Venza had always been the car I fancied, so when Abi presented it to me as a gift, I was over the moon. I was extra excited because I didn't expect it. Ummi and Imran were surprised as well.
The feeling of starting my final year in the university with a car was spontaneous. Left to Abi, he would have gifted me the car a long time ago, but for whatever reason, Ummi kept on discouraging him.
I had always thought I would have the best time of my life during my final year, but that wasn't the case. Farida has graduated. Hala no longer talked to me and Na'eem had been a little distant. I didn't blame him though. He was heartbroken. I understood him, but I didn't feel guilty at all because I never led him on. I never hid the fact about my feelings from Jawaad from him.
At first, I didn't want to tell him, but I felt it would be unfair to him.
Na'eem didn't get angry, but the look of disappointment on his face couldn't be overlooked. He asked me if I was sure of what I was getting into and I affirmed. With no other word being said, he walked away.
Since then, my relationship with Na'eem hadn't been the same. We still talked a lot, but the vibe wasn't the same. I didn't bother talking to him about it because I knew I'd only make him feel some type of way. I didn't want that.
I used to feel guilty for not reciprocating Na'eem's love, but not anymore. I later understood the saying 'the heart wants what it wants'. Jawaad may not be the perfect person for me. He had hurt me a lot, making me feel insecure about myself, but that wasn't enough to get rid of the love I had for him in my heart. I wanted to convince myself that the feelings were all gone, but when he came back begging and Ummi intervened, I just couldn't keep up the act.
So far, Jawaad had been the perfect gentleman. He hadn't given me a single chance to complain about him. He never missed chances to visit me. I had become freer with him. I could call him at the wee hours and he would gladly pick up.
The past few weeks had drawn us closer than we had ever been.
More than ever, it had become clearer to me that he was the one I wished to spend the rest of my life with.
I could already picture a future of us together.
•
I had just finished having breakfast, when my phone beeped, indicating a new text message.
It was Na'eem, asking me if I wouldn't be able to make it to class.
I quickly dialed his number and took the phone to my ear. "Assalamualaikum, Na'eem."
"Waalaykum salam." He responded, his voice a bit down. "Aren't you going to come to class today?"
"No, Na'eem," I replied. "I don't feel too well today. I won't be able to attend."
"What's wrong with you?" He asked, concern laced his voice.
"It's just a migraine. I think I'm just stressed out." I responded.
"Have you taken any medicine?"
"Yes, I have."
"Should I come over?"
"It's fine, Na'eem, I won't be available anyway."
"You just told me you're not feeling well, where do you want to go in that state?"
I hummed. I wasn't sure if I should tell him that Jawaad would be coming over. I didn't want to spark reactions from him.
"Is your boyfriend coming over?"
I heaved a sigh before responding. "He is." I didn't bother explaining because it'd be of no use.
"Have fun then...bye." he ended the call.
I blew out my cheeks.
My phone was still on my lap when it began to ring.
At a glance at the screen, I smiled, then took the phone to my ear. "Assalamu'alaykum."
"Wa Alaikum Salam." Jawaad sounded down in the dumps. He seemed to be in a bad mood.
Whenever he got that way, I just allowed him to do his thing. Contrary to what he always liked to portray himself as, he was effusive.
"How are you doing?" I asked. We hadn't spoken over the phone since the previous day. Although I missed the sound of his voice in my ears, I didn't like the fact that he was in a bad mood again. I wondered what was bothering him. I didn't ask him because I kind of already had a hunch I was the cause.
"Not alright." His reply was curt.
Here we go.
"Oh!" I sighed.
"You won't ask me why I'm not alright?" He hummed.
"I feel you'd tell me if you want me to know. I don't have to ask you." I said and lay down on my bed. The bed was cozy—the room was. It was a self-contained building I rented off-campus. I didn't have a roommate because I didn't want to have one. I was in my final year. I wanted to have my privacy and besides, I was tired of having to keep up with different personalities. I was actually surprised when Abi didn't object. Ummi objected at first, but I was able to make her see things from my viewpoint.
"I have been trying to call you for more than thirty minutes, but it's been saying 'busy'." He grouched. "Who have you been on the phone with?"
I stifled a laugh at how jealous he sounded. I knew I probably wasn't supposed to be so happy about how he was feeling, but I couldn't help the feeling. I felt glad—glad that I could invoke the feeling in him. He had always been the one making me feel that way.
Whenever we weren't together, I always wondered what he'd be up to. I'd admit I didn't completely trust him yet, but I was getting there. I knew I would get there sooner than later.
"Na'eem." I smiled. "I have been talking to him."
He remained silent for a minute or so. "For thirty minutes?"
Now, that was exaggerated.
"He just called to check up on me because I didn't attend class."
"I see."
"What? He's not allowed to do that?"
"He can do whatever he wants."
For the umpteenth time, I sighed. I was happy he felt jealous but at the same time, I felt he was doing a little too much. I had tried to make him understand that Na'eem was just my friend and that he was the one I love and chose, but he still wouldn't believe me. He was probably thinking I had feelings for Na'eem. "You can't stop me from being friends with Na'eem."
"I just called to inform you that I won't be able to make it to Zaria today. Don't expect me." He didn't wait for my response before ending the call.
Several times, we had misunderstandings—minor misunderstandings, but not once had he ended the call while we weren't done speaking. He even went to the extent of canceling the visit I had been anticipating since I woke up.
It was exactly a week since he last visited. I was looking forward to seeing him again, but my anticipation was crushed by his words.
At times like this, I couldn't help but wonder if I had made the right decision by deciding to be with Jawaad. I wouldn't say he was temperamental, but he definitely wasn't coolheaded.
He is the type of person who wants things to always be done his way.
Offended by the attitude he just exhibited, I switched off my phone and placed it beneath my pillow.
"Let's see how you will be able to cope without speaking to me for the rest of the day." As punishment to him for disrespecting me—I really felt disrespected—I decided to make myself unavailable to him for the rest of the day, and probably the next.
•
When I switched on my phone four hours later, the first person I called was Ummi, because I knew she'd be worried about not being able to get through to me.
We spoke for a couple of minutes, and I explained to her why I had to switch off my phone. Ummi had been my advisor since the day I confided in her about Jawaad. She was always there to tell me the things to do and whatnot.
Ummi advised me to have a conversation with him and express how I felt about how he spoke to me and ended the call when we weren't done talking. Ummi believed we constantly got into little arguments because we hadn't had the chance to have a heart-to-heart conversation.
I believed so too.
A few minutes passed, and I didn't get any calls from Jawaad.
I felt disappointed but I managed to shrug off the feeling.
I believed he would call me.
A knock on the door startled me.
Jawaad has come!
I jumped off the bed and rushed to the door. Without even asking, I swung it open, a broad smile plastered on my face.
My demeanor morphed into a frown when I saw Zainab, my neighbor, at the doorstep.
"Sorry for disturbing you." She chuckled. "I just want you to lend me your blender."
"Oh! Come on in." I gestured. "I will get it for you."
I walked into the kitchen and returned with the blender, then handed it to her. "Here."
"Thank you. I will return it as soon as I'm done using it."
"Don't worry about it." I smiled. "You can return it whenever you want."
I walked her to the door, then locked it.
Disappointed, I sat by the foot of the bed and checked my phone. Jawaad still hadn't called or left any message.
Another knock on the door made me groan and get off the bed.
Zainab is back. She probably forgot something.
"Did you—" my eyes broadened when I saw Jawaad standing in front of me.
The white kaftan he was donned in made him look even more handsome than he already was. The cap also complemented the look.
He looked handsome, whereas I looked like a maid dressed in a top and long skirt, with a scarf messily wrapped around my head.
I wanted so badly to express my happiness by jumping but I had to remind myself that I was still mad at him and shouldn't talk to him unless he apologizes.
Wordlessly, Jawaad gazed at me; his demeanor resolute and his left hand embedded in his pocket.
If I didn't talk, I was certain he wouldn't as well. "What are you doing here?" The question was supposed to emerge in a firm voice. I hoped I didn't fumble.
"Isn't it obvious?" He took out his hand from his pocket and brushed his right brow.
"You have no business being here." I started. "I thought you made it clear to me that you would be canceling."
For a second or so, silence dominated the atmosphere.
"Should I go back?"
I huffed. "The same way you came without informing me, you can as well leave in the same way. It's your call."
"You want me to leave?" He asked again.
I shrugged. "If you want to, then you can do so. I don't care."
What are you saying, Manal?
"Are you angry with me?"
You should know.
I rolled my eyes. "Did you do something you weren't supposed to do?"
"None that I can think of." He remarked. "I'm even the one who's supposed to be angry. You know how much I dislike you mingling or even talking to men, yet you keep doing it. I'm beginning to think you do these things to spike me or something."
"That's your justification for cutting the call on me?" I retorted. "We weren't even done talking."
"I'm sorry." He apologized, then sighed. "I got angry and I didn't want to say anything offensive to you."
Aww!
"But you told me you wouldn't be coming anymore. Do you know how disappointed I was to hear that?"
"I wanted to surprise you." He smiled. "Did it work?"
"Absolutely." I chuckled. "Thanks for coming, and sorry if I made you angry. Na'eem is just a friend to me. Nothing more. Stop feeling threatened by him."
"Threatened?" He sneered. "By that boy? Don't make me laugh. He's no competition for me."
"Why are you so full of yourself?" I chuckled.
"It's just what it is." He shrugged. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"
I rubbed my teeth together. "The room is messy and it's hot inside. Sorry." I excused. Ummi had made me promise her that I would never invite any man, not even Jawaad into my room. The only time I was allowed to invite him inside was when there is a third party.
I had a feeling Jawaad knew it was an excuse to make us stay outside, but he didn't say anything.
"I will just bring out a mat. We can sit outside and enjoy the fresh air while we talk."
"Okay..."
I went back to the room to get the mat. I used the opportunity to get dressed in better clothing.
"Yes, she's around." I heard Jawaad's voice.
Who is he speaking to?
I quickly opened the door. To say I was surprised to see her standing and conversing with Jawaad was an understatement.
"Hala?"
•
Assalamualaikum/hello!
I know y'all probably hate me for not updating for about 8 days now. I'm sorry 😔 in Sha Allah, the next update won't take as long.
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