I creaked open the door to find an empty room.
It was a bit small, but fully furnished. To my left was a small bed and a dresser, and a desk was sitting on my right.
As I walked in, I could tell something was unnerving about this place. It wasn't right. The door couldn't be unlocked randomly when all the others were locked.
I could feel a presence here.
My instincts told me to turn around in a flash, just as Jean Gauthier lunged at me from behind the door, where he'd been hiding.
Now, I'd handled men like him before, even with my bare hands. I might not be as good as Soler at combat, but I was definitely a force to reckon with. And in this case, I was also armed with a knife.
I kicked Gauthier in the stomach just as he was about to punch me in the face. He got knocked backward, and I took that opportunity to lunge at him with my knife.
He grabbed my wrists at the last moment and struggled against my grip, the glinting blade of the knife inches away from his face. His eyes were a startling, scary shade of grey, as he narrowed them at me.
I kneed him in the stomach once more, and his grip weakened. Not wasting a moment, I slashed my knife across his cheek.
He let out a groan of pain, but surprisingly, didn't recede as much as I'd expected him to. He cradled his bloodied cheek with one hand while he tried to come at me again.
Right then, something happened which I just wasn't prepared for. If only Jean Gauthier had tried to attack me then, I would've been able to handle him, since I could see him coming. But in my struggle with him, I'd been forced to shift in a position where my back was to the entrance, and I certainly did not anticipate another person hiding behind that mahogany door.
As Gauthier came forward, and I prepared to strike him with my knife, another heavy torso lunged at me from behind, knocking the air out of my body.
Shit.
I fell forward on the floor, and my knife was snatched out of my hands. Even my iron grip wasn't enough to keep it away from them.
I looked up to see two men--Gauthier, and one other man I didn't recognise, who looked even bigger and deadlier than him. He had huge, taut muscles and clearly worked out a lot, and from his stance, I could tell he knew how to fight.
"Get up, girlie," Gauthier taunted, an evil smirk lining his lips.
The second man pulled me up roughly, his grip tight on my arm. I could see my knife in his other hand, and I struggled against him to retrieve it, but to no avail.
Gauthier, seeing me fight, dragged me to one corner of the room, the other man following close behind. They both caged me in against the wall, and that was when I truly started feeling that dreadful thing creeping through my body--fear.
"Caldwell and Beaumont have been captured already, Gauthier," I hissed, trying to get an edge over him. "You have no way out now."
He simply chuckled at my words. "I don't care for them any more than you do, cherie. I was after the money, and now that I've got my share, I couldn't care less about what happens with those two."
"But you," he paused, as if contemplating, "I wonder what I could do with you. You're quite the feisty little one, non?" He hooked a finger under my chin and pulled my face towards his. I wrinkled my nose in disgust but held his gaze.
"You know, hardly anyone ever visits this floor," Gauthier mumbled, his eyes roaming all over my body. "Have you got a tracker?"
"No."
He smirked. "I know you're lying, girlie. Now come on, take it off. Take your tracker off."
I stood still, my heart beating like a jackhammer.
The second man took a step forward, the knife's tip touching the base of my throat.
"Take it off."
I shook my head, trying to remain as calm as possible. "I don't have a tracker on me. I'm not lying."
Gauthier laughed. The sound was hollow, and dangerous. "You honestly expect me to believe a detective or an agent, whatever the hell you are, doesn't have a tracker on her when she goes into missions like these?"
"If you don't take the tracker off now, I won't hesitate to use this knife," the other man spoke for the first time, clearly with an Italian accent.
I gulped, and seeing I was currently caged against the wall by two extremely strong men, armed with a knife, I realised I had no other option.
Slowly, I reached down and pulled the tracker from under my shoe. Gauthier snatched the small chip from my fingers.
He tossed it around in his hands for a few seconds, before smiling and throwing it out of the open window.
My heart sank.
Gauthier took one more step towards me, and now, he was practically nose to nose with me, his entire body flush against mine. I tried to shift and angle my head away from his, but he gripped my throat and pulled me back to face him.
"You're--you're hurting me," I managed to croak out as his hand gripped my neck even more, like a vice. My throat was closing up, I could feel myself choking. This pain wasn't the worst I'd ever experienced, but it was definitely excruciating.
Gauthier's smile was that of a psychopath. "Good." He tightened his grip around my neck, and I swear I felt my heart stop and my windpipe scream in protest. The other man laughed maniacally, and edged even closer. He took one finger and trailed it from my cheek, down my neck and started going even lower.
(TW: sexual assault)
I closed my eyes in fear and disgust. Was this seriously happening right now? Were they actually going to assault me? Rape me even?
Although I'd been on a lot of dangerous missions before, I'd never been sexually assaulted. I'd never let myself end up in that position, and this was a first. I really couldn't understand how a trained agent like me could let these vile men have an edge.
Gauthier smiled again, his dirty gaze roaming all over my body, settling particularly long on my chest. Suddenly, with a force that made me gasp, he ripped off my blazer. I instantly tried to shield my chest with my hands, but they were pinned down by the second man.
I could feel the tears threatening to come out any moment now. I couldn't believe this. How had I become this vulnerable? How had I let these men get me in a position like this, with their predatory eyes scanning me from head to toe and making my stomach coil in fear?
I still didn't give up. I tried to kick them, knee them in the crotch, I tried everything. But they already anticipated my move. The second man threw me a nasty glare and knelt down. In one single blow, he slashed his knife against my calf, creating a deep gash which made me gasp and cry out in pain. He did the same thing to my other calf, and it took everything in me not to sink down on the floor.
I could feel the blood streaming out from both my calves, and I knew I didn't have the strength to fight them with my legs anymore. The Italian man had bloodied them up too much. And they had my hands pinned, so I practically had zero hope now.
I was so filled with fear, disgust and rage--pure, unadulterated rage--that I spat in Gauthier's face. If I couldn't do anything else, at least I could do this.
"You're a sick bastard," I hissed.
His stormy grey eyes were wild with fury as he looked at me, and suddenly ripped off my shirt and bulletproof vest, leaving me only in my pants and sportsbra. His hands were all over my body--running down my side, touching my butt. When he roughly groped my breasts, I screamed, and the second man promptly clamped his hand over my mouth.
I could feel my tears free-falling down my cheeks. What was happening? Was I going to get raped? Wasn't there anything I could do to stop them?
In that moment, I realised I'd never felt so powerless before. So vulnerable, defenseless and broken. Absolutely broken. I started sobbing as the two men groped me in places they had no business touching. I tried to scream, I cried, I struggled, but nothing worked.
Nothing.
Soler. Where was Soler? In that moment, I could only think of him and wonder where the hell he was. Was he looking for me? The room I was in was right at the end of the hallway, in a very secluded part of the house. Would he look here? Would he come find me? On time?
I couldn't scream anymore. One of them had his hand tight over my mouth as he took pleasure in humiliating me like this. I couldn't even bite his hand, it was clamped so tight over my lips. I suddenly felt Gauthier's hand all the way down there, and my entire body recoiled in disgust. And shame.
"Nobody's going to save you now, girlie," Gauthier grinned. "You're in our hands, and doesn't it feel good? Don't lie, girlie, we know you feel good."
I tried to scream again, this time to call for Soler. Soon they were going to rip all my clothes apart and really, truly violate me. Rape. I'd never thought I'd be one to fall prey to it, but here I was, merciless in the hands of two shameless bastards.
And I felt like crying even more, because I was the one feeling shameful. Why the hell should I feel ashamed? But I did anyway, as I kept on questioning myself, Why couldn't you be stronger? Why couldn't you defend yourself properly? Where did all your skills go?
(TW ends here)
I closed my eyes and felt my body give way, as I started sinking against the wall. The two men hauled me up and kept me standing somehow. I heard one of them say to the other, "She's gone weak, won't fight back. Do it. Come on."
I felt that deep, sinking pit of dread in my heart, in my stomach, everywhere, as I realised what they were talking about. They were going to rape me. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh go--
"Hands up!"
The door suddenly burst open with life, as I heard new, quick footsteps rushing into the room. I didn't even have the strength to open my eyes anymore.
I could only hear some new voices shouting, and gunshots going off somewhere. The hands which had been roaming my body all this while were suddenly ripped off me, and I felt myself sinking to the floor.
"No, no, no. Winter! Winter! You're okay, you're okay! I'm here, Winter. Oh god. Oh god."
I could hear a familiar voice crying out for me, amidst all the noise and chaos. Familiar hands holding my weight and stopping me from falling to the floor. I mustered all my strength to open my eyes, and saw him.
Him. Finally.
His beautiful green eyes were tearing up, his brow creased with fear and worry, and something else. What?
He was saying something. His lips were moving. Huh?
"You're safe now, Kaia, you're safe. I'm here, they can't hurt you anymore. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. I'm so sorry, baby, I'm so sorry."
That was all I heard before I felt my world go black.
a/n: this was the toughest chapter for me to write, for obvious reasons. i've never dealt with the topic of SA in any of my previous books, but we need to realise that even the toughest of us can fall prey to deceptive situations, and repeat after me- if something like this has ever happened to you, it's not. your. fault. what you wear, where you go, who you hang out with, is your choice, and that has nothing to do with getting assaulted or r*ped. in such cases only the perpetrator is to blame and nobody else. if you've ever been in such a situation, i'm truly sorry, and i hope you're doing okay. i hope you've got your justice. remember, it doesn't invalidate your strength for even a moment. i love each and every one of you, because you're all strong, and beautiful inside out <3