naging busy lang lalo ang mga teachers namin. As usual, we're vacant on the last subject so it's absolutely boring. If my classmates almost jump in happiness because they could rest and have time for some chikas, not me. I'm always alone by myself and I'm contented on it. Mabuti nga at nadala ko ang camera ko kaya titingin na lang siguro ako ng pictures. But first, I should go to a quiet place so that I could feel the mood.
"Anong tinitingnan mo? Patingin nga!"
Napaigtad ako nang may biglang tumabi sa'kin at nang makita ko ulit ang pagmumukha niya ay nainis lang ako."Could you please give signal to me whenever you're around?! Bukod kase sa napakapanget ng mukha mo, nakakarindi rin ang boses mo!"
"Nakita lang kita dito kaya lumapit ako. Curious kase ako sa tinitingnan mo eh pero tinataboy mo agad ako. You're always hurting me with your words." Ngumuso pa siya pero hindi naman bagay sa kanya.
"Babaero ka, 'di ba? Why don't you find girls to flirt with?! Sa'kin ka pa talaga nang-iistorbo!" inis kong sagot at binaba ang camera ko.
I can't concentrate looking on my pictures if he kept on watching my actions.
He stood up in front of me while crossing his arms."Tamad ako eh, hindi ko rin feel mambabae. Nakakasawa ang pagmumukha nilang lahat. Just let me be with you for a couple of minutes."
Napairap na lang ako at hindi siya sinagot. He really wants to disturb me whenever we see each other. Psh. May babaero bang tamad mambabae? Mukha niya!
"Can we go out for tonight? Don't be so KJ," biglang sambit niya na ikinalingon ko sa kanya.
My brows frowned, still processing what he'd said."For what?! Ang what's KJ?"
"Seriously?! Hindi mo alam 'yon? It means Killjoy, grabe ka." Nanlalaki pa ang mga mata niya at hindi makapaniwalang nakatingin sa'kin.
"Whatever. Why do you want to go out with me?! Busy ako, wala akong time d'yan," walang gana kong sagot.
Nilagay niya naman ang hintuturo niya sa labi niya na parang nag-iisip."Hindi sa may utang na loob ka sa'kin kagabi ah, pero pwedeng bigyan mo'kong favor? Just eat with me tonight and that's it."
I immediately stood up when uncle texted me again to go to the court."Why does it need to be me?! You can find girls everywhere that can accompany you. Pagod ako."
"Edi papaligayahin kita."
Agad akong napahinto sa paglalakad at galit na lumingon sa kanya."Ginagago mo ba ako, Mr. Cassanova?!"
"Hala, GM! Hindi 'yon ang ibig kong sabihin, Ms. Maldita. Bastos ka, ah!" He sounded like he's blaming me so I just rolled my eyes on him.
"Why do you keep on saying acronyms?! What's GM?! We're not in a guessing game, jerk!" I turned my back on him and started walking again.
"Uh... it means greenminded. I thought your fond of social media and yet you didn't know that?" he asked sarcastically that made me winced.
"So what?! Hindi naman ako mahilig sa tsismis kagaya mo kaya bakit ko malalaman?! And one thing, stop bugging me around! Kanina pa ako naiinis sa'yo." Mas binilisan ko ang paglalakad ko pero sa kasamaang palad, mas mataas ang binti niya kaysa sa'kin kaya minsan nauunahan niya pa ako.
"I don't know where's your destination but I'm going to the court for our basketball practice, just so you know."
Because I'm irritated, I didn't talk back to cut our conversation. When we finally entered the court, voices greeted us that was probably from his teammates. Are they celebrating or something? Agad hinanap ng mata ko si Mr. Rivera dahil gusto kong sermonan na naman siya. Palagi niya na lang akong pinapatawag sa walang kwentang dahilan.
"Yown oh! Nandito na pala si Shael...at may kasama pa siya," biglang sigaw ng isa sa kasama niyang player.
"Sanaol may model," dagdag no'ng isa pa.
"Gago! Hindi ko siya sinama rito, siya ang sumama sa'kin." Akmang sasama siya sa mga teammates niya nang hilahin ko ang kwelyo niya pabalik.
"Fuck you!" Tinapakan ko ang paa niya kaya napatalon siya sa sakit at napasigaw pa.
I just rolled my eyes on them and went to uncle's direction who's glaring at me. Tinaasan ko naman siya ng kilay at pinagkrus ang mga braso ko nang makalapit ako.
"Na-late lang ako saglit at eto agad ang bumungad sa'kin. Tell me, what did you do?" Tumingin siya sa likuran ko kaya napatingin na rin ako.
I saw Shael groaning in pain because of what I did to him. Hindi naman masama ang tingin niya sa'kin pero ang paraan ng pagtitig niya ay kakaiba. His teammates were laughing at him and so with his brothers, Katria was there too.
Nilingon ko ulit si uncle."What now?! How are you so sure that I was the one who hurt him?! You didn't even saw everything."
"Kahit na, Zeriel. Kilala kita bilang pamangkin ko. You can't fool me," sagot niya pa.
"Okay, okay. So, what's the matter and you called me over and over again?!" kunot noong tanong ko.
He let out a sigh and pointed the bleachers so my attention was on it. I saw ten girls wearing sexy outfits like they're in a fashion show. When they saw me staring on them, they screamed and whispered something to each other. I looked at him with a confused reaction.
"What's this?! Anong gagawin ko sa kanila?!"
Napabuntong hininga naman siya ulit."They're the model competitors of this University for the upcoming event on Friday. Baguha pa lang sila kaya hindi pa nila alam kung paano ang tamang pag-rampa kaya gusto kong humingi ng tulong mo. I know that you'll get mad on me because I didn't tell you at first but I hope that you'll teach them."
"Wait, what?! Are you kidding me, uncle?! I know I'm a professional model but I can't teach them. Mahirap magturo sa mga walang alam, kahit simpleng pag-ngiti hindi alam kung pa'no! Besides, why didn't you ask for my permission?! Alam mo namang pihikan ako sa mga bagay-bagay, 'di ba?" Napasapo ako sa noo ko at tiningnan ulit ang mga babae sa kabilang banda, natahimik din sila.
"Zeriel, lower down your voice. I know it's hard but I trust you. Kaya mong gawin 'yan dahil matagal ka na sa indust---"
"Hindi pa matagal, isang taon at kalahati pa lang." I cut off his words.
"Please, I'm rooting on you. Ikaw lang ang alam kong makatutulong sa kanila para sa ikakapanalo ng university na 'to. Besides, haven't you seen their smiles when they looked at you? They're your biggest fans, Zeriel. Can't you still give them a chance just for this time?"
"Bakit nga kase ako?! Why don't they hire some mentors out there?!"
"Because they want you to teach them. Kahit magbayad daw sila ng ilang daang libo, gagawin nila para pumayag ka. Hindi ka man lang ba marunong makaramdam ng awa kahit konti?"
I stared at him for a minute and those girls that was probably afraid of me. I haven't done something like this. Kapag kase may mga ganitong pangyayari, kadalasan kumukuha sila ng personal mentors. But them? They're so desperate to get me as their mentor. Why is it?! Kase famous ako at magaling? We also have schoolmates that were models like me but they still chose me. Should I felt...grateful to them?
"Fine! I'll do it! Hanggang kailan ba 'to?" I asked annoyingly.
Agad naman lumiwanag ang ulo niyang kalbo sa sinabi ko."Until Friday but you still have to guide them on Saturday for the rehearsal. You need to cheer them up to boost their confidence. Ikaw ang mentor nila kaya alam kong proud sila do'n."
"Damn it! Ano pa?!"
May kinuha siya sa bleachers na katabi no'ng mga babae at lumapit sa'kin dala-dala ang dalawang paper bags."Wear this first so that you could teach them well. Hindi mo maipapakita ang tamang gagawin kung naka-uniform ka lang."
"Where did you get this?! Don't tell me it's from Katria, again!" Hindi ko alam kung bakit nasabi ko 'yon pero kusa na lang na lumabas sa bibig ko.
"Bakit naman ako nasali d'yan?! Galit ka sa'kin, ghorl?" sigaw niya sa kabilang bleachers.
I looked at her with bored reaction and walked away to proceed on the backstage. When I opened it, I saw an overall sleeveless on top and short for the upper part. It's color black with a pair of black boots that has 5 inches heels. I fixed my not-so-curly hair and let it loose before putting my uniform in each paper bags.
"All of you, follow me on the auditorium." Lumabas ako dala ang dalawang paperbags at tingingnan sila isa-isa.
"Shael naman! Focus muna sa laro, bro! Mamaya ka na tumingin kay crush," rinig kong sambit no'ng player kaya napalingon ako sa kanila.
"Tang'na mo gago! Wala akong crush!"
Todo sigaw silang lahat sa kanya at parang baklang tumitili para asarin siya. Napairap na lang ako at sinenyasan ang mga babaeng sumunod sa'kin palabas. I didn't mind the students around us, so as their rumors. Wala akong panahon para pakinggan ang walang kwentang mga kasabihan nila. It's just a waste of time.
"Now, I want you to line up in front of the stage. After that, you'll step forward if you're going to introduce yourselves. I want a proper introduction so better prepare." Umupo ako sa sa harap ng isang maliit na table kaharap sila.
The girl on the left side step forward."Hi everyone. My name is Catalina Taylorsville, 18 years of age. I'm born in Quezon City and currently studying Master In Education. I joined this pagea---"
"Stop it! I said I need a proper introduction! 'Yon ba ang pagkakaintindi mo sa sinabi ko?! Just to tell all of you, the judges needs your name, age, and the course that you're representing. Babalikan kita pagkatapos nila, ayusin mo ang introduction mo. Next!" I demanded and played my fingers on top of the table.
Another girl stepped forward and looks like she's nervous."H-Hello everyone. I-I'm Dylene Montello, 17 years of age. R-Representing Master In Public Administration."
"Stop right there. When you're going to talk in front of the crowd, don't be nervous. Y'all needs to have confidence on yourselves. I'm sure that you won't be able to win the pageant if that's the matter." I massaged the bridge of my nose as I gestured to continue.
Matagal natapos ang introducing thingy namin dahil ang tagal nilang maka-gets. Nang makuha na nila ng konti ay sumunod naman agad kami sa tamang pagtayo dahil babalik na lang naman 'yon bukas. Their body needs to be stretched out to perform the correct standing position. And guess what?! Mas na-stress lang ako kaysa kanina. Ugh!
"Position your right foot in front. Hands on the hips. Breast out. Chin up. Smile." Hinampas ko nang mahina ang stick na hawak ko sa sahig habang pinapanood sila.
"Wait, you! What's your name again?" I pointed the girl in the middle.
"I'm Charlotte, po."
I walked towards her while holding the stick on my hand that made her feel nervous."Can you show me how you smile."
She smiled again that made me hit the floor with the stick. Napaigtad naman silang lahat pero nang tumingin ako sa kanila ay dali-dali silang bumalik sa posisyon na pinapagawa ko sa kanila.
"That's not the proper way to smile, Charlotte. Smile like your really happy, a simple smile to be exact. Hindi 'yong pilit na para kang natatae, ang panget tingnan. From the top!" Bumaba ako ng stage at pumunta sa pwesto ko kanina para malinaw ko silang mapanood.
"Don't be so stressed, Zeriel. Natural lang 'yan sa kanila dahil baguhan pa lang. They will get it easily if you wouldn't scold them. Nagmumukha kang nakakatakot sa paningin nila kapag galit ka." Biglang sumulpot sa tabi ko si Katria habang nakacross-arms.
"I'm still angry right now. Aren't you scared of me?" I raised my eyebrow at her, waiting for her answer.
She just laughed at me, still focused her attention in front."Why would I? Tao ka rin naman kagaya ko, maliban na lang kung Diyos ka. But I'm telling you, treat your trainees well. Magiging madali ang lahat kapag kalmado ka."
"You guys come here. Watch me walk in stage. Tandaan niyo para may ma-ensayo kayo sa bahay niyo. I'm going to do this again tomorrow but after this, you can go home." Tumayo na ako at pumalit sa stage. They look so excited to see me walk on stage in person.
I started to walk while wearing a fierce expression. Whenever I'm in the corner of the stage, I'm going to take a pose. I did it in almost three rounds before walking three steps ng the middle and I did the pivot portion. Sakto namang natapos ako sa pag-pivot ay may biglang pumalakpak galing sa pintuan ng auditorium. I found out that it was uncle and his basketball team. What are they doing here?!
"I think you should do it again," suhestiyon naman ni Kat.
Tumaas naman ang kilay ko."And why?! Isang beses ko lang ipapakita sa kanila ang pag-rampa ko."
"You just said earlier that a model should smile in front of everyone. Hindi naman namin nakitang ngumiti ka kaya baka hindi ka rin nila gayahin. Bad influence, I guess?"
Inis akong tinalikuran sila at bumalik sa stage. I don't know how to show them a real smile. Ako mismo sa sarili ko hindi alam kung pa'no. She also made me pissed that's why I couldn't do it. Idagdag mo pa na may nagtatawanan sa likuran, parang mga timang. Bwisit!
"Okay go."
I tried my best not to show them my fake smile so I think of some things that could make me happy. I never done this before...not even when I'm doing my photoshoots and endorsements. Do I really need to do this in front of them?! Argh.
"Ano, okay na?!" inis kong tanong sa kanya.
Tinawanan niya lang naman ako ulit."Well perfectly done."
Napairap na lang ako sa bumalik sa harap ng mga tinuturuan ko."Starting tomorrow, you're going to bring your fitted dress above the knee and 5 inches heels. That's going to be our theme for tomorrow. The exact time is 3:00 o'clock in the afternoon and for those who will get late will be punished. Is it all clear?"
"Yes, maam."
It's already 5:00 when we finished the practice so I'm late. Kailangan ko pang dumaan kay Lolo para kamustahin siya at magdala ng pagkain. He's too old to cook for himself so I need to bring him foods. Sasabihin ko rin sa kanya na medyo mala-late ako ng bisita sa kanya dahil may importante akong gagawin...sa kanila lang at hindi sa'kin.
"Hey, wait for me. 'Di ba sabi ko lalabas tayo? Hintayin mo naman ako!"
Agad naman akong napahinto nang biglang may humawak sa braso ko. I turned my gaze on him and to his hands that was holding mine. Nang mapansin niya 'yon ay agad niya namang binitawan saka umayos ng tayo. He's here again. Ugh!
"As far as I remember, I didn't agree to go out with you. Right?" I asked in a sarcastic tone.
"H-Ha? Pero sab---"
"Shael, nand'yan ka pala? Tara sama ka samin, bar ulit kami." Another guy interrupted from the gate. He looked and him smilingly and when he turned his gaze on me, he suddenly smirked.
"Sorry, bro. I have to go somewhere. Kayo na lang muna, baka malagot din ako kay kuya."
"Ah, sige. Mukhang busy ka eh, enjoy! Bro, hindi raw muna sasama si Shael. May lakad eh, tayo na lang." He shouted at the two guys who just came out of the gate.
"I have to go somewhere, just go with them. Busy din ako." Akmang aalis sana ako nang pigilan niya ulit ako.
"Wait. I have to tell you something," sabi niya pa.
"What again?!"
"Uh...in private?" nag-aalangan niyang tanong.
Napairap na lang ako at hinarap siya."I don't have a car with me. You have to drop me off wherever I want to go. Kasalanan mo 'yan."
"Okay, sige. No problem."
Tiningnan ko ang paligid ko kung may ibang estudyante na nandito para iwas sa issue. His friends were looking on me but I just rolled my eyes on them before I get inside his car. Nang tingnan ko ang side mirror ng kotse niya ay nakikipag-usap pa siya sa mga kaibigan niya. Tsk. Ang tagal.
"Sorry, may sinabi pa kase ako sa kanila. By the way, where are we going first?" He sat on the drivers seat and put on his seatbelt.
"Sa Starbucks muna, bibili ako ng take out. After that, drop me off at the next street because I'm going to give the foods to Lolo."Nilagay ko sa backseat ang dalawang paper bag na may laman ng uniform ko kanina. I didn't change my clothes because I'm too lazy to do it.
"So, you really took care of that old man? Amazing! Sabi ko na eh, may awa ka talaga." He still focused his attention on the road.
Tiningnan ko siya saglit at binalik ang tingin sa labad ng bintana."Yeah. But this side of mine will just appear whenever I'm with him. I don't want someone to see it...or to discover my real attitude."
"Bakit naman?! Ako gusto kong makita ang gano'ng side mo. I'm curious about that side of yours."
Hindi mo dapat makita...kahit sino hindi. Because if it happens, maybe I can't hold on again. I don't want to be like before. Ayoko!
"Cut the crap! What are you going to ask me again?! 'Wag mong sabihin na scam dahil baka masipa kita!" inis kong sambit.
"Ah, no'ng Linggo pa 'to kaso nakakalimutan kong sabihin sa'yo kapag nagkikita tayo. Ay gago! 'Di ba may gagawin tayo pareho sa Sabado? Shit!" He suddenly stepped on the break that's why I accidentally pulled his shirt.
"Letse! Gago ka ba?! Why are you so stupid?! May saltik ka ba, ha?!" inis kong singhal sa kanya.
"Sorry, sorry. Ganito kase 'yan, ako ang substitute ni kuya no'ng Linggo sa kompanya kaya ako ang nag-attend ng meeting. The problem is, we're going to endorse a product for our marketing project but we don't have a model---"
"No! Don't tell me it's me again! Damn you guys! You're always making a decision without asking for someone's permission!" Napasabunot na lang ako sa buhok ko dahil sa sinabi niya.
He's so frustrated and even messed up his hair."Yon na nga eh. I already agreed that I'm going to talk to you right after that meeting but I didn't. Nakalimutan ko kase talaga sa daming iniisip."
"Iniisip na babae?! Gago ka nga! How could I attend it on Saturday if I'm going to attend the contest for our school, huh?! Just cancel it!" I demanded him because I couldn't really make it.
"But I already make an agreement. How about Sunday?" tanong niya pa.
"I can't! I always have photoshoots every Sunday and there's no way I could cancel it," matigas kong sagot.
"So as me. Hindi naman kase pwedeng sa Thursday or Friday kase may basketball practice kami at may tuturuan ka rin. Besides, they can't be here because they're still preparing the products from Brazil. Sa Sabado talaga ang punta nila rito. Fuck it! Mukhang hindi ayon ang lahat sa plano." Hinampas niya ang manibela ng kotse niya kaya natigilan ako.
Galit ba siya?!
"Kaasar! Magdasal ka na lang na madaling matapos ang contest na 'yon para makaabot pa tayo."
He looked a me surprisingly."W-What? Pumapayag ka na?"
"What could I do?! Tatanga-tanga ka kase eh. Puno na tuloy ang schedules ko."
Mukhang wala silang balak na hayaan akong magpahinga. Argh!
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